The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 37 Wake Your Ears: Listening Is a Mandatory Course for a Happy Marriage

Put aside your absent-mindedness and be your husband's best listener
In modern society, men are under more and more pressure. They need to confide and their wives to give them attention and warmth.But it is a pity that once many women get married, they start to suffer from the problem of nagging. They fill their husband's ears all day long and don't give him a chance to talk.

As a competent wife, you have to observe your husband carefully.Especially when your husband is upset and depressed, you have to use love to comfort him and let him get out of his emotional trough.When your husband talks to you about his troubles, as a wife, you should listen carefully, because your husband needs your care and comfort very much at this time.

Under normal circumstances, women always like to confide to men, confide their grievances, and confide their happiness, and regard men's listening as a kind of warm support.Few women think that men also need to talk. Sometimes, your ears can give him comfort, support and encouragement, and of course, you can win the love of your husband.

It is worth mentioning that listening is not just about keeping silent and listening with your ears.

Yang Lijuan has always been secretly in love with her neighbor Wang Litao who grew up with her, but Wang Litao only regards her as a little sister and has no special feelings, besides, he has a girlfriend.Wang Litao started a company in partnership with others, but in the end others ran away with the money. Years of hard work were in vain. Wang Litao was disheartened. After being scolded by his girlfriend, he was even more depressed. He asked Yang Lijuan to go to the bar for a drink.

Wang Litao drank one cup after another. Yang Lijuan listened carefully from the beginning of his business. Occasionally, when he opened a new bottle of wine, he said: "Don't drink any more. If you drink too much, your body will suffer." No." One night, Wang Litao kept talking, while Yang Lijuan listened silently, after dawn, she hailed a taxi, and she took Wang Litao back.

The next day, Wang Litao went to find Yang Lijuan after waking up, and he found that he could no longer ignore the girl's wishes.If you don't say it now, you will regret it for the rest of your life.He stammered and said, "I wonder... can we get along together... for a while." Yang Lijuan was stunned for a long time before she came to her senses.Unexpectedly, the long-awaited words were easily won because of his listening, and tears filled his excited eyes.

A year later, on their wedding night, Wang Litao said to her: "Honey, do you know what the night you accompanied me brought to me? It was the first time I discovered that you were so beautiful. You look like Wearing a radiant coat, although you have been silent, but behind your silence, I feel that you believe in me and affirm me. This is very important to me."

A company once conducted a survey report on the wives of its employees, which was published in an internal magazine, and a psychologist was quoted in it: "One of the most important things a wife should do is to let her husband enjoy himself. Talk about the distress that you can’t vent in the office.” A wife who can do her duty must be the best listener for her husband, instead of being half-hearted and absent-minded.

Mr. Wang returned home in a hurry, and without taking a breath, he shouted excitedly: "Honey, do you know? Today is really a day worth celebrating! The board of directors called me over to report to them in detail about what I did. That regional report, they praised my advice as very good..."

His wife did not show a happy look, obviously thinking about other things: "Really? It's pretty good. My dear, do you want to eat sauced pig's trotters? There seems to be something wrong with the air conditioner in our house. You can go after dinner." Check it out, okay?"

"Okay honey. I've finally got the attention of the board. Seriously, I'm shaking a little today in front of all the board members, but it's going well, and even the boss appreciates it, and he thinks... ..."

His wife interrupted him: "Honey, I don't think they understand you at all, and they don't value you at all. Today, the child's teacher called and wanted to talk to you. The child's grades have dropped a lot recently. For you My dear son, there is nothing I can do."

Mr. Wang finally stopped talking, he thought his wife would not listen.

It is conceivable that when we have a lot to say and want to tell our lover with great interest, but the other party is absent-minded and has no intention of listening, what is it like in our hearts?Everyone will encounter happy or unhappy things, and they all need to talk to others to relieve and relax their mood.A wife who is good at listening can make her husband feel her love, understanding and respect for him. Listening is the greatest comfort and encouragement to him.

Most women always like to chatter and can't wait to tell each other what they think; some women will complain: "He never talks to me, he doesn't tell me anything." They don't think about it, Are you ready to listen to what he said?

A husband not only needs his wife to praise him from time to time, not only needs his wife's caring reminders, but also needs his wife to leave an ear to listen to him, to listen to his emotions.Women, please prepare your ears, put aside your absent-mindedness, and be the best listener for your husband!
Husband confides work troubles, and responding "I don't want to hear it" is a taboo
Jeremy Taylor once pointed out that listening is one of the charms of women.A woman who listens attentively to her husband's troubles at work is far better than a woman who has a pretty face but chatters endlessly.

Women are more likely to be honest with other people when they have something on their minds than men.When encountering troubles, even if they can find individual friends to confide in, they will not speak completely, and will always save themselves the last bit of face.Men's confessions are almost always packaged or deliberately chopped, so that no one person knows all the details.In fact, this is one of the reasons women have a hard time getting to know men—they simply don't want to be fully understood.

You may not believe it when you say it, but men are often more afraid of loneliness than women, and need to talk more.Especially when he has troubles at work, the first person he thinks of talking to must be the person he loves and trusts the most.

However, many wives don't really enjoy hearing their husbands come home and complain about their jobs.In the eyes of these wives, they will think that if a man can't even handle his own career well, he still complains to her after returning home, which is a sign of lack of work ability.In fact, this kind of thinking is really absurd.In the workplace, it is inevitable that people will encounter extremely stressful situations.For example, if you are in trouble at work, or are squeezed out by villains, and you can come back to complain and confide in your wife, you hope to get some comfort, advice, or some good advice from your wife. It will make you more motivated to fight hard.

Many well-known men who are extremely beautiful in the eyes of the public behave like children when they mention their wives. They say that it is a happy thing to be a "strict wife". If something goes wrong, you can go home and talk to your wife, and your wife will patiently listen to yourself.These successful men were full of happiness, and said they felt that this kind of relationship between husband and wife felt great, and they didn't have to pretend to be strong in front of their wives, so they felt very relaxed.

Famous film director Ang Lee said with a smile to the camera after an awards ceremony that he had no income: What I want most now is to go home immediately and let my wife scold me.what!How could such a great director say such things in public?No surprise if you've mastered the art of being an attractive wife.When Director Ang Lee blurted out the above words, everyone showed a very respectful attitude to him.A man who has encountered setbacks at work and suffered a psychological blow, if he can still find his way home when he is frustrated, he can sweetly think about the light that is on for him at home on the way home , What a warm scene that is.Whether he wins an award or not is no longer an important matter, because in his opinion, even if he is scolded by his wife after returning home, he will consider it a kind of happiness.

What disturbs men the most is that it’s not that they don’t have good teachers and helpful friends, it’s not that they’ve traveled thousands of miles, and it’s not that they don’t want to be satisfied at work, but that the people next to them can’t understand him, support him, encourage him, and can’t give him enough trust and confidence. time.In the process of walking on the road of life, unfortunately he took a detour, he can’t tell his friends, because he will lose face; he can act like a superman outside, but at home, when he faces you, he would rather unload He is armed and behaves like a child who needs to be taken care of; when he encounters setbacks, he cannot show his vulnerability in front of his parents, because he is already an adult, and he is even a father himself, so he needs to take care of his image even more.In short, he can show his weakness unscrupulously only in front of his wife.

When you caress his head with your hand, say to him gently: "It's okay, everything will be fine. I believe in my choice, I believe in the big tree I choose. No matter what kind of wind and rain this big tree encounters, It can’t be overwhelmed or destroyed.” If a man hears what his wife says, he will feel that he is a hero. And up.

In fact, men are more helpless than women in the face of work distress.If he is smooth sailing, he is proud of his spring breeze, in front of you, that is his proud capital; and if he is facing a career crisis, he hopes that you can extend your hands, give him a loving hand, and don't let him fall down.He may still shed tears, because only in front of you, he doesn't need to pretend, and he doesn't need to put on a posture to deal with it.

If a wife can figure this out, she will also know that the softest part of her husband's heart is actually given to his wife, but sometimes, if a wife ignores it, it will make her husband suffer. When there is nowhere to complain, the most vulnerable part of his heart will become a bruise in his heart, and he is even afraid that once he speaks out, you will underestimate him.You know, he is not afraid that anyone will not give him face, but he is only afraid that you will not give him face.As long as he acts like a man in your heart, no matter where he goes, he will treat you indifferently, because even if he takes a thousand steps back, he still has a home to return to.

Behind every successful man, there is a wise woman.As a wife, you don't need to help him stand out, as long as your gentle eyes are always behind his back, he can feel the strength from you at any time, then no matter how ordinary a man is, he will use all his strength to make his The wife becomes the happiest woman in the world.

Therefore, when your husband has troubles at work, listen to him quietly, carefully, and earnestly.Go respond to his complaints and tell him everything will be fine.Then, to encourage him to work hard, tell him: "You are the best in my heart, and no difficulty can make him back down."

A man who is encouraged displays extraordinary passion and strength.If you don’t believe me, you might as well take a look around, those men who are mediocre at work, or men who are negative at work, their wives or lovers must often criticize him.And those men who perform well, behind him, often have a wife or lover who makes him feel comfortable all the time, because no matter whether he has troubles today, he doesn't have to worry, he will look forward to going home, and She shares the joys and sorrows of life.

How to talk to your husband about your troubles at work so that your husband will listen

In the previous article, we explained that when a husband confides his work troubles, it is taboo for a wife to respond "I don't want to hear it".It is very necessary for us to talk about how wives should communicate with their husbands when they talk about troubles at work.

Zheng Min's work is not going well this month, no, another unpleasant incident happened at work last week.After dinner that night, I complained to my husband.Unexpectedly, before I even said a few words, my husband was already impatient, and said loudly to Zheng Min angrily: "Stop talking, I don't want to hear it! When did I tell you about my troubles?" Therefore, Zheng Min always felt as if he had hit a wall.

Many gender experts believe that women are auditory animals, and what things need to be "heard" rather than "seeed".A man who goes out into the world for a woman, and fights the windmills like Don Quixote, if he does all the adventures and doesn't spend his time getting a woman's ears drunk with sweet talk, then maybe he can get The world, get that woman, but the woman's heart has long gone to the sweet talker man.

When it comes to marriage issues, many people often ask: "Do you believe in your eyes or your ears?" Generally speaking, as long as you explain it positively, people who believe in eyes are more likely to reach a tacit understanding, while people who believe in ears It is difficult to reach a consensus, because the explanation system itself is vague and uncertain, and the more explanations, the more chaotic.

Many women rely on their ears. In fact, this is one of the reasons why they like talking on the phone, because listening will give women a huge space for imagining, putting their inner complexes, emotions, and love into it, and their sense of self. Especially strong.Men may be more fond of "seeing", because men's interest is more driven by hormones. Hormones never stimulate the ears, but the eyes will become extraordinarily active due to hormone secretion.Theoretically speaking, "seeing" is more emotional and intuitive, while "listening" first requires rational recognition of the meaning of words and sentences, and is controlled by reason.So why are men generally considered more rational?The reason is that there are many cultural cognitive models in the human brain, and the "heard" information will automatically match with the perceptual models gushing out of the heart, resulting in even more unreal results.But "seeing" will have a realistic template there, and this realistic template will limit the uncertainty of perception, which will naturally lead to a more rational result.

A smart wife needs to avoid discussing work with her husband at home as much as possible, unless the work involves the interests of both parties.Home is a harbor, a place where the mind and body rest, not a place for high-spirited talk.Li Zixun, a well-known Chinese psychologist, said so.In addition, Li Zixun also made some suggestions to his wives.If wives really want their husbands to listen carefully to what they say and get help from their husbands, they need to abide by the following principles.

First of all, use the method of making an appointment to let your husband know that you are serious and not just to pass the time.

Second, no matter what your husband says, never correct his point of view.A smart wife will not make her husband feel that she is smarter than him, and a man will not want to be pushed into a ridiculous position if he is killed.Desire to be worshiped by his wife is also one of the blood nature of men.

Finally, learn to be grateful to your husband and give positive feedback to him, so that he feels that talking with you is worth the money.This will stimulate his hormones, create a sense of pleasure, and make it easier to talk to him the next time you ask him to.

(End of this chapter)