Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 21 Cultivating the Mind and Cultivating the Nature—A Calm and Calm Woman Letting Elegance Emanate in Calmness and Tranquility (3)
Know that the most valuable smile you can give to other people and to the world is the genuine, warm smile that comes from the heart, unpretentious, pure and natural.Professor James McNair, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, once said that people who often have a smile on their faces are more likely to cultivate a happy next generation, and they often have outstanding performance in education, management, and marketing activities.A smile can convey your heart more than a frown.It is for this reason that modern education advocates encouragement and praise.

Anyone who has stayed in the waiting room of a hospital knows that almost everyone waiting for a doctor has a sad face, and the atmosphere in the waiting room is always very depressing.One only needs to stay there for a while to feel that even the sun is overshadowed.As a veterinarian, Stephen Spohr, a veterinarian in Layton, Missouri, once told me something.One year, during the warm spring season, his clinic was packed with people coming to vaccinate their pets.The people were strangers to each other, all silent.Suddenly, a woman walked into the clinic with her nine-month-old baby and a kitten, and sat down next to a man.Before that, the man's face was full of impatience. However, when he saw the innocent baby smiling at him with crystal clear eyes, he couldn't help but also smiled at the baby.With this smile, the atmosphere suddenly became active, and soon, the man and the baby's mother began to chat, which even led to the atmosphere of the entire clinic.Because the wait was so long, people started chatting and having fun.If it wasn't for the baby's smile that broke the calm, perhaps people would continue to wait in silence.

New York Stock Exchange member William Steinhardt changed his destiny by smiling.He said to me in the letter: "I have been married for almost 20 years. For a long time, when I left for work every morning, I was in a hurry, and I didn't even have time to say goodbye to my wife, let alone smile. Walking in the endless stream of people on Broadway , I always feel depressed. With your suggestion, I decided to try smiling. When I got up the next morning, I looked at myself with a sad face in the mirror and said, "Bill, today you have to try to put away your sadness. Now start smiling.’ I sat down to breakfast with a smile and said good morning to my wife with a smile.”

"Facing my smiling face, my wife was surprised, and I calmly told her that I will smile every morning. It is hard to imagine that such a small change has completely changed my life attitude. After two months of insisting on smiling I feel like my happiness has multiplied."

"Now, I keep on smiling every day, to everyone I meet. At the subway ticket office, I smile and say hello to the staff; at the elevator entrance, I smile with the person who manages the elevator; First of all, I smiled with the secretary at the front desk; standing in the service hall of the New York Stock Exchange, I even smiled with people I had never met; even when I faced people who complained to me, I smiled. Soon, I found my smile got the same in return."

"Because of my change, a person who used to think I was depressed now finds me very approachable and approachable. Because of my smile, I am more and more tolerant of others. I stopped being critical of others and started to appreciate and praise others .Also, I learned to put myself in other people's shoes, which made me more popular. All in all, I am a completely different person today under the magic of smiling. I am happier, richer, more fulfilled, and I have gained More friendship and happiness, that's what matters."

Every day, if you insist on smiling and greeting others, then I believe your life will be different from now on.

Happiness is the infinite light from the bottom of my heart
In my public speaking course, there was a student named Jennifer.She is beautiful and has infinite desire for life.She would love to take a vacation to Hawaii as a short-term living dream.She always said: "It would be great if I could go to Hawaii for vacation, even if it's just for a few days!" One day, her boyfriend finally decided to take her to Hawaii for vacation. The message was notified to all friends.She cheered and jumped for joy, looking forward to the upcoming wonderful holiday.Finally, Jennifer and her boyfriend embarked on a journey to Hawaii.

When Jennifer returned, her friends were also very excited, asking her how the trip was like.Originally, everyone thought that Jennifer would happily tell everyone what she had seen and heard during the trip. No, Jennifer said with some regret: "For a long time, I have always regarded traveling to Hawaii as my dream. Originally, I thought it would be a dream come true." The dream would make me feel extremely happy and excited, but the reality is not. In fact, after arriving in Hawaii, I was far less happy than I imagined, and even a little disappointed. You know, Hawaii is so hot, hot I couldn't bear it. We were stuck in the hotel all day, unable to go out, and my boyfriend was listless and had no interest. When I lay next to him on the deck chair on the beach, he had no Showing love to me like a cold rock. I feel so pathetic and want to go crazy wishing I had never been to Hawaii. I don't know what's wrong with me?"

In fact, many female friends have experienced Jennifer's feelings.They longed to go to a place infinitely, thinking that it was a paradise of happiness.For example, go to a concert, go to a famous scenic tourist area, or go to a high-end restaurant for dinner.However, when they actually got there, they found that everything was far from what they had imagined, and there was no happiness they wanted there.Why is this?Is the scenery of the tourist attraction not beautiful enough?Or is the meal in a fancy restaurant unpalatable?Or is the water in Hawaii not blue enough?In fact, none of the above is the real reason, the real reason lies in our heart.

In life, people always have this kind of experience, that is, when our work is not going well, or when our relationship is in crisis, we will feel very bored, our mood will become worse and worse, and we will even lose our life. interest.At this time, even if we are in the most beautiful place in the world and taste the most delicious food in the world, we will not know the taste, let alone appreciate the beautiful scenery.In fact, the external environment does not have enough energy to soothe our inner anxiety.On the contrary, if we are in a happy mood, even if we are in a bad environment, we can still feel happy and feel like we are in heaven.Whether a person is happy is not determined by his environment, but by his state of mind.A woman's happiness comes from the heart, and the performance of happiness often determines a woman's charm index.No one wants to be with a woman who is frowning all day long.As women, we must realize that no one can decide whether we are happy or not, and nothing can make us sad, it should all be in our own hands.

Many times, we always make a mistake, that is, to formulate a lot of rules and regulations for our own happiness, and even pin our happiness on objective objects.We always say that if it works, we will be happy.If you think like this, then it will be difficult for you to be happy.

Sometimes happiness also depends on our expectations of life.We always hope that it will not rain tomorrow, that every day will go smoothly, that we will be promoted and raise our salary, and that our family members will be safe and sound... In these trivial expectations, we are constantly disappointed.If we can have the mood of being content with whatever happens, reduce our desire for life, and maintain a satisfied attitude at all times, then we will definitely find more satisfaction in our lives.In fact, there are not so many reasons to be unhappy in life, and life does not have to be presented perfectly. We should try to make our happiness out of the shackles of the external environment and make it a radiance from the heart.

Who is making you unhappy?You should ask yourself this question from time to time, and then remind yourself: Happiness comes from within you.

Overcoming rigidity with softness, the only magic weapon for women
Judo, which originated in China, is completely different from the head-to-head combat of other fighting games.Judo contestants often take a tolerant attitude to the opponent's attack first, and then wait for an opportunity to launch a counterattack.

While traveling to Europe, Dorothy and I had the privilege of watching a judo competition.Dorothy and I kept discussing judo after watching the game.Dorothy said suddenly: "Honey, if people can overcome rigidity with softness when getting along with others, then many conflicts and disputes can be avoided."

Dorothy's words gave me a sudden insight. If we can also adopt the method of using softness to overcome rigidity when interacting with others, then we will definitely be able to be more harmonious.Especially for female friends, overcoming rigidity with softness can not only enable us to avoid conflicts and disputes, but also enhance our personal charm.

In life, whenever there is trouble, people are always used to solving it head-on.If the other party yells loudly, we must also try our best; if the other party's words offend us, we will not be outdone and welcome them with harsh words;Leaving aside whether these methods can really solve the problem, these practices will definitely greatly reduce our image in the minds of others.As a professor of psychology, Skoll Takla believes that it is very difficult to explode in the face of a smiling, friendly and kind person, even a bad tempered person.

In addition to natural appearance and acquired temperament, dealing with people is an important aspect of showing femininity.A truly attractive woman will not be fussy, unreasonable, and will not be confrontational with others at every turn, and will not know how to give in.Facing such a woman, not to mention liking, getting along reluctantly is very troublesome.

Shanina and I were neighbors when we lived in Missouri.I don't know why, but people around her affectionately call her "the most popular lady", because everyone likes her very much.At that time, I didn't have a clear concept of interpersonal relationship. The only thing that left a deep impression on me was that every time we met, Shanina was always smiling and very kind.As far as I can remember, she has never lost her temper with anyone, let alone had an argument with anyone.

Once, a farmer's horse ran into her vegetable garden, and not only trampled down the fence, but also trampled the vegetables growing in the field.This is the fruit of Shanina's labor, she must be very distressed.However, when the owner of the horse offered to compensate Shanina, she refused with a smile.Looking at the guilt-ridden farmer, Shanina in turn comforted him not to take this incident to heart.Because of this incident, the farmer's family and Shanina became very good friends.At the same time, Shanina has also won the respect of the people around her with her tolerance.

At that time, when I was still young, I felt wronged for Shanina, and I didn't know why she wronged me.Until today, I didn't know Shanina's approach was wise and correct.Under the circumstances at the time, if Shanina had been tough, the farmer might not have offered to apologize, but would have said that he did not let the horse run into the vegetable garden.As a result, a quarrel is inevitable, and Shanina's loss is still irreversible.There may be many women who think that Shanina's approach is just a way of dealing with people, which is based on the premise of losing her own interests. It is a cowardly display and is not worth advocating.However, if I told you what I saw and heard when Dorothy and I attended Mrs. Shanina's funeral in Missouri, you might well change your minds.

Mrs. Shanina's tombstone reads: "The woman lying here is a charming woman. Her generosity, tolerance, demeanor, and temperament have impressed everyone who knows her." .”

I think every woman longs for such comments and inscriptions before she dies.Almost all the neighbors attended Mrs. Shanina's funeral, including former neighbors who came from as far away as Dorothy and I.Ladies, use "softness" to impress others like Mrs. Shanina. Only in this way can you really convince people.

Cass Lucaze, a famous British master of human relations, said: "Among all the attractive factors of women, 'gentleness' is the most easily accepted by everyone." Gentleness can open the door of other people's hearts and make you truly walk into the hearts of others.Ladies, are you excited?Put a smile on your face, treat others with tenderness, and you will find that your life will be very different.

(End of this chapter)