Behavioral Psychology: Instantly Read the Secrets Behind Others' Small Actions
Chapter 6 There is a clever way to get promoted step by step, interpret the boss's micro-reacti
Chapter 6 There is a clever way to get promoted step by step, interpret the boss's micro-reactions to find out his psychological state
In the workplace, the relationship between subordinates and superiors is very delicate.The boss not only has to give orders, but also often "talks too much", always hesitates to say something that is difficult to explain.As a subordinate, if you want to advance step by step, you need to cultivate a keen sense of smell, be good at interpreting the boss's "micro-reactions", and grasp the boss's true intentions.Only in this way can you clear the way for yourself on the road to promotion.
1.The boss nods frequently to show that he is very impatient
Q Jun: I really don’t understand why the general manager always nods frequently when talking to me?
Professionals in the workplace: A person nods his head in affirmation, but nodding too often means that he has become impatient!
【Scene reconstruction】
On the last day of the month, Manager Wang from the HR Department walked into the general manager's office with a stack of documents.As he walked, he flipped through the documents, without noticing that the general manager was tidying up the drawers and was about to leave.
"Mr. Li, do you have time now? I just finished finishing the report, and now I want to report to you the basic situation of the company this month." Manager Wang said bluntly as he walked into the office.
The general manager sat up straight, nodded and said, "Well, yes, you can tell me!"
"The situation in the company is very bad this month. Xiaoli, the administrative clerk, has resigned. There is not enough manpower, and some reports have not been sorted out. I think we should recruit a clerk as soon as possible to take over Xiaoli's job."
The general manager lowered his head and thought for a while, then reached out to take the report that Manager Wang handed over, and read it carefully.When the general manager buried himself in the report, Manager Wang still chattered and said: "The company's punch card machine is not very easy to use, I want to change to a fingerprint recognition machine."
The general manager kept looking at the report, but nodded his head several times frequently.When Manager Wang saw the general manager nodding his head frequently and was secretly rejoicing, the general manager handed him the report and said in a slightly angry tone: "Show me the report after it is completely sorted out. For other things, wait until next month." Let's talk." After finishing speaking, he walked out of the office.
Manager Wang was stunned in the office, a little confused.Soon, a month passed, and the general manager never brought up the company's recruitment of clerks and purchase of fingerprint punching machines, but from time to time he accused him of not completing his work well enough.This made Manager Wang of the HR department extremely depressed.
Everyone knows that nodding means yes.However, will nodding mean different things because of different situations, occasions or different times?
[expert answering doubts]
In fact, nodding represents different meanings in different situations, and different times of nodding have different meanings.In the workplace, many young people have encountered such a situation: the boss clearly nodded and promised to do something, but never realized it.Why is this?Is it really the boss who contradicts what he says and does what he says?
From the above story, we found that it was not the boss who turned his back on what he said, but that Manager Wang of the HR Department did not understand the secret behind the boss's "micro-reaction".After reading the story carefully, we found that there are three points in the story that focus on the nodding of the general manager. The first time he nods, he naturally expresses agreement and permission, but the second nod is obviously perfunctory to Manager Wang, but Manager Wang did not Realized, still chattering.When Manager Wang put forward his request again, the general manager was already very impatient.That's why there were frequent nodding movements, but Manager Wang didn't understand what it meant.While he was secretly rejoicing, the general manager couldn't take it anymore, handed him the report angrily, and walked out of the office alone, leaving a stunned Manager Wang in the office.
The failure of Manager Wang is that he did not understand the secret behind the boss's "micro-reaction", and did not understand the true meaning of the general manager's frequent nodding.Therefore, from the above story, we can draw a conclusion: In order to get promoted in the workplace, in addition to doing a good job, you must also understand a little behavioral psychology and understand the secrets behind the boss's "micro-response". Make a conclusion after fully understanding the psychological state of the boss.
So how to interpret the secret behind the boss's "micro-reaction"?This requires us to cultivate a keen sense of smell.
When we ask our superiors for their opinions, if we want to know whether the other party really agrees, for example, when Manager Wang in the story asked Mr. Observe carefully when he answers, whether the natural movement of the head at this moment is consistent with his answer.
If a person agrees, accepts, and agrees from the heart, and his attitude is affirmative, accompanied by a slight nod, then he can trust his answer at this time.On the contrary, if he agreed to you verbally, but didn't nod, just lowered his head slightly, or even showed signs of shaking his head, then he agreed to you is duplicity.Because his body language has exposed his inner world.If you observe carefully, it is not difficult to find the mystery.
[Extended reading]
However, it is worth noting that in different situations, different times of nodding express different meanings, let's take a look together:
nod your head in affirmation
Once, a behavioral psychologist conducted research on congenitally blind, deaf, and dumb people, and found that they also nodded in affirmation.Therefore, a "nodding innate theory" is derived.This point of view applies everywhere in the world, and nodding means "yes", that is, an affirmative attitude.Of course, there are individual exceptions.For example, some people have to nod when they are forced to agree.A nod here does not mean agreement.
frequent nodding to express impatience
Behavioral psychology has found through research that if in a conversation between two people, if one person nods too frequently, for example, for a sentence said by the other party, a point of view expounded, like the general manager in the story, nodding frequently, more than three times, Then it probably no longer means that he agrees or agrees with this person's point of view, but shows his impatience and negation, which is probably just perfunctory to the other party.
The action of nodding does not match the situation of the conversation, which means that the other party is not listening to you carefully
For example, when a subordinate is reporting work to his boss, the leader looks at the computer.After the subordinates finished reporting, the leader did not give any reply.After a while, he nodded in a panic and said "yes".In a situation like this, the leader did not listen carefully and attentively to his subordinates at all.Therefore, you must carefully observe the actions of your boss.
2.Raising right eyebrow to express skepticism of subordinate
Q Jun: One day, when I was reporting to the leader, why did he raise his right eyebrow?
Professional in the workplace: The boss raised his right eyebrow to show that he doesn't believe what you said. From this, it can be seen that the boss still doubts you very much, so you have to behave well!
【Scene reconstruction】
One day, Xiao Wu, the manager of the financial department, took a stack of thick documents to report to the general manager on the work of this month.When he walked into the office, the general manager was busy reviewing documents.
The general manager looked up at him and motioned him to sit down for a while.Xiao Wu sat on the sofa next to him, flipping through the documents in his hand involuntarily.The general manager squinted at him and continued to review the documents.
After a while, the general manager called Xiao Wu to hand over his documents.Xiao Wu immediately handed over the document, and then stood beside him respectfully.
"How much does the company earn this month?" The general manager flipped through the documents and asked without looking up.
"More than 120.5 million yuan." Xiao Wu replied in a very loud voice, quite proud.
Hearing Xiao Wu Hongliang's reply, the general manager involuntarily raised his right eyebrow.However, he quickly returned to normal, and asked in a very calm tone: "Oh, how much is the company spending this month?"
Xiao Wu noticed the general manager's raised right eyebrow many times, but he didn't care too much.This time was no exception, and he still replied loudly: "More than 51.6 yuan."
Hearing Xiao Wu's answer, the general manager raised his right eyebrow again, but he still said without changing his face: "Well, not bad! Keep working hard! Hope to achieve better results next month."
Xiao Wu thought that the general manager was encouraging him, so he was very happy, so he returned to his office happily.However, what he didn't expect was that when he went to work the next day, he received a notice of dismissal.
Xiao Wu was very unconvinced and wanted to ask the general manager for an explanation.However, he was stopped by the assistant general manager.The assistant to the general manager said angrily: "You really don't know anything. The general manager has suspected you for a long time, and he has been sending people to investigate you secretly. After investigation, it was found that every time you reported accounts, there were discrepancies with the actual accounts. "
Xiao Wu suddenly sat down on the ground.
As you work hard in the workplace, have you ever noticed that your boss raised his right eyebrow involuntarily?Raising both eyebrows expresses joy, but what does raising the right eyebrow mean?
[expert answering doubts]
American social psychologist Lynn Klassen has used a large number of related experiments to investigate the relationship between a person's personality and facial expressions.He found it difficult to hide or alter the subtle changes in the face that most reveal what a person is thinking.Therefore, he believes that eyebrows can best reveal a person's inner voice.
Yes, the eyes are the windows to the soul.On a human face, the eyebrows are the closest and most closely related to the eyes.Therefore, some people cleverly call eyebrows "the window frame of the soul".Therefore, in real life, if we pay attention to observation, we can see the changes in eyebrows due to emotional fluctuations.For example, when a person is calm, the eyebrows are basically horizontal; when a person is happy, the eyebrows will be raised because of the joy; when a person is irritable, the eyebrows will be wrinkled...
Although Xiao Wu in the story noticed the change of the general manager's eyebrow, unfortunately, he didn't understand the meaning of raising the right eyebrow.In fact, raising the right eyebrow conveys a message somewhere between raised eyebrows and lowered eyebrows, neither elation nor depression, which shows that he is skeptical of what you say and doesn't really believe you.
If Xiao Wu in the story had interpreted the meaning of the general manager raising his right eyebrow and found out earlier that the general manager had doubted himself, maybe he could have stopped his behavior in time and would not be fired by the general manager in the end.
[Extended reading]
Raise your eyebrows
When a person's eyebrows are raised, it indicates great joy or extreme surprise.When the single eyebrow is raised, it means that you don't understand or have doubts about what others say or do.
frown
Frown situations include both defensive and aggressive situations.A protective frown just protects the eyes from external damage.But frowning is not enough, the cheeks under the eyes need to be squeezed up, the eyes are still open to pay attention to the outside world.This form of squeezing up and down is a typical avoidance response when facing external attacks, sudden exposure to strong light, and strong emotional reactions.
As for the aggressive frown, the basic point is still defensive, it is worried that one's aggressive emotions will arouse the opponent's counterattack, which is related to self-defense.The truly aggressive gaze should be staring straight in the eye without frowning.The most common frown is often interpreted as boredom, disgust, disagreement, etc.
耸眉
Shrugging refers to raising the eyebrows first, staying there for a while, and then lowering them.The difference between shrugging eyebrows and flickering eyebrows is in that moment.The eyebrow shrug is often accompanied by a quick and brief twitch of the mouth, with no movement in the rest of the face.Sometimes it expresses a kind of unpleasant surprise, sometimes it expresses a kind of helplessness.
斜挑
A slanted eyebrow means that one of the two eyebrows is lowered downwards and the other is raised upwards. This kind of silent language is often seen on the faces of adult men.The message conveyed by slanted eyebrows is between raising eyebrows and frowning, half of the face looks excited, and half of the face looks scared.The raised eyebrow is like a question mark, reflecting the skeptical psychology of the person with slanted eyebrows.
闪动
Eyebrow flickering means that the eyebrows rise first and then fall again in an instant, like a shooting star across the sky, with quick movements.The flickering of the eyebrows is a common welcome signal for humans all over the world, and it is an act of friendliness.
In addition to being a signal of welcome, eyebrow flashing can signal reinforcement if it occurs in a conversation.Whenever the speaker wants to emphasize a certain word, the eyebrows will naturally raise and fall down instantly.
3.When a boss talks to a subordinate, he doesn't look at the other person to show that he is contemptuous of the other person
Q Jun: I am a new employee who has just joined the company. I found that when my boss talks to me, he doesn’t look at me at all. Why?
Professionals in the workplace: When the boss talks to his subordinates, he doesn't look up or look at people. This is a bad sign.This mostly means that the boss despises the subordinate and thinks the person is incompetent.
【Scene reconstruction】
Li Lin is a newly recruited market promoter.Due to his hard work, after the trial period, he signed two orders.Therefore, under the strong recommendation of his direct leader Wang Ming, he was promoted to be the head of the department, in charge of more than 20 employees.
Li Linzhen's so-called smooth sailing, after being promoted, he signed three more contracts, which is unprecedented in the company's history.Therefore, the employees in the company all look up to him and admire him, and even his direct leaders are courteous to him.Amidst everyone's flattery, Li Lin's pride gradually grew.Slowly, he became arrogant and arrogant.
The general manager looked down on the kind of proud and complacent people the most, so he talked to Li Lin.Li Lin didn't know all this, and thought that the general manager wanted to reward him.
When Li Lin walked into the general manager's office with his head held high, the general manager frowned involuntarily.However, he still politely greeted Li Lin to sit down.
After Li Lin sat down, the general manager tidied up the documents on the desk and said: "I came to you today mainly to talk to you about work. Your personal achievements are very good, but your The achievements of the team are very inferior. If you have time, communicate with your subordinates more, pass on some experience to them, and try to improve the work efficiency of the entire team."
Hearing the general manager's affirmation of his work performance, Li Lin was overjoyed, with an even more haughty expression on his face, and said arrogantly: "I know what the general manager said! But to improve the performance of a team Productivity is not something I can do alone, it takes quite a long time."
The general manager squinted at Li Lin, then quickly turned his gaze back to the computer.After a while, he said somewhat far-fetchedly: "Work hard, as long as you do well, the company will not treat you badly. If the marketing manager can be like you, then our company has hope."
"I will definitely not disappoint the general manager's expectations." After Li Lin finished speaking, he walked out of the general manager's office happily.However, half a month later, the company recruited a new supervisor, and Li Lin returned to the position of market promoter.
Have you encountered such a leader in the workplace?
[expert answering doubts]
After reading the above story, we found that Li Lin in the story not only lost his own pride, but also failed to understand the secret behind the general manager's micro-reaction.In fact, as long as Li Lin pays a little attention, he can find some clues.Although the general manager talked about praising Li Lin, he kept his head in sorting out the documents and did not look at Li Lin when he spoke.When a boss talks to a subordinate, not looking at the other person shows that he is contemptuous of the subordinate.
Eyes are the windows of a person's soul. When the boss talks to his subordinates, the position where the boss looks at the subordinates has a lot of meaning.For example, when speaking, not looking up at the person shows contempt; staring at the subordinate for a long time means that he is waiting for more information; looking at the subordinate friendly and frankly, or winking at the subordinate, shows that he appreciates the subordinate's ability ...
When the general manager in the story did not look up at Li Lin when he was talking to him, it was not because he looked down on his ability, but because he looked down on his pride and complacency.If Li Lin understood the meaning behind the action of the general manager, then maybe he could change his fate of being demoted.
In the workplace, if you notice your boss’s behavior, don’t worry, but calm down and think about whether your boss looks down on you or your ability to work.If you look down on yourself, you should strengthen your personal cultivation; if you underestimate your ability, you should work hard to impress your boss.
From the above story, we have summed up a workplace experience: When talking to your boss, pay more attention to the other person's eyes.Look for useful information from the way he looks at himself.
[Extended reading]
When the boss and the subordinate speak, they gaze in different directions and reflect different attitudes.Watch carefully and you can get very valuable information!
don't look up at people
When the boss talks to his subordinates, if he does not look up at each other, then he is belittling the subordinate, looking down on him, and thinking that he is incompetent.
see people from the bottom up
Bosses look at people from the bottom up when talking to their subordinates.This is a manifestation of superiority, and it also shows that the boss prefers to dominate people.
stare at subordinates for a long time
When the boss talks to the subordinate, if the boss stares at the subordinate for a long time, it means that the boss has an incomplete impression of the subordinate and is waiting for the subordinate to provide more information.
Occasionally look at subordinates
When the boss talks to the subordinate, he occasionally looks up at the subordinate, and then looks down after meeting the subordinate's eyes.If you do this many times, it shows that the boss does not fully understand the subordinate.
4.Boss pats subordinate on shoulder from side to show encouragement
Mr. Q: Yesterday, after I reported my work to the leader, he kindly patted me on the shoulder from the side, which made me tremble.Why did the boss pat me on the shoulder from the side?
Professional in the workplace: The boss pats you on the shoulder from the side to express confidence that you will do it, and encourages you to keep working hard!This is a good thing, why are you still frowning?
【Scene reconstruction】
One day, Xiao Wang, the director of insurance sales, happily came to the manager's office and reported the work performance of the previous quarter to the manager.Due to their poor work performance last year, the manager did not have much hope for their group members.Therefore, the manager smoked a cigarette, exhaled smoke rings, and called Xiao Wang, the insurance sales director, to sit down.
"How was the sales performance last quarter?" the manager asked seriously.
"The sales performance in the last quarter was very good. Not only did we maintain old customers, but we also developed 25 new customers. At present, 20 orders have been signed, and the profit has increased by 15% compared with the same period last year." Xiao Wang, the sales director, said every word said.
"How much did you spend last quarter?" The manager didn't show any surprise, but calmly asked about last month's spending.
"Last quarter, our team spent a total of 41000 yuan, 3000 yuan less than the same period last year, and 10000 yuan less than the budget." Xiao Wang said proudly, but when he met the manager's serious eyes, he immediately stopped.
The manager didn't say anything, stood up, went around the desk, came to the side of Xiao Wang, the sales director, patted him on the shoulder lightly, and said, "Okay, I see, you can go to work!"
Walking out of the manager's office, Xiao Wang, the sales director, was very puzzled. He originally thought that the manager would reward him and the members of their group.Unexpectedly, the manager didn't say anything.
In the following period of time, Xiao Wang was always aggrieved, and his work was greatly affected.Soon, another quarter passed, and when the manager saw him, he sighed and said, "I thought you would do better this quarter, and I plan to promote you to be a sales manager!"
Xiao Wang's eyes widened, but he couldn't say anything.
You have made work performance, and you look forward to your boss encouraging you and praising you.However, to your disappointment, the boss didn't say anything, but just patted you on the shoulder from the side, did the boss really say nothing?
[expert answering doubts]
An important internal meaning of the shoulder is to bear weight. Therefore, the boss pats the subordinate's shoulder from the side not only to convey the closeness and friendliness of the boss, but also to convey a kind of spiritual power of "I believe you can do it", which serves as motivation, The role of encouragement makes subordinates feel the sincere blessing and ardent expectation of the leader, and stimulates the subordinates' pioneering, innovative and enterprising work spirit.
Did the boss in the story really say nothing?He did not say any words of encouragement or praise, but he patted Xiao Wang's shoulder lightly from the side to express his affirmation and encouragement to Xiao Wang, the sales director.Xiao Wang felt depressed because he didn't understand the meaning of the manager's pat on the shoulder.
In fact, to express encouragement and praise to others, it is not necessary to say loudly, "Work hard! Come on! I believe you will do it"!Sometimes you can express that you are encouraging and praising him by patting him on the shoulder or back from the side, applauding him with both hands, or giving him a thumbs up.It will be more inspiring if the other person understands the meaning of these physical movements.
For leaders, in office situations, they are reluctant to say words of encouragement and praise aloud, and they prefer to pat their subordinates' shoulders and backs from the side to show encouragement.As a subordinate, only by understanding the body language of the boss can he know when the leader is encouraging himself, so that he will not be self-defeating like Xiao Wang in the story.
[Extended reading]
Body language expressing encouragement and affirmation goes far beyond patting the shoulder from the side. Here is a brief summary for your reference:
pat on the shoulder from the side
One of the inherent meanings of shoulders is to bear weight. Therefore, patting shoulders can not only convey your closeness and friendly kindness, but also convey a spiritual power of "I believe in you".
pat on the back from the side
In daily life, when many male friends meet, one can't help but pat each other's back with his palm.This is an expression of friendliness, joy and congratulations.Pay attention to pats on the back between opposite sexes, which may cause unnecessary misunderstandings.
thumbs up
In daily life, thumbs up means "well done" and "good", and encourages the other party to keep working hard!
applaud
Applause means approval or welcome, mostly to praise someone.When we welcome someone, we all involuntarily applaud.
5.Clamping fingers together shows that it is suppressing inner dissatisfaction
Q Jun: During the summary meeting, I found that the general manager's ten fingers were clamped together and placed on the desk with a very serious expression. He seemed to be suppressing something?
Professional in the workplace: You are really right, crossing ten fingers together means that they are suppressing their inner dissatisfaction.You have to find out the reason for his dissatisfaction, but don't hit the muzzle.
【Scene reconstruction】
A sales quarter has passed, and the general manager organizes a summary meeting for all the staff in the sales department.He first summarized the company's sales performance and sales profit in the last quarter, highly praised the achievements of the sales department in the last quarter, and gave bonuses to the "sales champions" on the spot.
After a burst of applause, the general manager calmed down, sat firmly in the center of the rostrum, clamped his ten fingers together, put them on the table and said very seriously: "Although we have achieved certain results in sales, But we still have many deficiencies. For example, the travel expenses in the first two months of this sales season exceeded the budget, and compared with the same period, it increased by more than 40%. We should pay attention to controlling it in the future. Also, although our The sales are high, but the profit has dropped by three percentage points. As far as I know, someone privately discounted the customer too low. I hope that this kind of thing will not happen again in the future. In the next sales quarter, I hope to pass Our efforts have been able to make up for lost sales this quarter..."
While listening, the sales executive was thinking about how to increase sales in the next quarter, without noticing the special actions made by the general manager.After some thought, he quickly drew up a new marketing plan.After the summary meeting is over, it is handed over to the general manager.The general manager looked at it and expressed satisfaction.
Time passed, and another sales season passed.This time, the sales profit has risen sharply, which not only made up for the loss of the previous sales quarter, but also overfulfilled the task.However, not only was travel expenses not under control, but it went up and exceeded the budget by 10%.
When the sales executive submitted the report, the general manager looked at it, his face gradually became serious, and he assumed the posture of the last meeting, with a stiff expression on his face, and the ten fingers of both hands were clamped tightly together: "this What happened to the travel expenses? Can you not control such a small matter? From next month, the travel subsidy will be cancelled! You can go out."
The sales supervisor "Monk Zhanger couldn't figure it out", he thought as he walked: What's wrong with the general manager?In the past, our travel expenses were often overspending, and we never said anything. Why did we make such a big fuss today?
In the workplace, do you also encounter situations where your boss gets angry at you? What's going on!
[expert answering doubts]
Faced with the stormy anger of the boss, any employee feels that "monk Zhang Er can't figure it out".When I feel unconvinced, I often blame my boss for being unreasonable and moody.
In fact, everyone has a temper.As subordinates, we can't blame the boss. If we want to blame, we can only blame ourselves for only listening to what the boss said, but not carefully observing the true thoughts expressed by the boss's body language.Although the general manager in the story praised the sales department in a big way at the last summary meeting, when he mentioned that the travel expenses exceeded the budget, he crossed his fingers together.This action shows that the general manager is trying to suppress his inner dissatisfaction.However, the sales executive, who was busy with work, did not notice the general manager's action at all, and still worked out a new marketing plan in his own way.Although he has achieved certain results, he has ignored what the general manager emphasized.In the next quarter, the general manager's anger has accumulated to a limit. When he sees that the situation he forbears reappears, and even continues unabated, he will inevitably lose his temper.
There are some studies showing that gestures can reflect a person's emotions.When a person is impassioned, he dances; when he is filled with righteous indignation, he clenches his fists.Therefore, in communicating with your boss, in addition to listening carefully to what your boss says, you should also pay attention to his gestures, and find out people's true thoughts from his gestures.Only by clarifying the true thoughts of the boss can we effectively avoid getting angry and everyone can work happily.
[Extended reading]
Sign language is a very expressive body language, which can make up for the lack of expression in spoken language and facial expressions.When communicating with your boss, do you know what the gestures he makes in the office mean?
hold hands together behind your back
Some bosses always like to clasp their hands behind their backs when checking the work of their subordinates.This posture creates a sense of authority and confidence.
Put your hands behind your back and grab the wrist of the other with one hand
Some leaders like to put their hands behind their backs and hold the wrist of the other hand with one hand when facing their subordinates.This action shows that he is full of frustration or anger inside, hoping to use this action to regain control.
Rub your palms
Some leaders like to rub their palms together when they speak.According to the research of behavioral psychologists, the rubbing of two palms conveys a kind of good hope. For example, when the boss announces that the company's profit has exceeded several million, he rubs his palms involuntarily, which means that he is very happy.In another situation, if the boss can't decide on something, he will rub his hands together, which means he is hesitant.When rubbing hands, a little thinking from the perspective of the boss will make it clear that rubbing hands in different situations represents different meanings.
6.The boss who often turns the pen with his hand is nervous
Q Jun: It is said that the leader is very busy at work every day, but my boss often likes to turn the pen with his hand. Is he bored? Is this a way to pass the boring time?
Professionals in the workplace: Bosses who often turn pens by hand are not boring.They are usually used to this action, so they will habitually repeat this action unconsciously, and by doing this action attentively, they can calm down their nervous mind a little.
【Scene reconstruction】
Lu Haoyu is the assistant to the general manager. He often follows the general manager and is in charge of the general manager's affairs.Sometimes he pours tea and water for the general manager, sometimes he meets clients with the general manager, and sometimes he writes speeches for the general manager... He works rigorously and earnestly, which is appreciated by the general manager, but he does not understand behavioral psychology, let alone Know how your body language conveys your true feelings.Therefore, it was self-defeating and missed the position of assistant to the general manager.
Lu Haoyu stayed by the general manager's side every day, and he often saw the general manager turning pens with his hands. He thought the general manager had formed such a habit and didn't pay much attention to it.However, one day, he accompanied the general manager to meet a very important client.At the negotiating table, the general manager picked up the pen on the table and started to spin it again.
Lu Haoyu, who was standing aside, saw the general manager's habitual action, and immediately became anxious.He stood there sweating profusely, because he felt that the general manager's actions would leave a bad impression on the customers, and he might lose the order.After thinking about it, he decided to bend down to remind the general manager.
Upon hearing this, the general manager immediately put away the pen.However, when he stopped turning the pen, the general manager realized how nervous he was.After a while, he was also sweating profusely.The customer was a little puzzled, he didn't know why the general manager was so anxious all of a sudden, and he began to wonder if they had some ulterior secrets.So he pretended to be kind and said: "Do you have something urgent? If there is something urgent, let's talk about it another day!"
The general manager was well aware of the importance of this customer, so he tried his best to redeem him: "I have nothing to do, we can continue talking."
The customer said disapprovingly: "Seeing that you are sweating profusely, let's talk about it next time!" After speaking, the customer got up and left.The general manager and Lu Haoyu stood in place, staring blankly at the background of the customer's departure.
"General manager, please sit down for a while!" Lu Haoyu came back to his senses and comforted the general manager.
"What are you doing, go back! I'll talk about clients in the future, so don't follow me anymore." After the general manager finished speaking, he walked out angrily, leaving Lu Haoyu with a stunned expression on his face.
Looking at the back of the general manager leaving, Lu Haoyu couldn't figure out what he did wrong. Is it wrong to remind him not to turn the pen?
When talking about clients, Lu Haoyu kindly reminded him, is it really wrong?Have you ever made this kind of self-defeating mistake in the workplace?
[expert answering doubts]
There is nothing wrong with Lu Haoyu reminding his boss, this is the essential job of an assistant to the general manager.However, he didn't understand the true feelings hidden behind the pen turning.As a result, it was self-defeating.
In the workplace, if you observe your boss carefully, you will find that they are holding a pen around in their hands when they are in the company's internal meetings or even negotiating with customers.Some people may ask: why is this?Is it because they are bored?
In fact, the boss turning the pen with his hand is a psychological activity that only he himself knows.He did this not to pass the boring time, but to cover up his inner tension by turning the pen with his hand.and let it settle down a bit.The general manager in the story is well aware of the importance of this signing, and his inner tension is no less than that of his assistant Lu Haoyu.In order to make the negotiation proceed normally, he had to hide his nervousness by turning the pen.However, Lu Haoyu's kind reminder made him realize that doing so would make customers feel impolite, so he subconsciously controlled his hands.However, the nervousness is not eliminated, and it cannot be masked, so the nervousness is exposed.It is also conceivable that they broke up unhappy in the end.
If Lu Haoyu had understood that the boss changed the pen to cover up his nervousness, maybe he would not have made such a suggestion, and maybe he would have signed the order smoothly.
[Extended reading]
The boss uses the action of turning the pen to cover up his inner tension, but turning different types of pens also reflects the different psychology of the boss!
transfer mechanical pencil
When the refill of the mechanical pencil is used up, a new refill will come out next, and the thickness will always remain the same.Since the pencil can be modified repeatedly, it can be erased and rewritten if it is written incorrectly.Therefore, most of the bosses who like to turn mechanical pencils lack decisiveness, are indecisive, and are often in entangled troubles.
turn premium fountain pen
The downside of the pen is that it runs out of ink and has to be refilled a lot, but they don't mind the downside of the pen.Therefore, the boss who likes to play with the pen is not afraid of difficulties or a little stubborn.
7.It is a negative signal when the boss takes off his glasses and throws them aside
Mr. Q: Today, I handed in a planning copy to the general manager. After he read it, he didn't say anything. He just took off his glasses, folded them up, and threw them aside.Is his action a negative signal?Why not say anything?
Professional in the workplace: Taking off your glasses and throwing them aside is a negative signal. When you see a leader making this move, be prepared to defend yourself.
【Scene reconstruction】
Dong Xiang is a planner of a company with outstanding literary talents, and is appreciated and valued by the general manager Wang.Mr. Wang has a pair of glasses on his nose, full of bookishness, and looks even more approachable.
Once, the general manager consciously conveyed such a message to Dong Xiang: Chinese New Year is approaching, as long as Dong Xiang plans a planning plan that satisfies the company, he is likely to be promoted to the planning supervisor.
Dong Xiang was very happy to hear the news, and thanked the general manager again and again.Dong Xiang cherished this opportunity very much. In order to get the approval of the general manager, he made the annual planning plan overnight and revised it several times.
On this day, Dong Xiang confidently handed over the plan he had planned to the general manager.When the general manager just took over the copywriting, there was an expression of appreciation on his face, but after a while, the general manager frowned involuntarily.After reading it, the general manager gently placed the proposal on the table, took off the glasses from the bridge of his nose, folded them, and threw them aside.After a while, the general manager said: "You go out first, I will show it to the chairman later." Dong Xiang walked out of the general manager's office, still with a confident smile on his face.
The Chinese New Year is approaching in a blink of an eye. At the annual meeting, to Dong Xiang's surprise, his colleague Xiao Li was promoted to be the planning supervisor.Dong Xiang asked the general manager in bewilderment, "What's going on?"
The general manager said angrily, "I really don't know what you did. The plan for this year's meeting is so important. How did you write such a plan?"
"My plan?" Dong Xiang ran back to the office immediately after hearing this.Looking through the folder carefully, I found that the plan I had revised was actually placed there.It turned out that the plan he submitted was just his first draft.
In the workplace, have you ever noticed the behavior of the leader taking off his glasses and throwing them aside? If you have noticed, then you should understand that this is a negative signal.If you notice the behavior and don't understand what it means, it's your loss.
[expert answering doubts]
Glasses are put on the bridge of the nose, which not only adds a bit of bookishness to people, but also a "magic weapon" for people to delay time.Put the glasses back on after wiping them, and pick up relevant materials to show that he is thinking about it; fold the glasses and put them aside, and lean his back on the chair to show that he wants to end the conversation; fold the glasses and throw them aside is negative signal.
However, many people in the workplace tend to ignore these actions of their bosses.If you have a little understanding of behavioral psychology, you can find that there are many articles in these small actions of your boss.He folded up the glasses and threw them aside. This action of throwing directly reflected the anxiety and displeasure of the other party.What he was about to express was definitely a negative opinion.
If Dong Xiang in the story has a little understanding of behavioral psychology, when he sees the general manager fold up his glasses and throw them aside, he should understand that this is a negative signal.If he knows that the general manager has a negative attitude towards his copy, maybe he can find out from the general manager's negative attitude that he has taken the wrong copy, and then he still has a chance to save it.Unfortunately, however, he didn't understand behavioral psychology at all, and ultimately missed out on this promotion.
The above story tells us: step by step there is a coup, read the body language of the boss, and seize the opportunity of promotion.
[Extended reading]
The different actions of people wearing and taking glasses represent different meanings. Let’s take a look together:
People who bite the legs of their glasses between their lips long for a sense of security
We often see some glasses wearers biting the temples of their glasses in their mouths. This action has the same meaning as holding a cigarette or biting a pen, and it expresses a desire for security.
Put the glasses back on after wiping them down and pick up the relevant materials to show that they are considering
Suppose a person puts the glasses back on after wiping them and picks up the relevant materials on the table.This continuous action shows that the other party wants to continue to check the details and is considering how to respond appropriately.
Folds glasses away and leans back in chair to indicate wanting to end conversation
Suppose a person folds up his glasses and puts them aside while leaning his back on a chair.At this point, what he wants to tell you is that he wants to end the conversation.At this time, you can only scratch the surface if you have further debate.
Folding up glasses and throwing them aside is a negative sign
If a person folds up his glasses and throws them directly on the table next to him, this throwing action directly reflects the anxiety and displeasure of the other party, and what he wants to express must be a negative opinion.So, you need to be prepared to defend yourself.
chapter summary:
1.boss who nods frequently
A person nods his head in the affirmative, but nodding too often means he's getting impatient and is just trying to put you off.When you see the other person nodding frequently, you might as well stop there.
2.Boss raising right eyebrow
A raised right eyebrow shows that your boss doesn't believe what you're saying.This shows that your boss is skeptical of you.If you want to gain the trust of your boss, you still need to work hard.
3.A supervisor who does not look at a subordinate while speaking
When the boss talks to his subordinates, he doesn't look up or look at people.This shows that the boss looks down on the subordinate and thinks he is incompetent.
4.Boss slapping subordinate on shoulder from side
The boss pats you on the shoulder from the side to express his belief that you will do it, and encourages you to keep working hard!It is worth noting that you should not be complacent, but should work hard in a down-to-earth manner.
5.Boss with fingers clasped
The boss clamps ten fingers together, indicating that he is suppressing inner dissatisfaction.Discover the dissatisfaction in his heart in time, try to help him eliminate the dissatisfaction, and avoid hitting the gun.
6.The boss who often turns the pen by hand
The boss is not passing the boring time by turning the pen with his hand, but to cover up his inner tension by turning the pen with his hand.When you see the boss's action, just understand it, and don't try to stop the boss from turning the pen with his hand.
7.The boss who took off his glasses and threw them aside
The boss took off his glasses and threw them aside, which directly reflected the anxiety and displeasure of the other party.When you see this action from your boss, you should conduct self-reflection in time.
(End of this chapter)
In the workplace, the relationship between subordinates and superiors is very delicate.The boss not only has to give orders, but also often "talks too much", always hesitates to say something that is difficult to explain.As a subordinate, if you want to advance step by step, you need to cultivate a keen sense of smell, be good at interpreting the boss's "micro-reactions", and grasp the boss's true intentions.Only in this way can you clear the way for yourself on the road to promotion.
1.The boss nods frequently to show that he is very impatient
Q Jun: I really don’t understand why the general manager always nods frequently when talking to me?
Professionals in the workplace: A person nods his head in affirmation, but nodding too often means that he has become impatient!
【Scene reconstruction】
On the last day of the month, Manager Wang from the HR Department walked into the general manager's office with a stack of documents.As he walked, he flipped through the documents, without noticing that the general manager was tidying up the drawers and was about to leave.
"Mr. Li, do you have time now? I just finished finishing the report, and now I want to report to you the basic situation of the company this month." Manager Wang said bluntly as he walked into the office.
The general manager sat up straight, nodded and said, "Well, yes, you can tell me!"
"The situation in the company is very bad this month. Xiaoli, the administrative clerk, has resigned. There is not enough manpower, and some reports have not been sorted out. I think we should recruit a clerk as soon as possible to take over Xiaoli's job."
The general manager lowered his head and thought for a while, then reached out to take the report that Manager Wang handed over, and read it carefully.When the general manager buried himself in the report, Manager Wang still chattered and said: "The company's punch card machine is not very easy to use, I want to change to a fingerprint recognition machine."
The general manager kept looking at the report, but nodded his head several times frequently.When Manager Wang saw the general manager nodding his head frequently and was secretly rejoicing, the general manager handed him the report and said in a slightly angry tone: "Show me the report after it is completely sorted out. For other things, wait until next month." Let's talk." After finishing speaking, he walked out of the office.
Manager Wang was stunned in the office, a little confused.Soon, a month passed, and the general manager never brought up the company's recruitment of clerks and purchase of fingerprint punching machines, but from time to time he accused him of not completing his work well enough.This made Manager Wang of the HR department extremely depressed.
Everyone knows that nodding means yes.However, will nodding mean different things because of different situations, occasions or different times?
[expert answering doubts]
In fact, nodding represents different meanings in different situations, and different times of nodding have different meanings.In the workplace, many young people have encountered such a situation: the boss clearly nodded and promised to do something, but never realized it.Why is this?Is it really the boss who contradicts what he says and does what he says?
From the above story, we found that it was not the boss who turned his back on what he said, but that Manager Wang of the HR Department did not understand the secret behind the boss's "micro-reaction".After reading the story carefully, we found that there are three points in the story that focus on the nodding of the general manager. The first time he nods, he naturally expresses agreement and permission, but the second nod is obviously perfunctory to Manager Wang, but Manager Wang did not Realized, still chattering.When Manager Wang put forward his request again, the general manager was already very impatient.That's why there were frequent nodding movements, but Manager Wang didn't understand what it meant.While he was secretly rejoicing, the general manager couldn't take it anymore, handed him the report angrily, and walked out of the office alone, leaving a stunned Manager Wang in the office.
The failure of Manager Wang is that he did not understand the secret behind the boss's "micro-reaction", and did not understand the true meaning of the general manager's frequent nodding.Therefore, from the above story, we can draw a conclusion: In order to get promoted in the workplace, in addition to doing a good job, you must also understand a little behavioral psychology and understand the secrets behind the boss's "micro-response". Make a conclusion after fully understanding the psychological state of the boss.
So how to interpret the secret behind the boss's "micro-reaction"?This requires us to cultivate a keen sense of smell.
When we ask our superiors for their opinions, if we want to know whether the other party really agrees, for example, when Manager Wang in the story asked Mr. Observe carefully when he answers, whether the natural movement of the head at this moment is consistent with his answer.
If a person agrees, accepts, and agrees from the heart, and his attitude is affirmative, accompanied by a slight nod, then he can trust his answer at this time.On the contrary, if he agreed to you verbally, but didn't nod, just lowered his head slightly, or even showed signs of shaking his head, then he agreed to you is duplicity.Because his body language has exposed his inner world.If you observe carefully, it is not difficult to find the mystery.
[Extended reading]
However, it is worth noting that in different situations, different times of nodding express different meanings, let's take a look together:
nod your head in affirmation
Once, a behavioral psychologist conducted research on congenitally blind, deaf, and dumb people, and found that they also nodded in affirmation.Therefore, a "nodding innate theory" is derived.This point of view applies everywhere in the world, and nodding means "yes", that is, an affirmative attitude.Of course, there are individual exceptions.For example, some people have to nod when they are forced to agree.A nod here does not mean agreement.
frequent nodding to express impatience
Behavioral psychology has found through research that if in a conversation between two people, if one person nods too frequently, for example, for a sentence said by the other party, a point of view expounded, like the general manager in the story, nodding frequently, more than three times, Then it probably no longer means that he agrees or agrees with this person's point of view, but shows his impatience and negation, which is probably just perfunctory to the other party.
The action of nodding does not match the situation of the conversation, which means that the other party is not listening to you carefully
For example, when a subordinate is reporting work to his boss, the leader looks at the computer.After the subordinates finished reporting, the leader did not give any reply.After a while, he nodded in a panic and said "yes".In a situation like this, the leader did not listen carefully and attentively to his subordinates at all.Therefore, you must carefully observe the actions of your boss.
2.Raising right eyebrow to express skepticism of subordinate
Q Jun: One day, when I was reporting to the leader, why did he raise his right eyebrow?
Professional in the workplace: The boss raised his right eyebrow to show that he doesn't believe what you said. From this, it can be seen that the boss still doubts you very much, so you have to behave well!
【Scene reconstruction】
One day, Xiao Wu, the manager of the financial department, took a stack of thick documents to report to the general manager on the work of this month.When he walked into the office, the general manager was busy reviewing documents.
The general manager looked up at him and motioned him to sit down for a while.Xiao Wu sat on the sofa next to him, flipping through the documents in his hand involuntarily.The general manager squinted at him and continued to review the documents.
After a while, the general manager called Xiao Wu to hand over his documents.Xiao Wu immediately handed over the document, and then stood beside him respectfully.
"How much does the company earn this month?" The general manager flipped through the documents and asked without looking up.
"More than 120.5 million yuan." Xiao Wu replied in a very loud voice, quite proud.
Hearing Xiao Wu Hongliang's reply, the general manager involuntarily raised his right eyebrow.However, he quickly returned to normal, and asked in a very calm tone: "Oh, how much is the company spending this month?"
Xiao Wu noticed the general manager's raised right eyebrow many times, but he didn't care too much.This time was no exception, and he still replied loudly: "More than 51.6 yuan."
Hearing Xiao Wu's answer, the general manager raised his right eyebrow again, but he still said without changing his face: "Well, not bad! Keep working hard! Hope to achieve better results next month."
Xiao Wu thought that the general manager was encouraging him, so he was very happy, so he returned to his office happily.However, what he didn't expect was that when he went to work the next day, he received a notice of dismissal.
Xiao Wu was very unconvinced and wanted to ask the general manager for an explanation.However, he was stopped by the assistant general manager.The assistant to the general manager said angrily: "You really don't know anything. The general manager has suspected you for a long time, and he has been sending people to investigate you secretly. After investigation, it was found that every time you reported accounts, there were discrepancies with the actual accounts. "
Xiao Wu suddenly sat down on the ground.
As you work hard in the workplace, have you ever noticed that your boss raised his right eyebrow involuntarily?Raising both eyebrows expresses joy, but what does raising the right eyebrow mean?
[expert answering doubts]
American social psychologist Lynn Klassen has used a large number of related experiments to investigate the relationship between a person's personality and facial expressions.He found it difficult to hide or alter the subtle changes in the face that most reveal what a person is thinking.Therefore, he believes that eyebrows can best reveal a person's inner voice.
Yes, the eyes are the windows to the soul.On a human face, the eyebrows are the closest and most closely related to the eyes.Therefore, some people cleverly call eyebrows "the window frame of the soul".Therefore, in real life, if we pay attention to observation, we can see the changes in eyebrows due to emotional fluctuations.For example, when a person is calm, the eyebrows are basically horizontal; when a person is happy, the eyebrows will be raised because of the joy; when a person is irritable, the eyebrows will be wrinkled...
Although Xiao Wu in the story noticed the change of the general manager's eyebrow, unfortunately, he didn't understand the meaning of raising the right eyebrow.In fact, raising the right eyebrow conveys a message somewhere between raised eyebrows and lowered eyebrows, neither elation nor depression, which shows that he is skeptical of what you say and doesn't really believe you.
If Xiao Wu in the story had interpreted the meaning of the general manager raising his right eyebrow and found out earlier that the general manager had doubted himself, maybe he could have stopped his behavior in time and would not be fired by the general manager in the end.
[Extended reading]
Raise your eyebrows
When a person's eyebrows are raised, it indicates great joy or extreme surprise.When the single eyebrow is raised, it means that you don't understand or have doubts about what others say or do.
frown
Frown situations include both defensive and aggressive situations.A protective frown just protects the eyes from external damage.But frowning is not enough, the cheeks under the eyes need to be squeezed up, the eyes are still open to pay attention to the outside world.This form of squeezing up and down is a typical avoidance response when facing external attacks, sudden exposure to strong light, and strong emotional reactions.
As for the aggressive frown, the basic point is still defensive, it is worried that one's aggressive emotions will arouse the opponent's counterattack, which is related to self-defense.The truly aggressive gaze should be staring straight in the eye without frowning.The most common frown is often interpreted as boredom, disgust, disagreement, etc.
耸眉
Shrugging refers to raising the eyebrows first, staying there for a while, and then lowering them.The difference between shrugging eyebrows and flickering eyebrows is in that moment.The eyebrow shrug is often accompanied by a quick and brief twitch of the mouth, with no movement in the rest of the face.Sometimes it expresses a kind of unpleasant surprise, sometimes it expresses a kind of helplessness.
斜挑
A slanted eyebrow means that one of the two eyebrows is lowered downwards and the other is raised upwards. This kind of silent language is often seen on the faces of adult men.The message conveyed by slanted eyebrows is between raising eyebrows and frowning, half of the face looks excited, and half of the face looks scared.The raised eyebrow is like a question mark, reflecting the skeptical psychology of the person with slanted eyebrows.
闪动
Eyebrow flickering means that the eyebrows rise first and then fall again in an instant, like a shooting star across the sky, with quick movements.The flickering of the eyebrows is a common welcome signal for humans all over the world, and it is an act of friendliness.
In addition to being a signal of welcome, eyebrow flashing can signal reinforcement if it occurs in a conversation.Whenever the speaker wants to emphasize a certain word, the eyebrows will naturally raise and fall down instantly.
3.When a boss talks to a subordinate, he doesn't look at the other person to show that he is contemptuous of the other person
Q Jun: I am a new employee who has just joined the company. I found that when my boss talks to me, he doesn’t look at me at all. Why?
Professionals in the workplace: When the boss talks to his subordinates, he doesn't look up or look at people. This is a bad sign.This mostly means that the boss despises the subordinate and thinks the person is incompetent.
【Scene reconstruction】
Li Lin is a newly recruited market promoter.Due to his hard work, after the trial period, he signed two orders.Therefore, under the strong recommendation of his direct leader Wang Ming, he was promoted to be the head of the department, in charge of more than 20 employees.
Li Linzhen's so-called smooth sailing, after being promoted, he signed three more contracts, which is unprecedented in the company's history.Therefore, the employees in the company all look up to him and admire him, and even his direct leaders are courteous to him.Amidst everyone's flattery, Li Lin's pride gradually grew.Slowly, he became arrogant and arrogant.
The general manager looked down on the kind of proud and complacent people the most, so he talked to Li Lin.Li Lin didn't know all this, and thought that the general manager wanted to reward him.
When Li Lin walked into the general manager's office with his head held high, the general manager frowned involuntarily.However, he still politely greeted Li Lin to sit down.
After Li Lin sat down, the general manager tidied up the documents on the desk and said: "I came to you today mainly to talk to you about work. Your personal achievements are very good, but your The achievements of the team are very inferior. If you have time, communicate with your subordinates more, pass on some experience to them, and try to improve the work efficiency of the entire team."
Hearing the general manager's affirmation of his work performance, Li Lin was overjoyed, with an even more haughty expression on his face, and said arrogantly: "I know what the general manager said! But to improve the performance of a team Productivity is not something I can do alone, it takes quite a long time."
The general manager squinted at Li Lin, then quickly turned his gaze back to the computer.After a while, he said somewhat far-fetchedly: "Work hard, as long as you do well, the company will not treat you badly. If the marketing manager can be like you, then our company has hope."
"I will definitely not disappoint the general manager's expectations." After Li Lin finished speaking, he walked out of the general manager's office happily.However, half a month later, the company recruited a new supervisor, and Li Lin returned to the position of market promoter.
Have you encountered such a leader in the workplace?
[expert answering doubts]
After reading the above story, we found that Li Lin in the story not only lost his own pride, but also failed to understand the secret behind the general manager's micro-reaction.In fact, as long as Li Lin pays a little attention, he can find some clues.Although the general manager talked about praising Li Lin, he kept his head in sorting out the documents and did not look at Li Lin when he spoke.When a boss talks to a subordinate, not looking at the other person shows that he is contemptuous of the subordinate.
Eyes are the windows of a person's soul. When the boss talks to his subordinates, the position where the boss looks at the subordinates has a lot of meaning.For example, when speaking, not looking up at the person shows contempt; staring at the subordinate for a long time means that he is waiting for more information; looking at the subordinate friendly and frankly, or winking at the subordinate, shows that he appreciates the subordinate's ability ...
When the general manager in the story did not look up at Li Lin when he was talking to him, it was not because he looked down on his ability, but because he looked down on his pride and complacency.If Li Lin understood the meaning behind the action of the general manager, then maybe he could change his fate of being demoted.
In the workplace, if you notice your boss’s behavior, don’t worry, but calm down and think about whether your boss looks down on you or your ability to work.If you look down on yourself, you should strengthen your personal cultivation; if you underestimate your ability, you should work hard to impress your boss.
From the above story, we have summed up a workplace experience: When talking to your boss, pay more attention to the other person's eyes.Look for useful information from the way he looks at himself.
[Extended reading]
When the boss and the subordinate speak, they gaze in different directions and reflect different attitudes.Watch carefully and you can get very valuable information!
don't look up at people
When the boss talks to his subordinates, if he does not look up at each other, then he is belittling the subordinate, looking down on him, and thinking that he is incompetent.
see people from the bottom up
Bosses look at people from the bottom up when talking to their subordinates.This is a manifestation of superiority, and it also shows that the boss prefers to dominate people.
stare at subordinates for a long time
When the boss talks to the subordinate, if the boss stares at the subordinate for a long time, it means that the boss has an incomplete impression of the subordinate and is waiting for the subordinate to provide more information.
Occasionally look at subordinates
When the boss talks to the subordinate, he occasionally looks up at the subordinate, and then looks down after meeting the subordinate's eyes.If you do this many times, it shows that the boss does not fully understand the subordinate.
4.Boss pats subordinate on shoulder from side to show encouragement
Mr. Q: Yesterday, after I reported my work to the leader, he kindly patted me on the shoulder from the side, which made me tremble.Why did the boss pat me on the shoulder from the side?
Professional in the workplace: The boss pats you on the shoulder from the side to express confidence that you will do it, and encourages you to keep working hard!This is a good thing, why are you still frowning?
【Scene reconstruction】
One day, Xiao Wang, the director of insurance sales, happily came to the manager's office and reported the work performance of the previous quarter to the manager.Due to their poor work performance last year, the manager did not have much hope for their group members.Therefore, the manager smoked a cigarette, exhaled smoke rings, and called Xiao Wang, the insurance sales director, to sit down.
"How was the sales performance last quarter?" the manager asked seriously.
"The sales performance in the last quarter was very good. Not only did we maintain old customers, but we also developed 25 new customers. At present, 20 orders have been signed, and the profit has increased by 15% compared with the same period last year." Xiao Wang, the sales director, said every word said.
"How much did you spend last quarter?" The manager didn't show any surprise, but calmly asked about last month's spending.
"Last quarter, our team spent a total of 41000 yuan, 3000 yuan less than the same period last year, and 10000 yuan less than the budget." Xiao Wang said proudly, but when he met the manager's serious eyes, he immediately stopped.
The manager didn't say anything, stood up, went around the desk, came to the side of Xiao Wang, the sales director, patted him on the shoulder lightly, and said, "Okay, I see, you can go to work!"
Walking out of the manager's office, Xiao Wang, the sales director, was very puzzled. He originally thought that the manager would reward him and the members of their group.Unexpectedly, the manager didn't say anything.
In the following period of time, Xiao Wang was always aggrieved, and his work was greatly affected.Soon, another quarter passed, and when the manager saw him, he sighed and said, "I thought you would do better this quarter, and I plan to promote you to be a sales manager!"
Xiao Wang's eyes widened, but he couldn't say anything.
You have made work performance, and you look forward to your boss encouraging you and praising you.However, to your disappointment, the boss didn't say anything, but just patted you on the shoulder from the side, did the boss really say nothing?
[expert answering doubts]
An important internal meaning of the shoulder is to bear weight. Therefore, the boss pats the subordinate's shoulder from the side not only to convey the closeness and friendliness of the boss, but also to convey a kind of spiritual power of "I believe you can do it", which serves as motivation, The role of encouragement makes subordinates feel the sincere blessing and ardent expectation of the leader, and stimulates the subordinates' pioneering, innovative and enterprising work spirit.
Did the boss in the story really say nothing?He did not say any words of encouragement or praise, but he patted Xiao Wang's shoulder lightly from the side to express his affirmation and encouragement to Xiao Wang, the sales director.Xiao Wang felt depressed because he didn't understand the meaning of the manager's pat on the shoulder.
In fact, to express encouragement and praise to others, it is not necessary to say loudly, "Work hard! Come on! I believe you will do it"!Sometimes you can express that you are encouraging and praising him by patting him on the shoulder or back from the side, applauding him with both hands, or giving him a thumbs up.It will be more inspiring if the other person understands the meaning of these physical movements.
For leaders, in office situations, they are reluctant to say words of encouragement and praise aloud, and they prefer to pat their subordinates' shoulders and backs from the side to show encouragement.As a subordinate, only by understanding the body language of the boss can he know when the leader is encouraging himself, so that he will not be self-defeating like Xiao Wang in the story.
[Extended reading]
Body language expressing encouragement and affirmation goes far beyond patting the shoulder from the side. Here is a brief summary for your reference:
pat on the shoulder from the side
One of the inherent meanings of shoulders is to bear weight. Therefore, patting shoulders can not only convey your closeness and friendly kindness, but also convey a spiritual power of "I believe in you".
pat on the back from the side
In daily life, when many male friends meet, one can't help but pat each other's back with his palm.This is an expression of friendliness, joy and congratulations.Pay attention to pats on the back between opposite sexes, which may cause unnecessary misunderstandings.
thumbs up
In daily life, thumbs up means "well done" and "good", and encourages the other party to keep working hard!
applaud
Applause means approval or welcome, mostly to praise someone.When we welcome someone, we all involuntarily applaud.
5.Clamping fingers together shows that it is suppressing inner dissatisfaction
Q Jun: During the summary meeting, I found that the general manager's ten fingers were clamped together and placed on the desk with a very serious expression. He seemed to be suppressing something?
Professional in the workplace: You are really right, crossing ten fingers together means that they are suppressing their inner dissatisfaction.You have to find out the reason for his dissatisfaction, but don't hit the muzzle.
【Scene reconstruction】
A sales quarter has passed, and the general manager organizes a summary meeting for all the staff in the sales department.He first summarized the company's sales performance and sales profit in the last quarter, highly praised the achievements of the sales department in the last quarter, and gave bonuses to the "sales champions" on the spot.
After a burst of applause, the general manager calmed down, sat firmly in the center of the rostrum, clamped his ten fingers together, put them on the table and said very seriously: "Although we have achieved certain results in sales, But we still have many deficiencies. For example, the travel expenses in the first two months of this sales season exceeded the budget, and compared with the same period, it increased by more than 40%. We should pay attention to controlling it in the future. Also, although our The sales are high, but the profit has dropped by three percentage points. As far as I know, someone privately discounted the customer too low. I hope that this kind of thing will not happen again in the future. In the next sales quarter, I hope to pass Our efforts have been able to make up for lost sales this quarter..."
While listening, the sales executive was thinking about how to increase sales in the next quarter, without noticing the special actions made by the general manager.After some thought, he quickly drew up a new marketing plan.After the summary meeting is over, it is handed over to the general manager.The general manager looked at it and expressed satisfaction.
Time passed, and another sales season passed.This time, the sales profit has risen sharply, which not only made up for the loss of the previous sales quarter, but also overfulfilled the task.However, not only was travel expenses not under control, but it went up and exceeded the budget by 10%.
When the sales executive submitted the report, the general manager looked at it, his face gradually became serious, and he assumed the posture of the last meeting, with a stiff expression on his face, and the ten fingers of both hands were clamped tightly together: "this What happened to the travel expenses? Can you not control such a small matter? From next month, the travel subsidy will be cancelled! You can go out."
The sales supervisor "Monk Zhanger couldn't figure it out", he thought as he walked: What's wrong with the general manager?In the past, our travel expenses were often overspending, and we never said anything. Why did we make such a big fuss today?
In the workplace, do you also encounter situations where your boss gets angry at you? What's going on!
[expert answering doubts]
Faced with the stormy anger of the boss, any employee feels that "monk Zhang Er can't figure it out".When I feel unconvinced, I often blame my boss for being unreasonable and moody.
In fact, everyone has a temper.As subordinates, we can't blame the boss. If we want to blame, we can only blame ourselves for only listening to what the boss said, but not carefully observing the true thoughts expressed by the boss's body language.Although the general manager in the story praised the sales department in a big way at the last summary meeting, when he mentioned that the travel expenses exceeded the budget, he crossed his fingers together.This action shows that the general manager is trying to suppress his inner dissatisfaction.However, the sales executive, who was busy with work, did not notice the general manager's action at all, and still worked out a new marketing plan in his own way.Although he has achieved certain results, he has ignored what the general manager emphasized.In the next quarter, the general manager's anger has accumulated to a limit. When he sees that the situation he forbears reappears, and even continues unabated, he will inevitably lose his temper.
There are some studies showing that gestures can reflect a person's emotions.When a person is impassioned, he dances; when he is filled with righteous indignation, he clenches his fists.Therefore, in communicating with your boss, in addition to listening carefully to what your boss says, you should also pay attention to his gestures, and find out people's true thoughts from his gestures.Only by clarifying the true thoughts of the boss can we effectively avoid getting angry and everyone can work happily.
[Extended reading]
Sign language is a very expressive body language, which can make up for the lack of expression in spoken language and facial expressions.When communicating with your boss, do you know what the gestures he makes in the office mean?
hold hands together behind your back
Some bosses always like to clasp their hands behind their backs when checking the work of their subordinates.This posture creates a sense of authority and confidence.
Put your hands behind your back and grab the wrist of the other with one hand
Some leaders like to put their hands behind their backs and hold the wrist of the other hand with one hand when facing their subordinates.This action shows that he is full of frustration or anger inside, hoping to use this action to regain control.
Rub your palms
Some leaders like to rub their palms together when they speak.According to the research of behavioral psychologists, the rubbing of two palms conveys a kind of good hope. For example, when the boss announces that the company's profit has exceeded several million, he rubs his palms involuntarily, which means that he is very happy.In another situation, if the boss can't decide on something, he will rub his hands together, which means he is hesitant.When rubbing hands, a little thinking from the perspective of the boss will make it clear that rubbing hands in different situations represents different meanings.
6.The boss who often turns the pen with his hand is nervous
Q Jun: It is said that the leader is very busy at work every day, but my boss often likes to turn the pen with his hand. Is he bored? Is this a way to pass the boring time?
Professionals in the workplace: Bosses who often turn pens by hand are not boring.They are usually used to this action, so they will habitually repeat this action unconsciously, and by doing this action attentively, they can calm down their nervous mind a little.
【Scene reconstruction】
Lu Haoyu is the assistant to the general manager. He often follows the general manager and is in charge of the general manager's affairs.Sometimes he pours tea and water for the general manager, sometimes he meets clients with the general manager, and sometimes he writes speeches for the general manager... He works rigorously and earnestly, which is appreciated by the general manager, but he does not understand behavioral psychology, let alone Know how your body language conveys your true feelings.Therefore, it was self-defeating and missed the position of assistant to the general manager.
Lu Haoyu stayed by the general manager's side every day, and he often saw the general manager turning pens with his hands. He thought the general manager had formed such a habit and didn't pay much attention to it.However, one day, he accompanied the general manager to meet a very important client.At the negotiating table, the general manager picked up the pen on the table and started to spin it again.
Lu Haoyu, who was standing aside, saw the general manager's habitual action, and immediately became anxious.He stood there sweating profusely, because he felt that the general manager's actions would leave a bad impression on the customers, and he might lose the order.After thinking about it, he decided to bend down to remind the general manager.
Upon hearing this, the general manager immediately put away the pen.However, when he stopped turning the pen, the general manager realized how nervous he was.After a while, he was also sweating profusely.The customer was a little puzzled, he didn't know why the general manager was so anxious all of a sudden, and he began to wonder if they had some ulterior secrets.So he pretended to be kind and said: "Do you have something urgent? If there is something urgent, let's talk about it another day!"
The general manager was well aware of the importance of this customer, so he tried his best to redeem him: "I have nothing to do, we can continue talking."
The customer said disapprovingly: "Seeing that you are sweating profusely, let's talk about it next time!" After speaking, the customer got up and left.The general manager and Lu Haoyu stood in place, staring blankly at the background of the customer's departure.
"General manager, please sit down for a while!" Lu Haoyu came back to his senses and comforted the general manager.
"What are you doing, go back! I'll talk about clients in the future, so don't follow me anymore." After the general manager finished speaking, he walked out angrily, leaving Lu Haoyu with a stunned expression on his face.
Looking at the back of the general manager leaving, Lu Haoyu couldn't figure out what he did wrong. Is it wrong to remind him not to turn the pen?
When talking about clients, Lu Haoyu kindly reminded him, is it really wrong?Have you ever made this kind of self-defeating mistake in the workplace?
[expert answering doubts]
There is nothing wrong with Lu Haoyu reminding his boss, this is the essential job of an assistant to the general manager.However, he didn't understand the true feelings hidden behind the pen turning.As a result, it was self-defeating.
In the workplace, if you observe your boss carefully, you will find that they are holding a pen around in their hands when they are in the company's internal meetings or even negotiating with customers.Some people may ask: why is this?Is it because they are bored?
In fact, the boss turning the pen with his hand is a psychological activity that only he himself knows.He did this not to pass the boring time, but to cover up his inner tension by turning the pen with his hand.and let it settle down a bit.The general manager in the story is well aware of the importance of this signing, and his inner tension is no less than that of his assistant Lu Haoyu.In order to make the negotiation proceed normally, he had to hide his nervousness by turning the pen.However, Lu Haoyu's kind reminder made him realize that doing so would make customers feel impolite, so he subconsciously controlled his hands.However, the nervousness is not eliminated, and it cannot be masked, so the nervousness is exposed.It is also conceivable that they broke up unhappy in the end.
If Lu Haoyu had understood that the boss changed the pen to cover up his nervousness, maybe he would not have made such a suggestion, and maybe he would have signed the order smoothly.
[Extended reading]
The boss uses the action of turning the pen to cover up his inner tension, but turning different types of pens also reflects the different psychology of the boss!
transfer mechanical pencil
When the refill of the mechanical pencil is used up, a new refill will come out next, and the thickness will always remain the same.Since the pencil can be modified repeatedly, it can be erased and rewritten if it is written incorrectly.Therefore, most of the bosses who like to turn mechanical pencils lack decisiveness, are indecisive, and are often in entangled troubles.
turn premium fountain pen
The downside of the pen is that it runs out of ink and has to be refilled a lot, but they don't mind the downside of the pen.Therefore, the boss who likes to play with the pen is not afraid of difficulties or a little stubborn.
7.It is a negative signal when the boss takes off his glasses and throws them aside
Mr. Q: Today, I handed in a planning copy to the general manager. After he read it, he didn't say anything. He just took off his glasses, folded them up, and threw them aside.Is his action a negative signal?Why not say anything?
Professional in the workplace: Taking off your glasses and throwing them aside is a negative signal. When you see a leader making this move, be prepared to defend yourself.
【Scene reconstruction】
Dong Xiang is a planner of a company with outstanding literary talents, and is appreciated and valued by the general manager Wang.Mr. Wang has a pair of glasses on his nose, full of bookishness, and looks even more approachable.
Once, the general manager consciously conveyed such a message to Dong Xiang: Chinese New Year is approaching, as long as Dong Xiang plans a planning plan that satisfies the company, he is likely to be promoted to the planning supervisor.
Dong Xiang was very happy to hear the news, and thanked the general manager again and again.Dong Xiang cherished this opportunity very much. In order to get the approval of the general manager, he made the annual planning plan overnight and revised it several times.
On this day, Dong Xiang confidently handed over the plan he had planned to the general manager.When the general manager just took over the copywriting, there was an expression of appreciation on his face, but after a while, the general manager frowned involuntarily.After reading it, the general manager gently placed the proposal on the table, took off the glasses from the bridge of his nose, folded them, and threw them aside.After a while, the general manager said: "You go out first, I will show it to the chairman later." Dong Xiang walked out of the general manager's office, still with a confident smile on his face.
The Chinese New Year is approaching in a blink of an eye. At the annual meeting, to Dong Xiang's surprise, his colleague Xiao Li was promoted to be the planning supervisor.Dong Xiang asked the general manager in bewilderment, "What's going on?"
The general manager said angrily, "I really don't know what you did. The plan for this year's meeting is so important. How did you write such a plan?"
"My plan?" Dong Xiang ran back to the office immediately after hearing this.Looking through the folder carefully, I found that the plan I had revised was actually placed there.It turned out that the plan he submitted was just his first draft.
In the workplace, have you ever noticed the behavior of the leader taking off his glasses and throwing them aside? If you have noticed, then you should understand that this is a negative signal.If you notice the behavior and don't understand what it means, it's your loss.
[expert answering doubts]
Glasses are put on the bridge of the nose, which not only adds a bit of bookishness to people, but also a "magic weapon" for people to delay time.Put the glasses back on after wiping them, and pick up relevant materials to show that he is thinking about it; fold the glasses and put them aside, and lean his back on the chair to show that he wants to end the conversation; fold the glasses and throw them aside is negative signal.
However, many people in the workplace tend to ignore these actions of their bosses.If you have a little understanding of behavioral psychology, you can find that there are many articles in these small actions of your boss.He folded up the glasses and threw them aside. This action of throwing directly reflected the anxiety and displeasure of the other party.What he was about to express was definitely a negative opinion.
If Dong Xiang in the story has a little understanding of behavioral psychology, when he sees the general manager fold up his glasses and throw them aside, he should understand that this is a negative signal.If he knows that the general manager has a negative attitude towards his copy, maybe he can find out from the general manager's negative attitude that he has taken the wrong copy, and then he still has a chance to save it.Unfortunately, however, he didn't understand behavioral psychology at all, and ultimately missed out on this promotion.
The above story tells us: step by step there is a coup, read the body language of the boss, and seize the opportunity of promotion.
[Extended reading]
The different actions of people wearing and taking glasses represent different meanings. Let’s take a look together:
People who bite the legs of their glasses between their lips long for a sense of security
We often see some glasses wearers biting the temples of their glasses in their mouths. This action has the same meaning as holding a cigarette or biting a pen, and it expresses a desire for security.
Put the glasses back on after wiping them down and pick up the relevant materials to show that they are considering
Suppose a person puts the glasses back on after wiping them and picks up the relevant materials on the table.This continuous action shows that the other party wants to continue to check the details and is considering how to respond appropriately.
Folds glasses away and leans back in chair to indicate wanting to end conversation
Suppose a person folds up his glasses and puts them aside while leaning his back on a chair.At this point, what he wants to tell you is that he wants to end the conversation.At this time, you can only scratch the surface if you have further debate.
Folding up glasses and throwing them aside is a negative sign
If a person folds up his glasses and throws them directly on the table next to him, this throwing action directly reflects the anxiety and displeasure of the other party, and what he wants to express must be a negative opinion.So, you need to be prepared to defend yourself.
chapter summary:
1.boss who nods frequently
A person nods his head in the affirmative, but nodding too often means he's getting impatient and is just trying to put you off.When you see the other person nodding frequently, you might as well stop there.
2.Boss raising right eyebrow
A raised right eyebrow shows that your boss doesn't believe what you're saying.This shows that your boss is skeptical of you.If you want to gain the trust of your boss, you still need to work hard.
3.A supervisor who does not look at a subordinate while speaking
When the boss talks to his subordinates, he doesn't look up or look at people.This shows that the boss looks down on the subordinate and thinks he is incompetent.
4.Boss slapping subordinate on shoulder from side
The boss pats you on the shoulder from the side to express his belief that you will do it, and encourages you to keep working hard!It is worth noting that you should not be complacent, but should work hard in a down-to-earth manner.
5.Boss with fingers clasped
The boss clamps ten fingers together, indicating that he is suppressing inner dissatisfaction.Discover the dissatisfaction in his heart in time, try to help him eliminate the dissatisfaction, and avoid hitting the gun.
6.The boss who often turns the pen by hand
The boss is not passing the boring time by turning the pen with his hand, but to cover up his inner tension by turning the pen with his hand.When you see the boss's action, just understand it, and don't try to stop the boss from turning the pen with his hand.
7.The boss who took off his glasses and threw them aside
The boss took off his glasses and threw them aside, which directly reflected the anxiety and displeasure of the other party.When you see this action from your boss, you should conduct self-reflection in time.
(End of this chapter)
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