Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 19 Cultivating the Mind and Cultivating the Nature—A Calm and Calm Woman Letting Elegance Emanate in Calmness and Tranquility (1)
Almost every woman wants to be perfect. This kind of perfection is not limited to beautiful appearance, but also includes exquisite appearance, elegant temperament, outstanding self-cultivation and charming charm.With the enrichment of life experience, every woman will constantly correct herself and cultivate herself. Over time, her appearance and temperament will naturally become refined and elegant.When the world is becoming more and more prosperous and impetuous, a delicate and elegant woman is like a light water lily in the sultry night, exuding a unique charm in indifference and tranquility.

be a delicate woman
In the previous content, I have always emphasized the importance of temperament and connotation, and I think they are more important than appearance.However, this does not mean that I deny the importance of personal appearance.Although appearance is only a small aspect when we evaluate whether a person has taste and self-cultivation, it is indeed the most direct and crucial.Ladies' dress, hair and make-up, or just a watch, a pair of earrings will directly reflect your pursuit of quality of life.Appearance is like a mirror, which can clearly reflect your inner taste, self-cultivation and style.

There is no doubt that women with temperament and connotation attract attention wherever they go. However, women should pay attention to their dress while paying attention to their inner appearance.No one likes a sloppy woman. In contrast, "seductive" is the instinctive choice of many men, including many women.Therefore, if you want to become a calm, elegant and high-profile woman, personal appearance is an aspect that cannot be ignored.When evaluating whether a person has high taste and good self-cultivation, appearance may be only a small aspect, but this aspect is very intuitive and very important.Everyone's dress and clothing decoration can show a person's appreciation taste and pursuit of life. Sometimes, even a ring or an earring can show a person's deep psychology.Therefore, for clothing and dress, every woman cannot ignore it.Only by being an exquisite woman who can dress and dress up can I attract the attention of others at the first time, so that others can understand us and appreciate us better.

Amtrak Director Herbert Worryland was no more than an ordinary section worker.In a speech, Herbert said: "Appropriate clothing is also very important to a person's success. I admit that a piece of clothing does not make a person, but a good suit can make you find a good job. Work. If you only have $50 on your body, then you should spend $30 on a nice dress, $10 on a pair of shoes, and the rest of the money you need to buy razors, ties, etc. Wait until this is done After that, you look for a job. Remember, don’t go to an interview with $50 in your pocket and a ragged suit.”

Mr. Watson of the New York Career Analysis Agency once said: "Almost all large companies will not hire female employees who do not know how to dress and make up, because they feel that a woman who does not know how to dress must also not know how to deal with it. Work on the Internet.” The personnel manager of a large retail store in Washington also said: “I must strictly abide by some principles when recruiting, and the prerequisite for determining whether any candidate can stand the test is his appearance. "

Ladies, don't you think this is a little ridiculous?Indeed, the size of an applicant's ability really has little to do with whether he can dress and make up properly.However, everyone has the pursuit of beauty, and the executives of the company are no exception.I don't think anyone wants to see a group of sloppy employees working in their company.

The principle of grooming as a job opening has been adopted throughout America, and was once praised and analyzed in the New York Cloth Merchant magazine.It says like this: "If a person pays great attention to personal hygiene and dressing, then he will definitely complete his work very carefully. On the contrary, if a person is unkempt in life, then he will treat his work with care." It's bound to be so-so. Whoever pays attention to appearance will also pay attention to work."

Shakespeare in England once said: "Appearance is a person's appearance." The statement of this literary giant has been recognized all over the world.We often see people around us being accused by people for inappropriate clothing and makeup.Ladies might argue with me, "My God, Carnegie, how can you be such a superficial person. Just because he doesn't have a beautiful appearance, you conclude that he is a person with no culture and substance?" I admit, It is indeed a bit sloppy to judge a person only by appearance, but countless experiences and facts have proved that appearance can indeed directly reflect a person's taste and sense of self-esteem.Those who are eager to succeed, those who want to be glamorous, all choose his clothes carefully.

A philosopher once said: "If you show me the clothes a woman wears in her life, then I can write a biography about her according to my imagination."

Psychologist Stenny Smith once said: "If you tell a girl she is beautiful, she will be delighted. If you dare to criticize her casually, saying that her clothes are useless and her make-up is terrible, she will definitely be happy." In a fit of rage. Indeed, beauty is simply too important to a woman. A woman may have her life's hopes and happiness in a nice new dress or a well-fitting millinery. If the ladies have a little A little common sense and you'll get the point. If you want to help a lady in trouble, your best bet is to help her understand the value of appearance."

We might as well connect Sidney's words with those of Herbert.Yes, although clothing and makeup do not make a person, they do have a subtle influence on our lives.Pustis Muofud, president of the National Etiquette Association, once said: "A person's appearance can affect his mental outlook. This is not alarmist talk, nor is it exaggerated. You can imagine how much appearance has on you. The impact will do."

Here I would like to emphasize one point to the ladies, that is, the clothes are more important to you than the makeup.We will see a well-dressed woman without makeup on the street, but we will never see a lady with beautiful makeup but wearing a sloppy dress.

If we put a lady in a well-worn coat, it is bound to affect her whole mood.Even if the lady had been a very dainty person before, she would be slovenly by this time.She would think in her heart: "Anyway, I have already worn such a coat, and there is nothing wrong with it, so why care about whether the hair is dirty, whether the face and hands are clean, or whether the shoes are worn out? "It's just an external effect, the coat will also change the woman's gait, demeanor and emotion, of course, it is subtle.

On the contrary, if we change this lady into a beautiful trench coat, then the situation is very different.She will think in her heart: "I must dress myself up beautifully, because only in this way can I match this trench coat." So, the lady will comb her hair smoothly, and wash her face and hands. Clean and well-groomed.This lady will go out of her way to pick out clothes that go with the trench coat, down to the socks.What's more, the lady's thinking will also change, and she will have more respect for those who are well-dressed, and at the same time will stay away from those who are sloppy.

I believe that ladies must now understand the importance of appearance to you.But I dare say, not all ladies know how to dress themselves.Many women think that spending a fortune on expensive and stylish clothes is the best option, and spending a month's salary on dreaded cosmetics is the best thing to do.In fact, this is a very serious misconception.

Presumably the ladies all know the famous British playboy Bo Brummell.This rich man actually spends $4000 a year to make a dress, and it takes hours just to tie a bow tie.This obsession with your appearance is actually worse than complete neglect.This kind of person pays too much attention to clothing, and puts all his thoughts on the study of appearance, thus ignoring inner cultivation and his own responsibilities.From my point of view, if you can dress within your means and match your status, then it is undoubtedly the most practical way to be frugal.

Many women, especially some young ones, mistake "being well-groomed" for buying expensive clothes and brand-name cosmetics.In fact, this approach is as wrong as that of ignoring the instrument.They should spend their time and thoughts on cultivating their sentiments, purifying their hearts and learning knowledge, but they waste a lot of time, money and energy on dressing up.Every day these women figure out in their minds how they plan to spend their meager income on expensive hats, dresses or coats.If they can't do this anyway, then they will focus on the rough, cheap fakes, which will backfire and make them laugh at themselves.Caral once satirized such people bitterly: "For some people, their work and life is dressing. They have dedicated their spirit, soul and money to this cause. The purpose of their life It’s just getting dressed, so there’s no time to study at all, and certainly no energy to work hard.”

Actually, I have a good piece of advice for most average ladies, wear decent clothes and make-up that suits you, and it doesn't cost a lot of money.In fact, plain clothes also have great charm.There are a lot of good and cheap clothes for ladies to choose from in the market, and we can also get good clothes for a small amount of money.

Ladies, don't have the illusion that "shabby" clothes are not necessarily offensive, and sloppy is the most annoying.It doesn't matter if you have money or not, you can make yourself attractive as long as the ladies know how to dress and make up properly.As long as women try to keep themselves clean and tidy, they will win the respect of others.

Elegant women can dominate their emotions
Time goes by and looks age easily. Almost every woman dreams of becoming an elegant woman.However, elegance cannot be obtained overnight, it is a cultivation from the inside out.Maybe you are rich enough to buy fancy clothes and expensive jewellery, but these don't make you elegant, they only make you luxurious.Elegance cannot be faked, and it cannot be achieved overnight. If we want to become an elegant woman, we must cultivate ourselves from the inside out.

Elegant women, first of all, can control their emotions.It is hard to imagine that a hysterical woman can be called elegant. When we mention the word elegant, the first thing we think of is a calm and self-controlled woman. No matter what the situation, she can keep her heart simple and control her emotions. , will not be enslaved by bad emotions.To be an elegant woman, in addition to those internal and external cultivation, we must first become the masters of our own emotions.It is only by being calm with ourselves and the world that we can become truly graceful.

In the initial stage of my career, I was very busy and tired almost every day.To lighten the load, I asked Lisa to be my secretary.Lisa is very smart and has a strong working ability. With her help, I did feel a lot easier.However, no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, which are inevitable.

Once, when I checked the papers, Lisa had carelessly made a mistake on a very important document.For this reason, I, who was still very young at the time, criticized Lisa impulsively, without mercy.Afterwards, I realized that my actions were inappropriate, so I sincerely apologized to Lisa.I originally thought that this incident would pass like this, but I didn't expect Lisa to become depressed since then.Originally, she worked very carefully and rarely made mistakes. Since then, she has made frequent mistakes and is absent-minded.I thought the criticism wouldn't make Lisa so freaking out, so I couldn't figure out what the problem was.

A few days later, the friend who introduced Lisa to work here called me to ask me what happened to Lisa recently, and I briefly introduced Lisa's work to him.From his mouth, I learned that Lisa's parents also found that Lisa was abnormal recently, not only in a bad mood, but also often lost her temper.At this point, I know Lisa is still thinking about what I criticized her last time.

I found Lisa again and sincerely apologized for what happened last time.But Lisa said: "No, Mr. Carnegie, this matter has nothing to do with you! In fact, I have no confidence in myself at all, and I am always worried about making mistakes, so I am preparing to resign from you."

Frankly speaking, I know that this matter has a lot to do with my impulsive criticism of Lisa, but I don't know how to help Lisa.Later, I made a special trip to Washington to visit the famous American psychologist John Wallace, hoping that he could give me some good advice.

Wallace said to me: "Lisa's performance is a typical emotional out of control, and the trigger is that you criticized her out of control at that time. To solve this problem, you must learn to control your emotions and be the master of your emotions. .Otherwise, it will affect people's work, study and life."

I believe that many female friends have had experiences similar to Lisa's in life, that's why people say that women are the most emotional creatures.Of course, I don't agree with this statement, because not all women can't control their emotions and are slaves to their emotions, although the truth often leaves me speechless.

In fact, not only women, but everyone is emotional.It is normal for everyone to experience joys, sorrows and sorrows in life.As long as we recognize the nature of the problem and actively adjust ourselves, we can become the masters of our emotions.

Once, a lady came to me on a special trip and confided to me in distress: "Mr. Carnegie, can you help me? I am really in great pain!" I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "It is like this, I can't stand my temper anymore. I'm always very emotional, and my emotions will go up and down over a little thing, causing me to lose my temper and cry. However, I don't know how to change this Everything." I asked her, "Since you know what's wrong with you, why don't you try to control your emotions?" Hearing my question, the lady became a little emotional again, and she raised her voice and said, "I have controlled your emotions." Ah, but tried a lot to no avail, because my reaction wasn't what I meant to do."

Ladies, do you know what?In fact, the main reason why people are enslaved by emotions is that when the environment around people changes too quickly, people's subconscious will tell themselves: "No, I must not let myself get hurt, I must protect myself." At this time, people will curl up like hedgehogs, put themselves into a fighting state, and mercilessly attack those who may harm us. This kind of performance is what we call emotional loss.

(End of this chapter)