no-complaint marriage

Chapter 6 Be a Virtuous Wife (5)
As for Eileen Chang herself, she has personally experienced such isolation and helplessness—the despair caused by unreliable men.She, who loved the big traitor Hu Lancheng deeply, went looking for him time and time again, but he frequently had affairs with other women, and in turn accused Zhang Ailing, relying on Zhang Ailing to send him money to survive.

This is Zhang Ailing's only love. She loves like a raging fire, like life and death, and she puts herself into it and forgets everything.

Because she loved too deeply, she was extremely emotionally dependent on Hu Lancheng, but she was hurt the most.After waking up, she realized that men are not omnipotent backers, so she resolutely left Hu Lancheng. When she left, she once said to him: "I will wither myself."

Later, after she passed away, that man was still chewing and selling Zhang Ailing's love and affection for him for money.

She only relied on him emotionally, but the result was withering.What is withering is not only youth, but also love, and the talent of a generation of talented women.

Some women, like Eileen Chang, do not rely on men in life and finances, but rely too much on men emotionally, not only exhausting themselves, but also causing boredom to men.

Because love is spiritually attached to men, and it is the number one enemy of women's independence.What is love?The most important thing is equality, absolute equality in spirit, this kind of love is true love.And if any one party dominates, it cannot be called true love.

Men and women live together, whether they are happy or not depends on the joint efforts of both parties and mutual love.A woman must know how to rely on a man, which makes him full of protective desires, and also has a sense of independence, so that she will not be like a dodder flower that can only survive on other plants, and cannot survive without the support of a man.

Men like to let their loved ones rely on them, but they are not omnipotent backers.They yearn for a partner who is by their side, an understanding wife, not a "child" who depends on him for everything, or a "difficult woman" who is too emotionally dependent on him, making him feel too tired to be entangled.

Treating your husband gently makes him feel relieved and comfortable, makes him relax, makes him happy and has a man's sense of accomplishment.Being independent and assertive is an external display of a woman's unique temperament, self-cultivation and talent. It can release the unique charm of a woman, and her gestures are full of special taste.

When he is tired, give him a cup of warm tea, which will refresh his heart; when he is depressed, give him some free time and space to adjust his mentality... There are too many insignificant things in life, so don’t worry about it. Trouble him endlessly with everything...

Such a woman is more likely to make a man feel happy and relaxed in life.Their marriage can also allow them to have a sense of comfort that is flexible and comfortable.

9. Manage the money box
As the saying goes: "There is a rake for holding money, but there is also a box for money." It means that men can earn money, but they can't keep it. This requires women to use a "box" to check.This is an ancient saying. In today's society, although women also work and earn money like men, a man is still a man. His nature cannot be changed, and women are still needed to check for him. Now it is called financial management.

Financial management is the responsibility of the wife

Financial management is a process for people to rationally manage their own financial resources in order to achieve their life goals, and it is a process that is carried out throughout their lives.In layman's terms, financial management is centered on "management of money". By focusing on the three links of saving money, making money, and protecting money, the current and future cash circulation is well managed, so that assets can achieve steady and continuous growth on the basis of value preservation. Add value, so that you have money in your pocket at any time.The ultimate goal of financial management is to achieve financial freedom and live a happy and beautiful life.

Confucius said: "A gentleman loves money, and he should get it in a proper way; a gentleman loves money, and he should manage it in a proper way." Here, "taking" means making money, and "governing" means managing money.No matter how strong a person's ability to make money is, if he doesn't know how to manage money, he will still end up empty-handed and worry about food and clothing in his later years.In a family, if the husband and wife have earned money, they must manage it reasonably, so that they can live a prepared and planned life at all times, so that when emergencies occur in the family, they will not be rushed.Most men are very careless. If the husband consciously starts managing money, it would be too late. Therefore, as a wife, one should have such a responsibility to manage the family reasonably. In fact, this is also managing the marriage.However, we must also pay attention to some issues in financial management, so as not to get good rewards out of good intentions.

There was such a story:
The Stubborn Man, the Madha, the Lazy Man, and the Clever Ghost travel together and get lost in the desert when they have run out of water.When the four were exhausted, God gave them four cups and a rain.But one of the four cups had no bottom, two of them were half filled with dirty water, and only one cup was usable.

The stubborn man gets a cup that can be used, but he is desperate. He stubbornly believes that even if he drinks water, he will not be able to get out of the desert, so when it rains, he turns the cup down and refuses to take water.

What Ma Daha got was a bad cup without a bottom, but he was too sloppy to discover the defect of the cup, and when it rained, he didn't catch a drop of water.

What the lazy man got was a cup containing dirty water, but he was too lazy to pour out the dirty water. He continued to use it to catch water when it rained. Although it was filled up quickly, he fell ill and died after drinking it.

What the witty ghost got was also a cup containing dirty water. He poured out the dirty water first, and received a cup of clean rainwater again. In the end, he was the only one who walked out of the desert safely.

The experience and lessons of this story are very helpful for family financial management.Affected by traditional concepts, many "financial management" people, like the "stubborn man" in the story, only look for the bank savings and refuse to accept various new financial management methods, making it difficult for their financial management income to withstand the price Rising, resulting in the depreciation of family wealth.Some people, like "Ma Daha", only know how to make money continuously, but ignore the scientific management of wealth. In the end, due to investment mistakes such as improper stock trading, their family wealth has shrunk or even lost their money. Funnel-type financial management.Some are like "lazy men", although they pay attention to the management of new income, they are too lazy to readjust the original bad financial management methods, or they have a fluke mentality, and the potential risks have not been ruled out. As a result, the original improper financial management has affected the overall financial management financial income.There are also many investors, like the "smart ghosts", sorting out the risky and low-yield investment projects in the family, that is, pouring out the dirty water first, and then actively embracing new financial management methods, thus achieving better financial management. Effect.

The "Cup Philosophy" tells us that investors should keep pace with the times, pay attention to abandoning stubbornness, sloppiness and laziness in financial management, and actively learn from the "smart" financial management methods to flexibly adjust and optimize the family's investment structure. "Rainwater" is continuously poured into your cup, so that you can embark on a worry-free journey of steadily increasing the value of your financial management.

Are you a financial expert?

As a wife, how can I manage my money well and be a financial expert?

First, start by saving money.Saving money is the starting point of financial management.Income is a river, wealth is a reservoir, the money spent is the water flowing out, and only what stays in the reservoir is your wealth.If you want to save money, you must develop the habit of living within your means throughout your life and consume reasonably.In today's society, if a wife wants to manage the money box well, she must first manage herself.Because most women like to go shopping, they want to buy things they like, and husbands have a kind of psychology of doting on their wives and often encourage them to spend.Therefore, in terms of spending, we must check well and try our best to restrain impulsive consumption. The wife should be more careful and make a list of things to buy at home every month. Try not to buy things that you don’t want or don’t need to avoid waste.And try to reduce the number of times you go to the supermarket. It is best to develop a good habit, specify when to go, and then prepare all the things you need at once.

Although it is convenient to use credit cards for consumption, you should use them with caution.Because credit cards are the culprit of impulsive spending, it will cause people to spend without feeling, so throwing away the credit card in hand is a good way to restrain impulsive spending.Of course, you can keep one on hand if you think it is necessary, but use it sparingly and try to pay in cash as much as possible, so you will spend less money and have more water for your water tank.

But no matter what you do, you must have a degree. If you are too frugal, you will become stingy.Da Vinci once said: "Normal thrift is a virtue, but stinginess is the most repulsive vice." The result will be like Grandet in "The Miser", who does not know how to consume or enjoy, and becomes a slave to money. Slaves, and eventually misers.A wife who manages money in this way will also annoy her husband and will not achieve good financial results.

Secondly, it is not enough to just save money, you must also learn to invest, let money generate money, and generating money is the focus of financial management, otherwise, the money will always be the original number.The money in the reservoir can be divided into three parts:
The first one is called emergency money.The living expenses for half a year to one year should be reserved, and the money should be deposited in the form of current savings, and of course you can also buy some money market funds.

The second is called life-saving money.Living expenses should be kept for 3 to 5 years.The money can be parked in the form of regular savings, or partly bought into treasury bonds.

The third part is spare money.It is money that will not be used for 5 to 10 years. This money can be used to buy stocks, funds, and real estate in order to obtain high returns. Of course, you must be prepared to lose money.

Pension insurance can also be bought, but it is not the only means. Investment funds can also be used for pension.Whether you can provide for the elderly depends on whether there is enough water in your reservoir.

Finally, buy insurance, buy protection-type insurance, such as personal accident insurance, hospital insurance and term life insurance.In this way, when you have an accidental loss, the insurance company will provide you with compensatory financial support, otherwise your home's reservoir may burst.Buying insurance is about achieving financial security.

Before getting married, Zhang Ming belonged to the typical "moonlight" family.After getting married, although Zhang Ming's annual income has increased year by year, but not by much, but in the fifth year, the family already has a considerable savings.After ten years of marriage, Zhang Ming discovered that his family was already a working family with millions of assets.And all of this, Zhang Ming said, is due to his wife's reasonable financial planning.

Five years ago, Zhang Ming wanted to buy a car, but his wife bought a front house with the saved money. Zhang Ming was unhappy for a long time.His wife explained: "When you spend money, you have to strictly distinguish between 'investment' and 'consumption'. Buying a facade house is investment, and buying a car is consumption. The market value of a facade house may double in 5 years, while buying a car in 5 years Afterwards, its value has basically disappeared, but the results of these two different ways of spending money are completely different. If two families with the same income and savings, one chooses to buy a car and the other chooses to buy a house, then after 5 years the two There is a big difference in the assets of two families, although their income may still be the same." Sure enough, the market value of the front house bought by his family has now tripled.

In daily life, Zhang Ming's wife often buys some work-related books for him according to his needs, and also buys back a complete set of books and CDs of the "Times Guanghua Management Course" at a high price.She would often visit some celebrity calligraphy and painting exhibitions and buy some oil paintings and antiques worth collecting, but she never agreed to accompany Zhang Ming to watch a movie with only 80 yuan.My wife said: "Buying learning materials and CDs are all 'investment' behaviors. Your increased knowledge and talents will be exchanged for income and you will have a better job. The investment in buying paintings is exactly the same as the investment in buying a house, but Watching movies is an act of 'consumption', and the money is given to others, and you can never get it back." Sure enough, 10 years later, due to his outstanding work, Zhang Ming has taken up a middle-level management position in the company, and his annual salary has also changed from 5 years ago. The original 8 yuan climbed to the current 20 yuan.

After getting rich, although the concept of "investment" and "consumption" of my wife's money has been relaxed, the monthly expenses will never exceed 50% of the monthly income. After the family bought a car, she spent nearly 5% of the car price The money is used to buy property, personal, medical and other insurance, and half of the deposit is used to buy government bonds and funds, but never invests in stocks, and keeps [-] yuan in the current account for a long-term family emergency.The wife said: "Our million-dollar family has been built, and my next task is to realize the preservation of family property, as well as investment in family health and son's education."

Zhang Ming's wife is an expert in financial management. She distinguishes between "investment" and "consumption", and chooses investment and consumption in a timely manner. It can be said that she has successfully managed the money box.In today's society, although money is not everything, but without money is absolutely impossible. It can be seen that financial management is a very important ability. How can a husband not like a wife who is good at financial management?
"Don't Complain" Proverb
Smart women know how to use gentleness to create an atmosphere of love, especially after she becomes a wife, she understands the importance of gentleness to a woman and marriage.

For a woman to be recognized by the people around her, to have a sweet love, a happy marriage, and a happy family, what she needs is not her beauty, but her wisdom; not her arrogance, but her sincerity; not her willfulness , but her empathy.

In order to have a harmonious marriage, the wife and husband must be friends and confidants, and they must treat the husband equally and treat him like a friend.And the key is to ask him like you ask a friend, and don't put too much pressure on him, so that it will be easier for you to communicate and get along.

Men have strong self-esteem, which hurts a man's self-esteem, and often causes a fatal blow to a man's spirit.A woman, if she really loves a man, it is best to treat his self-esteem as tenderly as your close friend.

Being a weak person in front of her husband will provide a platform for the husband to improve his self-confidence.After the husband realizes his own value, his latent enthusiasm will be aroused even more.

Women like to be dependent on men, and men also like to be dependent on women, but there must be a limit to all this.A smart woman understands that true happiness is to create a life together with her lover, and she needs to be independent to stand firmer in her marriage.

If a woman is not independent, it is easy to listen to and accept other people's opinions. Over time, it is easy to form a dependent mentality.If you respect other people's opinions while maintaining your own independence and assertiveness, such a woman will make men feel relaxed, not difficult.

(End of this chapter)