no-complaint marriage

Chapter 17 Adding some "stuff" to an ordinary marriage (2)
When two people are in love, they often manage love and life separately.At this time, love is extravagant, and two people will always find some romantic reasons, or go to drink a cup of coffee, or go to an Italian restaurant to taste the dishes of famous chefs, or send a large bouquet of bright roses to the girlfriend... spend it all at once. A few hundred or thousands of dollars is not worth it, because the romantic feeling is really good. As for saving and careful planning in life, it is often ignored because of love.It’s different after getting married. It seems that marriage brings two people back from the romance of being in love to the reality of life. The price of a few cups of coffee when they were in love may now be a month’s worth of groceries for two people.At this time, the two people's considerations will be much more realistic. They integrate love into reality, and they will think more about life.

The occasional meeting between two people when they were in love turned into a day and night relationship after marriage. The other person in my heart is like a delicious dish that I often taste. .

Therefore, there is no coffee, no steak, no more flowers, no more romantic feelings in the life after marriage. The relationship between two people seems to be full of laundry, cooking, daily necessities, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. With the passage of time, love The feeling of heartbeat and affectionate eyes in the movie seem to be swallowed up by real life.

Get out of the misunderstanding of creating romance
Husbands and wives should not think that life without flowers, coffee and steak will not have any sentimentality. It is a misunderstanding in married life to think that romance in life is always backed by finances.

Some couples in rural areas do not have much material comfort, let alone a good economic foundation, but there is no shortage of emotional marriage life between them.When a man comes back from the field, he will pick a bouquet of wild flowers for the woman. The woman will keep sniffing the wild flowers, and then fill a beer bottle with clean water and put the flowers in it; When it enters the woman's mouth, it makes the woman grin so sour... What the woman smells is the fragrance of flowers and what she tastes is the sour fruit, but what rippling in her heart is a kind of sweetness.The man watched the woman sniffing the fragrance of flowers and grinning sourly. At this moment, he felt that his woman was the most beautiful in the world, and his heart was also full of happiness.It is not difficult to see that a seemingly poor and vulgar couple in the countryside can create some sentiments between them.Therefore, the emotional appeal of married life does not depend on the state of life, but on how the husband and wife do it.As long as they are husband and wife, they can always create some emotional appeal.

There is a husband who has been married for 20 years, and he has never felt that married life is monotonous.His experience is that first of all, he must have a certain prestige in front of his wife, and after winning the respect and even admiration of his wife, he will then play some farce between husband and wife, so as to add some interest to the married life.For example, his wife's pajamas are rather flowery, so he calls her "Flower Girl"; he can call his wife in more than a dozen dialects. Inclusion is more of the emotional appeal of life.When the wife is tired from work, the husband will appear on the sofa at the right time and give her a few "third-rate" massages. Although it is very unprofessional, the massage will make the wife cry when it is heavy, but it will only tickle when it is light. But the husband said at least it was "heterosexual massage", and "third-rate" was better than dirty.At this time, the wife is always happily lying on the sofa, enjoying the "torture" of her husband.The husband's "living treasure" style not only makes the wife's tiredness disappear immediately, but also brings a lot of happiness to the family, and the fun of marriage is also contained in it.

Therefore, a romantic life mainly lies in the life attitude of two people, and it has nothing to do with the wealth or poverty of the family.Because the relationship between husband and wife is a unique relationship, a unique relationship allows two people to do some unique things, which will make life more emotional.

"Frivolity" between two people

Living in a marriage with a stern-faced person is not going to be fun.The relationship between husband and wife is unique, and those who are interested will take advantage of this relationship and use the "frivolity" of "flirting" to add romantic fun between husband and wife.

When husband and wife get along for a long time, they will have "aesthetic fatigue" and "alternative life fatigue".In many cases, a man can be "frivolous". For example, he can say to his wife cheekily: "In order to save water, we have to take a mandarin duck bath!" Come feel.It is worth noting that the "provocation" to a third party is a frivolous expression, but the provocation between husband and wife is a kind of emotional appeal.Therefore, husband and wife can use "frivolous" language and actions to "tease" each other, so as to create the interest of married life.

Language itself is a wonderful emotional trigger. As long as you are good at tapping its interest, you can use language alone to play the role of "flirting" and make your married life full of romance.In addition to work, life, children and other topics between husband and wife, another important content is related to sex and love. This is the unique "interest" between husband and wife.It can be a joke, game, flirt, or even coquettish, angry, etc. between husband and wife.Although the "interest" between husband and wife is somewhat related to sexual themes, but because it is limited to the intimate world of two people, it will not appear dirty and obscene, but very interesting, exuding a kind of "love" between two people. The fragrance of lust".

In addition, the intimacy of the lover after marriage is indispensable.Expert research has found that once a man and a woman have established an intimate relationship, they will psychologically desire to have intimate contact and can deepen their feelings in the contact.Therefore, don't forget to do some intimate behaviors between husband and wife, such as holding hands, shoulders, stroking hair, snuggling, hugging, etc.

Women are the protagonists of romantic life
As mentioned earlier, men are more rational and women are more emotional. Therefore, women should be more sensitive to emotional appeal, and whether there is emotional appeal in marriage often depends on women.

When they get married, most women hope that their marriage will be romantic and emotional, but as time goes by, their husbands’ rationality makes them relatively slow to respond to emotions, coupled with endless housework, etc., making the reality Women's expectations of marriage cannot be met.Women are often the first to feel that marriage is boring.Faced with women's unhappiness, men are often surprised: "What's wrong with me? You women are just too boring!" This is the different feelings about marriage caused by gender differences.Therefore, women in marriage should let themselves learn to control their lives in the face of this situation.

Seeing that her husband was too tired from work, Jiaxuan prepared a table of sumptuous dishes and a bottle of red wine in one day.When the husband saw it after get off work at night, he felt the warmth of the family, and was very happy to see his wife's thoughtfulness.

It was a moonlit night in the west window, Jiaxuan lit the candles, opened the curtains, and let the soft moonlight shine through the screen window to fill the table with love.Therefore, the dinner under the moonlight was full of romance, candlelight, flower shadows... The couple enjoyed all of this, especially the husband, who felt that Jiaxuan looked more beautiful under the moonlight, and the fatigue of the day was swept away, although Working outside is tiring, but being at home can make him enjoy happiness and romance.

Marriage needs a little romance, it is like an oasis in the desert, it can let our tired eyes see hope and beauty, and give the "left hand" and "right hand" a fresh feeling appropriately.

You know, candlelight dinners, the fragrance of flowers in a vase, the unique fragrance of women... These emotional elements are often made by women.Some wives complain that their husbands are not romantic enough and have no interest. In fact, the romantic atmosphere comes from the romantic environment.A wife should be good at tidying up and furnishing a home with emotional appeal. Soft lighting and fresh air can arouse the passion of her husband.Of course, this requires extra effort and careful construction, but what are those efforts worth in exchange for the passion of married life?A romantic and healthy married life is often full of the wife's infinite patience and dedication, so women are the protagonists of romantic life.

Of course, both husband and wife want to have a romantic family atmosphere. Some people think that grandeur is romantic, some people think that simplicity and elegance are romantic, and some even think that casualness is romantic.But there is no standard for romance, it must be grasped according to personal feelings. A romantic family environment is an environment that meets the expectations of both husband and wife. This expectation is buried in the bottom of my heart. Therefore, the wife cannot arrange the family environment by herself Decision-making should also conform to the husband's taste as much as possible.People's tastes are different. Even couples who have lived together for many years may not completely integrate their preferences into one.Therefore, when a wife creates a romantic family atmosphere, she must also learn to figure out her husband's psychology, so as to achieve the desired effect.

4. An ordinary life needs more surprises and stimulation
Life is indeed "very boring" sometimes, and I go to work, get off work, eat, and sleep step by step every day.However, people do not live to live numbly.

Surprises make life no longer dull

When ordinary life is too boring, learn to create some unexpected surprises, so as to make life more interesting!But if you ignore it for some reason, it will give you some color and see.

There was such a story:
The two had been in love for several years, and the girl insisted on marrying him who was poor despite her family's objections.They had a modest wedding.There are no romantic wedding photos, no floats, and no full house.From then on, she and he lived a simpler life.

In the second year, the woman became pregnant, but the man lost his job.Facing the economic crisis, the man began to go to work everywhere, while the woman patiently waited for her husband to come back at the door of the house every day.The woman didn't feel lonely, because every time the man came back, he would bring something to the woman, sometimes it was a wild flower picked by the roadside, but it also made the woman happy for a long time.

Unfortunately, the woman suffered from dystocia during childbirth. Although the mother and child were safe, it made them bear a lot of debt.Because the man has to take care of his wife and is unemployed again.Two months later, the family no longer had any disposable money.However, there are still more than 2 yuan of foreign debts to be repaid, and the woman cried.

Later, through a friend's introduction, he went to work in a company.Soon, the company sent him to Beijing on a business trip. He took the opportunity to buy two clothes for the woman, because his wife hadn't bought new clothes for a long time, but he didn't know the size of the woman, so he called the woman to ask.The woman strongly disagreed, because she said she didn't want to spend money indiscriminately.So the man bought some clothes for the woman according to his imagination.After returning home, the clothes she bought were not suitable for the woman. She cried, then laughed, and hugged the man.But the woman has been wearing those clothes since then, and she doesn't feel that the clothes are inappropriate.

Gradually, life got better. Men no longer used wild flowers on the roadside to send flowers, but always replaced them with bright roses. On special days, women would receive a large bouquet of roses.As for a woman, every time a man comes back, it becomes her habit to give him a hug and kiss him.Two people are always like glue, love each other.

Ten years later, the man has his own business, and it is in full swing.His busy career made him neglect his wife.In his eyes, the family is rich, and his wife doesn't seem to lack anything.However, when he was 40 years old, his wife suddenly filed for divorce.A man can't stop his wife and ask her what she wants.The wife said that she just wanted to go back to her hometown to take care of her elderly parents. In this home, she had nothing to want, and the only thing she wanted to take away was the few sacks piled up in the attic.

The man was very strange. He sneaked up to the attic in the middle of the night and opened the sack and saw that it was filled with dried flower petals.It turned out that the woman kept the flowers that the man gave her after drying, and saved several bags over the past ten years.Men understand why women want to divorce.

The next day, the man begged the woman to give him a few more days to think about it, and the woman reluctantly agreed.The next day, the woman received the largest bouquet of roses in her life, and the man wrote on the card: "This is your compensation for more than a year! I ignored you, but it doesn't mean I don't love you." The woman again There is no mention of divorce, but what about the man?No matter how busy he is at work in the future, he will never forget to buy a bouquet of flowers for his wife, or accompany her to have a cup of coffee. Even if he really has no time, he will say to his wife in a text message: "I love you!" He often made fun of them and said, "Your children are already in junior high school, why are you two still lingering like newlyweds?"

Therefore, the happiness of marriage does not depend on wealth or poverty, but on whether the couple can manage it.Marriage will always be mediocre, but if both husband and wife know how to manage and surprise each other from time to time, such a mediocre marriage will also be full of glory.

surprise, unexpected surprise

Living a dull life for too long often loses its joy and makes you feel numb and dull.If you want to keep romance and passion in your marriage forever, it is better to use your own love and unique creativity to create a little surprise for your lover.In this way, not only can life be more fun, but it can also make him cherish you more.

I have a friend who once had a business trip to a faraway city.When I was feeling bored on the train, I suddenly remembered my wife's instruction, "There are apples in the bag when you are hungry."

He opened the bag, only to find that there was a small box in the bag, which turned out to be an MP3.He was very happy because he often travels on business and wanted to buy an MP3 to relieve his boredom, but his wife prepared it for him in advance.He was also pleasantly surprised to find that it contained not only some of his favorite songs, but also several official novels he often read in MP3 format.He remembered that his wife had said that he had bad eyesight and liked to read books. She wanted to help him find e-books in MP3 format. In the future, he would no longer need to read books, but could "listen" to books directly, which would completely liberate his eyes.

Now that she has done all of this for him, he couldn't help being moved in his heart.That journey, accompanied by the love of my wife, is no longer monotonous, dull and boring.

Another time, he just inadvertently complained at dinner that life is so boring.I get up on time every day, drive the car at the same time, and clock in at the same time. I always do almost the same things. When the time comes, I come home from get off work, take the same car, and eat the same meal.Every day is about the same.

When he came home from get off work the next day, he saw his wife had prepared a sumptuous meal for him.After the meal, the wife said: "Honey, I want to give you something nice!"

She took him into the bedroom.He saw a beautiful violin on the bed, and suddenly, tears filled his eyes.When he was in college, he loved the violin very much, and his ideal has always been to become a great violinist or musician.However, real life defeated his ideal after all.He was exhausted, for work and for the house, so he had to put his ideals on the shelf.

Unexpectedly, because of her unintentional complaint, she actually thought of his ideals in college and bought him a piano.

He kissed her, then took the violin lovingly and began to play.Although the playing was a little jerky, the sound of the piano was still melodious, and the sound of the piano slowly echoed at home, and they were intoxicated together for a long time.

It was night, he put his arms around her and said, "I'm really surprised today, I'm really happy!"

When my friend told me about the accident his wife brought him, his face was intoxicated.It can be seen that their relationship is also very sweet, and the surprise brought them a strong sense of happiness!
It can be seen that an ordinary life needs the stimulation of surprises more. Many people think that it is difficult to create surprises, but this is not the case. As long as you know a little more about your lover and understand his needs, you can easily create surprises.

The real surprise, often unexpected, is yearning, something or feeling he wants deep down, not what you think he wants.

If you don't understand the needs of the other party and arrange it self-righteously, the effect will only be counterproductive.Not only wasted your energy in vain, but also did not bring him any happiness, it can only be self-defeating.

As long as you are careful, it is not difficult to discover the yearning deep in your lover's heart.In getting along with you day and night, what your lover hopes will always be revealed.A smart husband or wife will sensitively grasp this longing of the lover, and achieve the effect of surprising the lover.

Surprising the other party unexpectedly often acts as an emotional "stimulant".As a result, strong emotional flowers burst out in surprises, set off a jubilant love heat wave, and also make ordinary life full of fun.Therefore, you will often get the harvest of "happiness blooms like a flower"!

5. Manage a mediocre marriage with heart

As the catchphrase sums it up: "Love is as high as housing prices (that is, remains high), but marriage is as risky as stocks." Love is rare, and marriage is even more difficult to maintain. To maintain a long-term marriage, we must learn to manage marriage.

Marriage and "business"

When some people hear the word "marriage management", they may feel a little disapproving, because the word "management" is easily associated with utilitarianism.Most people think that marriage is a product of love, how can the word "management" be used to blaspheme?But when you see that many friends around you have experienced failed marriages, and you are also experiencing a dull period of marriage, you will become more and more aware that marriage really needs to be managed.Many people try their best to maintain their health - to prolong their life. Have you thought about how to maintain their marriage - to prolong the "life" of marriage?
(End of this chapter)