The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 56 A Happy Marriage Requires Sexual Harmony as Support (2)
Choosing a suitable environment is an important way to eliminate psychological interference. For example, the bedroom is quiet, there are curtains during the day to soften the indoor light, and low-degree lighting is used at night. The bed should be comfortable, the bedding should be clean, and try to choose your favorite style and color.

Psychological Conditions for Sexual Satisfaction of Couples
In the process of sexual life, husband and wife show many complex psychological activities, which make sexual behavior clearly selective and directional, and can foresee the possible consequences of sexual behavior.The relationship between husband and wife is further increased through sex life, so that love can be consolidated and developed.

So, how can couples achieve sexual satisfaction?What psychological conditions affect sexual satisfaction?
1. Maintain Sexual Attraction
There are many things that couples need to do to maintain mutual sexual attraction, such as not having too frequent sexual contact, living in separate beds to improve sexual sensitivity; both husband and wife should keep their skin and underwear clean; not casually naked in front of their spouses; Express your positive qualities, overcome negative qualities, etc.

2. Starting from love

The sex life of a couple with a foundation of love is a happy sex life, which can make both parties, especially the woman, feel happy.Sex life without love is impossible to get spiritual and physical satisfaction, it is just a kind of sexual desire to vent.Sexual behavior is essentially a psychological phenomenon. If the psychology is unbalanced and there are negative emotions such as fear, worry, tension, worry, disgust, and anger, the satisfaction of sexual intercourse will inevitably be affected.

3. Be considerate and cooperative

The sexual requirements of husband and wife are often different, and their cognitions on issues such as sexual pleasure, frequency of sexual intercourse, and sexual preferences are not completely consistent.Husband and wife should not demand that the other party conform to their own wishes, but should be considerate of each other, otherwise it will be difficult to obtain sexual satisfaction. While "reserving differences", we should "seek common ground". Both parties should learn from each other and actively communicate with each other, so as to make their sexual understanding consistent and make it easier to obtain sexual satisfaction.

4. Frequent "expressions of love"

Frequent "expression of love" between husband and wife is an important condition for maintaining sexual attraction and obtaining sexual satisfaction.Expressions of love must be genuine, and can be directly said "I love you" or through non-verbal behaviors such as kisses and caresses.Sincere expressions of love can reflect inner happiness, symbolize sexual joy and connection of love, and make the sexual life of husband and wife natural, warm and harmonious.

Other Tips for Improving Your Couple's Sex Life
If we seek harmony in the sexual life of husband and wife?This is a common concern of husband and wife.Especially newlyweds are more eager to acquire knowledge in this area.Here are a few tips for your reference.

1. Master the way of disclosure
Husband and wife should confide their secrets about sex to each other in order to choose their favorite point: one is to reveal their bodies.Couples don't have to avoid having sex under lights.Of course, the brightness of this light is much lower than that of the lighting; the second is to reveal sexiness.Communication of sexual feelings, including verbal and non-verbal means; the third is a preference for expression.Sexual preference refers to the adaptation of the opposite sex to the way, time and environment of copulation.Pay attention to this problem and choose more common points between the two parties, which is very important to increase the interest in coitus and activate the sexy atmosphere.

2. Create an atmosphere of love

In the sexual life between husband and wife, it is necessary to create an appropriate atmosphere in advance.Some people think that this is a waste of time, but in the eyes of many people, this is indeed a valuable art of making love between husband and wife.Music and dance that express emotions have a positive effect on inspiring sexual desire between husband and wife.That kind of popular music and most of the "Symphony Fantastica" have the effect of inspiring sexual desire for couples.As for dancing, it has been used as a means of courtship since ancient times.Whether it is a social dance or any other dance, due to the movement of the body and the contact with each other, it has a function of inspiring sexual emotions.Especially the rhythm of dancing can create a unique atmosphere, so that both men and women can get a certain degree of satisfaction.In addition, the usual conversation between husband and wife should also be a kind of gentle and considerate cordial attitude.Sometimes, wives can express their desires by spreading the quilt.At the same time, you can also change your pajamas suddenly as a hint, which can make your husband desire.This kind of implicit action often has a miraculous effect in creating an erotic atmosphere.

3. Pay attention to "heating" in advance

For a long time, people have had an unacceptable habit of thinking that sex life is just a matter of night and bed, and has little to do with daily contact during the day.actually not.If the husband and wife are not very close all day long, after a rest at night, they will have "sex" and get intimate for a while, which often does not allow both parties, especially the wife, to enjoy enough pleasure.A harmonious sex life requires a certain amount of emotional preparation.For couples who get along day and night, sex life often doesn't have much mystery.Some even treat it as a "regular meeting", which is not conducive to enjoying the fun of sexual life.The advisable way is to learn from the common sense of some chemical reactions - in order to make the reaction happen better, it is necessary to heat in advance.When the night is approaching, a man can give his wife unusual care with caring and caressing words or actions. It is not difficult for a smart wife to understand what this unusually kind behavior implies.At the same time, in order to protect the physical strength of the wife and enable her to be "leisurely", the husband can do more housework.In this way, when the wife is fully prepared physically and mentally, she will actively spend time with you happily.

The full expression of emotion often needs the guarantee of the occasion, which is the particularity caused by the coexistence of human reason and emotion, which may mean that the husband and wife need to work together to care about the environment of the living room.Firstly, it must be clean and comfortable; secondly, the temperature of the room should not be too high or low, and it must be warm; the light should be suitable——turn on a small lamp with dim and soft light, or rely entirely on the moonlight and stars coming in through the curtains.Specifically, it requires the wives to display their talents and the husband to be a good adviser.

4. Resolve sexual troubles
Some people with sexual problems usually have greater anxiety.Some are due to pressure in life or work, some lack confidence in themselves, some are too shy or feel guilty about "sex".There was a woman who regarded sex life as dirty and filthy because of her previous family education. After marriage, she often evaded her husband's sexual demands, and went to the bathroom to rinse her body over and over again to relieve her inner anxiety.There is also a husband who has been worried that he cannot meet his wife's needs. The more he worries and the more anxious he is, the more he develops so-called impotence, and he dare not even try it.For personal troubles like this, you should seek the help of a doctor, first check whether there is any problem with the physiological function, and then turn to a psychologist or counselor for help.Of course, how to establish a correct and reasonable concept of sex and cultivate the courage to change reality is more important.At the same time, reducing the pressure in life or work, encouraging and affirming one's confidence, etc., are also good medicines for relieving tension.

Some people turn to folk remedies such as kidney-tonifying medicines, which is not advisable for people with sexual disorders.The disadvantages of resorting to folk remedies are: firstly, the effect of some folk remedies is really limited; secondly, because of taking the medicine, the "patient" will inevitably have too high expectations of his own sexual ability, which will easily lead to frustration and worsen the imbalance.

5. Learn about sex
On the one hand, because people think that sex is an instinctive activity, they can do it without learning;In this way, many young people can only learn some incorrect sexual knowledge from bad books, pornographic video tapes, or hearsay.Some mistakenly believe that their early masturbation caused their current troubles; some felt frustrated because they were ashamed to be inferior to the characters in the film; If it persists for a long time, even to adulthood, it is still deeply affected and produces sexual psychological disorders.In this case, when young couples have problems, on the one hand, they should bravely talk to their parents about the distress of their sexual life, and ask them to guide you with years of experience; on the other hand, they should boldly turn to gynecologists or psychologists , or self-study some books on medicine, psychology, physical hygiene, etc., and make up the lesson of sexual knowledge by yourself.At the same time, pay attention to having more necessary exchanges with your partner, experience and be familiar with his (her) sexual habits, and accumulate specific and practical sexual experience.

6. Make good use of communication skills

Many sexual problems cannot be resolved, often because one or both parties cannot or cannot communicate in a frank and direct manner.In a survey on the sexual relationship between husband and wife, the relevant personnel learned that the vast majority of sexual requests are made by the husband, and even if the wife musters the courage, most of them are semi-active hints.This often creates some miscommunication situations.Sometimes the wife blames her husband for being selfish and wants it when she wants it; sometimes when she refuses the other party's request, she can't help feeling uneasy: "Will he be unhappy?" "I'm really tired, but how can I tell him?" People who are rejected may also think: "Is she not interested in me anymore?" Mental activities such as these, if not spoken, will cause mutual suspicion.Therefore, husbands and wives should encourage each other to express clearly about bed affairs, and actively accept each other's ideas and practices. At the same time, they should also express their own attitudes frankly.In addition to verbal communication, it can also be expressed in some non-verbal ways, such as putting on a specific pajamas, turning on a special light, playing a piece of music, etc.Of course, it would be better if both verbal and non-verbal communication can be used together.In addition to sexual communication, communication in other aspects of life is also very important.Some couples usually don't understand each other's meaning very well, and they can't express their opinions with certainty. Naturally, it is difficult to establish a relaxed and happy relationship, which will inevitably hinder communication in sexual life.

Human sex is different from mating among animals.In most cases, people's sexual intercourse is not to have children, but to satisfy people's physical and psychological desires and obtain special sexual pleasure.Therefore, to a certain extent, sex life can be regarded as part of the emotional life of husband and wife.In the process of sexual life, the husband and wife should not only cooperate with each other, but also pay attention to the display of emotions, put love first, and be good at caring for their partners.In addition, being familiar with your partner's personality and understanding his (her) physical condition will also help improve the quality of your sexual life.

7. Give Positive Feedback
Sexual life is the common need of husband and wife. In the process of sexual life, both parties may share the joy of sex.Therefore, in sexual life, husband and wife should be in harmony.But if the communication is not good, it is often just to enjoy the carnal desire, and make the psychological needs come to nothing.This will also give birth to dissatisfaction and affect future sex life.Some husbands blame their wives for not responding, while some wives blame their husbands for falling asleep after finishing their work, and this is the reason.

This kind of sexual disharmony reflects the standard tendency of each couple - each only cares about his own enjoyment, while ignoring the response to his partner.This type of sexual relationship without feedback often leaves one or both partners feeling frustrated and neglected.Not being able to know how the other person is feeling at the moment may lead to self-blame or suspicion of the other person, thus destroying the "sex" interest.On the contrary, even if the husband is unable to do what he wants, if the wife gives positive encouragement, it can help the husband strengthen his confidence.In contrast, if the husband only seeks his own needs, behaves rudely and hastily, does not give his wife some love words, or kisses after the event, it will easily disappoint his wife, and even have the painful feeling of being abused. Gradually less active.Therefore, a good response from a sexual partner can be said to be a lubricant for sexual life, and the husband and wife need to encourage and practice each other more.

8. Harmonious relationship between husband and wife
People are emotional animals.The union between husband and wife is based on the development of feelings.Once married, feelings become the link that communicates and restricts the relationship between husband and wife.Sexual life is also a kind of spiritual activity. Whether it is happy and harmonious or not depends on the relationship between husband and wife.The deeper and more harmonious the relationship between husband and wife, the more pleasure and happiness they will have during sexual contact.Otherwise, without spiritual closeness and emotional harmony, sexual consistency will quickly disappear.For couples with a lot of conflicts, it is difficult for both parties to have sexual demands.

Couples who have experienced sexual life know that the gentleness or blunt attitude of the couple in the family, suppression or approval, roughness or elegance, indifference or kindness, joy or sorrow and indignation will create different psychological atmospheres, or they will be willing to communicate with their spouses. Or hate the relationship.Sex life is in it too.Some husbands are not good at creating a corresponding psychological atmosphere.They sometimes demanded sexual contact with their wives right after they had quarreled with their wives, or said something insulting and hurtful to each other.This is immoral and unrestrained behavior, which can only arouse the disgust of the wife, and even the wife will scold him unceremoniously, "What a beast!"Because they hurt the self-esteem of their wives, destroyed the relationship between husband and wife, and forced each other to have sex without a harmonious sex life. In this sense, it is not too much to call them "animals".Human beings are social beings, and as human beings, we should be moral.Only animals are free from moral restraint.

The harmony of sexual life and emotional harmony are especially important for wives.In sexual life, the husband is in an active position and the wife is in a passive position.Wives place greater emphasis on harmony of character and intensity of affection.Women are generally more likely to restrain their sexual impulses than men.Love, attachment, respect, loyalty, and other noble feelings are often more important to women than sexual desire.Therefore, if husbands want to obtain family happiness, they must give their wives care, consideration and love, so that their wives can become one with themselves emotionally.In this way, there will be pleasure in sex life, and spiritual happiness and joy can be enjoyed, thereby further enhancing the relationship between husband and wife.Without the harmonious relationship between husband and wife, there will be no harmonious sex life; without harmonious sex life, there will be no happiness and harmony between husband and wife.The three restrict and condition each other, and the harmony of feelings is the basis of harmonious sex life and the harmony and happiness of husband and wife.Apart from this, there is absolutely nothing else to ask for.

(End of this chapter)