no-complaint marriage

Chapter 7: Be a Responsible Husband (1)
1. Abandon the "male" doctrine, you also have a part in the family
In traditional Chinese concepts, a successful career and loyalty are the hallmarks of a good man. In the past, they believed that "brothers are like siblings, and wives are like clothes." For their careers and "loyalty in the world", they can abandon and sacrifice their families, wives and children. .But now, the era when men are superior to women is gone forever, and people's ideas have also changed. Both men and women have realized that marriage and family need two people to run together, instead of letting the wife sing a one-man show on stage alone. This requires men to take responsibility and be a qualified husband who is considerate and caring for his wife.

A warm family is a paradise for happiness and leisure, a haven for avoiding risks, a place for self-cultivation, a cradle for family happiness, and a bonding point for emotions.Here we need not only a good wife who is kind, docile, capable, and virtuous, but also a good husband who takes care of the family, is responsible, open-minded, and filial.But there are many people with "male" chauvinism in life, as if family has nothing to do with him.

Two Artistic Conceptions of "Machismo"
When women praise a man, they use "what a man", and when they belittle a man to the extreme, they use "too big a man".

"Macho" sounds like a polysemy, so what is "macho"ism?There are two "artistic conceptions" of "male" chauvinism in life, one of which is: very nakedly following the idea of ​​"men are superior to women" in Chinese feudal society, no matter in the family or in society, he discriminates against women's ability and status .He believes that all power rests in the hands of men.At any time, he can't lower his head high in front of women. His domineering only shows his selfishness and hypocrisy, which makes the people around him feel no sense of happiness and security at all.There is basically no emotional and spiritual communication with his wife and children. He does everything he wants, even if he doesn't like it, he reprimands him harshly, and he fights with each other when he moves. He never cares about other people's feelings.Such a man is too masculine, he only likes to be a bystander at home, and thinks that home has nothing to do with him; he suppresses his wife with a domineering attitude, and it will only ruin his marriage.

The specific manifestations in this type of man's family are:

He has the final say on all matters big and small, and his wife has no right to speak, make decisions, or even know;
He is always right and his wife is always wrong;

When he is angry and angry outside, he must make up for all the grievances he has suffered from his wife, and treat his wife as his punching bag;

He is the master, his wife is the servant, and the wife should take care of all the housework, and he is used to sitting back and enjoying what he gets; outside, he yells at his wife to maintain his "dignity" as a man, and the wife can only swallow it;

He domineeringly asked his wife to treat him well, but he himself did not pay;

He preached "Three Obediences and Four Virtues" in front of his wife, making his wife virtuous and virtuous, while he himself ate, drank, whored and gambled;
He takes close care of his wife, doubts his wife, and is always worried that his wife will be unfaithful to him.

Another manifestation is "a man". A "big man" refers to a man who is always in a pivotal position in the society, work unit, and family. Although this man often shows his dominance, he can provoke the burden of life and bring a happy life to those around him. His words and deeds are convincing, admirable, and respected by all.In fact, this is the image of a man in people's minds, and such a man is a real man.Only they understand that family and marriage are two people's affairs, and they need to be jointly run and cared for by him and his wife.

His words are convincing and admirable, and he can be appreciated by women; he has a tolerant and generous heart like a man, and he will not care about the people around him for trivial matters; he takes it as his duty to protect his wife and children... Therefore , he is respected by women.

The specific manifestations of this type of man in the family are:
He thinks it is his duty to take care of his wife and children, and it is his fault that his wife and children suffer from cold, hunger, and wronged, and he will feel sad;

He didn't let his wife worry about him, and he carried it alone when he was wronged outside;

He doesn't take the initiative to start a war against his wife, he convinces others with reason, he knows that quarreling can't solve the problem, even if he gets angry again, he won't beat his wife;

His wife wants to show him face outside, but he doesn't have to lose face at home;
All mistakes are said at home, although he refuses to accept verbally, he will accept his wife's suggestion in his heart;

Although he doesn't talk about his love for family, he will put his wife and children in his heart;
He will give constructive advice on his wife's life, but he will not force her; he is magnanimous, reassuring and trusting in her, and he also believes in himself.The same "big man", but the two realms are very different.Women despise the so-called "macho" chauvinism the most. The "macho" chauvinism advocated by women is a gentle way of managing love, not a condescending oppression and domination.Women need equality, and men need to abandon the so-called "macho" chauvinism, take some responsibility for the family and marriage, and run the love nest with them.

It's easy to be a responsible husband

It is not difficult to be a responsible husband, as long as you do the following points, you can make your marriage happy and your family happy.

◎ Understand the importance of family

Even if a person has great abilities, he still needs to rest and adjust, and the family is an essential place to meet this requirement.Some people will say: "Not necessarily, men can live in hotels and hotels, where the facilities and services are first-class." Yes, but he can't live there all his life, because there is no family affection there.

◎No bad habits

The so-called bad habits refer to bad habits such as eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, cheating and bragging.Moderate drinking and very little smoking should be allowed, but don't be addicted to smoking and alcohol, become addicted to drinking, and spend money on consumption that damages your body.Men should not even do those "sneaky" activities.

◎Help wife share housework
A man should take the initiative to undertake the necessary housework and share the burden of his wife's housework. It is best to master a "housekeeping" skill, such as cooking, etc., and he can replace his wife from the stove at any time.

◎Remember special days
A husband should know his wife's hobbies and birthdays.On those special or commemorative days, give her a small gift and choose her favorite food or favorite clothes, so that the wife will be very grateful for her husband's efforts and will respond with more gentleness.

◎Know a little repair knowledge
For general minor problems with household appliances, you can't rely on your wife, the husband should be able to repair them easily.Don't let your wife be busy both inside and outside, doing women's work and man's work at the same time.

◎Have a strong sense of professionalism
As a man, you must keep making progress and create wealth for your family.If you don't have that ability, you should also be diligent and thrifty in housekeeping, don't eat indiscriminately, and be a contented person.

◎Know how to educate children

A man should also be a role model for educating children.Infect children with subtle education, persuasive methods, setting an example and insightful knowledge.I believe that children educated in this way must be promising.

◎Know how to take care of family members

A man should know how to take into account the needs of his family and give up his own needs appropriately.Don't hold the TV to watch football games, and completely ignore the needs of others. You must learn to give convenience to your wife and love to your children. Only in this way can you show your generosity.

◎Respect elders

A man should understand the social relationship between his family, relatives and friends, grasp the gains and losses of interests, take good care of his parents, support his parents-in-law, honor his parents during the holidays, greet and visit them on weekdays and holidays, and do their filial piety to make the elderly happy.

◎Harmonious married life
A man should know the timing and method of desire and craving, don't burn his ass and yell, just venting himself, completely ignoring his wife's feelings.Only by learning the necessary knowledge and giving the wife the enjoyment she deserves is a good husband.

Being a responsible husband is as simple as that, as long as you understand your wife more, be considerate and respectful, participate more in family and marriage, give more love, and have a sense of responsibility, then, It's hard for you not to be a good husband that everyone envies!

2. Understand the wife's emotional thinking
What is a woman?Some people say that a woman is made of water; some say that a woman is a rib of a man; some say that a woman is a sensual beauty-the interpretation of a woman varies from person to person. , Graceful is a woman, unbelievable is a woman, a woman is a watercolor painting full of ink and light strokes, a woman is like a story that is told.

Origin of women's sensibility
What the Bible says about men and women is:
1. The woman is made from the rib of the man, and the woman is taken from the man, thus confirming the subordinate status of the woman;
2. The snake first seduced the woman, and the woman was first seduced by the snake;
3. God is extremely angry with women and pronounces that husbands must rule over their wives;

4. Adam is severely punished for obeying Eve.

Women are the elves bestowed by the Creator on the earth, and the souls bestowed by God on all things in the world.

A woman has all the beauty in the world. A woman is a creature born in a day from a man's rib. She is delicate, beautiful, gentle and kind. Her tears and smiles can make you give the whole country willingly.Don't think that she is fragile, her motherhood and strength can shock men.

In the Bible, God was very angry at Eve being tempted by a snake to eat the forbidden fruit. He not only caused her pain, but also let her be governed by her husband, which is very similar to the Chinese tradition of husbands governing their wives.

In the Bible, the serpent succeeded in seducing the woman Eve, which also tells us from one side that women are less rational than men.

A woman is first and foremost a sensual animal.Because all women love to dream, especially the beautiful dreams in love. At this time, women will let their sensibility overwhelm their rationality. Women can look down on everything and give everything for their feelings. Sensibility makes women cute and gentle, and it also makes women act like a baby. jealous...

So, as a husband, you have to understand your wife's sweet dreams, instead of hitting her or hurting her.You should enlighten her and comfort her when she acts like a spoiled child to you or is jealous.Because these are one of her assets as a woman, let her love her and understand her.Although she is an emotional animal with emotional thinking, she is not unreasonable.In fact, you are truly blessed to have such a wife.

beauty of sensual woman
Emotional women are also very sensible, she will not fight with you, and will not make trouble with you for no reason.When you are depressed, she will silently comfort you by your side, or comfort you in other ways instead of arguing with you; when you are happy, she will look at you and smile, sincerely for you Happy, and will be happy to do anything with you.Sensual women may be a little sensitive, but a lot of it is for you.Sometimes, she thinks a lot about some things.At this time, you should not squeeze her out in an upset, but give her appropriate comfort, understanding and caring for her.Such a sensual woman is your friend, confidant, lover, wife!
No man likes a willful woman, but women have always been willful; no man likes a vain woman, but women have to pursue vanity wholeheartedly.Women can even be stingy, hypocritical, jealous, vengeful, and overwhelmed by wrong thoughts.

A senior film director said: "Except for really awkward actresses, most actresses do not need eye drops in tragedy." This sentence fully demonstrates the characteristics of women. When they mimic tragic emotions, It can be expressed freely, and the play of inner drama and the production of tears can be said to be women's special skills.

Why?Because women are the easiest to be emotional and sad, and their emotions come when they are called.

Women are picturesque, and different paintings have different scenery.

Women are like wine, different wines have different flavors.

Women are like books, and different books have different perceptions.

This is one of the differences between women and men, and men are not so easy to cry, even if they encounter difficulties, they will face them without thinking!I seldom think about "my life is so miserable" or "why am I so unlucky"!This may be the reason why "men don't flick their tears easily".

Crying is a way for women to vent when they are sad, and it is also a way for women to express their emotions.Because women are so emotional, when they are sad, they cry loudly, until the sky is dark, and after crying, everything will be fine; when they are happy, they will laugh out loud, and they will forget their troubles without a trace.This is woman.If you want to be a good husband, you have to understand your wife's emotional thinking, and you shouldn't find her wrong, and use not understanding her sensibility as a "dagger" to hurt her.

Learn to be rational with her sensibility

Emotional people do things based on their feelings. If they feel right, they are willing to do anything and give anything.Women are like this. They always use their personal emotions as the basis when encountering problems, and use their perceptual thinking to solve all problems. In layman's terms, they are emotional.

Ma Jing's wife is a very emotional woman. It can be said that his wife is the "Lin Daiyu" in today's society. His wife will feel deeply when a flower withers or a leaf falls.A poem, a song, an article, or a word can arouse her infinite reverie; a fallen leaf, a waning moon, and a sad melody can touch her sentimental heart... even his When a wife meets a homeless kitten or dog on the road, she will also show infinite love and affection.Faced with the parting and parting on TV, even though she knew it was sensational and tricked her into tears, she was still teary and her nose was moving, she was more charming than the heroine, as if she was that poor woman, Unfortunately it happened to her.When reading a novel, she will regard the protagonist in the book as herself, and the protagonist's emotions are her emotions.

Whenever his wife was like this, Ma Jing always laughed at his wife from the sidelines, and said some sarcastic remarks, belittled his wife, said that she cried too much, and sometimes even used this as an excuse to find his wife.Therefore, their house is always full of smoke and smog, and there are constant wars.

The reason why Ma Jing's marriage is unlucky is entirely caused by himself. Not only does he not understand his wife's emotional thinking, but he also feels that his wife is a little baffled.He speaks badly, speaks harsh words to his wife, and hurts his wife with the sharp "dagger" of not understanding.He is an unsuccessful man, because he did not discover the beauty of a sensual woman like his wife, let alone treat his wife's sensibility with reason.

A woman with a perceptual mind is cheerful, sunny, talkative, and humorous.They are kind, because respecting life is the label of every sensual woman; they are sensitive, because they feel the world with their heart; A touch of sadness; they are not necessarily the most enthusiastic, because not everyone can step into their world...

A woman with perceptual thinking is pure, she is like a spring flowing between green mountains and green waters; a woman with perceptual thinking is natural, she is like white clouds floating in the blue sky; a woman with perceptual thinking is beautiful, she is like the shore of West Lake A willow branch swaying in the wind; a woman with perceptual thinking is rich, she has an extremely brilliant inner world; a woman with perceptual thinking is rigorous, she will do everything she wants to try, without relying on any People; a woman with a sensual mind is charming, she has an extremely rich body language, telling you what she needs and what she refuses...

Every woman should be beautiful and lovely, and will become a beautiful scenery in the world.For this reason, this world is so wonderful.No matter how strong a woman is, she will be lonely without the support of a man, because women conquer the world by conquering men.

Women are emotional animals, and men are the protagonists who help them on their emotional journey.A man is also happy to have a sensual woman as his wife, because she is beautiful, knows how to care for others, and also knows how to cherish herself; she also understands that only with a beautiful mood, elegant temperament, and good self-cultivation can she exude the charm of a woman.

Man, isn't it a joy to have such a wife to accompany you through your life?

3. "Coaxing" also needs to master skills

As the saying goes: "Wives should be coaxed, husbands should be flattered." But many men think that coaxing their wives is because they are afraid of their daughter-in-law. "Wife control is strict" will make others laugh.In fact, a really good wife, after knowing her husband's thoughtfulness and concern, will not play tricks in front of everyone and make a fool of her husband.At home, if you coax her and let her feel that you love her so much and care about her, she will love you more.

Marriage needs the nourishment of sweet talk

There are quite a few men who think that after they get married, they don’t need to talk sweet words to their wives anymore. The end of the marriage seems to indicate that the battle has been won.It is a big mistake to think this way. In fact, marriage needs sweet words to nourish.Remember, the following sweet words never go out of style in a marriage, and you can say this to your wife from time to time:

Let the time fly by, let the years grow old, in my heart, you are always the most beautiful!
I will let you live the most comfortable and happiest life, and I must believe that I can do it!
If you don't like your job, don't do it, give me a chance, let me support you.

You are always my ice cream in summer and my little quilt in winter!
I know that you are also working hard, but I also know that you are for me, my child, and this family!

Just say what you want, don't save me money!
Loving you is the responsibility of my whole life!

Every woman will be moved when she hears such words from her husband.Although they know that their husbands are coaxing them, they are also happy.When they are tired at work, they will no longer complain, let alone resign and stay at home.On the contrary, they will understand the hard work of their husbands and lighten their burdens.

There is such a story that is enough to prove the benefits of a husband speaking more kind and sweet words to his wife in marriage.

He grew up in an orphanage and knew that everything had to be fought for.His fiancée, Sarah, was the only girl he ever dated, so he never missed a date.Sarah had taken over his heart.Before Sarah knew it, he had proposed to Sarah.

(End of this chapter)