FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 41 Resolving hostility and making you feel like a duck to water (6)
be a smart person who is not smart
Do smart people show off their intelligence from time to time and distinguish themselves from most people?the answer is negative.When you hold your head up proudly and show that you are superior, most people will feel hostility towards you in their hearts. This hostility may come from jealousy, hatred or rejection of aliens.A truly wise person will not let himself out of the circle of the masses, because he knows the truth that "a tree is as beautiful as a forest, but the wind will destroy it".Therefore, a really smart person will always "be a little stupid" from time to time, let the world see his flaws and weaknesses, and let the world know that he is actually an ordinary person.

William Henry Harrison, the ninth president of the United States, was born in an ordinary small town. The young William was quiet and shy. In the eyes of his peers, he was a fool.

People are always happy to tease this silly little guy.Everyone pushed him out of the corner, let him stand in the middle of the street, and then took out a nickel and a dime for him to choose.Each time, William would choose the smaller nickel instead of taking the dime.

People pointed at William who took away the five cents and laughed, "My God! Come and see, this fool can't even tell the money from the money, how can there be such a fool!"

Because of this stupid choice, William added countless jokes to the people in the town.

Once, a kind aunt couldn't stand it anymore, and she asked William: "My child, don't you know that a dime can be exchanged for more candies?"

William nodded with a smile, "Of course I know."

"Then why do you only take nickels every time?"

William asked rhetorically, "If I took the dimes, would they still play this game of picking coins over and over again?"

On the surface, William was ridiculed and fooled by everyone, but in fact, the reason why William chose the five-cent coin was so clever, because he knew that only when the five-cent coin was taken away, would everyone take out the coin again and again to give it away. He chooses.He gave up a chance to get a dime, but in exchange for countless opportunities to get nickels.

A smart opponent will make you more vigilant and cautious at every step, while a stupid opponent will make you let your guard down and become less hostile.Would you rather be a smart person who makes the other party vigilant, or a "fool" who makes the other party give up hostility?

Ask the other party to come up with a feasible solution
Language is an indispensable communication tool for us, but not all languages ​​can achieve good communication effects.Sometimes we can communicate without words, which is "everything goes without words"; sometimes speaking too much has the opposite effect, which is "too much to say" for both parties in the communication.Why does language have such magical powers?The wonder of this has to be attributed to the psychological effect.Being able to make good use of the psychological effects caused by language can often help us avoid trouble and subtly resolve the hostility of others.

Superfluous "brain supplement"

People with flexible minds are undoubtedly better at controlling language. They know how to read words and expressions, and they are good at guessing people's hearts. Not only can they hear the first half of your sentence, but they can guess the second half of what you want to say, and they can even say what you want to say in advance. if.For example, when you appear in front of everyone sweating profusely, and just about to ask for water, someone with a quick mind has already brought a cup of tea and put it in front of you.Talking to this kind of person will be very easy. They can always easily find the most critical information from your intermittent, stuttering, and inconsistent descriptions.

Simply amazing!You are envious of that.In fact, this is the innate ability of human beings to find a reasonable answer for everything.When we encounter questions in life, our brains will automatically find a reasonable answer based on our life experience, conversation situations and imagination. This is the so-called "automatic brain supplementation", or "brain supplementation" for short.

The benefits of "brain supplementation" to communication are undoubted. People with flexible thinking can always say what they want to say to dull conversation partners based on the information they intercept, so as to make communication smoother.However, in some cases, "brain supplementation" can have the opposite effect, from a communication bridge to a language trap.

There are four misers in European literature, and Grandet in Balzac's novel "Eugenie Grandet" is one of them.This old man's "smartness" has reached the point of heinousness, but it is a pity that such an old guy who has never suffered a loss in the mall will inevitably leave a stain of insensibility in his life, capsizing the boat in the gutter .

Old Grandet once did business with a stuttering Jew when he was young.The shrewd Grandet was so dazed by this guy who stuttered and couldn't articulate a word for half an hour, so he sent a rare "good heart" to help the Jew say what he wanted to say.The Jew trembled with gratitude, and the two quickly negotiated a deal.

Grandet was thinking, such a simple problem has wasted a lot of my time, it is better to solve it earlier, and save some time for the next business, while rushing home.But after Grandet returned home, he realized that he had stumbled. He was completely led into the other party's thinking by the Jew who couldn't speak clearly. He only thought about how to speak clearly. The retelling is clear, but there is no time to calculate the profit of this business. As a result, not only did he not earn a penny, but he lost money!The Jew didn't say a word, but got the most out of it.

what on earth is this kind of happenings?
Grandet uses his own way of thinking to guess the thoughts of the Jews. When he speaks for the Jews, he has actually exposed his true thoughts.The Jews kept silent, not only did not reveal their own situation, but made Grandet's thoughts clear.The enemy is clear and we are dark, isn't it clear at a glance who wins and who loses?

Guess what the opponent means, but expose too much yourself.If you give the other party the opportunity to speak first, you may not necessarily suffer a disadvantage.Only by listening to the other party's opinion first, can we have more opportunities to guess what the other party really thinks, so as to better protect our own interests.

Give yourself the chance to say "no"
Mr. Wang's friend, Mr. Li, bought a new house. After visiting Mr. Li's house, Mr. Wang felt that the price was very good, so he also planned to buy a house in this real estate.On the day of the house inspection, Mr. Wang suffered from dental disease and was so painful that he could not speak.

The sales lady asked: "Sir, which building are you going to see?"

Mr. Wang raised a finger.

The sales lady understood, "You have a good eye. Building No. [-] has the best set of model houses left. Isn't it the first time you have come back to see it?"

Mr. Wang nodded.

When we arrived at the model house, the sales lady introduced the various advantages of the house to Mr. Wang eloquently.

Mr. Wang never said a word, but pointed to the balcony after the sales lady finished speaking.The only drawback of this house is that the balcony is too narrow and can only be used as a decoration.

The sales lady smiled, "Sir, you are really sharp-eyed. In fact, when designing the balcony, the designer's idea was to add a green space to the house. It would be nice to put some potted plants to decorate the space. How about this, the price will be given to you." You have a little discount, what do you think?"

Mr. Wang didn't speak.The sales lady was anxious, "This suite is indeed the best one we have left. The original price was 45. If you are ready to buy it, we can sell it for another 3."

Mr. Wang was overjoyed, because the price Mr. Li bought was 45 yuan, which is said to be the price after the discount.

After returning home, Mrs. Wang happily asked for credit, "I went to see the house with Mrs. Li today, and the sales lady gave me a discount, only 45!"

Mr. Wang couldn't help but said, "I only watched 42 today!"

Mrs. Wang was very surprised, and couldn't believe that Mr. Wang was even better at bargaining than herself.

But Mr. Wang said with a smile: "I didn't say a word, and the price came down automatically."

Mr. Wang didn't say a word, but got more discounts.Mrs. Wang took her acquaintances to bargain, but what she got was not the cheapest price.The difference between the two is that Mr. Wang did not put forward any opinions, and all the proposals were put forward by the sales lady herself.Mrs. Wang made her own request and asked for the same discount as Mrs. Li, but she suffered a disadvantage instead.It can be seen that not everything needs to be "preemptive". Sometimes, whoever exposes the bottom line first will be at a disadvantage.

When you don't know the other party's bottom line, you might as well give way generously and listen to the other party's plan and innermost thoughts.When you are going to buy something with 5 yuan, maybe the other party is only going to offer 1 yuan.

After American inventor Thomas Edison had a new invention, he planned to sell it to a big local businessman.But Edison knew nothing about business. He knew how much his invention cost, but he didn't know how much he could sell it in the market.A friend gave Edison an idea, let him not say how much his invention is worth when he meets a rich businessman, but just say what the invention is useful for, and just show it to the rich businessman.

Edison did it according to his friend's method.After demonstrating the new invention, he calmly sat on a chair and drank tea without speaking.After a while, the wealthy businessman came up and said softly: "Or else, you can sell it to me for 5 yuan."

Edison was secretly delighted. Originally, the highest price in his mind was 4 yuan, but he didn't expect that he would get a higher selling price after letting the rich businessman hang out without asking.

have something to say

The emergence of language is for better communication, but the richness of language makes us encounter new difficulties.Many people are unwelcome for no apparent reason, without even knowing why anyone is hostile to them. "I just said a word or two!" someone would mutter.Don't underestimate every sentence that comes out of our mouths. Even if it is the same sentence, it will cause completely different psychological reactions in the ears of different listeners.Only by looking at the object, the mood, and the occasion to speak, can we avoid arousing hostility due to inappropriate language.

speak out
Yes, you do have a lot of opinions on him, and you even want to scold him with the most vicious language, but what happens after scolding?The problem still exists, and he himself will not disappear because of your scolding, and you have to continue to face a complete enemy.For the sake of momentary pleasure, you will forever lose the chance to make peace.

In the 20s, communications were underdeveloped, and crew members who worked on ocean-going ships often could not return home for a year or so, and had to rely on letters and telegrams to communicate with their families.However, the delivery time of telegrams and letters is often delayed a lot.One crew member's wife had cabled her husband more than a month earlier, reminding him of his approaching wedding anniversary.The wife thought that her husband would send her a gift or a telegram, but several days had passed since the wedding anniversary, and there was no gift from her husband, not even a letter or a telegram.

The wife was so angry that she wanted to send a telegram immediately to scold her forgetful husband, but then she thought that her husband was traveling all year round for the sake of the family, so she held back her anger and sent a sweet telegram instead: "Honey, you are so thoughtful and romantic. I am so happy to receive your diamond ring, it is the best wedding anniversary gift I have ever received."

A few days later, she received a telegram from her husband: "Honey, you are so smart, how did you guess the gift on the way?"

The crew's wife was angry at first. Her seemingly sweet telegram actually implied condemnation, accusing her husband of being inconsiderate, unromantic, and not even keeping an important wedding anniversary diary in his heart.If it is true that the husband did not prepare a gift, then he must feel guilty after reading the telegram.From the telegram, the wise husband understood his wife's complaints and also her hint that she wanted a diamond ring as a gift, and of course everyone was happy.

Just imagine if the wife severely reprimands the husband, will the husband still feel guilty?He will only think that since I have been scolded, then you should calm down.The final possible result is that the two people communicate poorly, and the relationship between husband and wife has a rift.

There are many examples in life. For example, if you can’t understand a stingy colleague and tell him face-to-face that he is “concerned about every detail, he has a small belly”, do you think he can’t turn his back on you?If you say "Sometimes you don't need to be so economical, just treat yourself better", instead of being angry, he will thank you for your care.

Tell the truth
A real estate company was planning to rebuild a new garden area in an old residential area. Most of the residents accepted the conditions offered by the real estate company and agreed to move out and receive compensation. Only a small number of residents were unwilling to move out.Among them was a stubborn old lady who made it clear that she would never leave her current place, and she even persuaded some neighbors who were planning to move.The old lady's behavior greatly hindered the progress of the renovation work, which caused the real estate company a headache.

At this time, Jamie volunteered to stand up and expressed his willingness to persuade the stubborn old lady.In fact, the company has sent people to mediate many times, but they all failed because of the old lady's stubbornness, so colleagues advised Jamie not to do this thankless thing.

Jamie smiled mysteriously and said, "Don't worry, I have a solution."

Jamie came to the street where the old lady lived, and happened to meet the old lady at the intersection.

The old lady said guardedly, "I will never move, so give up."

Jamie said, "Grandma, you are so persistent. But I bet you that most people are looking forward to living in a new house after remodeling."

Jamie took out the intention survey form and showed it to the old lady. Sure enough, more than 90% of the people were willing to live in the new house after renovation.The old lady hesitated, and Jamie struck while the iron was hot, "A capable person like you must be able to help most people fulfill their wishes."

Afterwards, the work went smoothly. The old lady not only moved out on her own initiative, but also mobilized some neighbors who were unwilling to leave to move.

Jamie's psychological strategy is as simple as that. First of all, he recognizes the old lady's ability and satisfies her self-esteem, which reduces the old lady's hostility towards Jamie.Then, he used the aggressive method to persuade the old lady to use her ability to mobilize the relocation, and the matter was satisfactorily resolved.

Express your respect for others with warm and sincere words, let your opponents know that you appreciate them and recognize them, so as to satisfy their self-esteem, you will find that, unconsciously, your opponents put away the hedgehog's spikes, Showing you your soft belly.

(End of this chapter)