no-complaint marriage

Chapter 20 Love manifests itself in every detail of life (1)
1. Love is in the details

Any form of love has its different specific connotations and forms of expression, and the love between husband and wife is a unique kind of love in this theme - affectionate love.

With the growth of marriage age, I deeply realized that the true love between husband and wife is not only a greater satisfaction in material, but mutual comfort in spirit, mutual support in soul, mutual integration in emotion; this kind of love It is responsibility, it is understanding, it is sincerity, and it is a long and difficult journey; this kind of love does not need to be vigorous, but it is like continuous drizzle, moistening things silently, and it is like gurgling water, clear and long.There is a saying that goes well, "True love can be seen in bits and pieces", think about each other from those little things, care about each other from the bottom of your heart, and show the love between husband and wife in the bits and pieces of life.

little things in marriage
A peaceful life can't stir up waves, but when you lose it, you know how precious it is to maintain a peaceful and peaceful life.Every couple enters into marriage after a passionate love affair.Some people say, "Marriage is the tomb of love." The famous writer Bing Xin said: "Marriage is not the tomb of love, but the beginning of a more intimate love that unites soul and body." It is a mature expression that can go from intense to plain.It is the need of personality to be able to keep plain and not be tempted by the outside world.

Marriage is based on love, but after a long time, the initial touch is gone, and everything has become a habit, getting used to the love of the other party, getting used to the existence of the other party, but ignoring its importance, just like we live in the air, Sunshine often overlooks their meaning to us.As long as you pay attention, it is not difficult to find how much affection is hidden in this "habit". It is not a vow of eternal love on the lips, but in the small details of daily life. When he hands you the scissors, he points the tip of the knife to you. The moment of your own; when you leave a light for him who comes home late and wake up and worry about it; every time you ignore his impatience and tell him not to stay up late, not to smoke too much, Don't get drunk; when he brings you something you like inadvertently... All these small details of life that you don't care about all show the deep affection between husband and wife.This kind of love is speechless, it is he who tolerates your petty temper and bad mood, it is you who tolerate his forgetfulness and occasional mistakes, it is the reconciliation after anger, it is the solidarity in the storm...

The world's great writer Voltaire said: "It is not the mountains in the distance that make people tired, but a grain of sand in the shoe." Solomon, the wisest king in the world, said: "Everything starts from small things." Don't ignore the details, an ink A little touch can stain the white paper, and a trivial matter can be disgusting.

Smart couples always know how to deal with the little things in marriage, and always make their love full of romantic warmth.Grasp the direction of love, let love sail to the romantic distance in a balanced way with your own control, so that emotions will never be tired!

There is a gentleman who can say "I love you" in multiple languages, English, Japanese, and even Spanish. Every time he says "I love you" to his wife in a "sinicized" foreign language, the wife will laugh Da Xiao came forward to hug him. It can be seen that the sweetness between husband and wife is only because of saying the three words "I love you".Many people may only be willing to say "I love you" when they are in a relationship, but after getting married and having children, they seldom say this sentence to their lover.Even sometimes when asked "Do you love me?", many people will only answer: "You know!" Indeed, we often feel that our love will be known to the other party without telling, but in fact there is Certain misunderstandings.From the perspective of human emotional needs, love needs behavioral performance and verbal expression.Because proper expression will give the other party a kind of warmth and confidence.

Getting along with men and women is an art, and small things are the link that connects this art.Don't think that only big things are big things. In fact, there are never small things in love.Everything you do is born of love!
Love is in the details, "one flower is one world, one sand is one heaven", love is reflected in small things, don't leave yourself with lifelong pain because of small things!
For two people who are in love, in the emotional world, all the little things about each other are big things.Intimate little things, like smells and melodies, will always be rooted in the valley of memory, with hidden flowers blooming, and the fragrance will linger there.Years later, just wait for someone to turn around and rush in without paying attention, and the insignificant memory will completely open up the warm and romantic world at the beginning.

Just like in the movie "Sweet Talk", the small family hotel on the island encountered a water shortage, and Wenwen's hair was only half washed, and the landlord Jinshui slowly poured mineral water on her white hair.Wenwen said: "Decades later, I will have no memory of the major world events that happened today, but I will definitely remember this afternoon, on Xianghai's balcony, you washed my hair with mineral water!" People are always more powerful than events.If it is negative, if you don’t pay attention in time, it will easily ruin the love; if it is positive, it will make the sweet love stronger and stronger, and you will reap unexpected love.

no small matter
In fact, many of us are just ordinary people. Maybe we will not encounter a few major events in our life, but what we have to face every day are small matters of pots and pans.Small things are the sand in the shoes, and big things are the boulders in front of the emotions. When encountering boulders, we can always hold hands with each other and struggle to turn over them; if the sand in the shoes is not dealt with in time, it will make the road of emotion more difficult. Walking more and more tired.

This reminds me of two classmates in college:
Those two classmates, one from the south and the other from the north, the south is a woman from the Jiangnan water town, and the north is a strong man from the northeast.The two are attracted to each other and love vigorously, but they are both opposed by their parents, especially the female classmate from Jiangnan Water Village.Parents told her ten thousand words, customs, geography, etc., such a marriage would not be happy.But despite her parents' opposition, she broke through all kinds of resistance and insisted on marrying him.

However, what is unexpected is that their marriage, which had almost experienced untold hardships, disintegrated in less than two months. The reason was ridiculously simple, but thought-provoking: it was just because of a plate of pickles.

Men like to eat pickles since they were young, and always regard garlic eggplant, sugar garlic, etc. as the main course, but women are not used to eating them.For this reason, the two of them had some small quarrels, and the man also changed his mind, but because of his careless personality and the fact that he really likes to eat pickles, he often forgot what women like to eat.The woman has been holding back.

Then one day, she couldn't bear it anymore, and had a big fight with him, saying that she couldn't stand such a life.She felt that he didn't love her enough. At first he was quite guilty for his own carelessness, but when she heard her say that, she became angry too. She just thought she was too hypocritical and said, "I can eat it all, why do you always eat it?" You can’t eat it, it’s not like you’re being poisoned.”…

After quarreling, they decided to divorce.No one was sad when they left, and they all forgot how hard it was to get together.Forgot to think about it, the parents' opposition could not stop their inner persistence; the geographical difference could not stop their unyielding love, but for a small plate of pickles, the love was destroyed.

Perhaps this is the downside of underestimating the little things.

There are many small and trivial things in life. If both husband and wife can handle each of them in a reasonable way, the relationship will become more warm and deep in these small things.Little things are not small, and when they accumulate, they form a marriage called happiness.

Be kind to the little things in love, which will leave the warmest fragrance to the one you love.Love in marriage will be sweeter, and love will last forever.

Life is trivial and life is dull.Food, rice, oil, salt, basic necessities of life, etc., all of these must be faced every day after marriage.The two people spent too much time in the busy and rushing after marriage, so they lost the love affairs, sweet talk and romance. As time passed, the original freshness and passion of the marriage gradually faded away. People also become a little numb and indifferent.In fact, whether a marriage is always fresh and full of passion requires two people to create and embellish it. If you can often discover the beauty of marriage, then marriage will always be happy and sweet.

Married life is also composed of ordinary love details. As long as the husband and wife can interpret every detail of life in harmony with love, as long as they inject love into every detail of life, then the marriage they have will be the best. perfect marriage.

2. Put the other person first

the person who will accompany you to the old age

I once heard a psychological lecture, in which a psychological expert said when talking about family life: "Women should put their husbands first, and men should put their wives first, so that the family will be harmonious and beautiful. If both parties If you put your children or yourself first, the family will break up sooner or later!"

There is such a psychological test related to it:
In a university in the United States, a professor played a game with his students.The professor asked a student to write down the names of 20 people he couldn't let go of on the blackboard.The students did so and wrote down a series of names of their relatives, friends and neighbors.

The professor said: "Please cross out the person who you think is the least important." The student crossed out the name of a neighbor.

The professor said again: "Please cross out one more." The student crossed out another colleague.The professor said again: "Please cross out one more." The student crossed out another... Finally, there were only 4 people left on the blackboard, the student's parents, husband and child.

The classroom was very quiet, and the students looked at the professor quietly, feeling that this was no longer a game.

The professor calmly said: "Please cross out one more." The student hesitated, making a difficult choice... She raised the chalk and crossed out the names of her parents.

"Please strike out one more." The professor's voice came again.The girl was stunned. She tremblingly raised the chalk and slowly crossed out the child's name.Immediately afterwards, she cried "Wow", looking very painful.

After she calmed down a little, the professor asked:
"The people closest to you should be your parents and your children, because your parents are the ones who raised you, the children are your own, and your husband can be found again, but why is he the most difficult thing for you to let go of?" What about people?"

The classmates looked at the female classmate quietly, waiting for her answer.

The girl said slowly but firmly: "As time goes by, my parents will leave me first, and the children will definitely leave me when they grow up. The only one who will really accompany me through my life is my husband."

It can be seen from this that although there are many people who you think are very important in your life, they will all leave you one day, and only your significant other will accompany you when you are middle-aged or old !Therefore, a wise person will always put his other half first, so that he can have a happy life.

Interpretation of affection - each other first
Anyone who has watched "Spider-Man III" should remember this sentence that Spider-Man's aunt said to Spider-Man who was about to propose to his girlfriend: "As a husband, always put your wife first. You are ready Yet?"

Maybe men pay little attention to this sentence, but I believe that no matter whether they are married or unmarried women, they all hope that the men around them can remember this sentence and practice it.

Of course, putting your wife first does not require you to give up all your interests, friends, and social relationships and only focus on your wife; it does not require you to give up your ideals, career, and pursuits and only care about your children; And to be a slave to feelings.

To put your wife first is to understand the loneliness of your wife, and not to let her wait alone in the dark for you to come back when you are drunk—maybe she is looking forward to a you who knows you will not come back; it is to feel the pain and sorrow of your wife, You will not stand by or walk away when she is tearful and hysterical; you are tolerant of your wife's willfulness and stubbornness, and you will not say that she is unreasonable and unreasonable when she complains; it is to remember and fulfill all the promises you made to your wife , can't let her lose hope with a blank check.

If a man wants to get the care of a woman, he must treat her with his heart, not let her get hurt, and put her in the most important position in your heart.It is said that men have two choices, one is love and the other is career.If you really understand women, if you are really a smart man, you should put your lover first, so that you will be successful.

Similarly, a smart woman will not become a stumbling block in a man's career, but will only become a driving force for him to move forward, and can also help him in his career.

The neighborhood committee should select the most loving couple in the streets under its jurisdiction.After several screenings, 3 couples were shortlisted.Therefore, the neighborhood committee informed the three couples to go to the neighborhood committee office on Saturday morning to participate in the final evaluation.

The 3 couples came as scheduled, and they hugged each other and sat on the chairs outside the office of the neighborhood committee, waiting for the judges to summon them.

The judges invited the first couple into the office and asked them to talk about how they were in love.The wife said that she was paralyzed a few years ago and was bedridden. The doctor said that it was very unlikely that she could stand up. She was so desperate that she almost committed suicide.But her husband encouraged her to live on, sought medical treatment for her in many ways, never left her, and took care of her for several years without complaint.Under the care of her husband, she finally stood up again.Her story was very touching, and the judges were all moved when they heard it.

Then came the second couple. They said that they had never blushed or quarreled in the 10 years of marriage. They have always loved each other and respected each other as guests.The judges listened and nodded secretly.

It was the turn of the third couple, but the third couple did not come in for a long time.The judges got a little impatient waiting, so they walked out of the office to see what happened.I saw the third couple still sitting on the chair by the door, the man's head resting on the woman's right shoulder, already asleep.One of the judges was about to go forward to wake up the man, but the woman put her finger to her lips and made a silent motion, then carefully took out a piece of paper and a pen from her bag, wrote a line and handed it to judges.When doing this, she was doing it with her left hand, and her movements were gentle, for fear of waking her husband up. Her right shoulder remained motionless, holding her husband's head firmly.

The judges looked at the note, because the writing was written by a woman with her left hand, so the handwriting was crooked, but everyone could still see it clearly. There was such a line on it: Don't make a sound, my husband didn't sleep well last night.One of the judges picked up a pen and added a sentence: But we want to listen to your husband and wife's story, and not waking up your husband will affect our work.The woman took the pen and paper and wrote crookedly with her left hand: Then we will not participate in the competition, and nothing is more important than letting my husband have a good night's sleep.

The judges were all horrified. This woman actually gave up the appraisal in order not to disturb her husband's sleep.But they still decided to wait a while.

An hour later, the man woke up, and the woman's right hand was finally able to move. She took out a tissue from her bag, trying to wipe off the saliva from the corner of the man's mouth, but the tissue fell off just as she raised her hand in the air. The man asked her what was wrong, she smiled softly and said, "It's okay." At this time, one of the judges couldn't wait any longer, pulled the man and walked to the office, the woman stretched out her left hand to gently massage her right shoulder, she Seeing several judges looking at her with concern, they smiled apologetically and said, "It's really all right, it's because his shoulders are numb from being pressed by his head for too long."

After the man was invited into the office, the judges asked him why he slept so deeply.The man smiled embarrassedly and said, "My house lives on the first floor, and there are many mosquitoes. I was woken up by mosquitoes in the middle of the night last night, only to find out that the mosquito coils at home were used up, and there was no place to buy them in the middle of the night. I was afraid that my wife would come again." She was woken up by the bite, so I chased away the mosquitoes for her, and I didn't go to sleep for the rest of the night." The judges were stunned and stunned for a while, and no one made a sound.

As a result of the evaluation of the most lovable couples, the neighborhood committee added two awards. The first couple was rated as "a couple sharing weal and woe", and the second couple was rated as "a couple who respect each other as guests". However, the real "most loving couple" award was given to A third couple.

A truly loving couple always puts their other half first, not themselves. The wives and husbands in the story are people who sacrifice everything for their lovers.

Put each other first at all times, with heart to heart, both husband and wife will eventually achieve great results, if you give your lover a star, your lover will give you the whole sky!

3. Use a magnifying glass to see each other's strengths
"no one is perfect".Everyone has weaknesses and strengths, it depends on how you look at each other's strengths and weaknesses.Even if the other party has very small shortcomings, but you have to use a magnifying glass to look at them, it will become a big and unforgivable shortcoming; similarly, even if the other party has great advantages, you always ignore them. There will never be an advantage in the eyes.And recognize the strengths of the other party, learn the strengths of the other party, even if the other party's strengths are small, you will find a way to dig out, and use a magnifying glass to see the other party's strengths, this can be said to be a matter of a person's mentality.

The Secret to a Happy Marriage
A happy marriage requires both people to have correct understanding, careful consideration, good communication and long-term coordination.Marriage is to put love into life, open one eye to see each other's strengths, and close one eye to ignore each other's shortcomings.In marriage, it's more about learning to be the right person than finding the right one.

A woman marries the man she loves dearly.

(End of this chapter)