The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 23 Stepping on the red carpet of marriage, once walking into the besieged city (2)
There are many ways to express love, such as facial expressions, language, behaviors, words, etc., which have been similar throughout the ages.But when expressing, whether it is reserved or exposed, calm or crazy, it varies from person to person, and the effect is sometimes very different.

Love is a poem.In Chinese-style love, if both parties pour out everything, it is likely to cause love to be dull.Only by making love vague and implicit can it be refreshing.

Xiaowen and A Ming have been dating for a long time.A Ming, who is so lukewarm, has not seen any signs of proposing to Xiaowen for a long time.It's not that Amin doesn't love Xiaowen enough, but that the beautiful and intelligent Xiaowen is like a bright crystal, and Amin feels afraid of breaking when holding it in his hand.In fact, Xiaowen has always loved A Ming deeply, and she didn't care about it at all. She just waited for A Ming to say to her: "Marry me!" , the right to be pursued and proposed to, which could have been enjoyed, is becoming a torment.

In order to make their relationship clearer, during the date that day, Xiaowen stared at Amin across the dining table and said solemnly: "Xiaomei is getting married." What's the matter?" Xiaowen asked seriously: "Should we talk about our affairs?" Amin was stunned by Xiaowen's demeanor, his palms were sweating, and he said cautiously: "We, are we like this? Is it good?" Xiaowen wanted to start a conversation and ask A Ming to propose marriage, but A Ming didn't bring the topic to the main topic.While Xiaowen was disappointed, she also mistakenly thought that Amin didn't love her enough, otherwise how could she be indifferent to her hints and urgings?
If the woman puts forward seriously: "We must talk about our relationship." The man will think that you are going to criticize him, so he will not dare to make any promises.If you change the way and say to him: "I think you are the most caring man I know, I just want to get along well with you." When a man is encouraged, he will be happy to talk to you, so as to achieve your established goal. The goal.

In fact, whether in the West or the East, the beauty of love is reflected in the way of love is also a kind of implicit beauty, the implicit beauty of love runs through the whole process of love life.

Therefore, women should know how to express their love to their lovers implicitly, and they should do "a long flow of water", so that love is like a tunnel, tortuous and deep, giving people an inexhaustible pursuit of interest, so that the sacred love will always be full of freshness .

Marriage experts have something to say: 15 questions you must ask before marriage

In order to avoid collisions of details in life between men and women after marriage, the "New York Times" once issued a list of "15 questions you must ask before marriage" listed by marriage experts.According to marriage experts, these questions technically rule out more than 90.00% of marital pain.These questions are suitable reading for everyone.

(1) Do we want children?If so, who is mainly responsible for it?
(2) What are our earning power and goals?Will there be conflicts between the consumption concept and the saving concept?

(3) How is our family maintained?Who will control the possible risks?
(4) Have we exhaustively exchanged the medical history of both parties?Including spiritual?
(5) Has the attitude of our parents met our expectations?Will it give enough blessings?

(6) Have we spoken out naturally and honestly about our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
(7) Can a TV be placed in the bedroom?
(8) Can we really listen to each other and treat each other's ideas and complaints fairly?

(9) Do we clearly understand each other's spiritual needs and beliefs?Do we discuss the future faith of our children?

(10) Do we like and respect each other's friends?

(11) Can we value and respect each other's parents?Have we considered that our parents might interfere with our relationship?
(12) What annoys you the most about my family?
(13) What is the one thing we would never give up in marriage?
(14) If one of us needs to leave the place where his family is located to accompany the other to work in other places, can it be done?
(15) Do we face any challenge with confidence to keep the marriage going?

Emotional decryption: Why do men have two faces before and after marriage?
Many women can't help complaining when they chat privately with their girlfriends: When they are in a relationship, their husbands can say everything to themselves, as long as they are unhappy, they will try their best to make themselves happy, and they will do their best to make the two of them happy. Love is full of passion and joy, and I finally let myself make a choice. Even if my family and friends suggest to test it for a while, I can't extricate myself from being immersed in the nourishment of this love. I worry that my own happiness will easily slip away because of my carelessness, but When the two really walked into the ideal marriage hall hand in hand, they didn't know when the husband became very irritable, would criticize and complain that he couldn't be a woman, and the care and love that the husband gave repeatedly Today it turned out to be an excuse for my husband to scold me. At first, I just thought it was a temporary marriage, but gradually I found that my husband is selfish. He has a bad temper and doesn’t care about others. When he fell in love, he just wanted to win his heart. He doesn't know how to take care of and be considerate of his wife.

Here I want to sound a wake-up call to women, that is, no matter how romantic, talented, outstanding, gentle, considerate and caring, no matter how satisfied a man is, shortly after marriage, if you still use the original You will be disappointed if you measure him by the standard.When a man is in love and after marriage, his attitude and psychological characteristics are always obviously different.In a nutshell, a man has two faces before and after marriage.

When men are in love, they will always form a feeling that women are weak, so they generally care about and take care of women.Women are also always taught to "don't take too much initiative with the man you like", so they always show dependence and seem weak.However, when the wife happily washes and cooks for her husband for a period of time after marriage, the husband may take it for granted.If there is no such thing one day, he will ask suspiciously: "Why didn't you do it today?" In his view, "I work, you eat" is already a pattern.One day his wife would also suggest: "Let's eat out once in a while." He would start to mutter in his heart: "It's really expensive." "I'm so confused to find such a lazy person!"

When you fell in love with him before marriage, maybe a woman's romance, beauty and passion can confuse him for a while, but a man who is determined to get married doesn't value this.The practical principle of a man's marriage is mostly based on whether a woman behaves according to the behavior pattern of "I am the one who works, and you are the one who eats".

In their view, the purpose of marriage is not to seek romance and create love, but to find the feeling of home, that is, after returning home, someone will hand you a cup of hot tea, water for washing your feet, and a table of delicious meals.Of course, there is also a lovely son who surrounds him, affectionately called "Dad".Occasionally, when the mood comes, he will help his wife wash and rinse in the kitchen twice to show his respect to his wife.This kind of situation occurs mostly because the man's conscience suddenly discovers when he is rewarded in the unit or promoted to an official and he is happy.

A married man always has an extra layer of shyness. He always feels ashamed to say love words when he is an old couple.He always feels that love has already been loved, and talking about love is too nasty.Therefore, for him, there are three things that are always difficult to do: one is to express his love to his lover frequently, such as some words that can make the other party feel his position in the heart of his lover, such as "I love you" ", "I like you", "I can't live without you" and so on, he always finds it hard to say; second, he often praises his lover's figure and clothing, and they don't say "you look like you" like when they are in love. "You are so beautiful in this dress", "Your figure is so charming", etc. In short, they can't make their wives feel: he is paying attention to her all the time; the third is the frequent intimate love behavior.Some compliments such as "You reminded me so timely, you are my good partner" "Ah, you did a beautiful thing for me, thank you, I don't know how I would have done this without you matter", in his view, it is natural for a wife to help her husband, such words are purely superfluous.See, married men are so silent is golden.

Married men are prone to amnesia.He would forget about his wife's birthday, wedding anniversary, not to mention Valentine's Day or other holidays.Therefore, on such days, as a wife, don't expect too much from your husband, and don't expect too many surprises from him.He may view the anniversary celebration as intrusive, redundant, a nuisance.Therefore, he made life as monotonous and dull as possible.Sometimes when he thinks of or is reminded of these anniversaries, he may be slightly touched, but in his opinion, the activities of anniversaries are just to get something delicious, find something fun, or be elegant and give something away nice one.He has completely forgotten the warmth, joy of life and family happiness behind a warm candle or a small gift.

A man after marriage often becomes a social expert.He often has friends who are overwhelmed by what to do, and then he orders his wife to cook this and that, and take things and move things.He always likes to organize salon gatherings, and on such occasions, his wives are not allowed to participate, although he still took his wife to participate in such salon gatherings with great interest when they were in love before marriage, and then introduced the wives who were still girlfriends to everyone present people.He is always in the best spirits for every gathering.It was possible that the party was boring and the conversation was trivial and vulgar, but he enjoyed it.He may ignore his wife's displeasure at the party.

The following dialogue illustrates this situation most vividly: "Why do you fall asleep? There are guests coming at night!" "I just went to bed early on purpose, what kind of guests! Isn't it just your fellow brothers and sisters, if you don't go to work, I have to go to work , you kept it until late at night, have you ever thought of me? Is this home a hotel? I am the old lady who serves you? Last time, because I didn’t sleep well, my hand was almost wrapped by a machine. Did you forget it again?” “I know , please forgive me today." "No! I'm tired of hearing your words." Look, this is a husband who is so social that he neglects his wife.If this continues, it is not difficult to imagine that cracks will follow.

12 secret rules women use to increase intimacy after marriage

There is a woman who, whether she is married to a construction worker or a congressman, is capable of making herself happy.That's right, why should a woman's happiness depend on a man?Every woman should have the ability to make herself and her family happy.Next, we introduce 12 secret rules to increase intimacy after marriage, which can effectively improve your marital happiness index.

1. Less quarrel, more communication

When there is a dispute, you must avoid aggressive words and actions, try to deal with the problem coldly, and communicate slowly when both parties are calm.

2. Less discretion, more discussion

No matter how big the matter is, discuss it with him before doing it, so that he can feel his own importance, thus increasing his sense of responsibility to the family.

3. Tell less, do more

When you ask him to do something, but he doesn't do anything and deliberately ignores it, don't get angry.Do it yourself, and then talk to him when you're done.

4. Less petty temper
No matter how tyrannical you have been, but never in front of him.If there is a mistake, you must admit it, and if you have no mistake, you must give up three points.Mom's words are the best advice: "You will always be a child at home, but you will be an adult at your in-law's house!"

5. Be sure to avoid suspicion

Don't try to prove the truth of "the body is not afraid of the shadow crooked", because people don't listen to you, it is very important to keep a proper distance from the opposite sex!
6. Everyone is a child

Everyone is transformed from a child, so keep a little childlike innocence. When encountering conflicts, remember: coaxing is more effective than arguing!

7. Criticize less, encourage more

Some people say: to ignore his shortcomings.Of course, this holds true for innocuous flaws.But when you encounter some fatal shortcomings, you need to be careful and point them out to him in a timely manner. Let him admit your point of view first, and then let him change willingly. When he makes a little progress, you must encourage him.

8. Give him more time

Set aside some time every day, turn off all entertainment, turn off your mobile phone, and forget about unpleasant things at work.Do housework, chat and watch TV with him.

9. Surprise, move him
Create some romance at the right time, which is very effective in maintaining the freshness of marriage.

10. A lot of care for his family

Love his family with all his heart, and treat them better than his own family.Because you can make small temper at home at will, and your family will never blame you, but you can't do it in his home.His eyes are also looking at you all the time, it is more important to his family than to him!

11. Children are the lubricant of a happy life

When conflicts arise, don't vent your anger on your children.No matter what kind of battle you have had just now, leave a smiling face for the child, accompany the child together, and care about the child's growth together, this will resolve the conflict between you.

12. Remember more about his good, less about his bad
Husband and wife live together because of marriage. There is a saying that "gold is not pure, and no one is perfect." Even the "Prince Charming" who haunted you in the past has both advantages and disadvantages.Especially after marriage, a man's shortcomings may become apparent over time.At this time, what a wife needs to do is to learn to be grateful and tolerant, remember his good things more, and care less about his bad things.Of course, the "bad" here does not involve issues of principle, such as extramarital affairs.

Quiz: Is Your Marriage Happy?
Maybe you are very happy with your marriage.Although sometimes you will have some small conflicts.Still, it won't hurt to take this quiz to find out about your marital status.

Please read the questions in the table and answer them realistically.Then calculate the total score obtained.

start testing:
Self Quiz (Husband) on Marital Happiness Questions:
Self Quiz (Wife) on Marital Happiness Questions:
Your total score:

Husband:

wife:

Help you analyze:

Husband:

A total score of 75 or more indicates that your family life is not very happy.In this, you are more or less wrong, and you should try to show a great deal of interest in your wife.In any case, both parties must consider how to make family life more stable and happier.

The total score is between 40 and 74 points, indicating that you are satisfied with your marriage and you like a peaceful and happy family environment.You sometimes meet with your friends to reminisce about the past, but these are only pleasant memories that do not cause you any dissatisfaction with your family life.

A total score of 39 or less indicates that sometimes there is a little misunderstanding between you and your wife, but generally speaking, your marriage is happy.You are a husband who makes your wife satisfied and happy.

wife:

If the total score is above 75, it means that you think your marriage is not happy, and you blame your husband first.But you should consider whether you have your own reasons, which are beneficial and harmless.I hope you will make efforts to transform the family relationship for the better.

The total score is between 40 and 74 points, which shows that you know that a perfect marriage does not exist.You also understand that a good family relationship depends on both spouses.The fewer points you accumulate, the easier it is for you to solve family problems.If your accumulated points are close to 74, then your family problems are very serious.You often doubt whether your family can overcome the crisis, please believe that the crisis of family relationship will be overcome.

A total score of 39 or more indicates that your husband and wife relationship is normal, especially after you have been married for several years.You are a good wife, and it would be unreasonable for your husband to have more fantasies.

(End of this chapter)