Behavioral Psychology: Instantly Read the Secrets Behind Others' Small Actions
Chapter 2 Different Ways Don't Complicate Each Other, Interpreting Friends' Micro-reaction
Chapter 2 Different Ways Don't Complicate Each Other, Interpreting Friends' Micro-reactions to Find a True Confidant
Friends are the wealth of a person's life.However, many young people are ruined by their friends because of credulity and inadvertent making of friends.However, words can deceive people, but behavior can reveal his heart.Therefore, this requires us to cultivate a pair of discerning eyes, to find like-minded friends by interpreting their micro-reactions, and to keep those ungrateful villains out of our hearts.
1.Friends who wink and wink in social situations are good at flattering
Mr. Q: One day, I asked the manager to have dinner with my friends.During the meal, I saw him winking at the manager, what is he doing?
Socialist: In social situations, winking people are good at flattering, which is the work of villains.Be careful when making friends with this kind of person!
【Scene reconstruction】
One weekend morning, when Lin Wen was sleepy, he received a call from his good friend Wang Qiang.Wang Qiang said on the phone that he was going to treat the manager of the company to dinner at noon and asked him to hurry there.
Lin Wen joined the company on the same day as Wang Qiang.At work, they are colleagues who cooperate seamlessly; in life, they are close buddies who often drink together.Although people often reminded him to stay away from Wang Qiang, saying that he was not worth dating, Lin Wen always laughed it off.
Lin Wen quickly got dressed and hurried to the designated place.On the way, he didn't know what kind of medicine Wang Qiang sold in his gourd.Last week, the manager revealed to him that he might be promoted to supervisor.It stands to reason that he should treat the manager to dinner, but...
As soon as Lin Wen walked into the reserved room, he found that his best friend Wang Qiang had already ordered the dishes.Lin Wen stared at the dishes on the table and froze in place.Before he could react, the manager strode into the room.
Before he had time to say hello to Lin Wen, his friend Wang Qiang greeted him immediately.While helping the manager hang the clothes on the hanger next to him, he also asked about his health.Lin Wen became more and more confused. Wang Qiang always disdained the manager, so why did he appear so attentive today?Because he was too attentive, he couldn't intervene at all.It made him feel very embarrassed.
When eating, Wang Qiang took the initiative to help the manager pour tea, wine, and vegetables.When the manager needed to light a cigarette, he immediately lit a lighter and leaned over, winked and said, "It's a great honor for the manager to come here today!"
Listening to Wang Qiang's flattering words, the manager ate very happily.After drinking for three rounds, the manager patted Wang Qiang on the shoulder and said, "Xiao Wang, your work efficiency needs to be improved recently! However, as long as you work hard, your future is bright!"
Wang Qiang smiled, and immediately bent down, nodded and said, "Yes, yes, the manager is very right! I should learn more about the manager's meticulous work attitude and rigorous life style. Therefore, in the future, I will invite the manager Give me more advice."
Lin Wen was puzzled by Wang Qiang's winking, nodding and bowing behavior. Although he knew that Wang Qiang had made such a move, winking in front of the leader always gave people a bad impression.Wang Qiang usually said how bad the manager was in front of him, but now he praised him to the sky.
However, what Lin Wen didn't expect was that a month later, it wasn't him who was promoted to supervisor, but his best buddy Wang Qiang.When colleagues went to congratulate Wang Qiang one after another, Lin Wen was stunned.Amidst the bragging of the crowd, Wang Qiang gave him a meaningful smile.At that moment, Lin Wen suddenly realized that he was just a pawn of Wang Qiang.I really regret it!
There is nothing wrong with trusting friends, but it is a big mistake to trust friends who are not worth being with.In the end, it is very likely that Lin Wen will suffer from it like in the story.So how do you tell if a winky guy is worth dating?
[expert answering doubts]
Determining whether a winky person is worth dating is a case-by-case basis.If you are in a social situation, winking at others is a kind of wretched villain's behavior, which gives people a very bad impression.
After reading the above story, it is not difficult to find that Lin Wen's best friend Wang Qiang is a villain.In social situations, one could tell from the way he winked at the manager that he was sycophant, a villain.
Confucius said that there are three kinds of friends that cannot be made.Among them, "You Bian Pi" refers to people who like to flatter and flatter people.Such people have no integrity and honesty, let alone principles of right and wrong.They know how to read words and colors, and use the wind to make the rudder.Not a single "no" can be heard from their mouths, most of them are compliments, but they blindly talk about other people's faults behind their backs.Just like Wang Qiang in the story blindly flattering the manager.This kind of friend is a slow poison, flattering and flattering others when they are in power, but making them worse when they are down, and even shooting them in the back, making you complain endlessly.
Looking back at the story, Wang Qiang invited the manager to dinner in order to win the chance to be promoted to a supervisor. By the way, he called his friend Lin Wen. In fact, it was not out of friendship, but deliberately set up a situation to embarrass Lin Wen and destroy Lin Wen's leadership in the manager. Good impression in the eyes.The so-called "little people block the way", Wang Qiang was successfully promoted to supervisor.
Looking at Lin Wen again, the reason why he suffered from being blindfolded by friendship is that he misunderstood people.In fact, if he could decipher the secret behind the micro-reactions, then he would be able to judge from Wang Qiang's frowning behavior that he is a villain and not worth dating at all.In this way, staying away from him early can prevent himself from being harmed.Therefore, we come to a conclusion: In social situations, people who wink and wink are good at flattering, which is the work of villains, and it is better to stay away from such people.
[Extended reading]
In social situations, winking is flattering
In social situations, people who like to wink and wink are good at flattering, which is a kind of villain's behavior.This kind of person is not worth communicating with, and it is the best policy to stay away.
In entertainment occasions, winking indicates that there is an unspeakable secret
Three friends are playing together, and two of them agree to play a joke on the other.Before making a joke, a person who knows the truth will inevitably wink at another person who knows the truth, signaling to the other person not to tell the truth, but to tease the uninformed friend first, and then talk about it after the fun.The winking here means that there is a secret between the two people that does not need to be spoken, and this secret must be kept from a third party.
2.Friends who like to shake their legs and feet when talking are selfish
Mr. Q: I met a friend recently. When talking to me, he always likes to shake his legs and feet, which makes me dizzy.
Socialist: This is not a good sign!People who like to shake their legs and feet when talking to others are selfish and selfish, and such people are not suitable for friends.
【Scene reconstruction】
Zhang Cheng recently made a good friend, and they had a very happy conversation, no matter what they were talking about, they could find common topics.This made Zhang Cheng very happy, and he was secretly glad that he had found a like-minded friend who could talk to each other.Therefore, whenever they have time, they go to the restaurant to drink and chat.At the beginning, Zhang Cheng's good friend always rushed to pay the bill, which made Zhang Cheng very happy.For he concluded from this that this friend was by no means a selfish person.
However, one day, a move of this friend disappointed him greatly.Today, the sun is shining.Zhang Cheng called a friend to chat in an open-air teahouse.Under the sunshade tent, they sipped tea and chatted, feeling very comfortable.They chatted about tea, about life, about life... While chatting, Zhang Cheng's cell phone accidentally slipped to the ground.Subconsciously, he bent down to pick up the phone, and accidentally caught a glimpse of his friend's trembling feet.This surprised him, because he saw such a sentence in a book on behavioral psychology: People who like to shake their legs and feet when speaking always like to shake their whole legs with their feet or toes, or tap their toes with their toes, Or slap the ground with the sole of your foot.The most obvious manifestation of them is selfishness and little consideration for other people's feelings.Everything starts from self-interest. He is stingy to others but generous to himself.
Am I reading the wrong person?In order to prove his vision, he continued to observe his friend's legs and feet.However, what made him even more surprised was that his friend slapped the ground with the soles of his feet when his legs and feet were not shaking.This action deepened Zhang Cheng's suspicion of his friend.From then on, whether Zhang Cheng spoke or acted, he kept an extra mind, and he no longer knew everything without saying anything like before.
Lu Yao knows horsepower, and time sees people's hearts.In the later exchanges, Zhang Cheng slowly discovered that his friend was indeed a selfish person.The initial generosity was but a temporary display.
Are people who like to shake their legs selfish?Why are such people not suitable to be friends?
[expert answering doubts]
Relevant psychological experts have concluded that it is indeed a selfish expression that a person likes to shake his legs and feet when he speaks.When they are not shaking their legs and feet, they often tap their toes and slap the ground with their soles.
Such people seldom consider others, and no matter what they do, they always proceed from their own interests.As long as it is beneficial to them, they will do it without thinking.It is difficult for this kind of people to make real friends, because they often use unscrupulous means for their own self-interest, and never care about friendship.
The selfishness of this kind of person is not only manifested in the material aspect, but also in the spiritual aspect.For example, when you are tired all day, you plan to take a good night's sleep.However, your friend calls and asks you to play with him all night.Although you are too tired to explain again and again, he still asks you with "Are you a friend?"This kind of friend is selfish, because he always thinks that others get more and he gets less.Therefore, they satisfy their own grievances by arbitrarily manipulating others.
Selfish friends are self-centered no matter in the spiritual or material aspects, and always consider their own interests first.Therefore, selfish friends are not worthy of deep friendship.
Zhang Cheng in the story has a unique insight. From his behavior of shaking his legs and feet, he spotted the flaws and discovered the selfish nature of his friends early.Thus, he stopped in time.Otherwise, he will be challenged like never before, both mentally and materially.This friendship will eventually die.
[Extended reading]
Shaking legs and feet expresses different meanings at different times, let’s take a look together:
It is selfish to like to shake your legs and feet when talking to people
If a friend of yours always likes to shake his legs and feet when talking to you.Generally speaking, people with this habit are selfish.They seldom consider others, no matter what time they are, they always consider their own interests first.Therefore, such a person is not worthy of deep friendship.
When you are overtired, shake your legs and feet to counteract fatigue
Shaking legs and feet when a person is overtired, sleepy and drowsy.This is a human nerve reflex, which not only relaxes the leg muscles, but also counteracts part of the fatigue.
When the pressure is too great, shaking the legs and feet is to relieve the pressure
Excessive pressure and shaking legs and feet are especially obvious in students.During exams, students will involuntarily shake their legs and feet due to excessive pressure.Do this just to relieve stress.
3.Friends who hold each other's hands for a long time are loyal to their friendship
Q Jun: I met a friend the other day, he held my hand for a long time, why is that?
Socialist: Don’t be afraid, people who hold each other’s hands for a long time attach great importance to friendship and are loyal to friendship. Such friends are worth making!
【Scene reconstruction】
Wu Shan is a lively and cheerful girl who attaches great importance to friendship and likes to make friends.In her opinion, a lover is a road, and a friend is a tree. When you are tired from walking, you need to lean on the tree.Therefore, she likes to make friends.However, she prefers to make friends who are gentle and gentle.
At a party, the beautiful, lively and cheerful Wu Shan was liked by many men.They all offered her the hand of friendship.
However, Wu Shan was extremely embarrassed when shaking hands with one of her friends.The friend held her hand for a long time and said: "I heard from my friends that you like to make friends. It's a great honor to meet you today."
Wu Shan didn't know why and hurriedly withdrew her hand, but unexpectedly, the other party held it tightly.Wu Shan was very angry, and even though the friend kept apologizing, she still felt angry.
Later, Wu Shan, who felt aggrieved, mentioned this incident when talking with a good sister.After the good sister heard about this, she thought for a while and asked, "You like to make friends. Do you want to make friends who are loyal and loyal, or friends who are hypocritical?"
"Of course a loyal and unswerving friend!" Wu Shan replied immediately without even thinking about it.
"If that's the case, then why do you keep your loyal friends away?" Wu Shan looked at her good sister half understanding.
"Holding each other's hands for a long time is a handshake habit. People who have this habit attach great importance to friendship and are loyal to friendship. They are friends worth making friends with!" Wu Shan's good sister said meaningfully. "It turned out to be a habit! I thought he was deliberately embarrassing me?" Wu Shan muttered.
When that person called again to apologize, Wu Shan not only accepted his apology, but later became very good friends with him.
When making friends, do you also misunderstand each other because you don't understand each other's body language, thus missing a good friendship.Words can deceive people, but a person's body movements cannot. If you want to find a real friend, you need to understand a little behavioral psychology.
[expert answering doubts]
Shaking hands is a relatively common etiquette in interpersonal communication in modern society.Generally speaking, shaking hands often expresses friendship, and it is a kind of communication. It can communicate the feelings of the original estrangement, deepen the understanding and trust between the two parties, express the respect, admiration, congratulations, and encouragement of one party, and convey the indifference and indifference of some people. Perfunctory, flattering, false, arrogant.However, some behavioral psychology experts have pointed out through research that the way a person shakes hands can often show his personality, and some subconscious actions can also express his thoughts. Different ways of shaking hands can reflect people's different personalities.
There is no doubt that, like Wu Shan in the story, we all hope to find friends who are loyal to friendship.However, because we do not understand behavioral psychology, we often miss loyal friends and make false friends.It wasn't until the day when my friend betrayed me that I suddenly realized that I was careless in making friends.However, it was too late.
Words can be deceiving, but a person's body movements can never be.The way of shaking hands can often reveal a person's attitude towards friendship, and different ways of shaking hands mean different meanings.For example, a person who likes to hold each other's hands for a long time is loyal to friendship, a person who is used to holding each other with two hands can confided in his friends, and a person who regards shaking hands as a routine often lacks sincerity...
If you want to make real friends, learn some behavioral psychology.Use the handshake to judge whether the other party is worthy of association.
[Extended reading]
The way of shaking hands can often reveal a person's attitude towards friendship, and different ways of shaking hands mean different meanings.If you want to find a real friend, take a look at the meaning behind these handshakes:
handshake avoidance
Some people never want to shake hands with others. They are introverted and shy, reserved but persistent.Such people don't give affection easily, but as long as friendship is established, their love will be stronger than stone. This is true for friends, and it is also true for love.
ambidextrous
It is customary to hold each other with both hands when shaking hands.This kind of person is sincere and honest, kind-hearted, and he is the most confidential to his friends, with a clear distinction between likes and dislikes.
long grip type
The hand held during the handshake is held for a long time.People of this type are emotionally rich, like to make friends, and once established, they are loyal and enduring.
Sloppy
Treat shaking hands as a matter of routine.Such people generally lack sincerity, act sloppily, and are not trustworthy.
4.A person who stretches out his hand and puts his fingers together refuses to confess his heart when making friends
Mr. Q: Today, when I went out to play with a friend, I accidentally found that his five fingers were close together when he stretched out his hand.It is said in the book that such a person often cannot make friends, but we two are really good friends!
Socialist: Many people are good at hiding their true selves, you'd better observe him more.Generally speaking, when reaching out, people with five fingers close together are unwilling to confide in their hearts, and it is difficult to make real friends.
【Scene reconstruction】
Lisa and Yunjie are colleagues who joined the company on the same day.They get off work together every day, eat together, and go shopping together on weekends.Over time, they became a pair of inseparable good sisters.
On a weekend, Yun Jie invited Lisa to her house to play.When seeing Yun Jie's mother, Lisa looked a little reserved.Although she pays great attention to politeness, she always gives people a feeling of following the rules.Yun Jie's mother trembled because of this. She had read some psychology books, which said that a person who is too disciplined will often delay major events because of being too cautious.In terms of making friends, it is also difficult to make real friends because they are unwilling to confess their hearts.Yun Jie's mother wanted to return home, but she didn't say anything.
When Yun Jie's sister came back, Lisa politely extended her hand to shake Yun Jie's sister's hand.Yun Jie's mother stood aside, noticing that Lisa's fingers were close together when she stretched out her hand, her brows furrowed involuntarily.Therefore, she was more sure of her thoughts, thinking that the friend her daughter had made was not a real friend.
At night, after Lisa left, Yun Jie's mother asked Yun Jie, "What do you and your friend usually talk about?"
"We chat about everything, about work, about life, about personal affairs, etc." Yun Jie said happily.
"Some words are still rotten in your stomach, don't say everything, be careful of being deceived!" Mom warned.
"Mom, what do you mean? I am careful to be deceived by someone." Yun Jie didn't understand why.
"The good sister you brought today, I don't think she is your real friend."
"Why? How do you know?" Yun Jie asked suspiciously.
"Didn't you notice that when she stretched out her fingers, she put her fingers together? Anyone who understands behavioral psychology knows that when making friends, people who put their fingers together when they extend their hands are not willing to confide in their hearts, and it is often difficult to make real friends." Yun Jie's mother is not without worry said.
"Mom, you are really an old tradition. How can there be such a saying now."
"Don't rush to deny my point of view. When you are chatting, you are almost the one who talks, but she rarely talks. How much do you know about her now? Do you know how many boyfriends she has had? Do you know what's going on at her house?" Mom said with a glance at Yun Jie.
"It seems that what you said is true. When we chat, I usually talk and she listens. I really don't know what's going on in her family." After her mother reminded her, Yun Jie said with a sense of enlightenment.
"So, you can't tell her everything in the future." Mom reminded again.Yun Jie nodded.From then on, Yun Jie rarely told Lisa about herself.However, what Yunjie didn't expect was that after a period of time, some of her personal affairs spread in the company.Yun Jie regretted it, but it was too late.
Have you ever met such a friend in your life, he knows everything about you, but you don't know anything about him.When he refuses to make friends from the bottom of his heart, he has decided that you can't be real friends.
[expert answering doubts]
No matter in social occasions or in life, people will stretch out their hands intentionally or unintentionally in many situations, and the outstretched five fingers often show different gestures, and these different gestures hide different meanings.Although these five fingers are small, they occupy the largest "territory" in the brain.Dr. San Feldman, an American psychologist, pointed out through research that small movements of fingers are very deceptive, and can often reveal people's hearts.Therefore, as long as we carefully observe the small movements of our fingers, we can accurately read the psychology of others.
In the story, Yun Jie's mother understood Lisa's psychology of making friends by observing the small movements of Lisa's fingers, so that her daughter recognized the true face of this friend in time.Generally speaking, people who put their fingers together when reaching out are unwilling to confess their hearts when making friends, so it is difficult to make real friends.Aesop said: "Those who do not share luck with others will not be loyal friends in disaster." Making friends is interactive making friends, and true friends are mutual attraction and communication, no matter happy things or not. Happy things should be shared with friends.Even if one party has a heart-to-heart relationship with him, the other party refuses to confide in him.In any case, it was impossible for them to form a real friendship.
People who can’t be honest with their friends are not worth dating. This kind of people are more insidious in their hearts. They use their friends’ trust in them to seek their own self-interest, and they also spread rumors, spread other people’s privacy, and corrupt each other’s personality, just like the story Like Lisa in .Yun Jie was murdered by her friends because of her inaccurate knowledge of people.If she had read Lisa's body language earlier and recognized her true face earlier, she would not have regretted it.
Therefore, from the above story, we can draw a conclusion: When making friends, we must choose carefully.Don't just listen to his personal words, but also read his inner world from his actions.
[Extended reading]
No matter in social occasions or in life, people often stretch out their hands intentionally or unintentionally, but the five fingers of the stretched out hands show different gestures.Some behavioral psychologists have come to a conclusion after research: when a person stretches out his hand, he can see a person's personality and psychology from the posture of his five fingers. Different five-finger postures represent different meanings:
When reaching out, people who spread their hands wide are straightforward
When reaching out, people who spread their hands wide are straightforward.They generally do what they think of, they are energetic, open-minded, do not care about small things, and are not afraid of failure.Even if you fall, you can get up quickly.
People who put their fingers together when reaching out don't make good friends
When reaching out, people with five fingers together are meticulous, polite and follow the rules.They often delay major events because of excessive caution.When making friends, it is difficult to make good friends because of the reluctance to communicate with others from the bottom of your heart.
When reaching out, the person with slightly open fingers is honest and steady
When reaching out, people with slightly open fingers are honest and stable, with a strong sense of responsibility.However, from another point of view, such people are a bit timid and cannot keep up with the pace of the times.
When stretching out a hand, people who put their four fingers together and leave their thumbs alone are mostly good socializers.
When stretching out hands, people who put their four fingers together and leave their thumbs alone are mostly good socializers. They are alert, able to grasp good opportunities, and good at using money.
When reaching out, the person whose fingers are all straight is full of emotion
When reaching out, the person whose fingers are all straight is more emotional and has rich emotions. He has a beginning and an end in everything he does, and he will never give up halfway and be anticlimactic.
People who retract their fingers slightly inward when reaching out are more stingy
People who retract their fingers slightly inward when stretching out their hands are more stingy, and they have very developed economic concepts, which belong to the stingy type.
When stretching out the hand, the person who bends all five fingers outward into a bow shape has a strong learning ability
When stretching out the hand, the person who bends all five fingers outward into a bow shape is very sensitive and has good learning ability.And there are many ideas.
5.A man who smiles is a friend who can share weal and woe
Mr. Q: I have a friend who is very good at playing. I recently discovered that he has a habit of snickering.I always feel that there is some ulterior secret hidden behind this kind of smile.
Sociable: Snickers are reserved by nature. They are very strict with others and always outspoken with their friends.Therefore, they are friends who can share adversity.
【Scene reconstruction】
Lin Na and Ning Ning are good friends. Lin Na is cheerful, lively and active, and never makes any demands on herself or others; while Ning Ning is reserved and gentle, conservative by nature, and has high demands on herself and others.Ning Ning has high requirements for herself and others, so whether it is life or work, Ning Ning has high standards for Lin Na.They have very different personalities, but they are a pair of rare good friends.
On this small issue, when Ning Ning puts forward an opinion, Lin Na always accepts it humbly.Therefore, the two of them get along with each other in peace.However, once, Lin Na had a quarrel with her boyfriend, and when she told Ning Ning about it, Ning Ning not only failed to comfort her, but also criticized her and asked her to apologize to her boyfriend.
Lin Na was very angry about this, thinking that Ning Ning was not her good friend.At the critical moment, not only did not help myself, but also spoke for others, which was really elbowing out.When Lin Na was furious, Lin Na unexpectedly found that Ning Ning was still chuckling.Therefore, she thought that Ning Ning was deliberately embarrassing her, and there must be some ulterior secret hidden behind her smile.In a fit of anger, Lin Na seldom interacts with Ning Ning.
It didn't take long for Lin Na to reconcile with her boyfriend as before.Under the nourishment of love, Lin Na gradually forgot friendship and Ning Ning who always asked her.One day, my boyfriend suddenly asked, "Why haven't you gone shopping with your friend Ning Ning for so long?"
Only then did Lin Na think of her good friend Ning Ning. When she thought of Ning Ning, the fire in Lin Na's heart rose again, and she roared loudly: "She is not my good friend at all. I quarreled with you last time, Is she still giggling?"
After the boyfriend figured out the ins and outs, he sighed and said: "Silly girl, do you know that you have missed a sincere friendship. Anyone who understands behavioral psychology knows that snickering is not a ridicule, but a habit. People who like to chuckle are conservative in nature and have high demands on others, but they are a friend who can share adversity."
Lin Na dubiously listened to what her boyfriend said, and went to find Ning Ning.Slowly, they became good friends who talked about everything.A year passed in a blink of an eye, Lin Na got a disease and needed major surgery.Many of her friends have left her, but Ningning has been by her side to encourage her and take care of her.
Do you know what's hidden behind the "sneaky smile"?Does it really mean to laugh at others and deliberately embarrass others, as Lin Na thinks?
[expert answering doubts]
Lu Xun said: "It is enough to have a confidant in life, and the world should treat it with the same heart." "Zeng Guang Xian Wen" also said: "Acquaintance is everywhere, and how many people can know each other." From this we can see that a confidant is really rare .However, no matter who you are, whether at work or in life, you need a few close friends at the "confidant" level who can share weal and woe.They not only take the initiative to help themselves when they have difficulties, but also support each other in spirit.
A "confidant" friend who can share weal and woe is important, but how to find such a confidant is the question everyone should think about.Just from a person's words, it is difficult for us to judge who is our friend who can share weal and woe, but we can judge from a person's habitual smile.For example, Ning Ning in the story likes to chuckle secretly. Although this kind of person is conservative by nature, he is a friend who can share joys and sorrows.However, her good friend Lin Na did not understand behavioral psychology and misunderstood her, which almost brought this sincere friendship to an end.However, fortunately, Lin Na finally recovered this friendship.When Lin Na fell ill, Ning Ning's perseverance fulfilled what Lin Na's boyfriend said: People who like to laugh secretly are friends who can share adversity.
A person may have many "friends" in his life, but there are definitely not many who can really share weal and woe.Especially in the workplace, most people who deal with each other often have interests in each other, and it is difficult to get close to each other, let alone share weal and woe.In short, a confidant is rare in life.If we have such a friend, we must cherish it.
[Extended reading]
There are different meanings hidden behind different smiles. Have you ever carefully observed a person's laughing movements?When choosing a friend, carefully observe the smile of the other party, and you will gain wealth for a lifetime!
people who laugh out loud
People with a big smile are always outspoken, love to give, and are very popular with family and friends.
Those who snigger can share weal and woe
Most of the people who snigger are conservative by nature, and they are very strict with others.However, they are friends who can share adversity.
People who cover their mouths with their hands when laughing don't like to talk
People who cover their mouths with their hands when laughing do not like to confide in their relatives and friends.Therefore, no one knows his secret.
Laughing people are frank
Laughing people are frank and enthusiastic in nature, quick in making decisions and never procrastinating, but their feelings are quite fragile.
People who laugh a lot are caring
A person who often laughs out loud has a sense of humor and love. He will never be jealous of others.
Tearful people are very compassionate
People with tears in their laughter often laugh so wildly that tears well into their eyes.They are extremely compassionate, love life, aggressive, especially able to sacrifice themselves and lend a helping hand to others.
6.People who slap the back of the head are less emotional
Q Jun: Once, I asked a friend of mine to do something for me.As a result, I went to ask him if it was done, and he slapped the back of his head violently.How could he make such a strange move?
Socialist: Most of the time, slapping the head is a sign of remorse and self-condemnation, but slapping the back of the head shows that this person does not pay much attention to feelings. Such a friend is likely to be a friend in terms of interests, not a friend who shares weal and woe.
【Scene reconstruction】
Luo Xiaodong and Zhou Lejun are good buddies.As long as they have time, they will get together to drink and brag, and the two of them talk happily.
Once, Zhou Lejun needed to sign an order, and the customer happened to be a friend of Luo Xiaodong.Therefore, Zhou Lejun asked Luo Xiaodong for help and invited that client out for dinner.
Luo Xiaodong patted his chest and said, "It's okay, leave it to me. I'll call you after I make arrangements."
Zhou Lejun happily returned home, waiting wholeheartedly for a call from his friend Luo Xiaodong.However, a week passed quickly, and Zhou Lejun did not wait for a call from his friend Luo Xiaodong.
Zhou Lejun became a little anxious, so he ran to Luo Xiaodong's company to look for him.Seeing Luo Xiaodong, Zhou Lejun asked anxiously: "How is my matter going?"
When Luo Xiaodong saw Zhou Lejun, he immediately patted the back of his head and said, "Oh! I'm so sorry, I've been so busy these days! I forgot about you."
Zhou Lejun was very angry that Luo Xiaodong didn't take what he entrusted to him to heart, but Zhou Lejun was even more angry when Luo Xiaodong slapped the back of his head.Zhou Lejun once heard a friend say: "A person who likes to pat the back of his head doesn't pay much attention to feelings. They often don't take what their friends entrust to him to heart. This kind of friend only cares about benefits. The reason why he chooses you as his friend, largely because he can take advantage of a certain aspect of you."
Thinking of this, Zhou Lejun couldn't help shivering.Later, after long-term observation, Zhou Lejun discovered that whenever Luo Xiaodong was short of funds, he would come to him to borrow money.Even though he paid back exactly what he said every time, Zhou Lejun was still faintly unhappy.
In life, are your friends connected because of certain interests, or do you cherish each other because of like-mindedness?
[expert answering doubts]
Everyone wants to make friends with like-mindedness, and no one wants the other party to become your friend because he can take advantage of some aspect of you.However, there are too few like-minded friends in reality, and many people make friends under the influence of interests.In a pair of friends, if one party is driven by interests and makes friends, while the other party makes friends sincerely.Then the party who makes friends in good faith will naturally be hurt.
Therefore, when making friends, we should gain insight into the other party’s motives for making friends, and judge whether the other party appreciates our own person and makes friends, or because of certain interests.This requires us to cultivate keen insight and be good at reading the secrets hidden behind the opponent's body movements.
In the story, Zhou Lejun, from the action of his friend Luo Xiaodong patting the back of the head, has an insight into the character of the other party who does not pay much attention to emotions, and also understands that this is not a pure friendship.Therefore, he kept an extra eye.After long-term observation, he discovered the true motivation of his good friend Luo Xiaodong to make friends—not because of his like-mindedness, but because he needed his own financial assistance.A friend like this will naturally treat you as a friend when the other party needs you, and kick you away when they don't need you.Therefore, if you meet such a friend, you must take precautions.
However, it is worth noting that different parts of the head are slapped with different meanings.When we observe a friend, we must distinguish clearly.
[Extended reading]
Some people become friends with you because they can benefit from you.How to distinguish those profitable friends depends on which part of his head he pats with his hands.A person who slaps the back of the head is less affectionate, and a person who slaps the forehead is a trustworthy friend.Let's take a look together:
People who slap the back of the head are less emotional
Most of the time, the act of slapping the head is an expression of remorse and self-condemnation.Suppose once, you ask someone to do something.A few days later, you ask him "did you do my business" and he makes a slap on the back of the head, so you don't have to wait for him to answer.Because the other party didn't take what you confessed last time to heart.
If one of your friends does this, and he slaps the back of the head, he's not very emotional and he's very hard on people.The reason why he chooses you as his friend is largely because of some aspect of you that he can use.Of course, there are many aspects of this kind of person that are worthy of your association and understanding, such as his dedication to career and pioneering, etc., especially his spirit of learning new things, you have to admire him from the bottom of your heart.
forehead slap
People who often slap their foreheads are usually outspoken people. They are frank, sincere, and compassionate.No matter how hard you teach him, you won't be able to teach him when it comes to "smart tricks", so if you want to learn something secret from someone, this kind of person is the best person.However, that's not to say he's an untrustworthy friend.On the contrary, he often thinks of others and is willing to help others.If someone like this offends you in any way, remember, they didn't mean to.
chapter summary
1.winking person
In social situations, winking at others is a kind of wretched villain's behavior, which gives people a very bad impression.This kind of friend is good at flattering and is a slow poison. It flatters and flatters you when you are in power, but makes you worse when you are down, and even shoots you in the back, making you complain endlessly.Be cautious with making friends with this kind of person.
2.person shaking legs
Generally speaking, people who like to shake their legs when talking to others are selfish.They seldom consider others, and no matter what they do, they start from their own interests.As long as it is beneficial to them, they will do it without thinking.It is difficult for such a person to make real friends.
3.A person who holds each other's hand for a long time
The way of shaking hands can often reveal a person's attitude towards friendship. People who hold each other's hand for a long time attach great importance to friendship and are loyal to it.These kinds of friends are worth keeping in touch with.
4.person with outstretched hand and five fingers together
People who stretch out their hands and put their fingers together are unwilling to confess their hearts, and it is difficult to make real friends.This kind of person is more insidious in his heart. They take advantage of their friends' trust in him to seek their own self-interest, and spread rumors to spread other people's privacy and corrupt the other person's personality.Therefore, such people are not worth dating.
5.who likes to chuckle
People who like to snigger are reserved by nature, they are very strict with others, and they are always outspoken with their friends.This kind of friend is a friend who can share adversity and is worth making friends with.
6.head slap
Most of the time, slapping the head is a sign of remorse and self-condemnation, but slapping the back of the head often indicates that this person does not pay much attention to feelings. Such a friend is likely to be a friend in terms of interests, not a friend who shares weal and woe.When communicating, you might as well keep an eye on it.
(End of this chapter)
Friends are the wealth of a person's life.However, many young people are ruined by their friends because of credulity and inadvertent making of friends.However, words can deceive people, but behavior can reveal his heart.Therefore, this requires us to cultivate a pair of discerning eyes, to find like-minded friends by interpreting their micro-reactions, and to keep those ungrateful villains out of our hearts.
1.Friends who wink and wink in social situations are good at flattering
Mr. Q: One day, I asked the manager to have dinner with my friends.During the meal, I saw him winking at the manager, what is he doing?
Socialist: In social situations, winking people are good at flattering, which is the work of villains.Be careful when making friends with this kind of person!
【Scene reconstruction】
One weekend morning, when Lin Wen was sleepy, he received a call from his good friend Wang Qiang.Wang Qiang said on the phone that he was going to treat the manager of the company to dinner at noon and asked him to hurry there.
Lin Wen joined the company on the same day as Wang Qiang.At work, they are colleagues who cooperate seamlessly; in life, they are close buddies who often drink together.Although people often reminded him to stay away from Wang Qiang, saying that he was not worth dating, Lin Wen always laughed it off.
Lin Wen quickly got dressed and hurried to the designated place.On the way, he didn't know what kind of medicine Wang Qiang sold in his gourd.Last week, the manager revealed to him that he might be promoted to supervisor.It stands to reason that he should treat the manager to dinner, but...
As soon as Lin Wen walked into the reserved room, he found that his best friend Wang Qiang had already ordered the dishes.Lin Wen stared at the dishes on the table and froze in place.Before he could react, the manager strode into the room.
Before he had time to say hello to Lin Wen, his friend Wang Qiang greeted him immediately.While helping the manager hang the clothes on the hanger next to him, he also asked about his health.Lin Wen became more and more confused. Wang Qiang always disdained the manager, so why did he appear so attentive today?Because he was too attentive, he couldn't intervene at all.It made him feel very embarrassed.
When eating, Wang Qiang took the initiative to help the manager pour tea, wine, and vegetables.When the manager needed to light a cigarette, he immediately lit a lighter and leaned over, winked and said, "It's a great honor for the manager to come here today!"
Listening to Wang Qiang's flattering words, the manager ate very happily.After drinking for three rounds, the manager patted Wang Qiang on the shoulder and said, "Xiao Wang, your work efficiency needs to be improved recently! However, as long as you work hard, your future is bright!"
Wang Qiang smiled, and immediately bent down, nodded and said, "Yes, yes, the manager is very right! I should learn more about the manager's meticulous work attitude and rigorous life style. Therefore, in the future, I will invite the manager Give me more advice."
Lin Wen was puzzled by Wang Qiang's winking, nodding and bowing behavior. Although he knew that Wang Qiang had made such a move, winking in front of the leader always gave people a bad impression.Wang Qiang usually said how bad the manager was in front of him, but now he praised him to the sky.
However, what Lin Wen didn't expect was that a month later, it wasn't him who was promoted to supervisor, but his best buddy Wang Qiang.When colleagues went to congratulate Wang Qiang one after another, Lin Wen was stunned.Amidst the bragging of the crowd, Wang Qiang gave him a meaningful smile.At that moment, Lin Wen suddenly realized that he was just a pawn of Wang Qiang.I really regret it!
There is nothing wrong with trusting friends, but it is a big mistake to trust friends who are not worth being with.In the end, it is very likely that Lin Wen will suffer from it like in the story.So how do you tell if a winky guy is worth dating?
[expert answering doubts]
Determining whether a winky person is worth dating is a case-by-case basis.If you are in a social situation, winking at others is a kind of wretched villain's behavior, which gives people a very bad impression.
After reading the above story, it is not difficult to find that Lin Wen's best friend Wang Qiang is a villain.In social situations, one could tell from the way he winked at the manager that he was sycophant, a villain.
Confucius said that there are three kinds of friends that cannot be made.Among them, "You Bian Pi" refers to people who like to flatter and flatter people.Such people have no integrity and honesty, let alone principles of right and wrong.They know how to read words and colors, and use the wind to make the rudder.Not a single "no" can be heard from their mouths, most of them are compliments, but they blindly talk about other people's faults behind their backs.Just like Wang Qiang in the story blindly flattering the manager.This kind of friend is a slow poison, flattering and flattering others when they are in power, but making them worse when they are down, and even shooting them in the back, making you complain endlessly.
Looking back at the story, Wang Qiang invited the manager to dinner in order to win the chance to be promoted to a supervisor. By the way, he called his friend Lin Wen. In fact, it was not out of friendship, but deliberately set up a situation to embarrass Lin Wen and destroy Lin Wen's leadership in the manager. Good impression in the eyes.The so-called "little people block the way", Wang Qiang was successfully promoted to supervisor.
Looking at Lin Wen again, the reason why he suffered from being blindfolded by friendship is that he misunderstood people.In fact, if he could decipher the secret behind the micro-reactions, then he would be able to judge from Wang Qiang's frowning behavior that he is a villain and not worth dating at all.In this way, staying away from him early can prevent himself from being harmed.Therefore, we come to a conclusion: In social situations, people who wink and wink are good at flattering, which is the work of villains, and it is better to stay away from such people.
[Extended reading]
In social situations, winking is flattering
In social situations, people who like to wink and wink are good at flattering, which is a kind of villain's behavior.This kind of person is not worth communicating with, and it is the best policy to stay away.
In entertainment occasions, winking indicates that there is an unspeakable secret
Three friends are playing together, and two of them agree to play a joke on the other.Before making a joke, a person who knows the truth will inevitably wink at another person who knows the truth, signaling to the other person not to tell the truth, but to tease the uninformed friend first, and then talk about it after the fun.The winking here means that there is a secret between the two people that does not need to be spoken, and this secret must be kept from a third party.
2.Friends who like to shake their legs and feet when talking are selfish
Mr. Q: I met a friend recently. When talking to me, he always likes to shake his legs and feet, which makes me dizzy.
Socialist: This is not a good sign!People who like to shake their legs and feet when talking to others are selfish and selfish, and such people are not suitable for friends.
【Scene reconstruction】
Zhang Cheng recently made a good friend, and they had a very happy conversation, no matter what they were talking about, they could find common topics.This made Zhang Cheng very happy, and he was secretly glad that he had found a like-minded friend who could talk to each other.Therefore, whenever they have time, they go to the restaurant to drink and chat.At the beginning, Zhang Cheng's good friend always rushed to pay the bill, which made Zhang Cheng very happy.For he concluded from this that this friend was by no means a selfish person.
However, one day, a move of this friend disappointed him greatly.Today, the sun is shining.Zhang Cheng called a friend to chat in an open-air teahouse.Under the sunshade tent, they sipped tea and chatted, feeling very comfortable.They chatted about tea, about life, about life... While chatting, Zhang Cheng's cell phone accidentally slipped to the ground.Subconsciously, he bent down to pick up the phone, and accidentally caught a glimpse of his friend's trembling feet.This surprised him, because he saw such a sentence in a book on behavioral psychology: People who like to shake their legs and feet when speaking always like to shake their whole legs with their feet or toes, or tap their toes with their toes, Or slap the ground with the sole of your foot.The most obvious manifestation of them is selfishness and little consideration for other people's feelings.Everything starts from self-interest. He is stingy to others but generous to himself.
Am I reading the wrong person?In order to prove his vision, he continued to observe his friend's legs and feet.However, what made him even more surprised was that his friend slapped the ground with the soles of his feet when his legs and feet were not shaking.This action deepened Zhang Cheng's suspicion of his friend.From then on, whether Zhang Cheng spoke or acted, he kept an extra mind, and he no longer knew everything without saying anything like before.
Lu Yao knows horsepower, and time sees people's hearts.In the later exchanges, Zhang Cheng slowly discovered that his friend was indeed a selfish person.The initial generosity was but a temporary display.
Are people who like to shake their legs selfish?Why are such people not suitable to be friends?
[expert answering doubts]
Relevant psychological experts have concluded that it is indeed a selfish expression that a person likes to shake his legs and feet when he speaks.When they are not shaking their legs and feet, they often tap their toes and slap the ground with their soles.
Such people seldom consider others, and no matter what they do, they always proceed from their own interests.As long as it is beneficial to them, they will do it without thinking.It is difficult for this kind of people to make real friends, because they often use unscrupulous means for their own self-interest, and never care about friendship.
The selfishness of this kind of person is not only manifested in the material aspect, but also in the spiritual aspect.For example, when you are tired all day, you plan to take a good night's sleep.However, your friend calls and asks you to play with him all night.Although you are too tired to explain again and again, he still asks you with "Are you a friend?"This kind of friend is selfish, because he always thinks that others get more and he gets less.Therefore, they satisfy their own grievances by arbitrarily manipulating others.
Selfish friends are self-centered no matter in the spiritual or material aspects, and always consider their own interests first.Therefore, selfish friends are not worthy of deep friendship.
Zhang Cheng in the story has a unique insight. From his behavior of shaking his legs and feet, he spotted the flaws and discovered the selfish nature of his friends early.Thus, he stopped in time.Otherwise, he will be challenged like never before, both mentally and materially.This friendship will eventually die.
[Extended reading]
Shaking legs and feet expresses different meanings at different times, let’s take a look together:
It is selfish to like to shake your legs and feet when talking to people
If a friend of yours always likes to shake his legs and feet when talking to you.Generally speaking, people with this habit are selfish.They seldom consider others, no matter what time they are, they always consider their own interests first.Therefore, such a person is not worthy of deep friendship.
When you are overtired, shake your legs and feet to counteract fatigue
Shaking legs and feet when a person is overtired, sleepy and drowsy.This is a human nerve reflex, which not only relaxes the leg muscles, but also counteracts part of the fatigue.
When the pressure is too great, shaking the legs and feet is to relieve the pressure
Excessive pressure and shaking legs and feet are especially obvious in students.During exams, students will involuntarily shake their legs and feet due to excessive pressure.Do this just to relieve stress.
3.Friends who hold each other's hands for a long time are loyal to their friendship
Q Jun: I met a friend the other day, he held my hand for a long time, why is that?
Socialist: Don’t be afraid, people who hold each other’s hands for a long time attach great importance to friendship and are loyal to friendship. Such friends are worth making!
【Scene reconstruction】
Wu Shan is a lively and cheerful girl who attaches great importance to friendship and likes to make friends.In her opinion, a lover is a road, and a friend is a tree. When you are tired from walking, you need to lean on the tree.Therefore, she likes to make friends.However, she prefers to make friends who are gentle and gentle.
At a party, the beautiful, lively and cheerful Wu Shan was liked by many men.They all offered her the hand of friendship.
However, Wu Shan was extremely embarrassed when shaking hands with one of her friends.The friend held her hand for a long time and said: "I heard from my friends that you like to make friends. It's a great honor to meet you today."
Wu Shan didn't know why and hurriedly withdrew her hand, but unexpectedly, the other party held it tightly.Wu Shan was very angry, and even though the friend kept apologizing, she still felt angry.
Later, Wu Shan, who felt aggrieved, mentioned this incident when talking with a good sister.After the good sister heard about this, she thought for a while and asked, "You like to make friends. Do you want to make friends who are loyal and loyal, or friends who are hypocritical?"
"Of course a loyal and unswerving friend!" Wu Shan replied immediately without even thinking about it.
"If that's the case, then why do you keep your loyal friends away?" Wu Shan looked at her good sister half understanding.
"Holding each other's hands for a long time is a handshake habit. People who have this habit attach great importance to friendship and are loyal to friendship. They are friends worth making friends with!" Wu Shan's good sister said meaningfully. "It turned out to be a habit! I thought he was deliberately embarrassing me?" Wu Shan muttered.
When that person called again to apologize, Wu Shan not only accepted his apology, but later became very good friends with him.
When making friends, do you also misunderstand each other because you don't understand each other's body language, thus missing a good friendship.Words can deceive people, but a person's body movements cannot. If you want to find a real friend, you need to understand a little behavioral psychology.
[expert answering doubts]
Shaking hands is a relatively common etiquette in interpersonal communication in modern society.Generally speaking, shaking hands often expresses friendship, and it is a kind of communication. It can communicate the feelings of the original estrangement, deepen the understanding and trust between the two parties, express the respect, admiration, congratulations, and encouragement of one party, and convey the indifference and indifference of some people. Perfunctory, flattering, false, arrogant.However, some behavioral psychology experts have pointed out through research that the way a person shakes hands can often show his personality, and some subconscious actions can also express his thoughts. Different ways of shaking hands can reflect people's different personalities.
There is no doubt that, like Wu Shan in the story, we all hope to find friends who are loyal to friendship.However, because we do not understand behavioral psychology, we often miss loyal friends and make false friends.It wasn't until the day when my friend betrayed me that I suddenly realized that I was careless in making friends.However, it was too late.
Words can be deceiving, but a person's body movements can never be.The way of shaking hands can often reveal a person's attitude towards friendship, and different ways of shaking hands mean different meanings.For example, a person who likes to hold each other's hands for a long time is loyal to friendship, a person who is used to holding each other with two hands can confided in his friends, and a person who regards shaking hands as a routine often lacks sincerity...
If you want to make real friends, learn some behavioral psychology.Use the handshake to judge whether the other party is worthy of association.
[Extended reading]
The way of shaking hands can often reveal a person's attitude towards friendship, and different ways of shaking hands mean different meanings.If you want to find a real friend, take a look at the meaning behind these handshakes:
handshake avoidance
Some people never want to shake hands with others. They are introverted and shy, reserved but persistent.Such people don't give affection easily, but as long as friendship is established, their love will be stronger than stone. This is true for friends, and it is also true for love.
ambidextrous
It is customary to hold each other with both hands when shaking hands.This kind of person is sincere and honest, kind-hearted, and he is the most confidential to his friends, with a clear distinction between likes and dislikes.
long grip type
The hand held during the handshake is held for a long time.People of this type are emotionally rich, like to make friends, and once established, they are loyal and enduring.
Sloppy
Treat shaking hands as a matter of routine.Such people generally lack sincerity, act sloppily, and are not trustworthy.
4.A person who stretches out his hand and puts his fingers together refuses to confess his heart when making friends
Mr. Q: Today, when I went out to play with a friend, I accidentally found that his five fingers were close together when he stretched out his hand.It is said in the book that such a person often cannot make friends, but we two are really good friends!
Socialist: Many people are good at hiding their true selves, you'd better observe him more.Generally speaking, when reaching out, people with five fingers close together are unwilling to confide in their hearts, and it is difficult to make real friends.
【Scene reconstruction】
Lisa and Yunjie are colleagues who joined the company on the same day.They get off work together every day, eat together, and go shopping together on weekends.Over time, they became a pair of inseparable good sisters.
On a weekend, Yun Jie invited Lisa to her house to play.When seeing Yun Jie's mother, Lisa looked a little reserved.Although she pays great attention to politeness, she always gives people a feeling of following the rules.Yun Jie's mother trembled because of this. She had read some psychology books, which said that a person who is too disciplined will often delay major events because of being too cautious.In terms of making friends, it is also difficult to make real friends because they are unwilling to confess their hearts.Yun Jie's mother wanted to return home, but she didn't say anything.
When Yun Jie's sister came back, Lisa politely extended her hand to shake Yun Jie's sister's hand.Yun Jie's mother stood aside, noticing that Lisa's fingers were close together when she stretched out her hand, her brows furrowed involuntarily.Therefore, she was more sure of her thoughts, thinking that the friend her daughter had made was not a real friend.
At night, after Lisa left, Yun Jie's mother asked Yun Jie, "What do you and your friend usually talk about?"
"We chat about everything, about work, about life, about personal affairs, etc." Yun Jie said happily.
"Some words are still rotten in your stomach, don't say everything, be careful of being deceived!" Mom warned.
"Mom, what do you mean? I am careful to be deceived by someone." Yun Jie didn't understand why.
"The good sister you brought today, I don't think she is your real friend."
"Why? How do you know?" Yun Jie asked suspiciously.
"Didn't you notice that when she stretched out her fingers, she put her fingers together? Anyone who understands behavioral psychology knows that when making friends, people who put their fingers together when they extend their hands are not willing to confide in their hearts, and it is often difficult to make real friends." Yun Jie's mother is not without worry said.
"Mom, you are really an old tradition. How can there be such a saying now."
"Don't rush to deny my point of view. When you are chatting, you are almost the one who talks, but she rarely talks. How much do you know about her now? Do you know how many boyfriends she has had? Do you know what's going on at her house?" Mom said with a glance at Yun Jie.
"It seems that what you said is true. When we chat, I usually talk and she listens. I really don't know what's going on in her family." After her mother reminded her, Yun Jie said with a sense of enlightenment.
"So, you can't tell her everything in the future." Mom reminded again.Yun Jie nodded.From then on, Yun Jie rarely told Lisa about herself.However, what Yunjie didn't expect was that after a period of time, some of her personal affairs spread in the company.Yun Jie regretted it, but it was too late.
Have you ever met such a friend in your life, he knows everything about you, but you don't know anything about him.When he refuses to make friends from the bottom of his heart, he has decided that you can't be real friends.
[expert answering doubts]
No matter in social occasions or in life, people will stretch out their hands intentionally or unintentionally in many situations, and the outstretched five fingers often show different gestures, and these different gestures hide different meanings.Although these five fingers are small, they occupy the largest "territory" in the brain.Dr. San Feldman, an American psychologist, pointed out through research that small movements of fingers are very deceptive, and can often reveal people's hearts.Therefore, as long as we carefully observe the small movements of our fingers, we can accurately read the psychology of others.
In the story, Yun Jie's mother understood Lisa's psychology of making friends by observing the small movements of Lisa's fingers, so that her daughter recognized the true face of this friend in time.Generally speaking, people who put their fingers together when reaching out are unwilling to confess their hearts when making friends, so it is difficult to make real friends.Aesop said: "Those who do not share luck with others will not be loyal friends in disaster." Making friends is interactive making friends, and true friends are mutual attraction and communication, no matter happy things or not. Happy things should be shared with friends.Even if one party has a heart-to-heart relationship with him, the other party refuses to confide in him.In any case, it was impossible for them to form a real friendship.
People who can’t be honest with their friends are not worth dating. This kind of people are more insidious in their hearts. They use their friends’ trust in them to seek their own self-interest, and they also spread rumors, spread other people’s privacy, and corrupt each other’s personality, just like the story Like Lisa in .Yun Jie was murdered by her friends because of her inaccurate knowledge of people.If she had read Lisa's body language earlier and recognized her true face earlier, she would not have regretted it.
Therefore, from the above story, we can draw a conclusion: When making friends, we must choose carefully.Don't just listen to his personal words, but also read his inner world from his actions.
[Extended reading]
No matter in social occasions or in life, people often stretch out their hands intentionally or unintentionally, but the five fingers of the stretched out hands show different gestures.Some behavioral psychologists have come to a conclusion after research: when a person stretches out his hand, he can see a person's personality and psychology from the posture of his five fingers. Different five-finger postures represent different meanings:
When reaching out, people who spread their hands wide are straightforward
When reaching out, people who spread their hands wide are straightforward.They generally do what they think of, they are energetic, open-minded, do not care about small things, and are not afraid of failure.Even if you fall, you can get up quickly.
People who put their fingers together when reaching out don't make good friends
When reaching out, people with five fingers together are meticulous, polite and follow the rules.They often delay major events because of excessive caution.When making friends, it is difficult to make good friends because of the reluctance to communicate with others from the bottom of your heart.
When reaching out, the person with slightly open fingers is honest and steady
When reaching out, people with slightly open fingers are honest and stable, with a strong sense of responsibility.However, from another point of view, such people are a bit timid and cannot keep up with the pace of the times.
When stretching out a hand, people who put their four fingers together and leave their thumbs alone are mostly good socializers.
When stretching out hands, people who put their four fingers together and leave their thumbs alone are mostly good socializers. They are alert, able to grasp good opportunities, and good at using money.
When reaching out, the person whose fingers are all straight is full of emotion
When reaching out, the person whose fingers are all straight is more emotional and has rich emotions. He has a beginning and an end in everything he does, and he will never give up halfway and be anticlimactic.
People who retract their fingers slightly inward when reaching out are more stingy
People who retract their fingers slightly inward when stretching out their hands are more stingy, and they have very developed economic concepts, which belong to the stingy type.
When stretching out the hand, the person who bends all five fingers outward into a bow shape has a strong learning ability
When stretching out the hand, the person who bends all five fingers outward into a bow shape is very sensitive and has good learning ability.And there are many ideas.
5.A man who smiles is a friend who can share weal and woe
Mr. Q: I have a friend who is very good at playing. I recently discovered that he has a habit of snickering.I always feel that there is some ulterior secret hidden behind this kind of smile.
Sociable: Snickers are reserved by nature. They are very strict with others and always outspoken with their friends.Therefore, they are friends who can share adversity.
【Scene reconstruction】
Lin Na and Ning Ning are good friends. Lin Na is cheerful, lively and active, and never makes any demands on herself or others; while Ning Ning is reserved and gentle, conservative by nature, and has high demands on herself and others.Ning Ning has high requirements for herself and others, so whether it is life or work, Ning Ning has high standards for Lin Na.They have very different personalities, but they are a pair of rare good friends.
On this small issue, when Ning Ning puts forward an opinion, Lin Na always accepts it humbly.Therefore, the two of them get along with each other in peace.However, once, Lin Na had a quarrel with her boyfriend, and when she told Ning Ning about it, Ning Ning not only failed to comfort her, but also criticized her and asked her to apologize to her boyfriend.
Lin Na was very angry about this, thinking that Ning Ning was not her good friend.At the critical moment, not only did not help myself, but also spoke for others, which was really elbowing out.When Lin Na was furious, Lin Na unexpectedly found that Ning Ning was still chuckling.Therefore, she thought that Ning Ning was deliberately embarrassing her, and there must be some ulterior secret hidden behind her smile.In a fit of anger, Lin Na seldom interacts with Ning Ning.
It didn't take long for Lin Na to reconcile with her boyfriend as before.Under the nourishment of love, Lin Na gradually forgot friendship and Ning Ning who always asked her.One day, my boyfriend suddenly asked, "Why haven't you gone shopping with your friend Ning Ning for so long?"
Only then did Lin Na think of her good friend Ning Ning. When she thought of Ning Ning, the fire in Lin Na's heart rose again, and she roared loudly: "She is not my good friend at all. I quarreled with you last time, Is she still giggling?"
After the boyfriend figured out the ins and outs, he sighed and said: "Silly girl, do you know that you have missed a sincere friendship. Anyone who understands behavioral psychology knows that snickering is not a ridicule, but a habit. People who like to chuckle are conservative in nature and have high demands on others, but they are a friend who can share adversity."
Lin Na dubiously listened to what her boyfriend said, and went to find Ning Ning.Slowly, they became good friends who talked about everything.A year passed in a blink of an eye, Lin Na got a disease and needed major surgery.Many of her friends have left her, but Ningning has been by her side to encourage her and take care of her.
Do you know what's hidden behind the "sneaky smile"?Does it really mean to laugh at others and deliberately embarrass others, as Lin Na thinks?
[expert answering doubts]
Lu Xun said: "It is enough to have a confidant in life, and the world should treat it with the same heart." "Zeng Guang Xian Wen" also said: "Acquaintance is everywhere, and how many people can know each other." From this we can see that a confidant is really rare .However, no matter who you are, whether at work or in life, you need a few close friends at the "confidant" level who can share weal and woe.They not only take the initiative to help themselves when they have difficulties, but also support each other in spirit.
A "confidant" friend who can share weal and woe is important, but how to find such a confidant is the question everyone should think about.Just from a person's words, it is difficult for us to judge who is our friend who can share weal and woe, but we can judge from a person's habitual smile.For example, Ning Ning in the story likes to chuckle secretly. Although this kind of person is conservative by nature, he is a friend who can share joys and sorrows.However, her good friend Lin Na did not understand behavioral psychology and misunderstood her, which almost brought this sincere friendship to an end.However, fortunately, Lin Na finally recovered this friendship.When Lin Na fell ill, Ning Ning's perseverance fulfilled what Lin Na's boyfriend said: People who like to laugh secretly are friends who can share adversity.
A person may have many "friends" in his life, but there are definitely not many who can really share weal and woe.Especially in the workplace, most people who deal with each other often have interests in each other, and it is difficult to get close to each other, let alone share weal and woe.In short, a confidant is rare in life.If we have such a friend, we must cherish it.
[Extended reading]
There are different meanings hidden behind different smiles. Have you ever carefully observed a person's laughing movements?When choosing a friend, carefully observe the smile of the other party, and you will gain wealth for a lifetime!
people who laugh out loud
People with a big smile are always outspoken, love to give, and are very popular with family and friends.
Those who snigger can share weal and woe
Most of the people who snigger are conservative by nature, and they are very strict with others.However, they are friends who can share adversity.
People who cover their mouths with their hands when laughing don't like to talk
People who cover their mouths with their hands when laughing do not like to confide in their relatives and friends.Therefore, no one knows his secret.
Laughing people are frank
Laughing people are frank and enthusiastic in nature, quick in making decisions and never procrastinating, but their feelings are quite fragile.
People who laugh a lot are caring
A person who often laughs out loud has a sense of humor and love. He will never be jealous of others.
Tearful people are very compassionate
People with tears in their laughter often laugh so wildly that tears well into their eyes.They are extremely compassionate, love life, aggressive, especially able to sacrifice themselves and lend a helping hand to others.
6.People who slap the back of the head are less emotional
Q Jun: Once, I asked a friend of mine to do something for me.As a result, I went to ask him if it was done, and he slapped the back of his head violently.How could he make such a strange move?
Socialist: Most of the time, slapping the head is a sign of remorse and self-condemnation, but slapping the back of the head shows that this person does not pay much attention to feelings. Such a friend is likely to be a friend in terms of interests, not a friend who shares weal and woe.
【Scene reconstruction】
Luo Xiaodong and Zhou Lejun are good buddies.As long as they have time, they will get together to drink and brag, and the two of them talk happily.
Once, Zhou Lejun needed to sign an order, and the customer happened to be a friend of Luo Xiaodong.Therefore, Zhou Lejun asked Luo Xiaodong for help and invited that client out for dinner.
Luo Xiaodong patted his chest and said, "It's okay, leave it to me. I'll call you after I make arrangements."
Zhou Lejun happily returned home, waiting wholeheartedly for a call from his friend Luo Xiaodong.However, a week passed quickly, and Zhou Lejun did not wait for a call from his friend Luo Xiaodong.
Zhou Lejun became a little anxious, so he ran to Luo Xiaodong's company to look for him.Seeing Luo Xiaodong, Zhou Lejun asked anxiously: "How is my matter going?"
When Luo Xiaodong saw Zhou Lejun, he immediately patted the back of his head and said, "Oh! I'm so sorry, I've been so busy these days! I forgot about you."
Zhou Lejun was very angry that Luo Xiaodong didn't take what he entrusted to him to heart, but Zhou Lejun was even more angry when Luo Xiaodong slapped the back of his head.Zhou Lejun once heard a friend say: "A person who likes to pat the back of his head doesn't pay much attention to feelings. They often don't take what their friends entrust to him to heart. This kind of friend only cares about benefits. The reason why he chooses you as his friend, largely because he can take advantage of a certain aspect of you."
Thinking of this, Zhou Lejun couldn't help shivering.Later, after long-term observation, Zhou Lejun discovered that whenever Luo Xiaodong was short of funds, he would come to him to borrow money.Even though he paid back exactly what he said every time, Zhou Lejun was still faintly unhappy.
In life, are your friends connected because of certain interests, or do you cherish each other because of like-mindedness?
[expert answering doubts]
Everyone wants to make friends with like-mindedness, and no one wants the other party to become your friend because he can take advantage of some aspect of you.However, there are too few like-minded friends in reality, and many people make friends under the influence of interests.In a pair of friends, if one party is driven by interests and makes friends, while the other party makes friends sincerely.Then the party who makes friends in good faith will naturally be hurt.
Therefore, when making friends, we should gain insight into the other party’s motives for making friends, and judge whether the other party appreciates our own person and makes friends, or because of certain interests.This requires us to cultivate keen insight and be good at reading the secrets hidden behind the opponent's body movements.
In the story, Zhou Lejun, from the action of his friend Luo Xiaodong patting the back of the head, has an insight into the character of the other party who does not pay much attention to emotions, and also understands that this is not a pure friendship.Therefore, he kept an extra eye.After long-term observation, he discovered the true motivation of his good friend Luo Xiaodong to make friends—not because of his like-mindedness, but because he needed his own financial assistance.A friend like this will naturally treat you as a friend when the other party needs you, and kick you away when they don't need you.Therefore, if you meet such a friend, you must take precautions.
However, it is worth noting that different parts of the head are slapped with different meanings.When we observe a friend, we must distinguish clearly.
[Extended reading]
Some people become friends with you because they can benefit from you.How to distinguish those profitable friends depends on which part of his head he pats with his hands.A person who slaps the back of the head is less affectionate, and a person who slaps the forehead is a trustworthy friend.Let's take a look together:
People who slap the back of the head are less emotional
Most of the time, the act of slapping the head is an expression of remorse and self-condemnation.Suppose once, you ask someone to do something.A few days later, you ask him "did you do my business" and he makes a slap on the back of the head, so you don't have to wait for him to answer.Because the other party didn't take what you confessed last time to heart.
If one of your friends does this, and he slaps the back of the head, he's not very emotional and he's very hard on people.The reason why he chooses you as his friend is largely because of some aspect of you that he can use.Of course, there are many aspects of this kind of person that are worthy of your association and understanding, such as his dedication to career and pioneering, etc., especially his spirit of learning new things, you have to admire him from the bottom of your heart.
forehead slap
People who often slap their foreheads are usually outspoken people. They are frank, sincere, and compassionate.No matter how hard you teach him, you won't be able to teach him when it comes to "smart tricks", so if you want to learn something secret from someone, this kind of person is the best person.However, that's not to say he's an untrustworthy friend.On the contrary, he often thinks of others and is willing to help others.If someone like this offends you in any way, remember, they didn't mean to.
chapter summary
1.winking person
In social situations, winking at others is a kind of wretched villain's behavior, which gives people a very bad impression.This kind of friend is good at flattering and is a slow poison. It flatters and flatters you when you are in power, but makes you worse when you are down, and even shoots you in the back, making you complain endlessly.Be cautious with making friends with this kind of person.
2.person shaking legs
Generally speaking, people who like to shake their legs when talking to others are selfish.They seldom consider others, and no matter what they do, they start from their own interests.As long as it is beneficial to them, they will do it without thinking.It is difficult for such a person to make real friends.
3.A person who holds each other's hand for a long time
The way of shaking hands can often reveal a person's attitude towards friendship. People who hold each other's hand for a long time attach great importance to friendship and are loyal to it.These kinds of friends are worth keeping in touch with.
4.person with outstretched hand and five fingers together
People who stretch out their hands and put their fingers together are unwilling to confess their hearts, and it is difficult to make real friends.This kind of person is more insidious in his heart. They take advantage of their friends' trust in him to seek their own self-interest, and spread rumors to spread other people's privacy and corrupt the other person's personality.Therefore, such people are not worth dating.
5.who likes to chuckle
People who like to snigger are reserved by nature, they are very strict with others, and they are always outspoken with their friends.This kind of friend is a friend who can share adversity and is worth making friends with.
6.head slap
Most of the time, slapping the head is a sign of remorse and self-condemnation, but slapping the back of the head often indicates that this person does not pay much attention to feelings. Such a friend is likely to be a friend in terms of interests, not a friend who shares weal and woe.When communicating, you might as well keep an eye on it.
(End of this chapter)
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