The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 51 Wisdom is like a fool, let your husband favor your "stupid" (2)
Yang Shang was the first to marry among the boys in the same class in the university. His wife was beautiful, which made his friends envious, but after their honeymoon, they had constant friction.They are all trivial things, but together they make Yang Shang feel uncomfortable.Yang Shang is not a petty man, but he has some problems such as sleeping late and being careless. His wife is very hardworking, but she likes to do things according to her own wishes, which makes him feel headache.For example, on rest days, as long as his wife has some arrangements, such as sanitation, going back to his mother's house, etc., Yang Shang will not want to sleep in. "If she arranges these things at other times, I will be happy to do it." In front of his parents and friends, his wife does not give him face.She cared about him smoking or hanging out with friends too late, she had good intentions, but Yang Shang was annoying.The two were noisy and made everyone very tired. Sometimes Yang Shang would rather stay in the office than go home and face his wife's bossy orders.

The conflict between husband and wife has been revealed so far. If the wife does not know how to adjust her behavior, from controlling her husband's daily life to interfering in his career, future, and life choices, a bigger crisis is yet to come.

Yunyun has an outgoing personality and is bold and aggressive in her work.The company has always been known for its decisiveness and high efficiency. Not long after marriage, she was promoted from a clerk to a business manager, responsible for chemical material planning, and her work became busy.Her husband is a trade union cadre of a transportation company. He is honest and honest.Yunyun made her own decision, mobilized all the connections, approached the boss of his company, gave her a generous gift, and transferred her husband to the finance department as the deputy chief.

The day before the appointment was made, Yunyun excitedly and pretended to be mysterious and said to him: "Hey, you must thank me well, I will make a big change in your life."

The next day, my husband came back from get off work, looking pale and depressed.Yunyun was taken aback, thinking that the section chief he got flew away.But he said annoyedly: "Can you stop meddling in my affairs in the future? Do you know what others say? They say that I grew up on my wife's milk!"

Yunyun felt that she was thankless, and her husband felt that she was living a useless life, and the war between the two began.

A month later, a court indictment was passed to Yunyun, written in black and white, and her husband filed a divorce lawsuit against her.

After finishing the divorce procedure, he unabashedly packed up his luggage and moved into a residential building where a widow and her 5-year-old son lived.

A well-informed source told Yunyun that the widow was a bus conductor and her husband was a driver who died in a car accident four years ago. Yunyun's husband met her on the bus.One day, he went out to do some errands, and when he got into the car, he realized that he had no money in his pocket.Everyone in the car mocked him, and a big man actually had nothing in his pocket, but the conductor let him go, and gave him 4 yuan to take the car when he came back, so as not to be troubled by others.Later, in order to pay back the money, he came to her house and worked hard to help her change the gas tank, buy rice... everything a husband should do.It is said that in order to get the female conductor to be transferred, he also went to discuss with the team leader several times, and his words moved the team leader with plausible words.From then on, the female conductor only worked day shifts, not night shifts.It is also said that her son was not able to go to elementary school because he was not old enough, and he was the one who persuaded the principal of the elementary school to let the child go to school.All in all, he became the backbone of the widow's family.

Yunyun didn't know that when she created everything for her husband like a gift, she inadvertently destroyed his self-esteem as a man.And with that widow, when he shouldered the heavy burden of life, he finally felt that he was an upright man.

Whether a man looks strong or weak, he hopes in his heart that he can give women the sense of security they crave. He believes that it is only natural to protect the woman he loves, so women should also be obedient.It is also a little vanity of a man's self-esteem to shelter his beloved woman from the wind and rain.If a woman shows a desire for a man's love and power, that alone will make him willing to give for her, and will always be immersed in the good feeling of being above heaven and earth.

As a woman, after a long search, I meet a lover who suits me and form a stable and warm family.In a way, respecting your husband is respecting yourself.Because respecting his independence and autonomy means that you have made a wise and prudent choice, that is, you have found a man who is worthy of your love and respect.Conversely, if you don't respect him, it means you made a stupid choice and found someone who doesn't deserve your love and respect.

Pretend to be confused, don't expose your husband's white lies
In a happy married life, not only do we need to be honest with each other and speak our minds, but at some point, we also need some white lies as a lubricant for our feelings.For women, these lies are to encourage their gloomy husbands and add a touch of bright color to their lives; for men, these lies are to maintain their own image and appease their wives.

Men are strong and rational. Every adult man will maintain this feeling consciously or unconsciously. This is another layer of clothes for a man. As a wife, even if you know his details well, there is no need to expose him.Otherwise, the irritated man will defend his dignity with more lies and greater temper.

In the list of men's lies, there are some statements that rank in the top 7.

Lie #1: "Of course honey, that dress looks great."

Reason for lying: To avoid arguments.

Men tell this kind of forgivable, harmless little lie, sometimes they may not want to hurt your self-esteem, for example, he said: "Of course, you don't look fat in this suit." Sometimes it is also to make their own lives better. Relaxed, out of trouble, looking for a job, like: "I think that wallpaper looks great." Or maybe to avoid unpleasantness or misleading you: "Perhaps in general opinion, Cindy C. Lawford is sexy, but she's not my type."

Lie 2: "I can fix it."

Reason for lying: To maintain self-confidence.

Whether it's the gutters in your home, your bike tires, your computer, or your cell phone, there's always a guy who feels like he has to be the master of everything.If a man can't fix these things, he's bound to lie and say it's totally broken and can't be fixed anymore.Because if he admits failure and lets his wife fix it, he'll feel less than a man and never hold his head up again.

Lie 3: "There's nothing wrong with it."

Reason for lying: I want to be alone and silently lick my wounds.

Feelings of sadness, depression, and disillusionment are common among men.For women, a man's loneliness may seem to offer an ideal opportunity for comfort and intimacy, but our genuine concern only makes them feel more exposed.This is why when someone they love wants to share their worries, they immediately withdraw into their shell.Do remember that for a man, bleeding is honorable and refusing to use a Band-Aid is sacred.So they sometimes cover themselves with lies to avoid scary conversations.

Lie 4: "I called you."

Reason for lying: Self-defense.

All men think they are perfect, or at least above average good.Now that they have given up their infinitely longing, wonderful and attractive single life for women, they really don't understand how they can disappoint us so much!So when you're upset that your husband forgot to call you, or he was late for an appointment, or couldn't get you a cough pill before the pharmacy closed, forgive him a lot.

You complain endlessly about some small unspoken mistakes, then he can only deal with it by telling a little lie.

Lie 5: "Honey, I'm the best."

Reason for lying: To make you feel that you are worthy of marriage.

Men often exaggerate when they describe how brave and powerful they are, their adventures, or how important they are at work.The reason why they do this is just to let you not forget that you are married to the right person.More importantly, men whitewash their resumes in order to always remind themselves of their doubtful masculinity.Men can't stand being on a conformist level -- doing conformist jobs for conformist wages.Especially those men with extraordinary bearing that I still see on TV commercials every day.Talking big is just to make yourself feel better.If he tells you "I forced them to fire me", you better take it as the absolute truth!

Lie 6: "My ex-girlfriend? That's it."

Reason for lying: Self-preservation.

Do wives have a right to know the truth about their past girlfriends?how good is shehow beautiful is sheWhen those men with a strong concept of privacy face such a problem, it is conceivable that they are perfunctory.Men also understand the importance of honesty, but what they say is big.There were some questions they didn't want to answer because they felt stripped if they didn't have any privacy after marriage.And past emotions are their safest privacy zone.

Lie 7: "I would never lie to you."

Reason for lying: So that I can live happily in the future.

These are the romantic things men say to reassure a woman because sometimes all a woman really wants is Hollywood dialogue.But even if he wanted to—and when we say it, he usually wants to.Can he really do it?Has he ever lied, evaded, boasted?Will he keep his word about important things?It depends on who he is and how strong your marriage is.It may take a lifetime to find the answer.But one thing is for sure, he hopes to have a Hollywood movie-style happy ending.How about you?
When a man's lies are for the peace of the family, the most appropriate attitude for a wife is to be "confused".

In fact, if you think about it carefully, when men are covering up or expressing themselves, they are almost always stretched.If a woman recognizes the truth, a little research can refute the man to nothing.But smart women are willing to believe and acquiesce in it.They don't refute the piles of love promises made by men, but they look for the warmth and happiness of being loved very seriously. On the one hand, they pretend to be confused, on the other hand, they appreciate the sweetness of love.If a wife can handle this kind of confusion well, then she must be the happiest and wisest.

You know, the word "marriage" in our Chinese characters, when taken apart, is a character for "female" and a character for "faint", which is very interesting.If women don't get dizzy and confused, maybe there will be no happy love and marriage in this world.

Keep your eyes open and figure out what your husband really needs

Of course, it is natural for a woman to be able to manage the house, but if a woman can only clean, wash and cook, and does not know what her husband needs, she will naturally become unfamiliar after a long time, and the relationship between husband and wife will not be good.

Bai Wei grew up in a traditional family. Her mother was a hardworking housewife who kept the house clean and spotless. However, Bai Wei had never seen her mother say or act intimately towards her father. In Bai Wei's impression, The relationship between parents is just plain.

After Bai Wei grew up and got married, just like her mother, she worked hard to take care of the house, washed the dishes and cleaned the floor, and dedicated herself to her marriage.The strange thing is that she is not happy, and looking at her husband, it seems that he is not happy either.

Bai Wei thought to herself that the floor was probably not clean enough and the food was not cooked well enough, so she worked harder to clean the floor and cook with her heart.However, the two of them still seemed unhappy.

Until one day, when Bai Wei was busy cleaning the floor, her husband said, "Honey, come and listen to music with me!" Bai Wei said displeasedly, "Didn't you see that there are still more than half of the floor that hasn't been cleaned?"

As soon as this sentence came out, Bai Wei was stunned. It was a very familiar sentence, and her mother often said it to her father back then.Aren't I repeating my parents' marriage, repeating their unhappiness in marriage?
The instant comprehension made Bai Wei make a different choice.She stopped what she was doing, sat next to her husband, and listened to music with him.Afterwards, she asked her husband very seriously: "What do you need?"

The husband said: "I hope you will accompany me and talk to me the most." This result really surprised Bai Wei.

Since then, Bai Wei has never been the same as before. She listens to music with her husband when she has time, hugs her husband when she has the opportunity, and says goodbye every morning after kissing her husband.The life of their husband and wife is getting sweeter and sweeter, and there is naturally another lucky girl in this world.

In fact, in married life, many women often make such mistakes. They are always keen to do the things they think are the most important, and regard them as the best gifts for their husbands, but they don’t know that all this is different from what he imagined. The love in women is completely different. Women put in a lot of effort, but all they do is useless.

The true meaning of a happy marriage is to love the other person in the way the other person needs, rather than being too persistent in loving the other person in your own way.Otherwise, you will be exhausted, but he will not be satisfied.

For women, stop saying "I've done enough for him." You have to figure out what your husband needs.

Not to be outdone, cleverly keeping pace with her husband

In real life, I often hear some women complaining about how bad their husbands are, but as a smart wife, don't say the complaints easily. Besides, you will never walk in front of your husband or If she falls behind, she will skillfully keep pace with her husband, so as to make the married life more harmonious and happier, otherwise she will easily become an abandoned wife.

Next, let's look at Xiaobai's story.

Xiaobai and Mr. Lin have been married for 7 years. During these 7 years, many things have happened and great changes have taken place: first of all, they have an extra daughter, who is already 5 years old.Again, it's a personal change.Mr. Lin has been exposed to more and more things, and he knows a lot more than before. He has changed a lot from psychology to life. In the future, when his income is 3000 yuan, Xiaobai can enjoy life at home instead of working.

However, Xiaobai has not changed at all.Except from one unit to another, and from one trade to another.Her thinking has never changed, she has never thought about what she will have in the future, and she has never thought about what kind of career development plan she should have.

Mr. Lin wants to travel, but Xiaobai thinks it costs too much money, so he is unwilling to go.However, she never stopped Mr. Lin from going.Mr. Lin complained in his heart: "Xiaobai never thought about how good it would be for a couple or a family to travel together." So much so that Mr. Lin always goes out alone.Although he was a bit disappointed, Mr. Lin couldn't help but go out for a walk, and shared his travel happiness with Xiaobai on the phone.

Mr. Lin buys expensive clothes for Xiaobai, but Xiaobai feels that the money is too much and he doesn't want to wear them.Here, let's insert a joke first.The joke is roughly like this: a man gives a beautiful diamond ring to his lover, and the lover smiles with happiness and joy, while thinking in his heart that the diamond is not big enough, is it a fake; a man gives a diamond ring to his wife, and the wife raises her eyebrows He scolded him for wasting money, and threw the diamond ring on the ground angrily.

Although this joke is a bit exaggerated, it also teaches women who are wives to learn to spend men's money happily and appropriately.For example, go to a fashion store to choose clothes from time to time, as long as he thinks it is beautiful and decent, you will smile happily like a flower, and let him ask the waiter to wrap it up; Open the gift box like a bird, look at the gift with glowing eyes, no matter whether it is expensive or not, just write it with a surprised expression; this not only stimulates his responsibility to you, but also makes him satisfy the big man The sense of accomplishment and pride of pity and pity, because men naturally feel that the money they make is for the woman they love.

Now, let's get down to business.Due to Mr. Lin's busy schedule, it is inevitable that he will bring Xiaobai to some important social events.At this time, Xiaobai's inappropriate clothes and clumsy conversation all showed that the distance between her and her husband was getting farther and farther.

One day, while fishing, Mr. Lin met a woman who was also fishing.Later, the two contacted more and more frequently, and they fell in love with each other for a long time.At the end of the story, Mr. Lin proposed a divorce to Xiaobai. Xiaobai cried into tears, but he failed to save his marriage with Mr. Lin.

In life, many women complain and accuse men of abandoning them after they succeed, but they never reflect on their own actions.In married life, two people must move forward together, and it is difficult for any one of them to stop in the middle, and it is difficult to reconcile.

Smart woman, when your husband is marching towards his career kingdom, you must also keep moving forward and try to keep pace with him. This is the basis of keeping "sweetness" and an important bargaining chip for happiness, otherwise you will be rejected. He was left far behind, reduced to a miserable woman.

(End of this chapter)