Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 29 A Stormy Face—A Calm and Calm Woman Facing the World with a Calm and Unfazed Attitude (2)
One widow lost her husband at a young age, and because of this, she was always depressed and eventually suffered from severe depression.Because she couldn't get over the shadow of the past and was always wallowing in sadness, her life was hard.Even though she still had a filial child by her side, and even though her husband left her enough insurance money to support her life, she died not long after.Many friends thought that passing away might be a relief for her, because after her husband passed away, she was always depressed, even though she would duplicity say: "Yes, I'm fine." But her expression But the voice is telling people: "I am so unfortunate, what good is there!" Since her husband passed away, she has been living in complaints.Either complaining about the unpalatable food, the bad weather, or the naughty grandson.All in all, everything was the object of her complaints, and there was hardly anything in her heart that was worthy of joy and comfort.In the end, she passed away amid endless complaints and the pain of her husband's death.

Compared with this widow, Ms. Bryan obviously has more reason to complain and give up hope of life.Not only did Brian lose her husband, but she was also terminally ill. Due to complications, her blood pressure even reached 220 mm Hg.This made her often have a splitting headache, and she felt like dying.There was nothing the doctor could do about it, and she had better arrange her own funeral.

At first, Ms. Bryan was as depressed and hopeless as the widow.However, seeing her family and friends worried about her situation, she thought, "Since I don't have much left in my life, why can't I spend the remaining time happily with my family and friends? In this way, My life is meaningful!" After thinking about it thoroughly, Ms. Bryan was no longer bothered by illness and forgot the pain caused by her husband's death. Instead, she greeted the sunrise with a smile every day, completely ignoring the increasingly severe disease.

Friends and family have been delighted with Bryan's transformation.Regarding his own changes, Brian said: "At first, I found it difficult to forget the physical and mental pain, so I tried my best to pretend to be happy. Later, I found that I actually became happy, and my physical pain gradually eased. Now , even the doctors said it was a miracle that I survived two years."

Since we know that a good attitude can save our lives, why should we allow our physical health to be eroded by anxiety and troubles because of those trivial things?Since we know that there are many things that we cannot change, why can't we accept what has happened and calmly face what is about to happen?We don't need to be immersed in the pain of yesterday, nor need to be anxious because of things that haven't happened. The only thing we can do is to live in the present and live well today.Only in this way can we truly grasp life and live every day to the fullest.

Ladies, please remember that the only way to live happily is to "live in the moment".If you can truly appreciate the true meaning contained in these four words, you will definitely become happier and happier.

Destiny is always in the hands of tough people
The spirit of tenacity is reflected in many creatures. The seemingly inconspicuous spiders are actually very tenacious, and they will never give up until they reach their goals.The Tatars in adversity got inspiration from the spider, and they became more tenacious and perseverant in doing things.American ornithologist O'Douben once lost his carefully preserved sketches due to the destruction of mice, but he was not discouraged and started from scratch.In this regard, he said: "Courage is very important to people. At that time, I lived in a small village called Hudson in Kentuck, Ohio. Later, in order to deal with some things, I had to go to Philadelphia. Pro Before I left, I put the sketches I kept in a cardboard box and entrusted a relative to keep them for me. Before I left, I repeatedly asked him to keep these precious pictures for me.”

"After a few months, I went home. After being reunited with my family and friends, I started asking about my treasures. My relatives brought out my wooden box and when I opened it, I was stunned. The box where I kept my pictures was destroyed by a The Norway rats have taken over. There is no trace of the picture in the box. Among the debris in the box, there are only a group of newly born rats. It is only a few months, and they seem to have settled here for a thousand years. I am very frustrated Well, for days on end I was restless and felt like the most unlucky person in the world. You know, I've put a lot of care into these pictures, and now the teeth of the rats have ruined them. I I slept with my head covered for several days, and as my anger dissipated, I regained my courage. I took my pen and notebook, picked up my gun, pretended nothing had happened, and headed happily to the mountains and forests as usual. I thought, I should probably be glad that I had the opportunity to do better. In less than three years, I have done my work again."

Things like this have happened to many people.Caliri had the same experience when writing the first volume of the history of the French Revolution.When the first draft was complete, he wanted to send the manuscript to his literate neighbors for review, so that any omissions could be corrected.However, due to a moment of inadvertence, his manuscript was lost on the floor of the neighbor's living room.Kalili forgot about it until weeks later when the publisher pressed him for the manuscript, and he sent someone to a neighbor's house to pick it up.At this time, the neighbors found that the manuscript could not be found.It turned out that the unsuspecting servant saw a bundle of "waste paper" on the floor of the living room, threw it into the fireplace and burned it!After learning of this, Kalili's mind went blank and he was at a loss.However, everything is beyond regret.He had to search hard for those facts, materials, and ideas from his memory, although it was a painful and helpless process.In the end, he completed the book with tenacious perseverance, making up for the huge loss caused by his negligence.

There are many such stories of persistence in science, art, and other industries.On the road of invention and creation, many inventors have spent their tenacious and indomitable life.George Stephenson warned young people, "The experience of success is to never give up until you reach your goal."Ladies, we should also remember this saying.Although our lives are not as dazzling and successful as great people, we should also face life with this spirit.

Ladies, those who have the quality of will are never intimidated by suffering.In the face of difficulties, they always face them bravely and firmly, and try their best to overcome them.They never beg for mercy, let alone despair easily, and will never find any excuses as a reason to escape reality.

The book "A Whole Life Before Death" records the story of a poor woman named Emer Hamm who was born in Ohio.Aimer was born with a severe disability on the right side of her body.Doctors pronounced her death sentence when she was just born.However, she survived tenaciously and reached the advanced age of 90 years.

In addition to the pain of being disabled on the right side of the body, Aimer also suffered two fatal accidents later.However, no matter how cruel fate was to her, she never flinched, let alone gave up her beliefs.She put all her energy into public welfare undertakings, dragging her disabled body to provide help to nearby schools and hospitals. After retiring at the age of 70, she devoted herself to education and became an honorary director of more than 20 professional schools and a university.It can be said that Aimer's life is a perfect interpretation of "courage" and "tenacity".

Ladies, do you secretly think: "Mr. Carnegie, we also admire Ms. Emerald very much, and we want to be as good as her." As long as you think of it and do it immediately, you have a chance!

Be self-reliant and accept help
Although we always emphasize that if you want to achieve great things, you must be diligent, self-reliant, hard-working and hard-working.However, we must also admit that it is also important to accept help from others in our life journey.

The poet Wadsworth once said: "Although self-help and helplessness seem to be contradictory, they must be combined with each other to be the best-noble dependence and self-reliance, noble help and self-help." From From cradle to grave, few people are completely on their own.It can be said that all people are more or less favored by being brought up and educated.In contrast, those who are really strong and the best are often the most willing to admit and accept such help.

From the life experience of the French writer Alexis de Tocqueville, it is not difficult for us to confirm this fact.Tocqueville was born in a noble family. His father and mother were both French nobles.Because of the great influence of his family, he was appointed as the audit judge of Versailles when he was just 21 years old.However, perhaps because he felt that his talents were not suitable for the position of judge, he finally decided to give up.He wants to rely on his own ability to create a future life path.For such a decision, many people think that it is "a stupid decision".But this did not change Tocqueville's will in the slightest, and he decided to act according to his own will.He decisively resigned, decided to leave France, and traveled to the United States for a visit.Later, as the trip progressed, he completed the great book "On Democracy in America".

Gustave de Beaumont made that journey with Tocqueville.Regarding Tocqueville's tireless diligence in traveling, Beaumont said: "His nature has nothing to do with laziness. Whether he is resting or traveling, his mind is never idle... and Alexis is most useful when he is with you. He is most willing to talk to you about what is the most useful. For him, the days with nothing to do are the worst. Even if he wastes a second of time, he will feel restless. "In a letter to a friend, Tocqueville said: "In life, people must act at all times. You must know that both personal external efforts and personal internal efforts are necessary. If we do not do this, our mentality The young and ignorant will not match the growth of age. Living in the world, a man is like a traveler who treks endlessly in cold regions. The farther he goes, the faster he goes. The soul The lesions of the disease will lead to evil consequences. In order to resist this evil, we not only need spiritual support, but also maintain close contact with friends around us so that we can support each other and tide over the difficulties.”

Although de Tocqueville advocated that everyone should be hard-working and independent, at the same time, this did not affect the fact that he firmly believed that people would benefit more or less from others' help or support throughout their lives.Therefore, he often thanked his two good friends, de Kelgre and Stoffel, with gratitude and affection.Among them, the former gave him intellectual and spiritual help, and the latter gave him moral sympathy and support.In a letter to de Kelgre, Tocqueville wrote: "You are the only reliable heart I can trust, and your influence on me is profound. Although many people have had an impact on me, they are far from Not so much as you have influenced the birth of my basic ideas and the principles that guide my rules of conduct.” In addition to being grateful to his friends, de Tocqueville is also very grateful to his wife Marie.Marie had a good temper and character, and she was very kind and calm, which enabled Tocqueville to concentrate on his research.Tocqueville believed that a woman with a noble spiritual temperament can improve her husband's spiritual character invisibly, in contrast, a low-level vulgar woman will only make her husband's spiritual character worse.

In short, human personality is not innate, but is subject to many intangible influences.For example, the influence of life and literature, the influence of role models and maxims, the influence of relatives and friends, the influence of the spirit of the ancestors and the influence of the social and cultural environment, etc.Everyone should be an active master of their own life and behavior.Be able to actively accept help from others while maintaining independence.No one can survive alone, and this is something we need to keep in mind at all times.

Remember, never force yourself
Eileen James is a famous American writer. All her life, she has advocated that people should choose their own lives. She believes that only by not forcing yourself can you truly live out yourself.

Eileen James was not only a writer when she was young, but also an investor and an investment consultant for a real estate company.After working hard for more than ten years, suddenly one day, she was sitting at her desk, staring blankly at a schedule full of densely packed matters.That's when something inside hit her and she realized she couldn't take this maddening schedule anymore.

My own life is indeed too complicated, filling every waking minute with so many messy things is simply a kind of torture to myself, and this is also an extremely crazy and stupid life.It was at this time that she finally made a decision: to abandon those unnecessary busyness and give her soul a vacation.

So she set about making a list for herself of the things that needed to be cleared from her life.Then, she took a series of "bold" actions: canceled all phone appointments for the day, and cleared all the newspapers and magazines that had piled up on her desk, whether she had read or not.She also canceled all of her credit cards to not bother herself with the monthly billing mail.

In this way, by changing her daily life and work habits, she made her room and the lawn in the courtyard more simple and tidy.Originally, there were more than 80 items in her daily list, but after being cleared, it became more than ten items.After simplifying her schedule, Eileen James got a lot of free time, her mind was rested, and she was much happier.

Eileen James said in her work: "Our lives are already too complicated. In the course of our history today, there has never been so much in our time. Over the years, we have been Induced by too much external material desire, we mistakenly think that as long as we work hard, we will have everything, but these things actually make us addicted and upset because they make us lose our creativity. Instead of suffering like this Instead of suffering, it is better to give up these things and give your mind more time to take a vacation, so that our creativity will always flourish.”

In real life, we can also stop and reflect on ourselves when we are busy like Eileen James: How many things do we have to do every day?Is the pursuit of external comfort and tedious routine making your life fall into the trap of wasting time and wasting energy?

Often, our worst enemy is ourselves.Many people are constantly making things difficult, forcing themselves, and pushing themselves harder than a mean boss.They may have prepared many reasons for their tense life, saying that they just want to make more money, or want to live a better life for themselves. In fact, he is just deceiving himself.

To achieve a relaxed mood, you must have self-knowledge and know how to work effectively.If you have significant responsibilities, you must also know how to find an appropriate time to let go of these responsibilities.

Sometimes, because of circumstances, people do jobs that are hard for them to do, making them very nervous and resentful.At this time, it is best to vent your grievances to places other than work, and find a punching bag so that you can vent your anger.Because keeping these grievances inside will affect your physical health and prevent you from getting easy.

(End of this chapter)