The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 34 Use Your Mouth Well: The Art of Language That Makes Your Husband Happy (2)
The winding path is more secluded, and praises her husband implicitly and tactfully
Women are always sensible and intelligent. They master the skills of lying and the psychology of men.Protect yourself and love yourself with small means, and indirect praise is the only magic weapon.Direct compliments have never been something Chinese women are good at.A woman's straightforward praise of a man, in the Chinese view, not only damages her own image, but also makes the praised man feel unnatural.Therefore, praise is not as direct as implicit and tactful.

At a banquet, Song Shuna met a man.This man is handsome and generous, and Song Shuna really wants to get close to him and get to know him better.Song Shuna knew that if she wanted to make a good impression on him, how to speak was the key step.Because around this kind of man, there should be many women who want to approach him, so if I want to win his favor, I must behave neither humble nor overbearing.But because it was the woman who spoke first, Song Shuna was in the active position, so she had to play it safe to win.Song Shuna believes that it is most effective to use other people's mouths to praise him at this time.

When a friend introduced Song Shuna to him, Song Shuna said: "I heard that you are chic and cheerful. I only heard of you in the past, but today it seems that it is true." Such an opening statement not only implies that you are interested in him, but also arouses his interest. interest.The most important thing is that such an opening statement can give you opportunities while taking the initiative.

In fact, this kind of indirect praise also applies to married life.For a woman in marriage, the most effective way to praise her husband is to praise him indirectly through the mouth of a third party.In this way, the husband's heart will be as sweet as honey, and he will be more considerate and doting to his wife.Here are a few tips, wives who want to be happy may wish to try.

1. Compare your husband with the idol he admires

If you praise your husband for being similar to the idol he admires, he will probably be overjoyed!
For example, if the idol he admires is Apple's Steve Jobs, a wife might as well use the following words to praise him.

"By the way, I think your current situation is very similar to that of Jobs when he was struggling!" He was 100% able to say that, making him secretly happy.This is because, psychologically speaking, the idol a person admires is actually the person he wants to become.That person's way of living is his own template, guiding his own thoughts and actions.If you use this strategy to praise your husband, he will continue to have a sense of self-confidence and satisfaction, feel that his wife has recognized his efforts, and can't help but recall that sense of accomplishment. At the same time, because of your approval and praise, he will More love and appreciation for you.

2. Convey compliments from people around you to your husband
Men care about the evaluation of people around them, and your husband is no exception.If he hears words of respect and trust from those around him, a man will act elated.If you convey to him the compliments of those around you, his self-confidence will be strengthened and he will become more outstanding.Therefore, if you hear praise from people around you (including classmates, friends, relatives, colleagues, superiors, etc.), you must report it to him exactly. "My leader said that you are very stable, and you are a person who is worthy of delivering big and important things." "After they got in touch with you, they all think you are very capable and capable," and other comments from people around you.Women, please remember that what you say to your husband will have an impact that cannot be ignored on his growth.Whether the impact is positive or negative depends on how you structure your words and convey your message.

3. When your husband fails, write cards praising him
Some women may think that to praise their husband when he fails, is disappointed and helpless, is tantamount to asking for trouble.As everyone knows, when a man is at the bottom of his life, it is when his psychological defense is weak.At this time, he most hopes that someone can recognize his previous efforts, especially eager to get his wife's affirmation, even if he gets a little recognition.

Expressing compliments to a frustrated husband face to face can be overwhelming for some women.At this time, cards or note paper will come in handy.You might as well write what you want to say to your husband on it, let him understand that although what he did before did not achieve the expected results, after all, he has tried his best, and it is worthy of respect and affirmation. No one on the road to dream Can go smoothly.

Next, it is necessary to consider how to place the card or note paper.You can put it on the head of the bed, refrigerator door, room door and doorknob when your husband is not at home. The principle of placement is that it can be clearly seen by your husband.

In addition to using indirect praise to treat her husband, a wife can also praise him with unexpected words.

If your husband is a muscular man, praise words such as "great body" and "excellent manly appearance" must have been said many times by many people, so these words will not particularly affect his heart. In other words, these words no longer have any sense of freshness and satisfaction, even if they are spoken from his wife, he will not feel anything special.

Smart wives will not praise their husbands with stereotyped words, they often praise their husbands with words full of surprises.When a man gets such a compliment from his wife, he will first feel the unprecedented stimulation and great satisfaction of self-esteem.You will leave a deep imprint in his mind, and any "little three" will not be able to take advantage of the loopholes and ruin your happiness.

I "offended" my husband, and I can make up for it with praise

Many women with life experience understand that husbands are for worship, and a man's self-esteem is sacred and inviolable.It's just that in life, when women are inevitably negligent or anxious to get angry, if they don't pay attention, they forget the motivational principles for their husbands, and some words he doesn't want to hear slip out of their mouths uncontrollably.

Tian Ling's living conditions couldn't be more ordinary. Her husband is just an ordinary employee who receives a fixed salary every month. He can't go hungry or support him. However, what Tian Ling hopes in his heart is not such a life.

She doesn't like her husband's routine life every day, and thinks that the main reason for the current situation is her husband's satisfaction with the status quo. After a long time, Tian Ling's anxiety is gradually written on his face.

"Look at Lao Wang next door. He was promoted to be a manager after only one month of job-hopping. His wife is very proud every day!"

"Look at Mr. Chen upstairs, with an annual salary of one million. If you can make that much money, we won't have to worry about mortgages."

"Look at Xiao Liu in our company, he has only been working for a long time, and he is already a candidate for the next director."

At the beginning when Tian Ling said it, her husband just agreed in a coping manner, but after one, two, three or so many times, the husband finally couldn't take it anymore.

"Look at her..." When Tian Ling said it again, her husband interrupted her.

"Don't let me look at them anymore. If they are so nice and I'm so incompetent, why don't you marry those 'others'? It's not that I'm not working hard, but you have to give me time!" The always introverted Her husband suddenly said such a long paragraph, which shocked Tian Ling.

"I didn't mean that... I..." Tian Ling didn't know how to express himself.But at this time her husband had already walked into the room, leaving Tian Ling alone in the living room in a daze.

This is a common skirmish in married life.God testifies, there is no principled error between the men and women here, they just don't fully understand each other's mind.From a woman's point of view, she has absolutely no intention of looking down on her husband, but the family needs to provide housing, live, and reserve for the future expenses of the children, but the husband is loose, how can this be?I just want to motivate him, is it worth picking words?

For the husband, the grievance is even greater.Men are most taboo to associate salary—especially a salary that is not high enough in the first place—with ability.Comparing them with others hurts their self-esteem even more.I work hard outside, but it doesn't work for a while, and my wife is not satisfied. Doesn't it make my situation more difficult?

In any case, this unhappiness was caused by the wife, and it should be ended by the wife. What should I do?Seriously apologizing?This may make the description darker and darker, and your husband will think that you care about this matter very much, and make it clear that you look down on him.Ladies, don't forget that our praise rules are universal, but the method needs to be changed at this time.

Just now I said that my husband's ability is not great enough, and it would be a bit difficult to praise him for his bravery and invincibility, and it seems that such sincerity is not enough.If we can hide the praise in the "need", it will be much more comfortable in the husband's heart.

You can greet your husband: It’s getting dark, there’s a strange sound outside, I’m afraid to death, please see what’s going on; the light is broken, I can’t reach it, come quickly; why doesn’t my computer not work? Yes, my data has not been saved yet, will it be lost?
These are implicit compliments from women, saying "I need you, I can't live without you, I don't know how to live without you".After the husband receives this information, he usually forgets about the dispute just now and plays the service spirit of the head of the family normally.

Guide the husband to play a gentle "bickering" game

A happy marriage requires a collision of passions, which is like playing with bumper cars, where the fun lies in bumping east and west, attacking and defending.The freshness and excitement of this kind of game is like the sweetness in love, and it is by no means comparable to the calm and plain feelings. "Bouzui" is actually a bumper car game among couples, especially between couples with high cultural literacy. This very unique and interesting language game is very popular.

"A Dream of Red Mansions" No. 19 wrote that Baoyu went to Daiyu's room, saw her sleeping there, and pushed her away, and Daiyu said, "Go and make trouble elsewhere." Baoyu pushed her and said, "Where am I going?" Where are you going? It’s weird to see other people." Daiyu laughed and said, "Since you want to be here, go over there and sit honestly. Let's talk." Baoyu said: " I'm crooked too." Daiyu said: "You just crooked." Baoyu said: "There is no pillow, we are on the same pillow." Daiyu said: "Fart! Isn't there a pillow outside? Take one for pillow." Baoyu After taking a look, she came back and said with a smile: "I don't want that, and I don't know which dirty woman it belongs to." After hearing this, Daiyu opened her eyes, stood up and said with a smile: "Really, you are the 'Omen Star' I hit! Please Pillow this one." She gave Baoyu her own pillow and took another pillow for herself.

Baoyu and Daiyu's "bickering" is just because they want to "grab" a pillow. Although the matter is small and the language is very common, everyday spoken language, between men and women, it plays the role of kissing and scolding as love. Bickering has become a lively and casual way of showing love, otherwise, between men and women in a normal relationship, if Daiyu scolds unceremoniously like Daiyu, one sentence may hurt the peace.But Baoyu and Daiyu, who love each other, did not fight because of their bickering, on the contrary, they became more and more close to each other.

In the short story "Luomeng" by Taiwanese female writer Xuan Xiaofo, both Dai Chenghao and Gu Mei have independent and uninhibited personalities. They both want to change the other, but neither can change the other. However, from the tit-for-tat words of the two, We clearly felt their mutual tolerance and mutual understanding, and we truly felt the deep love overflowing from their hearts.

It describes a "bicker" between two lovers, Dai Chenghao and Gu Mei.

"I really don't understand why you can't be gentler."

"I really don't understand why you can't be gentler."

"Okay...you lack softness, I lack softness, and in general, our air has always lacked softness."

"Need to manufacture?"

"what do you say?"

"casual."

"Be as gentle as you can in the future."

"Please be gentle if you can."

This is a pair of people who depend on each other and love each other deeply, and "bickering" is their tool to mediate the atmosphere.Although the quarrel between lovers looks like a quarrel in form, you have to talk and I have to go;But it is fundamentally different from quarreling: During "bickering", both parties say those sharp words in a relaxed and cheerful manner. Sexual but non-dangerous "soft friction" has become the best way to express intimacy and coquettishness.

Just because bickering has the characteristics of sharp in form and soft in essence, it has a wider space to show the true feelings and rich personalities of lovers than the sweet words that express one's heart.Therefore, if you want to continue bathing in love after marriage, you might as well guide your husband to try this kind of language game. In this relaxed and romantic game, you can deepen mutual understanding and enhance mutual feelings, which is also the key to married life. Spices to make the emotional world after marriage more colorful.

(End of this chapter)