Sitting black and white time

Chapter 16 Light: It is stubbornness that flashes tears, it is dreams that make life shine (3)
Some time ago, there was an event on Weibo #those left friends’ QQ signature#, I clicked on your profile picture, and the phrase “Anyone who opposes himself will turn everything into medicine; "It's still hanging on the signature file, but that profile picture will never light up again, and the voice saying that he is called Xiaobaicai will never sound again. I think there is nothing but regret...

The classmates are discussing when to go to your grave to pay homage. I don't know what flowers you like. Can the baby's breath be all right?I hope those little flowers can illuminate your night sky, even if you are in another space, please don't be lonely...

Can you hear me?
our wishes.

irreplaceable old pain
Text / not summer
I lived in a small town with a river when I was a child.

There is a road that is not very wide, and there is a guardrail built to prevent adults and children from running to the river to play.Although the guardrail is high, there is still a gap at the same distance at the bottom, and children can slip through it.In order to prevent me from going through the guardrail, my grandma told me that there was a monster in the river, and if children accidentally approached it, it would reach out from under the embankment to grab the children's feet and drag them down.Every time I get close to the guardrail, I am always very worried, afraid that if I am not careful, I will be pulled down by the hand protruding from the gap.At that time, I always felt that the bottom of the embankment was synonymous with fear and death.

Every morning, my grandpa would go out early to buy vegetables with a vegetable basket, and my grandma would hold the clothes we changed after taking a bath and take a big piece of wood to the long stone steps beside the embankment to wash the clothes , I moved a small bench and sat on the cemented stones at the door of the house, while carrying the nine-to-nine multiplication table, while waiting for the slightly fat figure of grandma to reappear in my sight.In fact, I have worried many times. What if one day grandma goes to wash clothes and is captured by a monster in the river?The more I thought about it, the sadder I became, I couldn't do anything, I could only sit on a chair and cry loudly...

Every week, my grandma would take me to the Guanyin Temple on the east side of the town to worship the Bodhisattva.Before going out, grandma will comb the ear-level hair very neatly with a wooden comb, and then fasten a small black hairpin on the left and right sides respectively.In the gray and white color, the pure black of the small clip is particularly eye-catching.Then grandma changed from the white gown she usually wears when doing laundry, and put on a blue and black dress. She tidied everything from the collar to the bottom of the trousers, and then she picked up me who was sitting on the chair in a daze.Occasionally there will be water on the stone road, and occasionally the stone will suddenly tilt up. Grandma's feet are not the kind of three-inch golden lotus that was bound, but facing my restless body, my old body is a bit too much.In order to calm me down during the ten-minute journey, we would always go into a welfare agency to buy food.

The shop owner is an old man who looks older than his grandparents, his hair and teeth have all fallen out.Various snacks are placed in large and small glass jars on the shelves.Every time I see grandpa taking a glass jar from the shelf and weighing the snacks I want with a small scale, I feel full of satisfaction.Just say "Grandpa is good" to him loudly, and he will show a toothless smile, and then put a lot of food in the snack bag... The way to worship the Buddha also left a lot of snacks Lots of sweet flavors.

Grandma later raised a puppy for me, with yellow fur, small and cute.I take it with me wherever I go, and I will leave the meat when I eat, and throw it under the table while grandma is not paying attention, watching it eat with satisfaction.I also want to take it with me when I take a bath, and apply the bubbles from the new shower gel my mother bought on its head... I thought that dogs and humans have the same life span, so a small dog will definitely be able to Accompany me to grow up to the day when I grow old...

If it weren't for those people on motorcycles whizzing by with loud voices, the sound of brakes coming to an abrupt stop, and the tragic barking of dogs, I think I would not have experienced death and loss so quickly. What a pain.In this peaceful small town, everything is so quiet, the grandfather who goes out to buy vegetables at seven o'clock, the grandmother who takes clothes to the river bank to clean every day, the old grandfather who has lost all his teeth guarding the small shop... …My little puppy, before I grew up, was captured by the monster in the river.

Life didn't change much, but I became more and more reluctant to get close to the river embankment, and the fear of monsters in the river filled my heart.

It didn't take long for me to reach the age of school, and I was taken back by my parents and started to be a primary school student. I always think of my life in the small town when I was a child.Those old people with a gentle pace, and the monster in the river hidden deep in my memory, and the little dog who was hit to death by a motorcycle and thought he could accompany me to grow old...

My grandma, who had carried her clothes to the river to wash every morning for decades, but never climbed up those dozen steps, fainted at the moment after she stood up after washing her clothes.

You see, life is so fragile.

Some time ago, I went back to my hometown. The original narrow stone road has been expanded, and there are many tea stalls facing the street, but vehicles can still pass through.Colorful flags are hung all over the street in an effort to give it a quaint feel.A very popular large supermarket has also settled in, and the stone steps under the river embankment have also been dismantled, and a stage is set up in the middle of the river. It is said that there will be people singing at night.I stood by the river and stared at the flowing water in a daze for a long time. The memories about my childhood unfolded in my heart bit by bit.

My aunt called me back to sit, so I moved the chair and sat on the second floor, lazily basking in the sun.The weather was so good that it made people extremely lazy, and their eyelids were heavy and unable to resist, so they took advantage of the situation and fell asleep.

In the dream, I returned to the child who moved the small bench and was afraid of the river embankment, crying very loudly. My grandma took me by the hand and took me to the dream welfare agency to buy snacks. Smile at me, and give me a lot of cream melon seeds...

I opened my eyes, and there seemed to be two tear stains left by caterpillars on my face.

I who passed through the vague time
Text / not summer
Have you ever noticed the motorcycles on the street?

Sometimes it is really annoying. When you are waiting for the bus, there will always be a motorcycle driver speaking Changsha dialect: "Brother Man, do you take a motorcycle?"

The ubiquitous motorcycle drivers, and the aura of driving a BMW on the street made me want to let the urban management uncle to ban them.

The story happened on a Friday afternoon.I was rushing to get a ride back to my hometown in the countryside to visit my grandmother. I got off the train three stops ahead of schedule without hearing the station announcement in a compartment that was as crowded as sardine cans.But it was less than 10 minutes before the departure time of the shuttle bus... I tried to take a taxi or transfer to another bus, but during the rush hour, there is no chance for you to find a bus that you can squeeze on, or an empty taxi.

In desperation, I raised my hand and recruited a motorcycle.After telling the destination, I got on the motorcycle at a high speed, looking at my watch from time to time, praying that I would not miss the driving time.

The driver's chatterbox is opened at the first red light.

"Young man, are you going home?" The volume of the voice from the front was weakened a lot at the intersection of red lights where many cars were waiting in line, and when it reached the ears, only the thin voice remained.

"That's right! I'm afraid I won't be able to make it in time, so I got off at the wrong stop."

On weekdays, I wouldn't bother to answer such questions from passers-by, but today I need someone to ask for it. Although I will still pay, it always feels impolite not to answer.I could only obediently follow what the driver said, while idly swiping everyone's updates on Weibo with my mobile phone.

In silence, I passed through the city at six o'clock in the afternoon for a while.

When the red light switched to green and the car started again following the main force, the driver of the motorcycle opened his mouth again, and the rhythm of not being able to stop at all made me a little distressed.

"Where do you work? Is it hard?"

"Being an editor... It's okay, I sit in the office every day." Although there were all kinds of turmoil in his heart, he still answered his words well, and secretly hoped that he would stop talking.

"My son is graduating this year, and I don't know what he wants to do! He only knows how to play games all day long, and he also said that he will play games in the future... Oh, what a worry! We will no longer help the child when he grows up. Don't be too busy. I don't understand the world of your children. If he really went to other places to play games, it would be rare for him to see each other all year round..."

Putting this kind of words on myself, I suddenly felt that the drivers of the motorcycles were not so annoying. They also ran around outside for the life of their families and asked you if you would take a motorcycle.

"Yeah! But if you don't go out, you can't grow up!"

I thought of what my grandma in the country said, "Go out and have a look! Come back to rest when you are tired, and we will wait for you to come back here..." For a while, I felt that I understood a lot.

"Okay, young man, I'll put you here." The driver stopped the car in front of the bus I wanted to take, and the conductor waved and said, "Hurry up, hurry up, we're leaving!"

I hurriedly took out my wallet and asked him how much he wanted.The driver of the motorcycle smiled shyly at me: "I'm not a motorcycle driver! I just went to pick up my son home. If you say you drive a car, I will give you a ride. My son will encounter difficulties outside in the future. Maybe there will be kind-hearted people willing to help him."

For a moment, I was so moved that I didn't know what to say, so I stood on the side of the road and said "thank you" loudly several times.

As I grow older, I have a disbelieving attitude towards many things in this world, and I never thought that I would meet strange and kind people to help me when I encountered an emergency.When such a moment suddenly appeared, it made my heart suddenly warm. Maybe, my father also helped others at a moment that I didn't know, and he also came to accumulate character for his only son, me!

Next time if I see someone who needs help in the crowd, I think I will try my best to extend my hand to help him, to repay the warmth that this world gives me, that's all.

Someone was so proud of you

Text / not summer
I wanted to write about you a long time ago, and I remember you calling me when I was in college.There are a lot of people walking down the stairs, and the sound of footsteps and voices are mixed together. Your voice comes from the receiver, intermittently.Although I often talk to you, I notice that when you speak, you push your bangs behind your ears, and when you get excited, your hands shake up and down unconsciously, but this is the first time I hear your voice through a special medium, It feels a little unreal.

It seems that there is a large sea between me and you. You are in the forest on the other side of the sea, and the wind blows the leaves and makes a sound.

I don't know why I suddenly think of you, many people just disappeared from their respective worlds for no reason, and they are so ordinary that they can no longer be in ordinary daily life, but they suddenly think of someone or something, just like, just The recipe that was changed one day is the same, and it will be changed after two or three days. A certain dish that has not been eaten for a long time is like a person who has not heard from for a long time, and it appears in our sight again.

It should be the girl sitting in the front row of the bus wearing a bright yellow cardigan.

I don’t know if you still remember that morning, when people were blown drowsy by the south wind, you asked us one by one with a small book: “What color do you think I am in your hearts…”

The answers given by everyone are bright yellow, but you are a little unhappy. You point to the answer in the book and say: "Bright yellow means someone who is not close to you..." Your tone is full of anger.

However, you are suitable for this bright color.It looks warm, and I really want to be close to it, like a girl next door.

Although I really want to write about you, I can't seem to find anything related to you in the memory box. It seems that my brain has been knocked on and off with a small hammer, and the part about you has been chiseled away.

Up to now, I haven’t learned how to organize things properly. There are still papers scattered on the desk from nowhere, ballpoint pens with missing nibs, half-drunk milk, and books that are not arranged according to the specifications...

When I was immersed in drawing sketches, writing formulas and calculating math problems, you helped me tidy up the messy desk countless times because it was too late to clean up. Reference books and pencils were scattered randomly like this. You hummed a ditty while helping me Books are coded according to specifications, as if this is your duty.Back then, Virgo's memes weren't so strong, otherwise I would have laughed at you, and you're not a Virgo, why are you so fussy.

You smiled and said, "I can't pass the exam anyway, so I can help you with the aftermath!"

A face that's barely smiling, a face that's trying to show it's okay...

On your birthday, you may have been too happy. You, who don’t talk a lot, pulled me to chat for a long time, about the family you didn’t mention much... It doesn’t matter if you don’t get into a good school, anyway. The sisters are all married through commercial marriages, even if they don't work hard, the final result is doomed anyway.

"Do you know this song? I forgot the sadness of running in place, and I forgot that I was locked forever..."

You hummed softly. In the noisy classroom because of the absence of the teacher, your voice came softly. You still pinned your hair behind your ear with your right hand.

(End of this chapter)