Sitting black and white time

Chapter 17 Light: It is stubbornness that flashes tears, it is dreams that make life shine (4)
Soon I was transferred to the front of the classroom because of my grades. The distance from you seems to be getting farther and farther away, but when I want to give up, I always think that you don’t seem to have the right to give up. You can only passively accept fate. And I can still fight... What qualifications do people who have not been locked up say to give up.

When I got off the bus, the girl in the light yellow cardigan was talking on the phone, her soft voice was somewhat similar to yours.I don’t know if you are doing well in this city now... Forgive me for not being able to write any well-organized, half-joyful and half-sad sentences, only "time is gone, youth is gone, you hum a song softly , disappearing into the memory of a summer full of sunflowers."

You are the heart, the missing point

Text / not summer
After the weather in Changsha has been brilliant for a long time, I still can’t help but turn on the Tsundere mode. Under the double attack of cold wind and rain, I seem to feel the sadness that only the elderly will experience-the constant pain in the knees makes me sit down I, who disdain to exercise in the office, suddenly became vigilant.

It's also knee pain. When I was a teenager, my heart and eyes were full of joy brought by growth. When I was in my twenties, it became a health alarm.

When I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I, who was always short and chubby, suddenly embarked on a mysterious path from an otaku to a male god. The acne that had troubled me for a long time suddenly disappeared one day as if by magic.The height that has always concerned me has suddenly increased a lot. While transforming into an invincible and beautiful boy, the deepest memory I have probably brought to me is the pain in my knees.

Waking up with knee pain every morning is like a timed alarm clock, waking you up from the infinite fantasy of youth.Become more popular, become more handsome, become better at math... Such a beautiful dream is always interrupted by a sudden pain at [-] o'clock in the morning, and then the ordinary day begins.Put your schoolbag on your back, pick up the bread on the dining table, turn around two intersections, and walk up a long slope. At the school gate, there will always be teachers pointing at you who do not wear a school badge.

At the age of 16, my English is not very good. No matter how I learn, I will always be a student who makes the English teacher a headache.I still remember the scene after the exam that summer, when the teacher of other subjects asked me to take the water cup back to the office, and in a blink of an eye I saw the English test papers neatly piled up on the teacher's desk, and the ceiling fan was spinning and talking about it After school, there was occasional laughter on the campus. In the huge office, there was only me, the English test papers, and the answers to the test papers.

Before he had time to fight his mind, his body moved involuntarily, turned to his own test paper, and quickly changed the answer.It was early summer when the fan was still on, but I couldn't help breaking out in a cold sweat, and the knee pain that always only occurred in the morning, for the first time, it occurred irregularly at [-] o'clock in the evening.I dragged a painful leg, slowly walked down the long slope, turned two intersections and returned home...

I had cramps in my legs all night, no pain in my knees, and it was the first time I ever cheated in my life, and it was the last time I ever cheated.If you tell a lie, you need ten lies to cover that one lie.Because I secretly copied the answers, my English grades improved all of a sudden, and I was praised by the English teacher.On the other hand, it also opened the story of my never returning to the road of cramming English.

The so-called pain brought about by growth is probably not just knee pain and leg cramps during the growth process, but also the realization that in this world, there are many things you can't do, and things you can't do .Some things, once you take the first step, maybe, you can never get back on the so-called right track.Fortunately, there are some mistakes, because young people can continue to recover...

Now, if I don't work hard to move my body, I will probably become an uncle-level figure who is prematurely aging.Thinking about how I will look on crutches in the future, I am really not handsome enough!

Time is not old, we don't need to grow up
Text / not summer
When I saw the huge Jay Chou concert poster, it was already a few days before the concert.Occasionally, little girls passed by together, and continued to chat with them without raising their heads. The white-haired Jay stood in the May rain in Changsha, with a slightly tragic and pitiful air.

In our era, if such a large poster was hung, there would definitely be boys or girls who would quietly take it off and take it home while everyone was not paying attention, instead of being ignored like it is now.

At that time, people had more walk-mans than mp3 players, that is, walkmans.Put the tape in, and then close it with a "snap". With the sound of the tape running, music comes out of that magical little box.

In that era, in fact, not everyone had a walk-man.The way people get more music is from the little portable radio, which keeps tuning and tuning to a frequency that you think is clear.The sound that kept ringing in my ears, soft and subtle, accompanied by the voice of the host, flowed slowly in the night.

My tablemate was an unremarkable Jay Chou fan in that era.

Every time I go to self-study at night, she always pulls out my walk-man from my drawer, then smiles at me flatteringly, and then quickly stuffs Jay Chou's tapes in without asking me If you agree or not, just put the earphones in your ears, and do your homework while shaking your head to the music.

Occasionally she would take off the earphones and ask me if I could listen.Before I could answer, she would pull out a new tape from the drawer and replace it, continuing to shake her head and write homework.

"Why do you have so many tapes! Original ones are very expensive!"

"Oh, listen to the seniors upstairs!" He raised the tape in his hand a little proudly, but there was a shyness written on his face...

In those days when she was shaking her head, my walk-man was also replaced by an mp3.

"You will continue to lend it to me!" It seems to be pleading, but the tone is full of confidence, and you will definitely borrow it.

"Let me ask you, have you watched Jay Chou's new movie? "The Untold Secret" is really good! It's so touching."

I shook my head and handed her the mp3.

"I'll download a lot of songs for you, eh!"

When I saw my mp3 again, she was already waiting for me with the mp3: "Listen quickly, I downloaded Jay Chou's new song for you!"

The most beautiful thing is not the rainy day, but the eaves that escaped the rain with you...

Years later, when I think of this line of lyrics, I still think it is quite beautiful.But look, in the days of early summer, when I forgot to bring an umbrella and could only stand on the side of the street to hide from the rain, there was no one around.

In fact, I know that the reason why you like Jay Chou is that the boy you have a crush on likes it.The only intersection you have is the exchange of tapes that you don’t have, and then happily waiting for the next meeting before changing back. As your tablemate, how can I not support you?
On a rainy day, we start school, and you stand in the stadium with your books in a daze while watching the heavy rain.I walked past you holding an umbrella, and you memorized his examination number and classroom number fluently, and finally squatted on the ground and started crying.

Well, graduation, what a cruel topic, I can no longer exchange tapes with him, I can no longer deliberately walk slowly and stand in the last row of the line just to stand closer to him who is tall...

I know all these things.

The girl crying in the rainy day, and me standing beside me holding an umbrella sluggishly, are frozen into our memory of Jay Chou.

"I bought tickets for the concert..." You on the other end of the phone said in a loud tone.

"Wouldn't it be lonely to go to a concert alone?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I found a boyfriend who also likes Jay Chou!"

You see, leaving the past you, the sky has not turned gray either.Because of this hobby, I found someone I really like, how wonderful, don’t you think?
The next rainy day will belong to the rainy day you remember well!
It turned into heavy rain and landed on the street of no return
Text / not summer
I have been the editor of "Huahuo" for more than half a year. It is really a magical and proud thing to watch the manuscripts I have handled turn into paper products, exuding the smell of ink.

I really want to hand over a satisfactory report card, listing the short and long stories I have written and the interactions I have written.But I feel that this is too formal, so I give up. I am looking forward to the day when someone told me that she was very moved by the manuscript that passed through my hand, so I am satisfied.So, if you see an article like "Editor's Recommendation: Buxia", please give me your feedback.

But what I want to tell you today is another story.

Before the May Day holiday, a new batch of sample books just arrived, so I took a few copies and planned to read them on the train home. You must know that the traffic during Chinese holidays is called a traffic jam. Thinking of this will not be too boring .But when I got to the train station, I found out that the train I was going to take was late at the middle of the day when everyone was eagerly expecting to go home.

I could only sit in the waiting room with magazines and hamburgers in my arms and watch the crowds come and go and turn on the waiting mode.When I looked at the interaction and laughed, the uncle sitting next to me was probably frightened by my cruel appearance, and said to me timidly: "Little brother, what are you looking at, show me too! Waiting for the bus is a bit boring..."

It didn't take much time from being dumbfounded—pause—to politely handing out the magazine, and without thinking too much, he just handed it out.It wasn't until the magazine was in the hands of the other party that I came back to my senses. A man who was nearly 40 years old was reading a girls' magazine in a public place. No matter how I thought about it, this setting felt slightly inconsistent...

In the end, the situation evolved—I was sitting here eating a hamburger and drinking Coke, and the uncle next to me looked down at the novel with a face full of immersion.In fact, I am a little guilty. After all, girls’ literature is a bit different from traditional literature. The group we face is first of all the beautiful flowers of our motherland. Dreams, inspiration, and healing are all themes, and the stories seen in the adult world are It's different, the life of an adult has long been shattered because of too many betrayals and injuries...

I was so afraid that my uncle would say to me suddenly: "It's too bad, what is this written about. Is this the reality?" It should be a very sad thing for an unrecognized effort!I bit the burger carefully, and the air around me became hot because of my sudden tension...

"Little brother, is this the magazine you bought?"

The uncle finally raised his head to look at me and said something, and he had filled his mind with "You really have no vision...Young people should read more old books..." Such a serious and serious conversation, but I didn't expect that the story would have a magical turning point.

The uncle actually said to me: "The story is very touching."

It's all Spartan, man, really?Uncle, you really have a girlish heart!
In the story that the uncle read, the heroine gave up the opportunity to enter a higher school and went to a distant place with the hero she had a crush on, but after waiting for a while, she didn’t get the hero’s love for her... When I first saw this manuscript, I also I was deeply moved, and felt that if there is such a girl who is willing to follow me, I will definitely not let her down.I scolded the male lead in my heart, it really embarrasses us men to be so unmanly...

"It's good to be young. When you're old, you can only look at the people you want to like and protect from a distance..." The uncle's serious expression seemed inexplicably sentimental.

"In life, sometimes you learn to give up something, and maybe you can get back something different. If I was willing to stay with the girl I like back then, I wouldn't end up like a lonely person now. !" The uncle stroked his hair shyly, his face full of shyness.

"I also like this article very much. This boy pursues his dream. The story is very touching. Boys, of course, they still have to have dreams. Only when there are things to chase can life in this world make sense. Isn’t it a waste of time to go?”

For the next 10 minutes, it was all the uncle's thoughts on the stories he read...

After listening to it, I suddenly felt much happier. Even though our magazine mainly focuses on the teenage market, apart from teenage girls, older adults can also be touched by the magazine, and are willing to share with me those stories, big and small. This made me, who participated in the production of the magazine, very excited.

You see, I'm not bad. Others can empathize with what I make.

You see, I'm not bad, I didn't give up, I persisted on this path, and finally got results!

You see, I'm not bad, I didn't refuse other people's requests, and I got another chance to introduce our magazine to others.

Even if it is a little bit, I also look forward to it. This magazine I have worked so hard on, where I fought, can make you feel, just a little bit, my sincerity, just fine.

"Little brother, your work is great! It's a very good thing to bring emotion to everyone. You must know that in this age, people are blinded by various things and are numb! Oh, I'm already old, and I still feel sad when I read your stories, it's really embarrassing!"

After hearing this, I was secretly happy.You feel ashamed, but I feel very satisfied, at least, I have handed over a satisfactory report card to the readers...

The long waiting time for the bus suddenly became cheerful because of this short episode. It seems that my choice was not wrong.In the future, I also want to hand over a report card to everyone, full of everyone's touch.

(End of this chapter)