The happiest woman who understands her husband

Chapter 64 Adjust your emotions to make your husband feel more relaxed after work (2)
As the American psychologist William James said: "Men feel more and more that they are too tired to live, and they have to face pressure from career and family all day long. When they are overwhelmed and at a loss, many people start drinking and gambling. Even taking drugs to seek relief.” Where does the pressure of this life come from?There are many reasons for this. The social environment is a factor that cannot be ignored. Men's understanding of themselves and women's surrounding environment is also an important factor.

Women, to adjust your emotions, you must start with your own inherent understanding and behavioral rules, because it is they that make men tired.

"A man does not flick his tears lightly."This is the self-encouragement principle that has been passed down in one continuous line from a man's husband since ancient times, and it is also the basic personality requirements of women for a man.When a boy is just learning to walk, if he accidentally falls and sits on the ground crying and refuses to get up, the adults will sternly say: "Man, don't cry. If you fall, get up yourself!" When they go to school When I was in school, if I cried because I made a mistake, the teacher would also say: "It's embarrassing for a man to cry. Wipe away your tears quickly, and don't let your classmates laugh at you."

In people's minds, the image of a man should be: brave and fearless, persevering.Women seem to only worship heroes who are strong to the end.For this reason, men use false pretense all day long to cover up the pain in their hearts.Tears are the carrier of emotional catharsis. It is natural to cry when you are emotional and cry when you touch the scene.Can't shed tears, swallow the tears in the stomach, can't let them pour out, this can't but be said to be the sorrow of a man.

When men are traumatized, what do they use to wash that infected wound?When fate plunges men into the abyss, what do they use to float the painful boat? "Long songs can be used as crying", which is a bit romantic.When the unromantic man is so sad that he wants to cry but has no tears, the huge depression turns into an erupting volcano.The painful magma flowed wildly and ragingly, destroying not only the world, but also the man himself.

Tears are not a man's shame.Tears can't wash away the man's heroic qualities. "I took a long breath to cover my tears, mourning the hardships of the people's livelihood." The tears of grief flowed out the poet's great patriotic feelings.A truly strong man does not refuse to shed tears, to be gentle, or to show his true feelings.Su Dongpo, known for his boldness and unrestrainedness, also felt sad when facing the person in his dream, "there is no words for each other, only tears for a thousand lines".A man can "look at his tearful eyes with his hands in his hands, but he is speechless" to say goodbye to his lover, or he can "tear the tears from his hometown" because he is living in a different place, he can wet his green shirt for the encounters of people he has never met before, or he can write a book about his life. "A Dream of Red Mansions" which is "full of absurd words" and shed "tears of sadness".What's more, according to modern medicine, proper shedding of tears is quite good for eye protection!

But in fact, we don't have many opportunities to witness men cry in real life.Even if the men shed tears, most of them wept to the corner, and secretly spilled them behind their backs.A man once said frankly that when he was young, he had two memorable tears.Once was the first time in my life when I cut off my full mouthful of furry beards. I watched the beards fall like fallen leaves, as if the years were so lost. Facing myself in the mirror, I couldn't help crying.A sharp razor moved slowly around his lips, and the sound of clicking clicked ruthlessly cut off the past years, and he was pushed into the threshold of adulthood before he was ready.It can be said that "it is easy to be young and difficult to learn, and an inch of time should not be taken lightly. I have not realized the dream of spring grass in the pond, and the sound of autumn leaves in front of the steps."The carefree teenage years are gone forever, he can only go on the road and take his own unknown new journey.The second time was on his 30th birthday. Those who "establish themselves at thirty" are either "virtuous", or "contributive", or "speaking".In the year of standing, none of the three has achieved anything. The past is not as good as the ancients, and the future is invincible. However, time flies and time waits for no one. Sadness came from it, and he lost his voice.In tears, there is self-blame, self-esteem, and self-improvement.

Every person with normal emotions will be moved by the tears of such a man.As Schopenhauer said: "The reason why people cry is not because they feel the pain directly, but usually because they re-experience the pain in introspection and cry aloud." The tears of a strong man make us feel rich and warm human touch , feeling a healthy and soothing humanity.In this world, whether it is a man or a woman, they should first have the commonality of human beings, and have all kinds of emotions that human beings have, such as joy, anger, sorrow, and joy, and then play their respective gender roles in society.Only those who have acquired an unrepressed humanity can bring a healthy mind and a harmonious mind to our society.

In many family disputes, the essence of the dispute between the husband and wife is the man's understanding of the woman: whether to treat the woman as an independent individual and a partner in life, or just treat the woman as an ornament of a home.

Male chauvinists often think that they should occupy an absolute active and dominant position in the family, and women are just a rib of a man, and can only be in a passive and submissive position.What's worse is that women who seem to agree with this point of view on the surface, in fact, besides the protection of men, they also need independence. Can men fully satisfy them?

"A good man will not hurt the woman he loves a little bit", this is what women expect from men, and men must not take this as a standard.With the improvement of self-concept, today's women have really supported half the sky, so why do men do such thankless things?This rule should be replaced by "big husband can bend and stretch", adapt to social changes, adjust self-concept and self-worth, regard the lover as the other half of life, share the pressure of family and life together, men may not be so tired.

Insist on giving my husband a half-hour body massage

No matter how much a man loves his work, his work always wears him out in some way.After he gets home, if these strains are removed, he will be able to refuel his mental, physical, and emotional electricity, start fresh and enthusiastic the next day, and give his wife grateful thanks. in return and happiness.

In the first two months, Ms. Xu complained to her best friend, and the relationship between the couple was not bad after marriage.Usually, her husband, Master Guan, often travels on business and rarely comes home, so he occasionally calls to say hello.

"He came home on May [-]st. After dinner, I saw that he kept deleting text messages on his mobile phone, so I became suspicious." Ms. Xu said that she was very curious at the time, so she picked up his mobile phone and looked at it while her husband was taking a shower. stand up.

All the text messages in the inbox have been deleted, and there are still 2 text messages in the draft box, one of which is: "My wife, what are you doing, I'm very tired..."

This text message from my husband was not sent to me, so who was it sent to?In this regard, my husband explained: I drank too much wine that day, so I posted it casually.Ms. Xu didn't believe it. After questioning, Master Guan admitted that he knew a woman and had a good relationship.Ms. Xu was very angry. She asked her husband to write a note to promise not to contact this woman again, and asked her husband to hand over all his monthly salary to her.Master Guan nodded in agreement.

Another month later, my husband came home. As soon as he entered the door, Ms. Xu forced the master to take out his mobile phone to verify whether he was honest outside.A familiar number appeared on the phone, indicating that her husband was still in touch with that woman, "Didn't you say you broke up with her?" Ms. Xu asked her husband.

Judging from the mobile phone, it was basically the husband who took the initiative to contact the woman.Ms. Xu called the other party, and sure enough, the other party replied: "It's your husband who has been pestering me!"

After hearing what Ms. Xu said, her best friend had a question: the couple used to have a good relationship, so why is the master still looking for "comfort" outside?After some questioning, it turned out that the key lies in the lack of communication between the couple and the fact that the husband was very tired after returning home from work, but Ms. Xu turned a blind eye and ignored her.

In fact, Ms. Xu's approach is very unwise.A husband has a strong and energetic body, which is the source of happiness for a wife.After getting married, you might as well insist on giving your husband a half-hour massage every night.Rub the soles of your feet, beat your legs, rub your shoulders. Although your technique is not very professional, your husband will enjoy it very much, and it will help relieve his fatigue.

It is worth mentioning that massage is a technical job, and a wife must be appropriate and moderate, and pay attention to taboos.

During the massage, tell your husband to keep calm, don't be nervous, and relax both physically and mentally.

Pay attention to the proper force for massage. Some people think that the stronger the force, the better, which is wrong.If the force is too small, it will not have the proper stimulating effect, but if it is too large, it will easily cause fatigue and damage.The number of massage techniques should be increased from less to more, the strength should be gradually increased from light to more, and the acupuncture points can be gradually increased.

Not everyone can get a massage.Massage is contraindicated for people with various acute arthritis, contagious skin diseases, and partial fractures.

In addition, avoid eating too full or hungry before massage, it is best to set the massage time half an hour after the meal.

Massage also needs to be persistent. Using massage to maintain health or treat chronic diseases is not effective in a day or two. It takes time to show results.

Next, let’s focus on acupoint massage. If you press the acupoints correctly, you can maintain health and prolong your life; if you press them incorrectly, it may be counterproductive.If a wife can master the following health care areas, even if she just rubs them casually, it can not only effectively reduce the fatigue of her husband, but also play a good role in health care for her husband's body.

1. Rubbing the lower abdomen

Rubbing the lower abdomen can help strengthen the spleen and stomach.The navel is the place where the essence of the human body is relatively concentrated, and it is also an important acupuncture point "Shenque" in Chinese medicine.There are also Zhongwan, Guanyuan, Qihai and other acupoints around them. Gently kneading and pressing are good for adjusting the body's qi and blood and improving the functions of the internal organs.Traditional Chinese medicine has always advocated the health care method of "abdomen should be rubbed frequently", which emphasizes rubbing around the lower abdomen after waking up and before going to bed. Persevering for a long time can increase gastrointestinal motility and strengthen the function of the spleen and stomach.Appropriate hot compresses on the lower abdomen can also achieve health care effects.You can use a hot water bottle or hot towel that is slightly higher than body temperature, gently apply it on the navel, take it off after a few minutes, and keep applying it 1-2 times a day.

2. Pinch the soles of the feet

Pinching the soles of the feet can improve blood circulation.The feet are called the "second heart" of the human body. Soaking the feet in hot water for half an hour every two or three days can warm the meridians and promote blood circulation.If you can add some traditional Chinese medicine that can help Qi and blood flow in the foot bath, the effect will be better.For example, a small amount of angelica, safflower, panax notoginseng, Chuanqiong, and salvia miltiorrhiza are wrapped in gauze to make a traditional Chinese medicine bag, soaked in hot water in advance, and the medicinal effect can be soaked in about half an hour, and then you can add some white wine or vinegar .If your husband often suffers from insomnia, I especially recommend wives to give it a try.

3. Rub your ears

Rubbing both ears will benefit the whole body.The ear is like a fetus standing upside down in the womb, the earlobe represents the head and eyes, the outer edge of the ear is the trunk and limbs, and the inner side is the internal organs.Kneading different parts of the ear can play a role in health care for the corresponding body or internal organs.Traditional Chinese medicine says that "the kidney opens up to the ear". Therefore, taking good care of the ear will have a better effect on strengthening the kidney.Massage the ears with gentle pressure, usually pulling, kneading, and pulling. The best time is 5 minutes, not more than 10 minutes.

4. Push the spine

Pushing the spine strengthens the immune system.The spine and its sides are where the Governor Vessel, one of the two largest meridians of the human body, passes through. Important meridians such as the liver and kidney acupoints pass through, and it is the place where the yang meridian gathers.Protect your back from the cold and prevent your body from getting sick.Usually, with the help of family members, from top to bottom, or from bottom to top, massage the spine and both sides back and forth, you can push forward while pinching, or pat forward, every 5 minutes will have the effect of dredging the meridians.

5. Press the armpits

Press the armpits to calm the mind.The chest and armpits are parts that people rarely touch.Chinese medicine believes that there is an important acupoint in the armpit, called Jiquan, and acupuncture or massaging Jiquan has the effect of widening the chest and calming the mind.Western medicine has discovered that there are not only arteries and veins in the armpit, but also a large number of lymphatic tissues. Therefore, regular pressing of the armpit can improve blood supply, stimulate lymph, and improve immunity.

There are two methods of massage: one is kneading and pressing. Use the pulp of the right index finger, middle finger and ring finger to massage the armpit clockwise and then counterclockwise 15 times each, and then change the left hand to massage the right armpit. Each time lasts 3 to 5 minutes. It takes only a few minutes, and the technique must be gentle so as not to damage the local blood vessels and nerves; the second is to pluck, raise one arm, put the thumb of the other hand on the shoulder joint, and flick the bottom of the armpit with the middle finger, which can be fast and fast. Change the tempo slowly, alternating left and right.

6. Chest pat

Pat the chest to improve lung function.The front chest is where the yin qi of the human body gathers. Taking good care of the front chest can not only relax the middle and regulate qi, but also play an important role in improving the lung function and resistance of the human body.You can take the method of tapping and patting with empty palms to keep healthy.Put your five fingers together, palms hollow, aim at the sternum in the middle of the chest and clap with appropriate force, 3-5 times each time, stop for about 10 seconds, 3-5 minutes a day.But it should be noted that there are organs such as the heart and lungs under the chest cavity, so attention should be paid, otherwise it may be counterproductive.

Married women also need to know how to relax themselves

Married women, especially housewives, must know how to relax themselves.The advantage of being a housewife is that you can lie down whenever you want, even on the ground.You know, the floor is good for the spine, and a hard floor will help you relax more than a spring-loaded Simmons bed.

Here are some exercises you can do in your own home that you can try out for a session to see if it's good for your body and mind.

([-]) As long as you feel tired, lie flat on the floor, straighten your body as much as possible, and turn over back and forth.Do this action twice a day.

([-]) Close your eyes and say as Professor Johnson suggests: "The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and nature is peaceful. I, a child of nature, can also be in harmony with the universe."

([-]) If you are cooking on a gas stove and don't have time to lie down, relaxing in a chair can have the same effect.Find a firm, straight-backed chair, and place your hands flat on your lap, like an ancient Egyptian statue.

(10) Slowly curl up your [-] toes—then, relax them one by one.Tighten your leg muscles - let them relax; slowly move upwards, moving each part of the muscle, and finally turn your neck, and keep saying to yourself, "Relax...Relax..."

([-]) Take a deep breath to calm your nerves, inhale from the Dantian.Regular breathing is the best way to calm your nerves.

([-]) Try to smooth out the wrinkles on your face, loosen your tightly locked brows, and don't close your mouth tightly.

(End of this chapter)