The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 30 "Raising" Husband, Because Men Can't Be Locked Up (2)
Before Song Xiaoyun married her husband, he had a romantic history with a girl next door.Occasionally when this story was mentioned, Song Xiaoyun always praised the girl for her beauty and popularity indifferently, while her husband always smiled shyly while pretending to be nonchalant.It was a man's pleasure that his wife could appreciate his own eyes, and the more she downplayed his past, the faster it digested in his mind-until it became a light-hearted interlude of youth.

Generous women are full of pride and self-confidence. This is their best decoration, so that they can maintain youth and vitality for a long time, and bring a kind of fresh air to their marriage at any time.

In addition, women should also pay attention to such a problem: there are absolutely no shortage of real men who are firm and calm in the world, but for most men, they are actually just firm.At least most of the time, they are disguising themselves... "I don't need you" is one of the psychology.Mr. Mi has been a strong person all his life. According to Mrs. Mi, he is even a little tough.He doesn’t even need his wife to accompany him when he goes to see a doctor; when we go shopping together, he always walks ahead alone; when his wife goes out for business, and looks back at him, he always waves his hand and says impatiently: “You go, I’ll stand alone.” it is good.After Mrs. Mi died of illness, Mr. Mi suddenly aged a lot. Three months later, he committed suicide.

It is generally believed that women are more vulnerable and more dependent. However, a Japanese psychological research institution has confirmed that in Japan, suicidal men are 1.32 times more than suicidal women, and women recover much faster than men after falling out of love or losing their spouses .Men's attitude towards the other half is often "I don't need you, and I will live without you." However, in fact, they are trying to cover up their inner dependence on each other. "I feel sad without her, it's so shameful!" That's what men think, and wives need to understand that.

Be brave enough to go on an adventure with your husband
Men are adventurous by nature, and most women are content to live a quiet life.If you want your husband to advance by leaps and bounds in his career but are afraid of taking risks, this is actually holding him back. When necessary, a woman should bravely accompany her husband to take risks, which can add some excitement to a peaceful life And fun, sometimes it can promote the success of the husband's career, and then reap happiness.

In fact, in the eyes of many people, taking risks is a great thing.Psychologists have found that men are more adventurous than women, and the risk-taking coefficient of men is about twice that of women.Why is this so?
1. Derived from genes
"We were surprised," said British psychologist Geoff Trezzi, "that there was a fairly large statistical difference between men's and women's propensity to take risks. We never expected that the difference would be so large." He said, checking the results Unexpectedly, "to a certain extent, risk-taking tendencies can be regarded as the distinguishing characteristics of men and women."This, he says, partly explains why male and female leaders have different leadership styles.

He speculates that this distinction was made by evolution.In early humans, men were responsible for hunting and therefore had to take risks, while women relied on caution and meticulousness to keep family members together. "The difference between men's and women's risk-taking tendencies is genetically balanced in the evolutionary process, and that's why our population has survived," Trezzi said.

2. Balance is beneficial
Risk-taking is necessary and worthwhile, but we need a balance.With a little attention, you can easily see that the happy family pattern is often a combination of a woman's alertness, meticulousness, and long-term vision combined with a man's impulsiveness, fearlessness, and adventure.

3. There is a big difference
British psychologist Geoff Trezzi said at the annual meeting of the British Psychological Association in Chester that his psychological consulting company was commissioned by the British Financial Management Authority to check the risk tolerance of financial investors, so he Checked with colleagues about 20 people in 2000 different jobs.

The inspectors divided the inspectors into 8 different types of risk tolerance, namely: the alert type with very low tolerance; the cautious type with low tolerance; the thoughtful type with normal tolerance; the calm type with high tolerance; the very high tolerance Ability risk-taking type; high tolerance, fearless type who likes to change and explore new things; normal tolerance, impulsive type who loves to make impromptu decisions but is worried that things will develop in a bad direction; low tolerance, suspicious and self-critical tension type.

The results of the check showed that there were more than twice as many women as alert and cautious types than men, and more than twice as many men as adventurous and fearless types.

Happiness does favor the adventurous mind.Women, if you want your husband to be successful in the career he loves, you should encourage them to boldly try every possible opportunity, and at the same time, be prepared to take risks and overcome difficulties and setbacks.

However, in real life, some wives, in order to maintain a stable life, prefer to let her husband maintain a job they don't like, so that he can reach the retirement age in the job he doesn't like.

At the beginning, Yang Feng was just a bookkeeper, and later he made a fortune, so he planned to register his own auto repair shop, but at this time he got married.His wife thought it best not to quit the job until they bought the house.After they bought a house and had their first child, his wife convinced him how stupid it would be to start his own business again.So, the days passed day by day.When his salary is enough for the family expenses, and there is insurance money to guarantee the education expenses of the children, at this time, he should be able to follow his wish and engage in his own business without any hindrance, right?But his wife always thinks that it is ridiculous to start her own business at this time!What if it fails?Undoubtedly, he will lose his seniority in the company, the company's pension, sickness allowance, and a medium and regular salary.In this way, Yang Feng gave up the urge to start a new business again, because his wife was unwilling to give him the chance to take risks and try.

Today, he has become a mediocre man who is tired of life.Normally, he would only spend his spare time fishing by the river, and what was reflected in the water was a frustrated face.He often thought: "Maybe this is it, this is the rest of my life!" He spent most of his life repressing his dissatisfaction with his work.Because his wife refused to give him the chance to try and take risks, he never had a real interest in his work, no enthusiasm, much less ambition.

What would happen if Yang Feng gave up the job he was not interested in and tried hard to do the job he wanted to choose, but failed in the end?The sky will not fall down!And life goes on!But at least, he will have no regrets because he has tried.Once he can comprehend the reason of the failure, carefully summarize and learn the lessons of the failure, maybe he will embark on the journey of success in the next attempt.

So, a woman should seriously consider her husband's future at certain times, but being too cautious will often delay her husband's success. Take risks with your husband. Even if you fail, you will leave a good time for you. Memories and the happiness of sharing joys and sorrows.

Disable parental restraint

In family life, men need the care of women, and the wives iron clothes, cook meals, and arrange small and large chores properly.But what you should know is that even if you are a model housewife in everything you do, he still wants to hide a lover outside the house.A virtuous wife is the opposite of a lover.why?Day after day of motherly love will eventually lead to a man getting bored.Although psychologists believe that every man is looking for a woman like his mother.That's a nice ideal, but it doesn't mean you have to indulge him endlessly, or act like his guardian.Behavior that makes a man feel suffocated, or like confronting his own mother, tends to annoy him and keep him at a distance like a rebellious child.Here are four maternally tinged restraints you should avoid:
— don't check him out, and don't make him report to you.

- Don't expect (without your prior request) to spend all of his free time with you.

——Don't force him to ask "how long has it been since I've been with you".

- Don't cling to him like a jellybean, otherwise, he won't have enough space to appreciate you.

Never act like you're pushing him.For example, he is on the phone with his aunt who has not heard from him for a long time. After putting down the phone, you immediately ask who is calling, or interrupt when he is on the phone.This behavior is no different from his mother wearing an apron.Like a teenager, he can be rebellious.

On many occasions, women will appear mother-in-law: "Take a break." "Don't stay too late." "Call me when you arrive." "Before you go out, eat something." Behavior that would make him feel like a retard.After all, he is different from a two-year-old child. You can say to the child: "Go to sleep first, and eat biscuits when you wake up." But it can't be done with him.

Pressing a man to defend himself, or make him report his whereabouts, is a mother-son relationship.Maybe he just runs out and will be home in half an hour; maybe he's looking for someone to fix his refrigerator; maybe he's drinking beer at a friend's house.If he thinks that he has to report to you for trivial matters, he will feel that he has lost his freedom.Afterwards, he would tell a little lie, to cover up something he didn't need to cover up, as if he was protecting his territory and sphere of influence.At this time, he will feel that there is no escape.

Don't make him feel like he needs your permission for everything he does on a daily basis.When you watch him too much, it suffocates him.Don't make it feel like he's living under a microscope.In this case, he will feel that he has lost his freedom and will immediately want to run away.

Don't schedule your weekends to the brim, or he'll have to ask you for time off to play.Let him play ball.Otherwise he'll start missing appointments.Why is this so?He's like a teenager who's rebellious because his mother imposed a curfew, so he breaks appointments on purpose.That way, you won't be able to give him orders and schedule his time as you normally would.

If you see you being together as something he has to do, then you're making something that would otherwise be enjoyable feel uninteresting.Even if you are well-intentioned, your bluntness will turn what was originally a reciprocal request into something that discourages him.So whenever you make him feel like he has to be with you, it feels like work to him.

If you can always make him feel that there is a lot of space to do his own thing, he will be moved and passionate.You should be more of a lover to him than his mother.He will cherish you more, instead of seeing you as an obligation that needs to be perfunctory, and at the same time, he will appreciate you more.

In a way, grabbing a man is like grabbing a handful of sand, the tighter you grip, the more it leaks through your fingers.

(End of this chapter)