Sitting black and white time

Chapter 15 Light: It is stubbornness that flashes tears, it is dreams that make life shine (2)
Although ill, I read a book or two.I can't read a story that is too profound, but a simple novel can still adjust my mood, so I found a novel by ruffian Cai that someone lent me.

Speaking of ruffian Cai, the memory probably still stays in stories like "First Intimate Contact".This is the first time I know that there are such things as online novels, and of course I feel sorry for that innocent story that has not had time to develop.

In this era, many things are actually changing.Whether it's fashion, everyone's eating habits, or everyday lifestyles, they're all changing subtly.Whether to change or remain unchanged is a question of right and wrong. Should you stick to your own style, or keep trying new things and seek more infinite possibilities...Whether you are a businessman or a literati, you will think this is a question worth thinking about Bar.

I read dozens of pages in one breath, but it gave me a pleasant surprise.Although there is not much change, it is still the story of the dumb boy who wears glasses and finally chose the water conservancy department and likes ordinary girls, but for some reason, I always feel warm in my heart.Perhaps this is the power of love.

It is precisely because the world has changed so much that human beings no longer know what to believe, so we need long-term and persistent things to strengthen our persistence and pursuit!Especially things like love.

The beautiful girl I met by chance on the bus can talk to the ordinary self, and is willing to help the standing self to carry the school bag. For us as high school boys, this is undoubtedly something to be proud of in adolescence, and this Girls can also remind themselves to "get off the car carefully" when they get off the car.A good mood for the day starts here!
I didn't have time to ask for my name, I don't know the school and class, and I don't know if I can meet again after I go to college. The future is uncertain!
And every time, I am super envious of this male protagonist, who can always meet that girl who belongs to him in the vast crowd.Whether it is the desperate and lonely Cai Zhiyuan in "Peacock Forest", or the male protagonist in "Irish Coffee", after a long wait, they will finally wait for the girl who gives him warmth, sunshine, air and water.Although the reality is so cruel, in this fictional story he used words, as long as he really likes each other, there will always be a day when they meet each other, and a chance to see each other again.Living with this belief, thinking that one day I will meet that person at a certain corner, no matter how much pain I have experienced, it is worth it!

At least I met you once, this is the most surprising thing in a long life, and it is also a memory that will never be forgotten in a lifetime.

Those tiny traces you left me, the color of the skirt you wore, your tiny glasses frame, your long hair tied with a green ribbon, the name of the candy you like to eat, are all painted on by me with a pen that will not fade a corner of my heart.Looking forward to one day, when the heavy cloth covering it is uncovered, the best picture scroll will be displayed in front of you.

It is important to tell everyone what love is, and it is also very important to teach everyone how to believe in love and grasp love.

Even in the long river of time, our persistence in love will not change.

So, my gardenia girl, where are you waiting for me?
Young and no one holding hands
Text / not summer
After returning home at night, I started washing with a lot of clothes in my arms.The washing machine in the house has not had time to be replaced with a fully automatic one. The old-fashioned washing machine has a sense of history, and after being stuffed with a lot of clothes, it makes a roar like human indigestion.Looking out from the balcony, the outside world is almost completely dark.Because of the air pollution, the stars in the night sky shyly hide themselves.In the weather that has not warmed up, there are only lonely street lamps in the city, emitting a dim yellow light.

You can only fish out the clothes from the cold water by hand, then stuff them into the drying bucket, twist the drying time button, and start waiting for up to 5 minutes.I don't know when a lot of people gathered downstairs, and the lit cigarettes turned into small red dots because of the distance, flickering on and off.

Suddenly remembered the night long long ago.You walked in front of me, the night sky in the countryside always looked low, and the stars in the sky were always so bright, as if they were within reach.At night without street lamps or flashlights, I barely walk with a little bit of starlight and the lights of people on the side of the road.Your back looks so tall, and you can't compare with the old man who is sitting at home now, watching the seven o'clock news and dozing off at the same time.

The way men express their feelings is very subtle. I never seem to be grateful for anything you have done for me, whether it was getting an injection behind my back in the middle of the night when I was a child, or the fact that you beat your classmates because of your youthful arrogance. I took it home, and at that moment the air was so quiet that it seemed to be suffocating.You walked in front of me, and I saw you slow down and fumble to take out a cigarette from your pocket.The moment the lighter was turned on, a small orange light illuminated a large darkness in front of me, and then the surrounding area was filled with the smell of tobacco... Your voice came from the darkness, it was not loud, it was louder than when you yelled at me The voice was too low, and the low voice hit my eardrum: "You are already a man, it would be better if you can make me not worry so much..."

For the first time in so many years, I looked at your back so persistently and earnestly. It was no longer the mood when I was a child watching you go to work and expecting you to bring me a toy Superman when you came home.For the first time, I realized that maybe you care about me; maybe you also have things you can't do; maybe you are no longer the superman in my eyes.Compared with the appearance you remember when you were a child, your back has been bent by the burden of time, and my puffed out chest does not seem to bring you any pride...

I wish the conversation that day could continue forever, I wish you could open your mouth and scold me, saying why I don’t live up to my expectations, why I always embarrass you... But the way you smoked in silence has been fixed in my heart forever. In my memory, I can't see your disappointed expression, but I can feel it.

The rumbling sound of the old washing machine stopping pulled me back from that night's walk, and the people gathered downstairs didn't know when they had dispersed.The hour hand in the living room is ticking, now you should sit on the sofa as usual and doze off while watching the news!
I really want to chat with you, I wonder if I will let you down now?Dad, what do you think?

you say i am your sea

Text / not summer
one,

When my cousin called, I was thinking about what to write in today's manuscript.

"It's raining heavily in Beijing today. Standing on the 27th floor and looking out, the city seems less noisy for the first time, and I suddenly have a feeling that I am not a foreigner. After such a long time, I finally have a kind of integration The feeling of this city. All these years of hard work finally paid off.”

I have been an ordinary and perverse child since I was a child.Because he is the youngest in the family, he is always doted on by everyone, and has a weird temper. He always feels that everyone in this world should treat him well.At the beginning, everyone was able to accept it, and always felt that this child was still young and could tolerate it.But later, the other brothers and sisters couldn't hide when they saw me, but this cousin still loved me very much.If you have delicious food, you will definitely leave a copy for me; when you see me on the way from school, you will take the schoolbag on my back; when you encounter a question that I can't answer, no matter how many times you always help me answer it patiently, Regardless of my sudden tantrums...

I have been envious of my cousin since I was a child.The envy of children is nothing more than the fact that the other party has better grades than you, and is praised by teachers and parents.Countless times I saw my cousin’s name appear on the school’s honor roll, and I heard teachers, classmates, and family members talk about how well my cousin performed countless times. I was envious and jealous at the same time, forcing me to work hard in the direction of my cousin.

Still thank her very much.

When I was in junior high school, my cousin took the college entrance examination.Unfortunately, she did not perform well that time, and she, who had always had good grades, missed out on an excellent university, so she had to choose an ordinary normal school.I remember my cousin was very sad at the time, but she obediently went to report when school started.

I chose to live on campus because I was preparing to enter high school.One day my cousin came to visit me and brought a lot of delicious food. All the boys in the class were booing: "×××, your girlfriend came to see you!" When he made a fuss, he also blushed anxiously.

After finally driving away the rowdy classmates, my cousin told me that she planned to drop out of school to study fine arts.

"I want to take the college entrance examination again. Maybe I can have a different ending if I take the path of an art student."

Since I was a child, I have seen many expressions of my cousin, sad, happy, distressed, and angry, but I have never been able to find the right words for the cousin who leaned on the railing of the corridor and stared blankly at the camphor tree outside. To describe, helpless, lonely...

two,

After that, I didn’t hear from my cousin for a long time. I just heard from my family that she was studying art somewhere, and I didn’t know if she was doing well.

When I saw my cousin again, it was already the summer when my high school entrance examination was over.At that time, she was painting in the studio wearing an apron full of watercolor marks.The studio is in a very remote small house, and there are many easels in the small space.

"It's hard to find! Hahaha, you still found it. I'll take you to dinner after I finish drawing this picture!" After she finished speaking, she continued to devote herself to the work in front of her, while I sat behind her and flipped through the papers. Drawings on the table.

I haven't learned painting before, so I don't know how hard a person has to work in a year to pass the school exam with this specialty.Just looking at the thick stack of drafts, from the inability to "draw" the shape at the beginning to the beginning of the style later, I think she must have worked very hard.

"Sister, do you think it's hard?" Maybe I didn't know at that time that hard work is nothing in front of the things I like, so I can ask such a question out of nowhere.

"Well, it's okay, it's still within the range I can bear. I think it might be harder to continue studying in that school."

My cousin stopped painting and smiled at me. I saw a blue sea on the canvas...

Later, I heard that my cousin was admitted to a school in Hubei.Since then, she has been studying in other places, and the opportunities for everyone to meet each other have become less and less.But I admire my cousin very much. She said she wanted to do it, and she really did. It took a year to successfully go to the place I wanted to go with the specialty of art.

A person who looks weak is also very powerful.

I thought my cousin would go back to Changsha after finishing college, but I heard news from my family that my cousin was going to Beijing to open a jewelry store.

The address of the store has been selected, and the decoration has been completed. The cousin who just graduated from university changed her identity in a blink of an eye and became the proprietress of the jewelry store.

I always felt that I didn't have the courage to live in a big city. When I saw the crowds on the subway, I unconsciously wanted to hide, but my cousin was different, she always walked forward bravely.

This kind of courage really makes me envious. No matter how many difficulties there are ahead, even if you are deceived and end up going to court, even if you are always slandered by your peers, you still insist on moving forward.

One day when I was walking on the road in the third grade of elementary school, a big dog suddenly appeared in front of me. I stood there at a loss. My cousin rushed out from behind me, picked up the stones on the side of the road and started to smash them all the way, just like a little hero. !
In my world, since my cousin is willing to accept me who is so ignorant and treat me so tenderly, she has been a very warm light in my world.

The reason why the flowers on the thorns are moving is probably because they are brave enough to bloom in the face of adversity!

Flowers on thorns, fragrance in the drizzle.

Flowers are blooming all the way
Text / not summer
During the military training at the university, I was selected as the team leader of the boys team to manage the boys team, and Xiaobaicai was selected as the girl team leader to manage the girls team.Among dozens of people who are completely strangers, being randomly selected by the teacher, such a thing as luck is really hard to say.It means to be in charge of managing the team, that is, to be responsible for dragging him from the bed to the playground when the classmate is not showing up. It is a thankless and exhausting job.Every morning, I have to go to the playground earlier than other students to count the number of people. After the end, I have to leave later than other students to report the situation to the instructors and teachers. You must know how much everyone eats during the military training. If you go to the cafeteria late, you will be robbed One meal is all empty.

In the end, only the two of us were left with a piece of porridge, staring blankly at the only steamed bun left in the cafeteria.

You said first: "You eat! Boys eat a lot, and they will be hungry later."

The aunt in the cafeteria gave me steamed buns. I always felt sorry, so I broke the steamed buns in half and gave you a portion.I didn't mind that much, I just sat in the cafeteria and started eating. You paused for a while, and then slowly sat across from me with a plate.

I no longer remember why I called you Xiaobaicai.You seemed to tell me that day, forgive me for my bad memory, I can’t remember many things, maybe it’s because you like to eat vegetables, or maybe it’s because you are whiter?
In short, the experience of sharing steamed buns this time made everyone get acquainted. From meeting in the corridor and looking around and avoiding sight, to waving and saying hi, and when meeting in the cafeteria, you will sit directly with food Opposite me was a classmate I had known for a long time.

During the military training, the weather was still relatively hot, and the temperature on the playground was already relatively high. We had to run around the playground or something. Some students were so dizzy from the sun that they fell down without paying attention while running.

You immediately rushed out of the team, took out a wet tissue from your pocket to help the opponent wipe the wound, and then put on a Band-Aid, very skillfully.Later, when you talked about your age, everyone exclaimed that it was impossible. You are one or two years younger than us, but you look much more mature than our big brothers and sisters...

You always give people the impression that you are the kind of girl who is very careful. For example, when the class eats, you will pass papers to everyone thoughtfully; for example, when it rains, you will let everyone squeeze under your big umbrella.We all think that you are a very patient and simple person, so after graduation, we heard that you became an elementary school teacher, and everyone thought it was very suitable for you.

If it wasn't for some classmates who said that after you went to elementary school one day, you would never be able to get through your phone, we would never have imagined that there are really kidnapping plots in the world that can only appear in gangster movies.

It is said that you go to work through a small alley, and after you and your mother separate at the intersection, you have to walk that 5-minute alley to the elementary school where you teach.From May to September, there was nothing wrong with walking for so long, but on that day, the 5-minute journey was stretched infinitely... You never walked out of that alley again.

Everyone is using all the power they can to search for, and they always feel that such a cute girl like you should not disappear, but after a week passed, we received a call from the police station, and we gradually accepted the reality that you have left everyone, and finally After graduation, I felt the power of death, which is incredible.

Obviously you are still the one who sat across from me and told me that your name is Xiaobaicai, and you are the one who smiled and shared fruits for everyone to eat...

In a blink of an eye, I can't even remember your name and appearance. Memory, what a cruel thing.

People who haven't been in touch for a long time can only be forgotten in the end.You see, you should be more active. We are all planning a college reunion here. It's a pity that you don't come to participate.You know what, what a pity.

(End of this chapter)