FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 43 Hiding yourself and making others impeccable (2)
However, Wang Dun remembered what happened at the banquet. He thought that Qian Feng put on small shoes for Wen Qiao because of that little festival, and angrily reprimanded Qian Feng.Qian Feng was left speechless and walked away in despair.

Wen Qiao finally got rid of Wang Dun's threat. He took the opportunity to return to Jiankang quickly, informed Emperor Ming about Wang Dun's plot to rebel, and discussed with the ministers, making all preparations for crusade against Wang Dun.

By the time Wang Dun found out that the letter was in the wrong person, there was no way out, and he was finally defeated and killed.Wang Dun's rebellion failed, and Wen Qiao's contribution was indispensable. Therefore, he was feudalized as the founding father of Ning County and became a former general.

In those days when Wen Qiao was under Wang Dun's nose, what he did was really not upright. He planned and acted for Wang Dun all day long, and even pretended to be willing. The dissatisfaction and precautions in his heart were not at all. able to expose.Such a life is obviously difficult, but in order to save his life, he has to do so.

Just imagine that as long as Wen Qiao shows the slightest bit of boredom or defensiveness, Wang Dun may use it as an excuse, "If you want to commit a crime, there is no reason to worry about it." If you make any excuse, Wen Qiao may become a ghost under the sword.Only by completely concealing one's original intentions in one's heart, not letting the other party see one's true intentions at all, and pretending to be submissive, can one save one's life and have a chance to wait for the day of escape.

It is true to be upright, but it is not enough if you do not know how to adapt when the time is right.Most of the time, we cannot choose our working and living environment. All we can do is change our mentality to adapt to it. Such changes include hiding our inner true thoughts and protecting ourselves with a hypocritical and submissive attitude.

Just like Wen Qiao in the example, when dealing with Wang Dun and Qian Feng, he showed his mature and experienced skills in dealing with the world. Appropriate compliments make the opponent happy, and kind care makes the opponent let go of his guard without showing any traces. The closeness made the other party feel kind, and in the end, he pretended to be affectionate and reluctant to give up, which also paved the way for him to leave safely.This not only protects oneself, but also gives the opponent a fierce counterattack at the right time.

It can be seen from this that being able to hold back and hide one's inner thoughts is a great wisdom in life.

What you want to say doesn't necessarily need to be said
"Half the talk, stop at the point" is the most common strategy used by many veterans of calculation.Because in this way, not only can you conceal your true inner thoughts, but you can also save room for yourself, and you can retreat when necessary.

Use overtones wisely
During the period of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, there was a case of abolishing the crown prince.Concubine Wu Hui, who was very favored at the time, tried her best to frame the prince Li Ying, trying to make Tang Xuanzong abolish the prince and replace her own son as the crown prince.

Tang Xuanzong was obsessed with ghosts, he believed the slander, and called the prime minister into the palace to discuss the abolition of the prince.Prime Minister Zhang Jiuling was very upright. Considering that the political situation needed to be stable, and the crown prince could not be abolished easily, he openly opposed changing the crown, and made a clear statement to Tang Xuanzong: If your majesty insists on doing this, the old minister cannot obey the imperial edict.

The treacherous Prime Minister Li Linfu was very low-key, did not express any opinions, and did not even say a few words.

After the meeting ended, Li Linfu grabbed Tang Xuanzong's personal eunuch and pretended to say casually: "This is His Majesty's family matter, why ask outsiders to make a decision."

These words reached Tang Xuanzong's ears in an instant.Li Linfu's move was very high. Although he didn't directly express his position, the implication was very clear: Since you and Concubine Wu Hui have already made a decision, then this is your decision, just announce it.

In addition, his seemingly unintentional statement also severely hit his political opponent Zhang Jiuling.I don't express my opinion because it is the emperor's family business, and we, the courtiers, shouldn't make irresponsible remarks, so the person who expresses his opinion and has a firm attitude is too shameful?Can't he tell who is the master?
Li Linfu knows how to use strategy quite well, this trick can be said to kill two birds with one stone.If you want to ask him what he thinks in his heart, he naturally wants to abolish the prince and make Concubine Wu Hui's son another prince; if Zhang Jiuling offended the emperor and was demoted, he would have a better chance to exercise power.But these words can't be said out loud. If you say too much and too straightforward, you will bring yourself to death.Li Linfu's treachery is disgusting, but his art of using overtones is worth learning.

think before you speak
Liu Yong, the prime minister of the Qing Dynasty, was a tactful and wise man who understood the ups and downs of the officialdom, but in fact, he also suffered losses because of his words and lack of consideration.

Once, Emperor Qianlong and Liu Yong talked about the fate of a veteran who was supposed to retire and return home.Emperor Qianlong said that if this old minister came to ask for resignation again, he might not have the heart to refuse.After Liu Yong left the palace, he told the old minister this.

Within a few days, the old minister really went to Emperor Qianlong to resign.Emperor Qianlong was very annoyed by this. He knew that he had only expressed this kind of heart to Liu Yong at that time, and it must be that Liu Yong was not strict enough to say this sentence.Next, Emperor Qianlong immediately thought that if the old official left, the vacant position should have been filled by Liu Yong. Liu Yong said that, it is too obvious to covet this position.

So Emperor Qianlong approved the veteran's resignation, but did not leave this position to Liu Yong, which dealt a big blow to Liu Yong.

From this point of view, careful speech is what a person must learn to live and work in society.As the saying goes, "Diseases come from the mouth, disasters come from the mouth", which means that diseases are often caused by not paying attention to diet, and disasters are caused by not paying attention to words.If you speak without thinking about it, you will easily offend others; if you speak too much, you will expose yourself, which is why there is a saying that "too much will be lost".

Speaking also depends on skill, and what you say should always be less than what you want to say; superficial phenomena can be discussed, but substantive things need to be considered.Pretend to overtones, making people feel that you seem to have said something, but it seems that you didn’t say anything. If you taste it carefully, it seems that you have said it very clearly. This is kung fu.

In 1903, American inventors, the Wright Brothers, flew their first airplane into the sky, which became a world-shattering event at that time and had epoch-making significance in the history of human flight.For a moment, the halo of glory fell on the heads of the Wright brothers, and the brothers became famous overnight.

Soon, the Wright brothers were invited to travel to Europe.At the banquet, celebrities from all over the world came to celebrate the success of the Wright brothers and invited them to speak to everyone.After repeated excuses, the two brothers had to send one of them as a representative to speak.

Standing on the stage, he only said one sentence: "As far as I know, among the birds, only the parrot can talk, but it can't fly high."

There was thunderous applause from the audience.

This incident just illustrates a truth. Those who can speak are not necessarily capable. Those who are truly capable are those who know how to say something but don't necessarily have to say it.

You can put on a mask first
Everyone has a mask to hide their true heart and hide their true motives.Masking is also a form of self-protection, especially with those we don't know well.While hiding your true thoughts, if you can detect the true thoughts of others, you can seize the opportunity and achieve your goals faster.

The real reason workers leave

During World War I, a large silverware company in the United States undertook the job of manufacturing many fine items for the government. This job was very difficult and required some skilled craftsmen.At that time, the company appointed Balenzon as manager.

After Balenzon took office, he found that the factory's production had been severely hindered because of the continuous loss of workers.Skilled workers left in large numbers, and the recruitment of new workers simply couldn't keep up, and it was difficult for newcomers to start working immediately.So Balenzon approached the management staff to ask the reason, and the other party replied that it was because the workers wanted to earn more money.

Leaving a large number of people because they are not satisfied with the salary?Balenzon doesn't quite believe this explanation, besides, the salary offered by the company is not low.Balenzon decided to speak to the hundreds of workers who wanted to check out and leave.

Balenzon asked everyone why they wanted to leave the company. At the beginning, everyone agreed that it was because the salary was not high and they wanted to find a company that was willing to pay more.That's a good reason, and if you're not going to give everyone a raise, you won't be able to stop everyone from leaving.

But Balenzon found something was wrong, because everyone's caliber was too uniform, and their expressions were not so sincere, there must be something inside.Balenzon decided to break down one by one. He started chatting with different people alone, and finally found that among the reasons why employees leave, salary issues can only rank fourth at most. The most important reason is that workers are not satisfied with the working environment. .Indeed, the environment of the company's production workshop is indeed too bad.

After knowing the truth, Balenzon took action immediately. He promised the workers that he would solve these problems one by one. He also mentioned the difficulties at that time. The war was going on, and the government's orders were urgent and could not be resisted.He repeatedly expressed his sincerity to the workers, and in the end most of them stayed.

The low salary is just a mask for the workers, and the salary increase is just a cover. The workers still have real intentions hidden behind the cover.

tacit understanding is necessary
Sometimes, when we have glimpsed the other person's true intentions, it's better not to tell the truth, tacit understanding is also one of the good ways to maintain friendship.

When Max Mason, the former president of the University of Chicago, was in office, he accepted a donation-a laboratory worth 50 US dollars.

The donor is a local rich man.For this rich man, taking out $50 is as simple as pulling out hairs. He can even donate $100 million or $200 million, but why did he only donate $50?It's not that he is stingy, but that he has other plans.

These generous rich people have everything that money can buy, and money itself can't be spent.They like fame very much, do good deeds, hope more people know, hope to be respected.

Mason saw through the rich man's intentions, and he told the local media about the matter calmly, and greatly praised the rich man's benevolent deed, saying that this move solved his urgent need.

The next morning, the rich man who donated to the laboratory saw a large report about himself in the "Chicago Tribune", which praised his generosity, and after seeing his photo, he was very happy. Donated 100 million to the University of Chicago as a scholarship.

Indeed, Mason had guessed the real intention of the rich man. The rich man just wanted to be noticed by the public, because this kind of attention could greatly satisfy his vanity.Mason knew this, but he didn't tell the truth, he just publicized the matter as the rich man wanted, instead of telling the rich man weirdly: I get it, you are a vain person.

From this point of view, in the face of hiding his true thoughts, Mason was superior. He knew the real psychology of the rich man, but he did not reveal his true psychology. This vanity suits, he will definitely donate again.

The motives of all human behavior are quite complex, even if the outward behavior is so simple.In fact, it is not difficult to understand others, as long as we pay enough attention and know how to ponder their opinions or what they say intentionally or unintentionally.

Don't let people see through you easily

The worldly Charlie Munger once said: "When someone is talking, if you don't want to express an opinion, and you don't want others to know what you really think, then you can look at something else, such as leisurely looking at the table. In this way, in the eyes of others, you will have a feeling of being unpredictable, and the other party has no idea what you want to do."

let others not understand you

In the eyes of other journalists, the young Maddison was favored by Goddess of Luck, because he had many opportunities to interview the great industrialist von der Piet.But what others don't know is that Maddison also has his own distress. Although every interview and conversation is pleasant, he never gets any useful information.Recalling the experience of several interviews, Maddison found that it was because Von der Pitt's affinity was so overwhelming that he made you feel that talking to him was an extremely pleasant enjoyment, because he either said some exciting things. Little story, either asks you questions, or simply puts you under his spell in a fantastic way, and then you completely forget the real purpose of the trip, or you never get a chance to start your interview work .

A lot of famous people can use this strategy well, and when they don't want to express themselves or be seen by others, they will often use a little bit of tactics so that you can't understand what they are thinking.

Simpson had been the secretary of Field & Co., but he was now its general manager.Once, on behalf of Field, he went to meet businessmen from all over the world.In the meeting, he didn't say a word, and he kept his head depressed and smoked from the beginning to the end.

Later, someone told Field about Simpson's performance.

Field asked Simpson, "I hear you smoke a lot?"

Simpson replied: "Yes, I had to smoke to keep my mouth shut."

Many people have adopted Simpson's strategy. When negotiating, when they don't want to be seen through by others or don't want to talk too much, they use smoking to cover themselves, so that the other party can't understand what you are thinking at all.Because there are occasions when we do need to treat others indifferently without any reaction.

In the summer of 1917, Colonel House of the United States retreated to his villa.In response to this incident, rumors abounded, and some even said that he and President Wilson had broken up.

Journalists squatted outside his villa all day, wanting him to give a clear answer to these rumors.Finally, General House replied: "This rumor seems to have spread too late. Generally speaking, I remember that it came with the myth of the Midsummer Sea Serpent."

Subtle answer so that the reporters did not get any information related to the truth.

President's real purpose

General Dodge recalled that he and President Lincoln spent several hours discussing an issue, but it was many years later that he understood Lincoln's true intentions.

At that time, General Dodge was a general in the Union Army in the western United States, while General Grant was in Point City in the east.Dodge lived in Grant's house for two weeks, and then went to the White House with Grant to meet Lincoln.

At this time, the Battle of Putomac had just ended, and Grant, as the commander in chief, was under tremendous pressure.

Dodge and Lincoln talked casually for a while, and Dodge got up and wanted to leave.But Lincoln dismissed the other guests, left Dodge alone, and led him to another room.

Such a formal move made Dodge nervous, and he seemed a little restless.But Lincoln on the opposite side didn't say anything. He picked up a book from the table, opened it, crossed his legs, and began to read an interesting article in the book.The article was fascinating, and Dodge laughed as he listened to it, feeling a lot more relaxed.

At this time, Lincoln put down the book and asked him how he felt about his recent visit to Putomac's army.Afterwards, they had lunch together, and Lincoln heard from Dodge everything about Grant and his army and what Dodge thought of Grant.

Many years later, Dodge realized that the table in the room he entered was full of letters requesting to replace Grant and replace him, and Lincoln's real purpose was to hear the truth about Grant from Dodge. Condition.

Lincoln hid his purpose so well that Dodge didn't realize it until many years later.But back then, he didn't understand what Lincoln was going to do.

Sometimes, going straight to the point may not get the answer you want, but if you can adjust your behavior to make the other person feel comfortable, he will naturally tell you a lot of things, and you don't need to expose yourself at all idea.

Let the other party move first

There is a classic idea in Zen Buddhism, which is to use established principles to deal with the ever-changing developments of the situation, which we call the constant change.To a certain extent, we can also understand it as braking with stillness, which means that we wait for others to move first with a wait-and-see attitude, and then think about countermeasures based on the other's actions.In interpersonal relationships, subtly concealing one's true thoughts and letting the other party act first is an effective strategy to achieve the goal.

go back to work
Joseph Choate is a leader in the American judiciary. At the age of 27, he was already the leader of a famous law firm in New York.It is not accidental for Joseph to be able to achieve such an achievement at a young age. In addition to opportunities, he relies more on a strategizing wisdom.

Many years ago, Joseph was just a small employee in the law firm of Aiwazi Southmet.After working there for a period of time, Joseph found that this law firm did not bring him a bright future, so he resolutely chose to resign.

The most interesting event is not Joseph's resignation, but his return to the law firm of Aivaz Sosmet in the end.

When Joseph left, Aiwaci, the owner of Aiwaci Sosmet Law Firm, found that he could not find a suitable candidate to take over Joseph's job.The young Joseph is undoubtedly excellent, which gave Aiwazi the idea of ​​hiring Joseph back.

Ai Watts kept in touch with Joseph, caring, but Joseph pretended to know nothing.The more enthusiastic Ai Watts was, the colder Joseph became.Later, Aiwaci changed his attitude and sincerely hoped that Joseph would help him introduce an excellent employee, but Joseph said that there was no suitable candidate.

Finally, Aiwaci couldn't hold back anymore, and he said to Joseph: "Don't you really understand what I mean? I actually want you to come back and be a lawyer..."

(End of this chapter)