Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 11 Independence and Confidence—A calm woman can only be calm when she remembers not to belittle herself (4)
Ladies, you should have your own interests.For anyone, only interest can enrich one's life and enrich one's soul.Many things may seem boring to others, but as long as you are interested in it, you will feel great fun from it.For many housewives, life is indeed very boring, because the daily process and content are very similar.If you want to change your life, you must find your interests.

Kasha is a carefree girl. The reason why she came to the training class was not because of worries, but to enrich herself.Kasha is very busy almost every day. Every time I announce that get out of class is over, she will rush to pack her things and leave the classroom.Once, I stopped her and asked, "Miss Kasha, are you in love?" Kasha smiled and told me that she was just in a hurry to attend a dance class.After speaking, Kasha rushed to the next class.Kasha is smart, she keeps herself busy, she doesn't have time to think about it, and life is enriched by it.

Compared with Miss Caxia, Ms. Oliver obviously hasn't found the right method yet. She confided to me distressedly: "Mr. Carnegie, although I have followed the method you taught, I am still not happy. My only My hobby is watching movies, but every time after watching a movie, I feel very sad, and feel that my life is too far from the life shown in the movie.”

Without hesitation, I told Ms. Oliver the secret of Kasha's happiness, and suggested that she cultivate a
Pick up some new interests so that you don't have time to worry.Oliver did as I said, and now, every weekend, she invites friends to go hiking, camping, and even learns to ski.Once, I met her by chance on the street, and she seemed to be in a hurry.I think she has no time to think about those troubles.

In fact, while changing our monotonous life, we sometimes discover our potential and bring surprises to our life.

My neighbour, Mrs. Watson, lost her husband a few years ago, and her children all started their own families and left her.Maybe others will think that her life must be boring, but the reality is that she lives a fulfilling and happy life.Mrs. Watson has a garden of her own, and she devotes almost all her energy to growing flowers.When the night comes, the neighbors will gather in Mrs. Watson's garden to enjoy the flowers and bring some small gifts to Mrs. Watson.

Of course, a garden is not enough. Mrs. Watson also likes to play bridge.Whenever she has free time, she invites friends of similar age to play bridge together, and organizes a bridge association, of which she herself serves as the president.Today, Mrs. Watson's Bridge Association is running decently, and its members have grown from a few to a dozen.

I am very pleased with Mrs. Watson's change.Not only is she living a fulfilling life, her mental state is also getting better and better.

Perhaps many women feel that their current living conditions do not allow them to enjoy life and develop hobbies. In fact, this kind of thinking is wrong.Happiness does not necessarily require money to be satisfied. Sometimes happiness is very simple, and you need to act immediately to seize happiness.Ladies, what are you waiting for?Change yourself, start now!

Be brave to take on your own responsibilities
Whether we like it or not, we grow older with each passing year.However, aging and mental maturity are not necessarily synchronous. To achieve mental maturity, we must learn to face up to our own responsibilities in life.For anyone, the first step towards independence and maturity is to bravely take on one's own responsibilities.It is true that bearing the consequences is much harder than shirking responsibility, but bearing the consequences is an essential step for everyone to become independent and mature.

When my youngest daughter, Donna, was a toddler, she moved a small chair into the kitchen and climbed onto it in order to reach the contents of the refrigerator.I noticed her attempt and rushed over to prevent her from falling.However, I was one step too late, and she fell off the chair without warning.I wanted to check on her injuries, but she kicked the chair angrily and said, "This stinky chair made me fall!"

Careful parents will find that children like to transfer responsibility very much.Even when they know it's their fault, they can still blame innocent bystanders or something irrelevant.For children, this behavior may not be surprising, but we must be careful not to let children continue this behavior pattern into adulthood.Although human beings have been inclined to blame others for their failures and faults since ancient times, we should still realize that we must bravely assume our responsibilities, which is a mature and healthy attitude towards life.

Even so, many people still like to blame others for their mistakes in life, because it is easier to blame others than to take responsibility themselves.In order to shirk responsibility, we will blame many people, such as our teachers, classmates, parents, friends, neighbors, etc. Sometimes we will also blame the government, schools, society, etc. There is nowhere to shirk responsibility, and we will also blame destiny.All of these seem clever, but they actually make us a coward who will never dare to take responsibility, and will never be truly mature and independent.

After a memory training session, a girl came up to me and asked me: "My memory is so bad that I can't improve it anyway. It's all genetic because my whole family has bad memory. I just lost hope " I immediately denied her and said, "This has nothing to do with genetics, it is caused by inertia. In your subconscious mind, it is easier to blame your parents than to try to improve your memory. Now, sit down and I will make you I believe that your memory can be improved completely."

Immediately afterwards, I performed a few simple memory exercises on the girl.Because of concentration, her practice works well.After my persuasion, she finally admitted that her poor memory was due to lack of hard work, not a genetic problem.

Parenting these days is really hard. Not only is it possible to be blamed by your children for passing on poor memory to your children, but you may also be blamed by your children for various irrelevant reasons.

There was a girl who lost her father since she was a child and lived with her mother. Instead of being grateful for her mother's careful upbringing, she complained that her mother had a bad influence on her life.It turned out that her mother was very strong and worked hard after her husband died, eventually becoming a very accomplished businesswoman.In order to take good care of her daughter, the mother did her best in everything, but it caused her daughter to feel great pressure because she felt that she was not as good as her mother.In this regard, the mother was very puzzled by her daughter's complaints, because she did not expect that her efforts to give her daughter a better life would cause such a great pressure on her daughter.In fact, it is not that the mother is too good to cause pressure on the daughter, but because the daughter is not good enough, so she is making excuses for herself.If I were the girl's mother, I really wanted to expose the truth and make the girl realize her mentality.

In fact, there is no necessary relationship between the quality of family background and a person's achievements.Although Abraham Lincoln was born in poverty, he never despised himself. Instead, he made unremitting efforts to finally break free from the difficult environment and achieve a great cause. In 1864, Lincoln made a great statement during his presidency:

"I am responsible to the American people, to Christendom, to history, and to God's final judgment." Perhaps the most courageous declaration in human history.For another example, although George Washington was born in a wealthy family, he did not lose his fighting spirit because of his luxurious life, and passed many tests to become the first president of the United States.It can be seen that no matter poverty or wealth, it cannot be a reason for children to complain about their parents.

If you think that the root of all your troubles is that you had an overly strict, authoritarian father, or an overly possessive mother, then live your life living that lie.Obviously, this is the best excuse you can come up with.Such comfort prevents you from recognizing the truth all your life, and prevents you from ever being able to shoulder your own responsibilities.

Remember: For those of us who wish to achieve spiritual maturity as we grow older, one of the laws of maturity is taking responsibility for our actions and accepting the consequences.

(End of this chapter)