The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 45 Compromise and concessions are virtues in marriage (2)
When both men and women get along, cold wars often occur.The cold war is very lethal to the relationship between the two parties, and it is also a big killer of a woman's happy life.Smart women have always been able to stop the Cold War, how did they do it?
1. Don't be impatient
When you don't know the reason for the other party's silence, you must be calm, and distinguish whether the other party's silence is intentionally used to attack you, or out of no intention, and don't lose your temper without asking the other party to force the other party to fight back.Behind the silence lies anger, and impatience only adds fuel to the fire.It is necessary to be patient in counseling, and not to act too hastily and intensify conflicts.

2. Don’t just let it go
Sometimes the other party also wants to break the silence by himself, but lacks the courage.You can withdraw temporarily only if the other person asks to be alone for a while.If you leave in a fit of anger, it will make the other party feel helpless, deepen the level of silence, and even cause the edifice of love that we have built together to disintegrate in an instant because of your withdrawal.

3. Don’t fight silence with silence
One party is silent, and the other party uses silence as a counterattack. This is a very bad way of communication.You should take the initiative to discuss with the other party how to solve the relevant problems, with a sincere attitude and tactful words.

4. Divert attention

When one party is silent, it is best for the other party to divert the other party's attention and reduce their psychological pressure by listening to light music, watching TV and other forms of entertainment.Once things have changed, the ice cube of silence will melt.

5. Don't force the other person to talk

When one party is silent, the other party forces it to speak, which will cause the other party to become more silent or lose their temper.You might as well say to the other person openly and honestly: "I don't know what I did wrong to keep you from talking to me."

6. Avoid the edge
In the face of the opponent's attack, don't block it head-on, you should use the method of avoiding the real and attacking the virtual.If the other party says: "I'm so tired of you and the baby." You can respond in a soft tone: "Yeah, this little thing is too naughty, shall we send him away?" It becomes easier to talk to each other.

7. Let the other party listen to good words
Nice words will relax the other person's tense nerves and make the other person want to hear more about it.If your neighbor once praised the other person for something good, tell them about it.Maybe the other party will ask a question or two, so that the two sides can easily carry on the dialogue.

8. Get as close to each other as possible
If you allow it, touch the other person gently and lovingly.When you want to talk to someone, sit closer and maintain eye contact.

9. Learn the words of the other party

If you really have no tricks, it is better to be mechanical.You try to get the other person to talk, but the other person yells, "Go away! You're so annoying!" Is there any other way?Here's what to do: Repeat the last few words your partner said, and then ask, "Borks me, doesn't it?" The other person might say, "Yeah, can't you just leave me alone?" Then you can say, " You want to be quiet and quiet, don’t you?” You have to try to get the other person to talk more, without interruption, and the other person will have a conversation with you.However, be sure to speak with affection and patience.

10. Do more self-analysis
During the Cold War, you should think carefully about the arguments between the two men.Perhaps, there is some truth to both sides.Don't expect the other person to accept your point of view unless you are also willing to listen to the other person's opinion.Therefore, doing more self-analysis and listening to the other party's opinions will break the dull atmosphere.

These 10 laws can help women get through the cold war safely and move towards their own happy life.

Apologize to your husband in due course: "I'm sorry, I was wrong"

"I was wrong, maybe you are right." Many people think that this sentence is not unavoidable, but difficult to say.However, when there is a disagreement or an argument with your spouse, arguments will arise between you.If you can readily admit that you are wrong and the other person is right, the communication between you can be more unimpeded, and the relationship between husband and wife can be deepened.

Li Xinrui and her husband have been married for 3 years, during which they also quarreled.That time, when the home was being renovated, they quarreled again.Originally it was agreed that the walls would be painted green and purple, but my husband changed his mind temporarily and asked Li Xinrui if it would be okay to paint the walls white and blue.Li Xinrui's temper has always been irritable, so she said something loudly to him at that time, and her husband was a little angry, saying that he just wanted to discuss it, and Li Xinrui didn't have to be so fierce.Her husband was usually obedient to Li Xinrui, but this time he talked back to Li Xinrui, which made Li Xinrui very annoyed, and the word "divorce" popped out of Li Xinrui's mouth.

When Li Xinrui and her husband got married, they made an agreement not to say "divorce" casually no matter what.Li Xinrui remembered this agreement, and looking at her husband's appearance, she also felt that it was a bit of a fuss.However, Li Xinrui refused to admit her mistakes to her husband because of her face, and did not talk to her husband for the whole morning.

When it was almost noon, Li Xinrui was a little hungry.Li Xinrui doesn't know how to cook, her husband usually does the cooking.She opened the refrigerator and saw that everything inside was raw.Li Xinrui was extremely hungry, and her heart soured, she couldn't help but shed tears.

The husband heard Li Xinrui's sobs in the outer room, looked at her with his head, then walked over, and said with a stern face, "Are you hungry?" Li Xinrui nodded. "Then I'll cook for you?" Li Xinrui nodded again. "You made me angry, apologize to me quickly." The husband finally found a chance.

From then on, whenever Li Xinrui and her husband quarreled, her husband would first say to her, "You made me angry, apologize to me!" as good as ever.

A woman must know how to seize the opportunity to step down and apologize to her husband at the right time.

In fact, as long as you are indeed at fault, you should admit it willingly.As women, we can play our temper and be unreasonable, but there is a limit to a man's patience.

Tomorrow is Chen Zhe's birthday.The night before, Chen Zhe reminded her husband that tomorrow is her birthday, so she should prepare a birthday present for her.At that time, my husband showed great importance and sincerity, said that he would celebrate Chen Zhe well, and promised to give her a surprise gift.

The next afternoon, Chen Zhe came home from get off work early, arranged the room, cooked delicious meals, put on beautiful evening clothes, and waited for her husband to come home.But after get off work time passed for a long time, there was no sign of him.The food in the pot was cold, sitting alone in the living room, Chen Zhe really wanted to cry, and no one answered her husband's cell phone, the fire in Chen Zhe's heart went up.

At 10 o'clock in the evening, my husband came back reeking of alcohol.As soon as he entered the door, he even sank into the sofa with his bag, completely ignoring the flickering lights in the room and Chen Zhe's face.The husband said nonchalantly: "There is a business meeting in the afternoon, and I had dinner with a few foreign investors in the evening, and I drank too much." "Why don't you call and talk?" "No time." After saying this, My husband suddenly thought of something, went to pick up the mobile phone on his waist, but it was empty, the mobile phone was left in the office, and it was charging...

Chen Zhe became angry all of a sudden: "You said that today is my birthday, I kindly go home early, prepare the meals, and wait for you for a few hours, why..." As he spoke, Chen Zhe Zhe's tears of grievance flowed out, and he was full of anger. "Okay, I'll go, I'll show you today!" Chen Zhe grabbed his coat, put it on, and ran out of the house.Chen Zhe was running around in a panic on the street late at night. In fact, he didn't know where he was going, and his natal family was not in this city, so it was inconvenient for friends and colleagues to disturb him late at night.Standing in a dilemma at the station square with the sadness of his birthday, Chen Zhe was at a loss.

"Ma'am, you forgot to bring your wallet." A hand suddenly rested on Chen Zhe's shoulder from behind. Turning around, he saw the drunken husband handing over the bag that Chen Zhe had forgotten, and said with a playful smile, "Wife, Whether you are going to Tianya or Haijiao, I will follow you, carry your bag, and be a flower protector." Seeing that Chen Zhe ignored him, her husband followed him even closer, and said in a low voice, "It's time to elope in the dead of night, Go up the mountain of swords and down into the sea of ​​fire, I will follow you." Chen Zhe's heart warmed up, and when he was hesitating whether to accept the bag, her husband hugged her all of a sudden, and took her head into his arms. Tears welled up.

When men and women quarrel, women, especially wives, may have many unreasonable things, but they always want to win.In this way, a man has to try to find a way for his lover, otherwise, even a trivial matter will cause trouble to the point of separation.As a woman, try to learn to admit mistakes actively, because men love face more.

In fact, the way for girls to go down the stairs is very simple, as long as you have a thicker skin, in front of the person who loves you, a thick skin is also extraordinarily cute.In short, when husband and wife get along, it is inevitable that there will be small frictions.When one of us makes mistakes, both parties must adopt an inclusive attitude, take the initiative to admit their own mistakes, and take the initiative to tolerate the mistakes of the other party.Only in this way can life be happy and beautiful.

A smart woman knows how to show weakness, but also knows how to maintain herself
Don't think that women who show weakness are incapable. Although they bow their heads, they don't bow their heads blindly. Those women who bow their heads blindly are the real weak women. The key to showing weakness lies in a "show".In the love book of women with high emotional intelligence, a smart woman reveals her innocence and cowardice at the right time, and she will reap a series of benign results such as care, love, help, and trust.

A smart woman knows when to compromise and give in, and when to keep herself to inspire a man's deeper love.

After watching the movie "Journey to America", no one will forget such a plot: the prince didn't meet his beautiful fiancée at the temple until before the wedding.The prince took the bride into the back room and asked her, "What do you like?" She answered, "I like everything you like." Then her answers became more and more submissive.When she came down again, the prince asked her to bark like a dog, and asked her to hop on one foot and bark.Just when she obeyed one by one, he realized that he couldn't let this wedding go on.

Men need women with minds of their own.Need your point of view.How you express yourself will let him know if you have confidence.You have to let him understand that you have the ability to bear the contract between each other.If he throws you a nonsense, you immediately return the color.He will respect a woman who can take revenge on him, a woman who can control herself.

If you find something difficult to accept, you must express it, and don't worry about the consequences of your doing so.If he asks you: "What movie do you want to see?" Don't always let him decide.You might as well say: "Hey, I've been patient and watched two shootout movies with you, so I want to watch a romance movie tonight." Men like women who can speak their minds, a man said bluntly : "I think most men don't mind a woman making decisions at home. It doesn't matter as long as no outsider knows."

As a wife, you can give a man a face, but if you lose everything in your bones, you will be that kind of cotton candy-like woman. ——It's also sweet and delicate, but after all, it has no content. After a short period of joy, a man will soon lose interest.For a long-term life partner, what men need is a woman who can play against them. Their private voice is as follows:

"If a woman is always acting super sweet and well behaved, it can be annoying."

“If a man thinks a woman is stupid, he won’t take her attention as seriously because he doesn’t respect her opinion at all. If she’s really smart and organized, I feel like I’m getting a lot of attention. something of value."

"She doesn't give in to anything. I would have complained at the time, but I have to admit, that aspect of her really intrigued me."

“I know I should be limited in some way, and I like women who don’t let me go too far. When a woman uses her powers well, or dares to break the status quo, she can be very sexy.”

"Men respect women who dare to challenge injustice."

"I see women on an equal footing, so I like to use my intelligence and take on each other in an interesting way. I like women who challenge me mentally through jokes or humor. It can be a very interesting Contest."

In the relationship between the sexes, a man can pity her for a moment, or ignore a woman’s right and wrong because of her superiority, but none of this is very reliable and invariable. If you want to get your husband’s long-term appreciation and love, you must use An equal identity stands in front of him.

You know, a happy woman is also an independent woman.Of course, the independent woman mentioned here is not the kind of woman who speaks with a hoarse voice, nor is she a blunt or rough woman, but a polite, beautiful and pleasant woman.They can be honest with men, and men are more comfortable dealing with them than they are with flirtatious or very emotional women.An autonomous woman knows what she wants and how to express her needs in due time.

(End of this chapter)