FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 40 Resolving hostility and making you feel like a duck to water (5)
Don't pass up opportunities that can be repaired

Everyone has emotions, and this inner thing will be expressed in our words and deeds.Of course, emotions are also constrained by reason, and sometimes reason can hide some of our emotions deeply.These hidden emotions accumulate in our emotional depths, and once they are aroused by certain words, we will show emotional aggression.The hidden emotions that are aroused are the source of our hostility towards others.If you can clearly recognize your hidden emotions and understand the real reason for your anger, then with the help of empathy, you will have no difficulty coping with the hostility from others.

friend or foe
A breeder is very good at getting along with animals, no matter how fierce they are, he always has a way to make them docile and well-behaved.People are very envious of his abilities, and are very curious about why he can live in harmony with the beasts.A reporter came to interview him, and his answer was simple: "It's because I love them from the bottom of my heart, so they return my love in return."

"Is it possible to get along with animals in exchange for sincere love?" The reporter didn't believe his statement. "I like big dogs very much, but when I get close to them, they will bark at me."

The keeper laughed, "What do you think when you're near them?"

The reporter thought for a while and replied, "I'm always worried that they will pounce on me and bite me."

"That's right, you don't believe that you can get along well with them. When you come into contact with them, you first feel fear and guard, and you are ready to fight back and escape at any time. Animals feel more than humans Keen, once they sense your fear and vigilance, of course they won't accept you, so of course they can't get close to them!"

After listening to the breeder's words, the reporter suddenly realized.

The breeder believes that animals will not harm him. When facing animals, he only has love for animals in his heart, without the slightest hostility.This friendliness tames the beasts and allows them to be friendly with their keepers.

The reporter was unable to get approval from the big dogs because he had doubts and fears about them in the first place.This kind of negative emotion will also arouse the resentment of the animals. The barking of the large dogs aggravates the concerns of the reporters.

In fact, the same is true of getting along with people.Whether it is a friend or an enemy, you must first ask your true thoughts.

Don't miss your chance to turn enemies into friends

What method can be used to destroy the enemy most thoroughly?Let's hear what Lincoln had to say.

Some people think that Lincoln was too lenient with his political enemies, he was always willing to forgive those who attacked him, and worked hard to make political enemies into friends.Someone asked Lincoln inexplicably: "Why do you treat your political enemies as friends? For you, eliminating them is the way to consolidate your strength."

Lincoln replied mildly: "Of course I am eliminating political enemies. When we become friends, won't the enemies disappear? Love and tolerance are the best ways to resolve hostility."

It is precisely because of Lincoln's insistence on such beliefs that the federal government he led was able to reverse its disadvantages, gain more support and understanding, and gradually disintegrate the power of southern slave owners.

In fact, many other politicians have made the same choice as Lincoln.

This is the case with Aung San Suu Kyi, the Nobel Peace Prize winner and Burmese female politician.She has encountered armed attacks by the opposition and has been surrounded by heavily armed troops.The officer yelled at her to stop or kill her immediately.At that time, Aung San Suu Kyi could retreat, surrender, or escape, but she didn't.She insisted on facing the gun directly, and stepped forward, ready to use her life to practice her belief in fighting for democracy in a peaceful way.

As she got closer, the officer became more and more nervous.Just when people thought that the weak woman was about to be buried by the gun, the officer ordered the soldiers to put down their weapons and not to shoot.

What gave Aung San Suu Kyi the courage to face the gun?"Fear comes from hostility, and when I was surrounded by hostile armies, I didn't feel scared because I was never hostile to them," she said.

As the saying goes, "Don't reach out and hit the smiling face", when you decide to treat the other party as a friend, when you respond to the other party with kindness, I believe that the other party's hostility will melt in the sun like ice and snow.Remember, the best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.

better let the other side bow
We often encounter this situation in conversation.The other party sticks to his point of view, speaks eloquently and rhetorically, and when you put forward different opinions, he will often fly into a rage and speak fiercely, criticizing you and your opinions to nothing.There is no way for the two sides to reach a consensus in a peaceful environment. You refute his views, and he criticizes your views. In the end, small problems become big problems, and friendly negotiations become a Cold War stalemate.How to avoid quarrels caused by disagreement?How can you calmly make the other party bow their heads?Let's look at the subtleties of psychological tactics.

With his spear, attack his shield

While boasting that his spear is very sharp and the best in the world, the businessman also boasted that his shield is quite strong and also the best in the world, which attracted many people to watch.When the businessman was proud of his big words, he did not expect a bystander to ask coldly: "If you use the sharpest spear in the world to attack the strongest shield in the world, what will happen?"

The businessman was stunned, and so were the onlookers.They are all thinking about the answer.Yes, there is only one answer, the sharpest spear and the strongest shield cannot appear in front of people at the same time.The businessman's cowhide was blown out, and everyone figured it out, shaking their heads and leaving.

A smart person can see through a businessman's deception, but it takes skill to expose this deception.You rushed up and said to everyone: "I'm sorry, this merchant is a liar, and the spears and shields he sells are all fakes." Who would believe such an unfounded statement?

In contrast, you will find that the best solution is to guide everyone to think about the loopholes in the language of businessmen.The wise bystander's words did not directly refute the businessman's bragging. He just followed the businessman's boasting and raised a key question that no one had thought of.As a result, a simple question left the businessman speechless on the spot.

A farmer married a wise wife and lived a happy life.The rich man couldn't bear a poor boy living so happily, so he called the farmer to his house and said to him: "I heard that you married a smart wife. I really want to know if she is smarter than me. I asked her If she can answer the three questions, I'll let you stay and continue farming; if she can't answer, you'll get out of here."

After the farmer returned home, he told his wife the rich man's question: "How many stars are there in the sky? How many feet is the earth? How many buckets are there in the sea?"

After the wife heard this, she asked the farmer to answer the rich man in this way: "There are as many stars in the sky as the master's hair. If you want to measure the earth, please ask the master to take out a ruler long enough. If you want to know how many buckets of water there are, you have to ask the master's bucket." How big is it, if it can hold the whole sea, then there is only one bucket of sea water.”

The rich man was speechless, so he had to let the farmer go.The cleverness of the farmer's wife is that she returned the rich man's difficulties intact.There are countless stars, and there are countless hairs.The earth cannot be measured, who can come up with a ruler that can measure the earth?The sea is boundless, how can there be a bucket as big as the sea?This is the psychological tactic of using the spear of the other to attack the shield of the other.

Reductio absurdum, a combination of the absurd and the absurd
What is reductio absurdum?Simply put, it is to assume that the other party's point of view is valid, but this point of view leads to a wrong result.Now that the wrong result has been obtained, the other party's point of view is of course not valid.It sounds a bit confusing, why not read a story.

There is a man who firmly believes in karma, and he spreads this idea to everyone around him to prevent people from killing.When he saw someone killing a mosquito, he would mutter about it for a long time, and when he saw someone killing chickens and pigs, he would keep persuading him from the sidelines.

People thought that this man was pedantic and babbled, and they refused to listen to his advice.Finally, the man said fiercely: "God has the virtue of loving life. If you killed a pig in this life, you will become a pig in the next life to repay the crime. Even if a small ant is trampled to death on the road, you will become an ant in the next life to atone for your sin." After hearing his words, a butcher said: "According to what you said, everyone should not kill pigs and chickens, but kill people. Kill people in this life, and be human in the next life!" Everyone laughed, and this man was dumbfounded. Couldn't find anything to refute.

The killing theory in the story is a fallacy, and the butcher makes good use of this and uses his theory to derive an absurd answer.If you kill something in this life, you will turn into something in the next life to atone for your sins, then people can only kill people to avoid becoming pigs and dogs.With such an absurd conclusion, the killing theory will be self-defeating, and the person who advocated the killing theory is completely reduced to a laughing stock.

The nagging of the person in the story naturally annoyed a lot of people, but you can't jump up and beat them up just because you disagree with this person's views.Looking at the butcher again, he was much smarter. He followed the man's words, and finally made him speechless and unable to get angry. He not only blocked the man's mouth, but also successfully eliminated the hostility invisible.

spot the loopholes with humor

Once, Avanti passed by the rich man's house, and the delicious smell of roast chicken wafted from the gate.Avanti stood at the door and smelled it for a while, just in time to be seen by the greedy rich man.The rich man immediately went downstairs to grab Avanti's little donkey and said to him, "Did you smell the aroma of my roast chicken just now?"

Avanti replied, "Yes."

The rich man immediately showed a sly smile, "Since you smell the fragrance, then you should pay for the fragrance, and you can't take advantage of it for nothing, right?"

Afanti thought for a while, took out his purse, shook it at the rich man, and asked, "What did you hear?"

The rich man hurriedly replied: "I heard the sound of gold coins colliding. There are dozens of gold coins in your purse, which should be enough to pay for the smell of roast chicken."

Afanti put away the purse with a smile, and rode away on the donkey.

The rich man chased Afanti for money, Afanti said: "I have already paid just now! Didn't you hear the sound of coins colliding?" Of course, the sound can be regarded as paid.Avanti used the rich man's deceitful reasoning to deal with the rich man, which made this greedy guy feel ashamed.

Of course, a wrong premise can only lead to wrong results. Only by using the other party's mistakes to refute the other party's opinions can the best results be achieved.Instead of getting red-faced due to differences of opinion, it is better to think about the loopholes of the opponent, find the mistakes of the opponent, follow the opponent's words in a humorous way, and then cleverly reverse the meaning of the opponent to resolve the possible disputes between the two parties.

Overcoming rigidity with softness, implementing soft conquest
Psychologists have found that people always fear those powerful people, and are more likely to be hostile because of their strength.On the contrary, people tend to have sympathy for those who are weak in life.People are born with pity and sympathy for the weak. If you deeply understand this and show weakness to others on appropriate occasions, it will not be difficult to dispel their hostility.Frankly admitting your weaknesses and mistakes will make the other person feel your authenticity.You know, who wants to be close to a perfect person?

Expose its short role

At the end of the Warring States period, Qin State had become one of the most powerful states among the vassal states.Qin Wang Yingzheng launched many wars in order to dominate the world.Once, the general Wang Jian was ordered to go on an expedition, and the king of Qin asked him to command all the troops of the Qin State. This was the king's great trust, but there was also a huge crisis.People's hearts are unpredictable, so how can King Qin rest assured of Wang Jian, who is in charge of a country's soldiers?
Before setting off, Wang Jian asked King Qin for a large amount of property, claiming that he would create a family business for his descendants.

King Qin agreed, "Aiqing can rest assured, this king will definitely let you have no worries."

Wang Jian thanked him respectfully.

After Wang Jian led the army to the battlefield, he sent envoys many times to ask the king of Qin for credit, and asked the king of Qin to reward him with good land and beautiful houses.For these, King Qin readily agreed.However, other officials in the court criticized Wang Jian for his great success and greed for money.The news spread to Wang Jian's confidantes, and he persuaded Wang Jian worriedly: "General, you are not greedy for money. Why did you ask the King of Qin for rewards during the battle? If the courtiers are dissatisfied, you have no way to plead guilty to the King of Qin in person." !"

Wang Jian stroked his beard and said: "Don't worry, what I want is not the reward from the King of Qin, but the trust of the King of Qin. I lead an army to go out, and the King of Qin must not rest assured that I have a large army in my hand. I have asked for financial rewards many times, just to It shows that I am not greedy for power, but only greedy for money. King Qin knows my weakness of greedy for money, so he can truly believe that I have no ambition to seek the country!"

After hearing Wang Jian's words, his confidants admired him from the bottom of their hearts.

A flawless subordinate will only make King Qin worry and doubt, while a greedy subordinate can make King Qin feel at ease and trust. This is the effect Wang Jian achieved by exposing his shortcomings.

When you show your weakness to the opponent, the opponent will find that this seemingly strong guy actually has things he can't do!In this way, the opponent will of course relax his vigilance and reduce his hostility towards you.

(End of this chapter)