Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 20 Cultivating the Mind and Cultivating the Nature—A Calm and Calm Woman Letting Elegance Emanate in Calmness and Tranquility (2)
In fact, many women know the importance of controlling their emotions, but forget about them as soon as they encounter specific problems.They always say they can't control their emotions and complain about it.As everyone knows, it is these seemingly reasonable excuses that make ladies give up the power to dominate their emotions.If we want to control our emotions and be the masters of our emotions, we must first strengthen our beliefs: I believe that I will be able to get rid of the control of emotions, no matter what, I must try.Only in this way can women take the initiative and truly overcome emotions.Remember, giving yourself a sense of self-control is the most important start to winning this battle.

A well-mannered woman can show elegance
In the process of conducting training courses, I have met all kinds of people.One day, I was immersed in my thoughts in the office, when suddenly there was a rapid knock on the door, and then a woman rushed in through the door.She was careless, unaware that she was an uninvited guest, and sat on the chair opposite me unceremoniously.She asked me of course, "Mr. Carnegie, I need your help." I smiled and asked her, "What can I do for you?" : "I used to major in secretarial work. Logically speaking, I should be very suitable for the work of a secretary. However, there is a problem that has always puzzled me, that is, no one has hired me as a secretary so far." After listening to this My eyes did not rest when the lady spoke.Through observation, I found that she has many bad habits.For example, she was sitting there loosely, with her upper body tilted and her legs crossed.Moreover, her feet hanging in mid-air kept shaking, and she didn't have the slightest intention to stop and put them there safely.Her eyes wandered, and she kept looking at my office, as if she didn't come to consult me, but came to my office to find something missing.Occasionally, she would dig her ears and pick her nostrils, looking more casual than entering her own home.

After listening to her story, I asked her patiently: "Since you have studied the secretarial profession, what basic qualities do you think a secretary must have?" She said without hesitation : "Can type, write short essays, but also be beautiful and have temperament." Well, she mentioned temperament, and I then asked: "What do you think is temperament?" This question is a bit difficult, so the lady had to think for a while , then intermittently said: "Temperament? Temperament... Actually, it's not easy to describe, it just makes oneself look very elegant and makes others look comfortable..." She stopped suddenly while she was talking, and questioned me angrily: " What are you doing, Mr. Carnegie? Don't you find it indecent?"

With the lady's angry accusations, I started to take my actions seriously.It turned out that while she was talking, I put my feet on the table, picked my nose, and made a sniffling sound.Apparently, the lady had run out of patience with my behavior, and she said angrily, "Mr. Carnegie, you are a person of status and status. Don't you think your behavior is inappropriate? It will affect your reputation with others." I have a good impression in my mind." Seeing that she had realized the seriousness of the problem, I immediately returned to normal in a serious manner.At this time, I said politely: "I think you have realized a problem, that is, no boss is willing to hire an employee like me. However, there is a problem I must tell you, your performance just now is almost the same as mine." Although the woman's face turned red quickly, she didn't contradict me. I think she has realized her problem.She said to me frankly: "Mr. Carnegie, I know what my problem is. Thank you!"

Later, the lady participated in etiquette and body training, and soon got her wish and entered a large company as a secretary.

Ladies, although this story is finished, we must think about a question next, that is why the lady couldn't find a job at the beginning, but later she was able to enter a big company as a secretary?In fact, it was not that the lady's abilities had been improved, but that she had changed her inappropriate manner.We all know that the secretary often represents the image of the company, and needs to attend various occasions with the main person in charge of the company, or receive people who come to the company.If the secretary does not have decent etiquette, it will seriously affect the company's image.Thinking about it this way, who would hire a person with inappropriate manners as a secretary?Although most of us are not ready to be secretaries, proper manners are still very important to us female friends.Everyone has the so-called love of beauty. We should not only improve our image, but also pay attention to our manners and behaviors. Only in this way can we better show our external and internal beauty and leave a good impression on others. impression.

Catherine is a well-known actress who has successfully portrayed many high society ladies.Once, I went to interview her and asked her how to create a good lady image.She said: "At the beginning, I didn't know how to play the image of a lady, and I was always uneasy. Later, I paid attention to those ladies, paid attention to their clothing and conversation, and tried my best to imitate them. However , Later I found that I couldn't imitate them, so I began to observe them more carefully, only to find that even if they wore very ordinary clothes, they still couldn't conceal their imprint from the upper class. I found that their gestures Even a very subtle movement has infinite elegance. Therefore, I began to imitate their words and deeds, manners, etc., and participated in etiquette training courses, and often contacted high society. It can be said , I am not playing a noble lady, but I really turned myself into a noble lady."

Catherine is very smart. In order to play the role of a lady well, she put herself among the upper class and became an elegant lady with every gesture.Of course, not every lady has to be a lady, but every lady should pay attention to her manners and make herself an elegant woman.

become a woman of style

A few years ago, at the invitation of a friend, I decided to go with my wife, Dorothy, to a dinner he was throwing.This friend of mine is a political figure, and the dinner he hosted brought together many celebrities from the business and political circles, which can be said to be a typical high-society gathering.However, when I told Dorothy about my friend's invitation, she hesitated and refused.I knew that she refused because she had no confidence in herself.

Frankly speaking, I know that my wife Dorothy is not the kind of beautiful woman who makes people shine at the first sight, but in my heart, I always think that she is the most attractive woman in the world.The reason is actually very simple. Dorothy not only understands social etiquette very well, but also has connotations.Unfortunately, Dorothy was so unaware of her own merits that she felt ashamed of being a housewife at the thought of being in the same room as the beautiful and fashionable young women who gathered around me.In the end, after my repeated persuasion, Dorothy reluctantly agreed to go to the banquet with me.Worried about losing manners, Dorothy greeted me in advance, saying that she would be discreet in her words and actions, and talk as little as possible.

When we arrived, the banquet had already started.Sure enough, as I expected, all the dignitaries from the political circles and celebrities from the business world came to the dinner party, and the women accompanying them were all jeweled and extravagant, making them look very dazzling.Compared with them, my Dorothy was plain and hardly noticeable.Among these women, each more glamorous than the other, there was a woman who became the focus of the party.Partly because she is really beautiful, partly because she seems so "different".Ladies who know etiquette know that evening dresses are the first choice for formal banquets, because evening dresses can better highlight a woman's elegance and charm.But this one-of-a-kind woman wore something very daring: an extremely low-cut suspenders, paired with a super-short miniskirt, and glittery, bejeweled boots.

Aside from her attire being the center of attention, this lady's eye-popping demeanor also caught everyone's attention.She drank a lot of wine, almost drunk; she walked and ate with food, and clinked glasses with many men; she raised her thigh intentionally or unintentionally, and fell into the arms of men openly several times.Men and women with almost any taste were turned off by this lady, and I thought it was the worst party I've ever been to.

After the banquet, on the way home, I asked Dorothy, "My dear, do you think the lady tonight is pretty?" Dorothy nodded and said, "It is indeed a rare beauty! However, I have a hard time connecting her with real beauty." I knew Dorothy didn't like to judge other women easily, so I interjected, "You're right. She's pretty, but The soul is very pale. Therefore, she is not a beauty in the true sense, but you—my wife Dorothy, with a generous demeanor and elegant style, you are the well-deserved queen at today's dinner party!"

I can't deny that I'm flattering my wife to a certain extent, but I'm also speaking the truth.For every woman, the pursuit of beauty is a lifelong career.For every bystander, we also hope to see seductive beauties.However, it is far from enough for any woman to have beautiful appearance and charming posture. Only with elegant posture and elegant style can a woman be truly charming.

There is no doubt that almost every woman wants to be in the limelight, yet most of them are as plain looking as my wife.What I'm trying to say is that we can't choose our appearance because that's what our parents gave us.However, we can make ourselves attractive through training, that is, to improve taste and style.A truly beautiful woman may not necessarily have beauty, but she must have elegant words and deeds and graceful demeanor.There are also some women who feel ashamed and self-defeating because they are just ordinary housewives or small employees. They feel that they deal with daily necessities, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, tea and people at the bottom of society, so it is not advisable not to pay attention to self-cultivation. .Because only by improving ourselves can we stand on a higher and bigger stage to show ourselves, so as to win more and better opportunities for ourselves.

Mr. Davis works as a public relations etiquette consultant for a large American company. He once said that for public relations personnel, the most important thing is not the external beauty, but the temperament and elegant style exuded from the inside out.Ms. Caroline, who works as a senior lecturer in an insurance company in New York, holds a high-paying position at a young age, which is the envy of countless people.However, her appearance is so ordinary that it is even difficult to compliment her.However, none of this affects what she has now with her charming charm.

A vase without connotation can only become a temporary decoration. Only an elegant woman can leave a good impression on others and win their trust and respect in the end.

the value of a smile

If you need a social tool, smiling is undoubtedly the most effective.In interpersonal communication, a smile has magical power, and its value is far beyond what we can estimate.If a person wants to be successful, he must first be recognized by others.No matter how hard you try to show that you're nice, it's not nearly as relatable as a smile.

Smile is the most important expression of human beings. If a person cannot smile, no matter how rich he is, he is still poor.While attending a banquet in New York, I ran into a lady by chance.At that time, she had just inherited a large amount of inheritance, so she spent a lot of money to buy expensive diamonds, jewelry, etc. to dress herself up, in order to let people accept her more quickly.However, the luxurious clothing and accessories could not hide the bitterness and meanness on her face, so no one interacted with her.

(End of this chapter)