FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 24 The Secret Words of Little Actions (4)
People who are at a disadvantage in terms of psychology or status seldom take territorial maintenance actions. They generally put their arms away and try not to occupy more territory.This is caused by their unconfident mental state, and at the same time, this kind of action will also cause their self-confidence to shrink even more.Those who have gained a certain status always expand their territory intentionally or unintentionally, and even walk on the road, they will occupy the largest area and the best position; and when they meet someone with a higher status than themselves, this kind of Maintenance actions will quietly converge.If you are just a newcomer in the workplace, by observing other people's territorial maintenance actions, you can quickly judge the other party's status and mentality.

Hug: the hottest expression of emotion

Among nonverbal behaviors, hugging ranks among the top three in terms of the degree of enthusiasm contained in the behavior itself.It is the most direct way of expressing caring between people.When two people embrace each other, they will feel the sincerity of each other through physical contact, thus getting closer psychologically and comforting each other.

Best Overtures

The best way to make another person accept you and express your enthusiasm for another person is to hug.The information that a smile can convey is very rich, but the real close contact will make each other enter each other's territory, thereby increasing mutual trust and promoting emotional growth.Hugging is the easiest to occur between couples, and it is for this reason that they desperately need to gain approval from others or increase mutual trust.Hugging close to each other gives them a psychological hint of occupying each other, just like when an animal comes to another animal's territory and is accepted, it will think that this place has become its own territory.

Although a good-hearted hug has a good emotional expression effect, due to differences in culture and education, people in different regions and countries have different attitudes towards hugs.In Latin America, where people are known for their warmth, hugging each other has become part of the culture.Hugs between men also show that their chests are close to each other, and their arms are hugged to each other's back. While hugging, more enthusiastic people will reach out and pat each other's shoulders or back to express their goodwill.

Chinese people have always been known for being reserved, and Chinese culture has always advocated mutual respect and requires people to keep a certain distance.Therefore, Chinese people are very unfamiliar with hugging, and similar behaviors rarely occur.But that doesn't mean we don't need hugs. When it really comes into your life, you will find that it can produce magic beyond imagination.

Hugging can also be aggression
For people from Asian countries as reserved as the Chinese, the meaning of hugging is sometimes not positive.It can be seen as an invasion of personal space and is therefore often rejected.How to define the nature of a hug so as to avoid arousing the other party's resentment when hugging requires people to be cautious.

In a bar in an Asian country, a European traveler was brought in for drinks and he was introduced to some of the people present.Although this group of people is mainly Asian, everyone still respects the European traveler's habit, hugs him one by one, and expresses the greatest kindness.However, when the traveler hugged a woman, her boyfriend was displeased. He pulled the two people who were hugging away, and angrily took his girlfriend out of the bar, leaving the embarrassing Everyone looked at each other in bewilderment, and the traveler was also very embarrassed.

Unpleasant hugs often occur between people of the opposite sex or different cultures. The formation of this misunderstanding has a lot to do with personal habits and cultural differences.Excessive hug time, too close to the body, will be considered impolite at some point.Asians will keep a certain physical distance when hugging out of politeness, and they will not hug each other hard with their arms.But people in some passionate countries don't care about this, they will not only hug, but even make a light kiss in the ear, maybe they think it's etiquette, but Asians think it's offensive.

Akimbo: Manifesto of the arms
Among the nonverbal movements of the arms, hands on hips are also extremely common.When people behave in this way, they are expressing their attitude, which can basically be regarded as an authoritative gesture.In some occasions, putting hands on hips is also considered as an action to defend one's own territory, because the action of putting hands on hips invisibly expands the space occupied by the human body.It is a common behavior in the animal kingdom to attract the attention of the other party by expanding its body, thereby achieving the purpose of intimidating others and scaring off those attackers.The behavior of hands on hips in humans seems to have the same essence.

Declaration of Defense of Authority
If we carefully observe people who make akimbo in their lives, we will find that the police and soldiers occupy a large part.Their professional nature requires these people to constantly demonstrate their sense of authority in order to make others obey.This original intention makes the emergence of the akimbo movement seem logical, and this movement also very powerfully illustrates their authority.

At a dinner party attended by businessmen, a psychologist met an entrepreneur.He looks very majestic, and when he doesn't hold a wine glass in his hand, he will habitually make a gesture of akimbo.So, the psychologist smiled and asked: "You must have some troubles in the business field, do you feel that you are not very popular with others?"

The entrepreneur was very surprised and quickly asked, "How do you know?"

The psychologist said: "Because I observed you for a long time and found that you like to put your hands on your hips very much. Among people doing business, this action is very detrimental to the promotion of cooperation. As time goes by, others will leave you more and more. Far away. But I know that's not your intention, you're just used to it. So, I guess you must have been a soldier!"

The entrepreneur was even more surprised, and said with deep admiration: "You are very right. I used to join the army, and I left behind a lot of military habits after I left the army. It seems that if you want to get opportunities in the business field, you can't just put your hips on your hips in the future. "

Putting our hands on our hips makes our attitude look very tough.This is very beneficial for maintaining one's own authority, and can deter those around you, thus making them feel awe psychologically.But for daily life, frequent occurrence of this action will only arouse disgust from others.So, only softening our tough attitude and softening our non-verbal behavior can help you become popular.

The benefits of akimbo

Except for people with very high status and a strong sense of authority, usually when people do akimbo, very little good happens.Even the police, if they don't change this behavior, they will easily expose themselves when they are plainclothes.Akimbo can make people look domineering and intimidating, but it can be beneficial when we need to take the initiative.

Women in society often have some sense of insecurity, which sometimes comes from themselves and sometimes from the environment.Women feel nervous when they are exposed to clothing or around strangers.And female employees in the workplace are often considered weak because of their gender. Even if they are very capable, they will lose to male colleagues under the same competitive conditions.How to enhance your aura and make yourself appear trustworthy?Female employees are always exploring.

When meetings are held in boardrooms, speeches by female executives are often viewed as unintimidating.If she puts her hands on her hips at this time, colleagues will instantly feel that everything is under her control, and she has the ability to control it all.The auxiliary effect of this action is very obvious. It effectively builds up the self-confidence of the female staff, and also makes the people around them change their traditional vision immediately.

When other people have a proud attitude with their hands on their hips, women can follow suit and use the same akimbo gesture to declare: I also have a share in this territory, and I am not afraid of you!

thumbs forward akimbo

Akimbo in the ordinary sense refers to bending the arms, placing the hands on the waist, with the four fingers facing forward and the thumbs facing backward.This kind of behavior makes people feel that the spine is supported, the shoulders and back will be straightened, and the whole person looks full of vitality.And sometimes, people also do akimbo with the thumbs forward.Although this movement is not much different from the movement of the thumb facing backwards, it produces a very subtle change.The forward facing thumb does not seem to give much support to the spine, and the person does not appear too straight.The reason is that when the direction of the thumb changes, the pointing of the elbow also changes.

Different body language represents different psychological changes. The akimbo movement with thumbs forward does not have much to do with the inner sense of authority, but has a lot to do with people's curiosity.Observe people who are very curious about something, they will show similar non-verbal behavior when they think about or study it.And when the things you are curious about cannot be answered for a while, this action will be more obvious.

Sometimes, people feel fear because of the unknown, and curiosity can turn into worry, so the thumbs of the akimbo hands will slowly move outward, which means that the psychological pressure is gradually increasing.This action reflects the psychological change of people wanting to increase their own control, but the position of the thumb has not undergone a greater change, indicating that the answers to the problems people face have not yet been revealed.

arm language similar to akimbo
Akimbo arm movements generally appear when people are standing, and it is difficult for people sitting on a chair to make akimbo movements.And when people maintain a sitting posture, an arm movement with a meaning similar to akimbo appears: hugging the head.

Stretch your hands behind your head and cross your fingers together to form an action of supporting the back of your head, which is to hold your head.At the same time as holding the head, the body will lean back slightly, leaning slightly on the back of the chair.

In a TV talk show, a cultural celebrity is being questioned by the host, and they exchanged views and opinions on some issues.Afterwards, the host asked about the recently published book of this cultural celebrity, and raised questions about the book on the Internet, asking him to respond.At this time, the cultural celebrity leaned back slightly, and put his hands behind his head in a gesture of hugging his head, and then slowly began to speak.

This behavior shows that the celebrity feels that this problem is an invasion of himself, and he wants to prove through his words and actions that these problems are within his scope of solution, and this scope is his territory.

The action of hugging the head is similar to akimbo, both are to expand the area of ​​our body in the space, it seems to want to make ourselves look bigger.Through this act, our spatial "territory" is expanded, psychologically making one feel like a powerful, intimidating individual.

The behavior of hugging the head also shows that he is in control of the situation, and everything at present is under his control.And like other declarations of control, the head-holding action will also appear selectively according to the person it is facing.For example, when the vice president of the company presides over a meeting in the conference room, the gesture of hugging the head will appear.But when the general manager came in suddenly, the vice president's gesture of hugging his head would disappear in an instant.Because he knew that this territory was no longer under his control.

your feet are talking

Because the eyes are in a higher position in the human body, and because the face can convey the most information, people always pay attention to other people's faces habitually, and few people lower their heads to look at other people's feet.The information conveyed by the face is often mixed with deliberate false information, and people seldom use changes in the feet to convey false information to deceive others, which makes the feet more trustworthy than the face.

脚感
To complete an emotional expression, the feet do not seem to need to bear any responsibility.But in real life, when people feel excited, they tend to jump, and when they feel annoyed, they tend to stomp their feet. These behaviors are actually related to feet.

Dancers are the most emotional expressers who use their feet. They use their limbs very frequently, and their feet are used more frequently among all limbs.Among primitive tribes, various celebrations are often held when prey is caught.Some surviving tribes have maintained traditions that have been going on for thousands of years, and one can also see that one of the ways to celebrate is to keep jumping.Expressing your joy through jumping heights can be called the most primitive form of dance.

People who like to watch football games also use their feet to express when they are emotional.A common way of cheering on the field is to stomp their feet. Fans collectively stomp their feet to generate vibrations and sounds to let the teams they support know that everyone is cheering for them.This is also a typical example of expressing emotions with feet.

When people face scary or exciting things, feet will always be involved in emotional expression inadvertently and become an important form of expression.Feet convey our feelings, thoughts and emotions all the time, but have been neglected for a long time. "Feet feeling" is a general term for the emotions expressed through the feet.By mastering the "feet sense", we can get a glimpse of the unknown true emotions deep in people's hearts.

The most troublesome thing for parents is that their children want to play while eating. They always sternly ask the children to put down the toys, or close the door to make him give up the idea of ​​going out to play.When a child is put on a chair and asked to eat seriously, does he really not want to go out to play?You can draw conclusions by observing his feet.

The child who was forcibly placed at the dining table still had the desire to go out and play so fiercely that his feet would keep wiggling and he always seemed to want to jump out of the chair.If his parents hold him down and don't allow him to make other movements while eating, then his feet will slowly turn towards the door to express his desire to get out of the door.

Observing the feet allows us to grasp the clue of a person's true inner thoughts, and through this clue, we can understand what he really wants.Of course, an adult will not always want to go out and play like a child. He will use his own reason to control his desires, but if he does not really give up some thoughts in his heart, his feet will still respond honestly .Grasping the "foot feel" is like finding a loyal intelligence agent, allowing observers to directly penetrate into the opponent's brain.

not hiding feet

Because of their position, the feet seem to receive little attention.The foot at the end of the body always silently undertakes all kinds of hard and tiring work and walks on various roads, but it has not received more attention from people. People only bind it with a pair of socks and shoes It, so that it does not get hurt.No one cares about the emotions of the feet.

Experienced policemen like to observe others, but they don't just focus on facial information like ordinary people, but also include legs and feet in the scope of information collection.Many times, some policemen choose to look at people in the opposite direction from ordinary people, first looking at the feet, and then looking all the way up to the face.They have discovered the important role of feet and legs in emotional expression during their long-term professional training.

"Seeing words and watching colors" is an idiom commonly used in life, and it is also considered to be one of the skills that a mature social person must master.But no one ever told us to "watch our legs and feet."Among the teachings we have received since childhood, we are also told: to smile, to show a happy look!Even if there are 1 unhappiness in our hearts, this kind of teaching will guide us to show a fake smile to deal with the people and things around us.The trained facial muscles began to learn the ability to lie, but the feet have always maintained their true colors.When it's unhappy, it stays still or flees; when it's happy, it shakes, kicks, or jumps.

Whether you are under pressure in tension and fear, or feel comfortable in joy and happiness, or whether you are confident or depressed, feet are silently participating in every change of our emotions.If you've noticed the happy jumping of a couple's legs and feet when they meet, the shy little girl's toes turned slightly inward when she meets a stranger, or the cranky father's spread feet when he sees his son's failing report card , you will know - feet, is trustworthy!
restless feet are happy

The foot is responsible for people's walking and some movements related to sports, so it is best at lifting, stepping, kicking and so on.When observing the feet of people around, besides walking movements, it seems that the most common thing is its swinging and shaking.The appearance of this kind of action means that the owner of the foot is in a very comfortable state, and the mood is so happy that his feet can't help shaking.

happy shaking

In the eyes of traditional Chinese elders, if a person likes to shake his feet, it is a very disgusting vice, because this kind of action will make people appear frivolous and impetuous.But it is not because of this taboo that there are no people who shake their feet in life.Take a closer look at those people who are shaking their feet quietly, they are often in a very happy state, and their expressions are a little smug.This smug demeanor always goes hand-in-hand with the jiggling feet because the brain is sending excitement signals.

If you want to judge whether a person is happy when he hears a certain news, the most direct way is to observe his feet.A jerky foot is the surest signal of excitement, meaning that the news is exactly what he wanted to hear, that he got what he wanted.In the competition in the workplace, if one party shakes his feet, it means that he has already determined that he is in an advantageous state.

During a game of poker, one person caught a very good hand.As a veteran, he certainly knew that he had already grasped the opportunity and was very likely to win this round, so he couldn't help but feel a little excited.But he also understands that if he expresses this emotion unscrupulously, his opponent will definitely realize that he has a good card in his hand. If others form an alliance, his chances of winning will be greatly reduced.

(End of this chapter)