no-complaint marriage

Chapter 26 Marriage Preservative - Reflection (3)
There is an old couple who are nearly eighty years old. Both of them are suffering from illnesses, but they always respect each other as guests.They can often be seen supporting each other in and out, which makes young people envious.One day, a group of young people couldn't help but ran to the old man's house and asked the old man for the secret of love.The old man said calmly: "We have been together for decades, and the deepest experience is to respect and take care of each other. I seldom think of what love is. Even if I think of it, it is the kindness between each other."

Eun is longer than love.Maybe marriage is not a romantic thing. As time goes by, deep in the hearts of two people, the love may become weaker, but the grace will become stronger.In the life of hand in hand, mutual gratitude and repayment are the most precious.

Also heard this story:
Ms. Qian and her husband worked hard all the way from their hometown, loving each other, and their life was originally ordinary.The climax of the story happened after the husband got rich and the marriage was in crisis.Late that night, my husband came back from the outside smelling of alcohol, and said lazily, "Let's get a divorce." Ms. Qian was stunned for a moment, and replied calmly, "Okay. Let me make you a cup of strong tea. Ms. Qian calmly brought her husband a cup of strong tea, and then slowly packed their respective things.After tidying up, my husband finished his tea.A grown man finally burst into tears and said: "Let's not get a divorce. After we divorce, no one will make me tea every day."

A cup of tea can make countless eating and drinking men and women feel a lot of emotion; a cup of tea can re-bridge the rift in marriage.Behind this story is not because the husband was moved, but because the wife was grateful from the first day of marriage.Regardless of wind, frost, rain and snow, even if her husband gave her a gentle smile, she would be deeply grateful to him from the bottom of her heart.She is even more grateful to God for giving her a man who is not bad in nature, so that she and this man have a life experience of living together like fish and water.What she gave back to God was just a cup of ordinary tea, but she made a lost gentleman repent and learn to be grateful for marriage and life.

Nowadays, many couples gradually go from passionate love to numbness in their married life.There is a jingle: Touching your wife's hand is like touching your right hand with your left hand.

Indeed, there are quite a few couples who, after getting married, realize that something is wrong. They always compare their marriage with others: "Look at other people..." They just compare the shortcomings of their own marriage with the strengths of others.After going back and forth, it is inevitable that I will feel angry, complaining about my secret investment, and saying something like "I knew why I should have done it before", completely forgetting how I used to think about it, thinking about it, "the crowd is looking for him (her) Thousands of Baidu".It's as if a blind man rode a blind horse before getting married, and came all the way in the dark.

When we go hiking, we often encounter three forks in the road.We can only choose one of the roads to go on. Sometimes halfway through, we find that the road is quite rough, so we turn back and take another road, only to find that this road is not as easy to walk as before, with the same high bumps and shallow pits.The same is true of life, why can't we be grateful for life?A cup of tea, a meal, a pair of shoes, an umbrella, a caring look, a missed phone call, don't they have the driving force of life more than some illusory and beautiful scenes?
6. Love is not just asking for
human potential psychology
At work, a friend said to me mysteriously: "How about a psychological quiz?"

"Say it!" My curiosity suddenly arose.

"There are 5 kinds of animals, listen carefully: tigers, monkeys, peacocks, elephants and dogs. You go on an adventure in a virgin forest that you have never been to. With these 5 kinds of animals, there are many dangers along the way. You can't Bringing them to the end, you have to drop them one by one, in what order do you drop them?"

After thinking about it for a long time, I said: "Peacock, tiger, dog, monkey, elephant." "Hahaha..." My friend laughed and said, "As expected! You also gave up the peacock first."

Does peacock mean anything?My friend explained to me: the peacock represents your partner and lover, the tiger represents your desire for power and money, the dog represents your friends, the elephant represents your parents, and the monkey represents your children.The answer to this question means what you will give up first in difficult circumstances, so that you can see who you are.The peacock represents my lover?I was stunned.Under difficult circumstances would I abandon my lover first?Why did I give up the peacock first in the choice?Because I think the peacock is the last thing that can help me in a tough situation.I was very disapproving of my friend's evaluation, so I started to ask many people to make this game.As my friend said, without exception, the peacocks are the first to give up.When I finally revealed the answer, many people's reactions were the same as mine. Some people even said that the person who designed this game must be mentally abnormal.

I was calling a friend the other day and this problem came to my mind, so I asked him to do the same.After thinking about it for a long time, the man said to me: monkey, tiger, elephant, dog, peacock.To my surprise, he was the only person I met who ended up giving up the peacock.

"Why did you choose to give up the peacock in the end?" I kept asking.

He was taken aback by my question and said, "Yes, think about it, among all the animals, the peacock is the least capable of protecting itself. How could I easily give up and put it in a dangerous environment?"

I immediately understood my sorrow.

Small games reveal to us a person's potential psychology. In the process of our choice, we often think too much about what others pay us, but we don't think about what others need from us.

Many times, we think about how to get more from others from our own standpoint, and love is the same. People always want to find and get love, but they are always unwilling to give love. Let me ask, if no one is willing to give, So how would anyone get it?Since you are not willing to pay, how can you have the right to ask others to pay?Therefore, those who get true love are often those who are willing to give true love unconditionally and selflessly.Because love is in your heart, you don't need to look for true love at all, you have true love yourself, but you hide it deeply and don't want to share it with others.However, only the true love shared with others can be felt and enjoyed by oneself, because love is selfless, and love is for giving rather than asking for!

What is given is what is gained
Between husband and wife, if you love him (her), you should give unconditionally. Although he (she) does not seem to love you on the surface, you cannot ask him (her) for his (her) love. .Love is selfish, but it doesn't mean that you will be rewarded if you give, but if you don't give, it will definitely not be rewarded.So we can't not give because we don't get love.

Every woman wishes to be a princess in a fairy tale, always pampered by a prince, protected by many ministers of civil and military affairs, always loved, warmed and protected from harm.This is the most essential idea deep in the soul.Everyone thinks about what they get, but seldom thinks about how much they give.

In the two ends of love, one end is to ask, the other end is to give.Only when the two ends are balanced can love and marriage move forward smoothly without deviating from the track.Accepting seems easier and more natural than asking and receiving.Even when we make acceptance a habit, we become extremely selfish.

People live, nothing more than hope that they live a happy and happy life.And being able to be with the one you love, and being able to pay for the one you love is a great joy in life.Love represents a kind of responsibility, a kind of unconditional giving and sacrifice, love does not need to be repaid, what needs to be repaid is to make the other party happy forever.And the happiness of the other party is your happiness, and the happiness of the other party is your happiness. You should be happy with his (her) happiness and be happy with his (her) happiness.So when you feel that you love him (her), you have decided to pay or even sacrifice unconditionally for him (her), and only when this kind of dedication and sacrifice can bring him (her) joy and happiness, you Your dedication and sacrifice are meaningful, and the love you give can find its destination.

Although emotional dedication may not necessarily lead to a happy ending, if you don't know how to give at all, then the result will definitely not be perfect.Sometimes, we worry that there is no corresponding response or expected result for our efforts; sometimes, we have to reserve our feelings because of the shadow left by the previous injury.Therefore, getting along with two people is like doing business with a hawker in the vegetable market. They care about the emotional gains and losses, and they all want to make more money.

Calculated in this way, it seems that both of them are very shrewd, and neither of them wants to be an emotional fool.In fact, such people are real fools.

A girl asked the wise man:
"I don't know what's wrong with me. I have asked many things from my lover and he has fulfilled them all. However, I am always dissatisfied and wish he could give me more. Am I a greedy person? "

The wise man smiled and did not answer.

The girl said again: "For example, at the beginning I hoped that he would visit me once a week, and he did so. I also hoped that he would bring me some gifts when he came, and he did so. I asked him to visit me every time, Sing a song for me, and he did it again. I still resented him, thinking he was too obedient to me, and had no personality at all. Later, he stopped obeying me in everything, and I was even more dissatisfied, thinking he was too cold Ruthless. I'm always demanding him, always dissatisfied with him, what's wrong? I know, I love him."

"Since you love him, then give your love," said the wise man, "at that time, you will experience what is satisfaction."

The girl tries to give her love.

She wrapped her love carefully, held it in both hands and sent it to her boyfriend: "This is my love, please accept it!"

The boyfriend was very pleasantly surprised, he took it carefully and kept it in his heart.Seeing her boyfriend's surprised expression and his cherishing love for her, the girl smiled, and she finally felt a kind of satisfaction that filled her heart.

True satisfaction never comes from taking, but from giving.When you give rather than take your love, you truly claim your love.Because the love from the heart can not only infect each other, but also infect oneself.

(End of this chapter)