no-complaint marriage

Chapter 22 Love manifests itself in every detail of life (3)
In the past, you always stayed at my house and didn't leave; now, you don't answer the phone several times.Before I got married, you circled me like a mosquito, and I was so annoying; now, I have made a "spider web" to the level of a "prawn", but I still can't catch you, a little bug.

In the past, you were my best follower when I went shopping. I walked from East Street to West Street without feeling tired. Now, I go shopping by myself, and I buy new clothes for you to wear. It looks good without mentioning it.In fact, you think it is too troublesome to accompany me to the fashion store to exchange.

In the past, you said that you fully respected me and gave me all the freedom; now, you say that a man is romantic and a woman is depraved, and you can go out to socialize as you like. world.

Alas, I really can't figure out why such an excellent woman like me would live with someone like you, and have lived for so many years.

dear wife:
It was very touching to read your letter.But when I think about it carefully, I feel that you lack dialectical materialism and the basic ability to see a problem in two. You see things too one-sidedly. You only see the trees but not the forest. My husband who loves you very much decided to write the following letter letter, please refer to it.

Before I got married, I spent my salary myself, which was a standard small sum; after I got married, I handed over all the salary to you, and it took me a long time to calculate a pack of cigarettes, often 1 jiao was used as 2 jiao.

Before marriage, you can scold me whatever you want; after you get married, you can still scold me whatever you want, and now you have upgraded to be able to beat me whatever you want.Whether married or not, I dare not scold you, and I dare not learn to beat you.

Before marriage, I was free; after marriage, everything about me is yours. You can read letters casually, and turn in pockets at any time. You always keep your eyes wide open and vigilant, confiscating my poor things with lightning speed. private money.And I can't read your letter, I can't flip through your bag casually, otherwise it will violate your right to privacy.

If there is one apple, then you and your son will each have half;

You can buy clothes at any time, no matter how much it costs, you don’t bat an eyelid; you buy my clothes at a discount, and they’re less than 3% off;

When you are on a business trip, it is normal and right for you not to bring me something; when I go out, buying souvenirs is the top priority.If you come back empty-handed, you'll be pissed, and for days.

When you go back to your mother’s house, you buy big and small bags confidently; when I go back to my house, you say there are so many people, so you don’t need to buy them.And I dare not have the slightest resistance.

You can call me "dear" when you are happy, and "bastard" when you are unhappy; whether I am happy or not, I will call you "little sweet" and "dear".

You also often ask me some very difficult questions, such as: "If I fell in love with someone else, what would you do?" I replied: "Take a knife and kill him." You beat me hard and said: " Selfish, narrow-minded, and cruel." I hurriedly changed my words and said, "If you really love him, I will help you both." But you began to cry: "It turns out that you don't love me at all, and you want to take this opportunity to get rid of me." I really don't know how to answer you.Now I still can't figure it out, you seem to be right all the time.

But, no matter what, I love you, love you very much.Marrying you is the greatest happiness in my life.

These are two letters that seem to be a reconciliation between the husband and wife, but both husband and wife express their love to us in humorous language, let us realize that in marriage, both husband and wife are silently dedicating, this kind of love It seems to be a matter of course, but how can there be a free lunch in the world?Romain Rolland said: "In marriage, everyone has to give and at the same time take back something: this is the law of supply and demand." In fact, this sentence is not entirely true, but it also makes sense. How about living with heartless people?If couples want to maintain their love for a long time, they must learn to keep a list of each other's love.Only in this way can the love in marriage be kept fresh at all times.

6. Learn to appreciate and praise

Many female friends think that being in love is everything, and that as long as there is love in married life, they will be happy.In fact, love alone is not enough.

"For the continuation of love and the happiness of marriage, the husband must please his wife, but the wife must also please her husband. As for how to please, praise and appreciation are a good way."

to appreciate and praise your wife
Between husband and wife, it is women who need compliments the most, because they like to hear compliments.For emotional women, proper compliments can resolve their grievances and make her feel recognized. She will pay for other people's compliments, even if there is nothing in return, she thinks it is worth it.If the husband can often praise his wife, they will not be so prone to disputes over the trivial matters of life.In addition, compliments on a woman's appearance must be realistic, which requires a man to quickly capture the greatest advantage of his wife and find the point of entry for compliments.For example: Some women are not beautiful, but have a good temperament; some women are short, but you can praise her for being small, with delicate and fair skin.In short, every woman must have her real admirable aspects, it depends on whether a man will find it.

A tribal chief in Africa had three daughters. The first two daughters were smart and beautiful, and they were all married off with nine cows as dowry.Locally, this is the highest standard of dowry.When it was time for the third daughter to get married, no one was willing to offer nine cows to marry, because she was not only not beautiful, but also lazy.Later, a tourist from a distant country heard about this and said to the chief, "I would like to exchange nine cows for your daughter." The chief was very happy and really married his daughter to a foreigner.

A few years later, the chief went to visit his third daughter who had married far away.Unexpectedly, his daughter could cook delicious food to entertain him, and the ugly girl in the past became a beautiful woman with refined temperament.The chief was shocked and secretly asked his son-in-law: "Are you a wizard? How did you train her to be like this?" The son-in-law said: "I didn't train her, I just always firmly believe that your daughter is worth 9 cows. Appreciate and praise her according to the standard of 9 cows, so she has been doing according to the standard of 9 cows, it's as simple as that."

It can be seen that the appreciation and praise of the husband is extremely important to the wife.The husband's appreciation and praise can make the wife out of the shadow of inferiority. It is not difficult to imagine that if the tourist in the story does not treat his wife with appreciation and praise, then the chief's third daughter will always live in a life that is not as good as the two sisters. in the shadows.

Every woman has a pure and lovely heart like a child, and she hopes to be loved, tolerated and protected by others.Some husbands cannot tolerate their wives, and the wives naturally feel pain.There is a metaphor that in the world of sexual life, men are trees and women are nests on the trees; men are the sky and women are free-flying birds.Wu Xiaoli, a famous host of Phoenix TV in Hong Kong, has already tied the knot. Her criterion for choosing a spouse is that she will always be a happy bird by his side, free and at ease.The famous movie star Shen Danping once said that the reason why she married a German man was because she received sincere appreciation and praise from him, which made her abandon the inferiority complex brought about by her strict parental education in her childhood.When women have sweet love, they will work harder to pursue career success.

Appreciate and praise your husband
For a wise wife, she also compliments the man appropriately.When a man finishes something, she should sincerely say to him: "You are awesome!" Such compliments will make a man feel warm and happy, and make his fatigue disappear.

When a woman praises and appreciates a man, it is "the splendor of the sun shining on the earth" for a man.Praise and appreciation can make true love stronger and make true love never grow old.

"It is not that there is no beauty in the world, but that there is a lack of eyes to discover beauty."As long as you use your heart, you will find the bright spots in the other party at any time, and then praise their strengths, praise their interests, and agree with their thoughts.There are many ways to praise, it can be sweet words or material rewards.If you lament that your marriage is like a pool of stagnant water, you might as well pour your praises into it gently, and appreciate everything your lover does at any time, I believe it will definitely arouse beautiful ripples.

There is a woman who is busy with work all day long, and her husband has been silently standing behind her to support her career, and even gave up the chance of promotion.When she came back late, he waited for her with supper; every morning he always made breakfast before waking her up... And she seemed to be used to it, as the days passed, everything seemed to be taken for granted.In essence, the husband is distressed. He is not sure if she loves him. He thinks of divorce, but he hasn't figured out how to tell her.

Just during this period, the woman read a book about appreciation and praise, and suddenly realized that she should appreciate and praise her husband with all her heart and soul. He has paid so much for her silently.On this day, after returning home, she made a big dinner for the first time.When my husband came back, he was surprised.After eating, she did not go to work in front of the computer for the first time, but said something like this to her husband: "I have achieved today because of you. I thank you for your support and love. I I know, you are the best husband. These years, I have been openly accepting your love, but I am always embarrassed to express it. I hope you know that you are the person I love the most. If there is an afterlife, I will definitely marry Here you are, you are the person I love the most in my life..."

After hearing this, the husband was very moved. He hugged his wife tightly, knowing that she still loved him.He was thinking, tomorrow morning, I will burn the divorce agreement on the desk.The woman is also thinking, in the future, I will definitely appreciate and praise all the good things about my husband, and express my gratitude to my husband for his help.

It is appreciation and praise that makes true love stronger and never gets old!Therefore, as a wife, you must not be stingy with complimenting your husband. A word of praise is like a hot spring gushing out of an iceberg.

When you come home late for some reason and your husband brings a bowl of hot noodles to you, you should say in time: "It's delicious, it's not worse than a restaurant at all!" When cleaning, you should say in time: "You have to work and take care of the house, it's really hard!" When a careless husband occasionally forgets to put salt in a dish, you should forgive him and say: "The important thing is Once the dishes are cooked, it’s fine to have something to eat..." In fact, expressing love is really simple.

Every man is actually two people, one is his true self, and the other is his ideal self.A wife's job is to help her husband become the man he wants to be.

There are few men who do not jump for joy when they are complimented by their wives, or when they hear, "You are amazing, I'm so proud of you, I'm so glad you're mine."

A man can be not only what he wants, but also what his wife expects.A wife's outlook on life, and how well she boosts her husband's morale, can make or break a man's career success.

A celebrity once said: "No propagandist, salesman, name rememberer... will be better than a smart wife." Yes, a wife who can "paint" her husband at the right time will undoubtedly Better send your husband to the pinnacle of his career.

Therefore, smart wives will never forget this trick: praise their husbands, appreciate their strengths, praise their strengths, and "blow" their husbands to a higher peak!
A caring lover can seize the fleeting scene, express his feelings without hesitation or shyness, and use affectionate words to ignite the flame of love for the other party, so that the marriage will emit dazzling sparks.

7. Learn to empathize

Long live understanding
To maintain a marriage, love alone is not enough. It is also necessary to learn to empathize and be considerate of each other.

Sometimes, if a small matter is considered from a different angle, the opposite result will be obtained.It may enhance each other's feelings, or it may cause a family war!
This conclusion can be drawn from the following story:

Two years ago, my husband went to Hong Kong to apply for a visa.

When he came back, he bought some gifts for his parents, sister, son, and colleagues.

He bought a watch for himself for more than 2000 yuan, but he didn't buy anything for his wife.He just said to his wife, "I wanted to buy you a watch, but I don't have enough money."

The wife said, "It doesn't matter." She didn't take this matter to heart.

Later, during a small chat, a colleague mentioned that her husband would bring her gifts every time he went on a business trip.The wife talked about it.Unexpectedly, the colleague's reaction was very strong. He widened his eyes and asked her: "Your husband has done so much, why don't you get angry with him?"

Asked so that his wife was stunned.Maybe, should she really be angry?I can't help but think back to my thoughts at the time:
There is no need to say filial piety to the elderly.

Husband, without a watch, it will take two years to stay abroad, so it is right to buy one!What's more, before he left, I issued a death order asking him to buy a watch back!

His sister spent a lot of money on him.Almost all the clothes on my body were bought by my sister.So it is right to buy a set of cosmetics for my sister.

The brother-in-law is the head of the family.Of course, my sister spends money without the support of her brother-in-law.Bringing gifts to brother-in-law is also to save face for sister.should!
On weekdays, I handle all my son's business by myself, and it is necessary for a father to show his "emperor's grace" occasionally!

Husband's colleagues are there to take care of them on weekdays, and they are still needed for the next step to go through the formalities.

So, these gifts are well bought.But money was limited, so in the end I had no choice but to not buy it for my wife.Because the wife is one of her own.

My own family, of course, won't challenge me!

At that time, she thought so.She told her colleagues: Because my husband didn't treat me as an outsider, he didn't buy me a gift.

The colleague stared at his wife for a few seconds like watching a monster.Said: "Your heart is really wide!"

A long time later, at a suitable opportunity, the wife talked about the matter with her husband, and the husband also made a self-criticism.

A family war that did not happen, on the contrary enhanced the relationship between the two.In fact, husband and wife should learn to think differently. If a wife or husband no longer understands each other's intentions, is this still called living?Let us be able to empathize when dealing with some matters in marriage, remember, long live understanding!
Recognize your own way - empathy

Yan Bo and her husband enjoy the world of two, because Yan Bo is usually busy with get off work and rarely leaves work on time, so the task of making dinner falls on her husband.At the beginning, Yan Bo often took the initiative to buy vegetables, wash vegetables, and do dishes.But after a long time, because the vegetables and meat she bought were more expensive, and she was afraid of making the detergent handle rough, she simply pushed all these tasks to her husband.

(End of this chapter)