Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 9 Independence and Confidence—A calm woman can only be calm when she remembers not to belittle herself (2)
Each must be himself, as Irving Berlin advised the late George Gershwin.When Irving Berlin and George Gershwin met for the first time, Gershwin was just a little-known composer who made a living by composing music for tens of dollars a week, while Berlin had already made a name for himself.Even so, Berlin admired Gershwin very much, and sincerely invited him to be his secretary, and offered him a high salary.But at the same time, Berlin sincerely said to Gershwin: "Actually, I don't want you to accept this job, because it will make you a second-rate Berlin. As long as you stick to your true colors, you It is very possible to become a first-class Gershwin." Later, Gershwin insisted on composing, and eventually became a famous American composer.

Only by persisting in oneself and maintaining oneself can one achieve oneself in the end.Remember, everyone is unique in this world.

Enhance the connotation, make you radiant

A woman may not be beautiful, but she cannot be without connotation.Connotation can endow beauty with soul, it can make beauty last forever, and it can also sublimate this beauty qualitatively.So, where does the connotation of women come from?Through continuous learning, not only can you improve your connotation, but also make you shine.

The image of a woman with rich connotations portrayed in the book "Jane Eyre" has influenced generations after generations. She is an intellectual woman with self-esteem, self-love and self-improvement, and there is a magical energy in her slender body. , Noble, pure, with a noble heart, showing a strong personality charm.When she was a child, her parents died, she lived a life of being dependent on others, she was disliked by others, insulted and beaten by her cousin... But all these did not repel her infinite confidence and unyielding spirit. On the contrary, she had a deep heart. With an invincible inner strength of personality.

Connotation is a certain quality of an individual. It is intangible and a very inner thing that belongs to the individual, but it has tangible power.From being calm and neither humble nor overbearing during a person's interview, to arguing with reason and laughing happily during diplomatic negotiations, it permeates every aspect of life and is reflected in every little thing.So, how can you improve your connotation?
1. Get rid of bad habits and develop good habits
Get rid of bad habits such as not completing various things on time, using some negative words and sentences, and chatting meaninglessly.Develop a good habit of doing things in a planned way, keeping praising others, checking your appearance before going out, reading frequently, and giving yourself half an hour to think every day.

2. To continuously accumulate experience
Treat yourself as a fool, ask if you don’t understand, you will learn more, and only with more knowledge can you have connotation and self-cultivation.You can't see a rainbow without going through wind and rain, and you can't see happiness without going through ups and downs. Are you willing to give up halfway on the road to happiness?When you encounter difficulties, you will not cry without help, and you will not immerse yourself in the deep pool of difficulties. Instead, you will turn difficulties and pain into experiences, accumulate them continuously, and regard them as a ladder of progress.

3. Learning and then not knowing enough
The less you know, the fewer questions you have, and the more you know, the more questions you have.Knowledge is endless, so you need to keep working hard.If you think of graduating from college as the end of your academic career, you are very wrong.Through learning, one can broaden one's thinking, and can also increase one's knowledge. Learning and knowing enough can make you work hard.

4. Make exercise a habit

Generally speaking, sports can exercise a person's tenacity and single-minded will.Regular exercise can also make people open-minded and cheerful. If it is a group activity, it is easy to cultivate people's teamwork spirit.

5. Take up a hobby

Music, chess, calligraphy and painting, whether it is dancing ballet or karaoke, or anything else, as long as it is beneficial to the body and mind, it may have an impact on your connotation.

Let self-respect and self-love guard yourself

Rousseau once said: "It can be said that a person is born twice in his life: the first time is born for life, and the second time is born for life. Just because people are born twice, people's self-esteem and self-love also happen twice. Second: The first self-esteem and self-love is relative to the natural life, and the second self-esteem and self-love is relative to the social life of people. If the first self-esteem and self-love in your life did not happen, then the second self-esteem and self-love There is no way to talk about self-love. Only those who have self-respect and self-love for the first time cannot release the brilliance of humanity. A person can only be considered a complete person if he is born twice, and self-respect and self-love can only be developed into a person if he is born twice. A truly unified, perfect life."

Ladies, I think you all, without exception, want the respect and love that every thinking person craves.Indeed, only when one experiences respect and love from others can such a life be meaningful and happy.However, when many women pursue this kind of respect and love, they often ignore a very important prerequisite, that is, self-esteem and self-love.

Back when I was living in Missouri, there was a girl in our town who was so famous that everyone called her "Crazy Girl" Kara.Carla was less than 20 years old at that time and was studying in a middle school.I heard that Carla is a very beautiful girl, but unfortunately I have never seen it.I've heard everything about Carla from other people.People say that Carla is a bold and informal girl.Although my mind was not mature at that time, I could hear the irony in that sentence.

Someone once said: "This town is full of outstanding people and produced many excellent boys. But if you have not become Kara's boyfriend, then you will never be regarded as a really outstanding boy in this town." It is said that Kara The boyfriends I have made can completely form a small company, and all of these people are outstanding.Carla has never taken relationships seriously because, in her view, being in love is just a game.The time she gets along with each boyfriend will not exceed 3 months.When bored, she immediately looks for a new target.In this way, Carla spent her youth in a daze.

Later, Carla reached the age to talk about marriage.But what she didn't expect was that no one was willing to marry her, not even those who had never given up on her.They told Kara that she was only fit to be a lover, not a wife.Because no one would be willing to marry a woman who does not love herself and has no dignity.The reason why they pursue Kara crazily is just to find something fresh and exciting.As for marriage, they, like Carla, hadn't thought about it at all.

Two years ago, I moved back home to Missouri.When we got together with our childhood buddies, we talked about Kara.I asked my friend, "Do you remember that Kara in town? Although I haven't met her, I heard that she is very charming and has many suitors. I don't know how this crazy girl is doing now?" My friend shook She shook her head and said: "Kara is in a very bad situation now. Because of her own reasons, no one wants to marry her. No way, she has to marry a poor and ugly man. The man is a complete villain. Drugs, gambling and He also drank heavily. Later, in order to meet his own needs, the man actually forced Kara to become a prostitute. When Kara resisted, the man actually said: "Don't pretend to be arrogant here, who doesn't know your background? In fact, you have already become a prostitute." Everyone recognized as a prostitute.'Although Kara was very sad, she had no choice because she also wanted to survive. Who can blame all this? Only Kara herself."

Yes, who can blame all this?In real life, ladies must develop the habit of self-esteem and self-love.The reason is very simple, because only a woman who knows self-esteem and self-love can build up self-confidence in life and continue to strive for self-improvement.At the same time, only a woman who knows how to respect and love herself can be respected and loved by others.Only when ladies understand self-respect and self-love, can they truly cherish their own life and personality, realize the value of life, and muster the courage to face life.With self-esteem and self-love, ladies will be able to safeguard their legitimate rights and bravely assume the responsibility of being human.

Once, a female student of mine came to me, hoping that I could help her educate her children.I said to her, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not an expert in this field. If you need, I can introduce you to a friend who specializes in children's education." The lady didn't listen to my advice, and still hoped I can help her.No way, I had no choice but to agree.

She said to me, "I don't know what's wrong with my little Jack? He would do something like that. He's only 12 years old. You know, Mr. Carnegie, kids make mistakes, Therefore, it is inevitable to be criticized. But when I criticized Jack, he actually retorted: "You have no right to criticize me, you are a shameless person without dignity. I don't have a mother like you, and I am ashamed of you." 'Oh my God, is that what a kid should say? I must have done something wrong, or why would God punish me like this?'

I was also curious at the time because I didn't know why this lady's child treated his mother like this.So, I asked this lady to bring her baby to my house.After some hard work on my part, Jack finally spoke.He said to me: "I hate my mother because she has no dignity. My mother is very snobbish, and she wants to curry favor with rich and powerful people. Once, I saw her bring a man home with my own eyes. Courtesy him. That man is very upright. He didn’t agree with my mother, and said that my mother didn’t know how to love herself. I found out later that the man was the manager of my father’s company, and my mother wanted him to be promoted to my father’s position. Although I was in It was very clear in my heart that my mother did this for the sake of the whole family, but I still couldn't forgive her. Later, my dad was fired by their manager because the manager thought it was all planned by my dad. There are many, many things, I My mother's actions disappointed me so much, I can't tolerate a woman who doesn't know self-respect and self-love as my mother."

Ladies, perhaps your hearts have been shaken by Jack's words.Yes, even a child has an attitude of contempt for a person who has no self-respect and self-love, let alone an adult.Ladies, I sincerely hope that you will remember every sentence in this article, because you will only have a happy life if you have self-respect and self-love.

Self-love means that you love yourself and treat yourself better, so as to make your life beautiful, wonderful, and of high quality and taste.Don't give up on yourself because of a little hurt, and don't compromise to get something, let alone give up your love for yourself because others don't love you.For a woman, only when she knows how to love herself can she truly know how to love others.

In addition, ladies must have an "equal" mentality to live in society.This kind of equality means that there is no distinction between high and low in status and emotion, and the source of creating equality is self-esteem.If you give up your minimum human dignity in order to get something, even love, then your personality will disappear.In this way, compared with the other party, you are already at a disadvantage.Not only will you not be recognized or respected by the other party, but you will become a humble and humble person in the eyes of the other party.What is even more frightening is that once this kind of dignity of personality is lost, it is impossible to get it back.

Linda met Roger at a ball.She fell in love with Roger at first sight and decided that he was the Prince Charming in her life.The relationship between the two developed quickly, and they lived together on the first night of their acquaintance.In the beginning, Linda and Roger did have a sweet life.

However, the good times didn't last long, and Linda soon discovered that Roger had something to hide from her.In the end she learned that Roger was already a family man.Many people advised Linda to leave Roger, but Linda didn't listen at all.She insists that she and Roger are truly in love.Later, Roger took the initiative to find Linda and broke up with her.But at this time, Linda had fallen too deep and couldn't extricate herself.No matter how Roger beat and scolded her, Linda just didn't agree.In the end, Roger told her that as long as she could come up with $10, then he was willing to divorce his wife.In order to get her own "happiness", Linda borrowed money everywhere, and finally got together 10 US dollars.However, the reality made a big joke with her, and Roger left after getting the money.

Before leaving, Roger left a note, which said: "All these results are caused by yourself. When I met you, it was the most frustrated time, because my wife and I had very different feelings at that time. Okay, and I have decided to divorce. At first, I thought you were my second true love, but the fact has disappointed me. We have only known each other for a day, and you live with me, which makes me feel that you are a frivolous woman .I’ve made it very clear to you that we can’t be together, but you insist on it, and no matter how much I insult you, you have never resisted, and you are even willing to raise the 10 yuan. All this makes I think you are a woman with no self-respect. How can a woman who has no self-respect and no self-love have the right to be loved by a man? You are just a doll."

Ms. Linda paid the price for her actions, and it was a very painful price.I think that if Ms. Linda wants to find true happiness in love, then she must first learn self-respect and self-love.

In closing, I would like to remind the ladies that self-esteem and self-love are not the same as being arrogant and arrogant.The so-called self-esteem and self-love refers to respecting and loving oneself, and also respecting and loving others.The purpose of self-respect and self-love is to prevent yourself from being wronged too much, and not to let yourself give up your dignity as a human being.If you want to make your life meaningful and have a happy life, then ladies must first learn self-esteem and self-love.

Don't be a "climbing sapling"

In this world, how many people are sinking in desire and drifting with the tide?How many people are sticking to their inner self and never giving up?Indeed, there are too many things worthy of our pursuit. We have a healthy body, but also want enough money to travel the world; We have a bed, but we still want to sleep soundly; we have dreams, and we want them to come true one by one... In order to satisfy our desires, we become the appendages of fate, the "ling Xiaohua" that clings to fate, with the Fate is ups and downs, I don't know where I should go.In fact, in life, don't make life difficult for yourself.Everyone, if they want to have a perfect life, they must follow their own inner will, love the people they love, do what they want to do, and live the life they really want.In this way, life can become a tree and avoid becoming a "climbing sapling".

In the long journey of life, we yearn for happiness infinitely. Although we have no ability to reject all pain and misfortune, we also have no obligation to bear any sorrow and sorrow.The nature of life is full of hardships and richness. We should not only face happiness and joy calmly, but also bear ups and downs and setbacks calmly.Regarding the suffering of life, Mark Twain said: "Whoever has not eaten bread with tears in his eyes does not know what life is!" In this case, why do you not fight against the wind?Remember, fate is in your own hands, don't be driven by desire, don't be hit by hardships!
I often tell my students: "Beethoven's life was full of pain, but he gritted his teeth and choked the throat of fate, and used his pain to cast joy and dedicate it to the world. Therefore, let us all be happy, even if Just to—so far, we've all been alive."

(End of this chapter)