FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 46 Hiding yourself and making others impeccable (5)
Empress Dowager Zhao said: "Now I drink porridge every day."

Chu Long said: "Recently, I have lost my appetite, I can't eat, and I don't have the energy. I insist on taking a walk every day, and I can slowly eat more, and my health is getting better."

Seeing that he had no intention of mentioning the hostage matter at all, Queen Mother Zhao relaxed her guard, and the two chatted cordially.

During the chat, Chu Long suddenly made a request to Queen Mother Zhao: "Queen Mother, my youngest son is called Shu Qi, and he is the most disobedient, but I love him the most. I implore Queen Mother to allow him to come to the palace as a Guard."

The Empress Dowager asked Chu Long, "How old is he this year?"

Chu Long replied: "15 years old, he is still young, I want to entrust him to you as soon as possible while I am alive."

The words of Chu Long's love for his youngest son touched the heartstrings of Queen Mother Zhao, and she said with emotion: "I never thought that you men would love your youngest son!"

Chu Long said: "It's love, maybe even more than your women."

The queen mother argued unconvinced: "No way, I think women love younger sons more."

Chu Long went on to say: "Queen Mother, I think you don't love your youngest son enough, not as deeply as you love your daughter."

Queen Mother Zhao immediately denied it.

Chu Long explained: "As long as parents love their children, they must want to make long-term plans for their children and seek the deepest happiness. When you sent your daughter to marry Yan Guo, you were sad and shed tears because of her going away, but I pray every day, hoping that she will not return home one day, and that her children and grandchildren will be able to be kings in the Kingdom of Yan, and the generations will be safe. You think so long for your daughter, this is the deepest love."

The Queen Mother nodded in conviction.

Chu Long said again: "But now, you have given Lord Chang'an a lot of land and treasures, allowing him to enjoy them endlessly, but you have not given him the opportunity to contribute to Zhao Guo. Imagine if he will be able to stand on his own after a hundred years from you? So I I think your empress dowager's love for Mr. Chang'an is not real love."

Chu Long's words convinced Queen Mother Zhao, and she finally agreed to Qi Guo's request and sent her youngest son as a hostage.Soon after, Qi State sent troops to help as promised and rescued Zhao State.

If Chu Long had come in and kowtowed to the Queen Mother, he would have let her cut off his love and agreed to let his youngest son go to Qi State as a hostage, then the Queen Mother might have spit on his face long ago.But Chulong knows how to use roundabout strategies. After meeting the queen mother, he didn't go straight to the subject, but started a family routine with the queen mother.This not only shortened the relationship with the queen mother, but also let the queen mother relax the tight string.

After that, he brought up the topic of loving his youngest son, which touched the Queen Mother's heart even more. Isn't it because she loves her youngest son so much that she can't bear to let him suffer?

In the end, Chu Long didn't talk about things with national affairs as the most important thing, but from the perspective of love, let the queen mother think from the most selfish perspective of a mother, if she doesn't let her son make some contributions to the country, then Will this child be able to stand up in the future?Will the ministers really support him?

In this way, the Queen Mother finally understood that instead of blaming Chu Long, she would be grateful for his reminder.

Going straight and speaking clearly embodies the vigorous and resolute style of action, but going straight is easy to offend people. Whether you want to give advice to others or persuade them, in short, as long as you speak against other people's wishes, you will more or less give up. People feel uncomfortable, because everyone subconsciously feels that their own ideas are correct, and other people's ideas may not be correct.

If you speak too bluntly, you will make people unhappy at first. When you talk to an unhappy person, it will be difficult to talk easily. In the end, you may either become stiff or have nothing to say.If you cleverly use a little roundabout strategy, put the words from another angle, avoid the most embarrassing point of confrontation, first follow the other party's meaning, then leave room for speaking, and slowly turn the topic around, at this time the other party Maybe understand better what you mean and avoid getting angry or confrontational.This not only achieves the goal, but also does not offend others, which can be described as having the best of both worlds.

Take a step back

In Madagascar, there is a kind of bamboo with very strong vitality. It is widely distributed and can grow as long as the temperature is suitable.However, it takes more than 100 years for this kind of bamboo to flower and set seeds once. This phenomenon has aroused the curiosity of scientists.Through research, scientists have found that the reason is very simple, because few animals that like to eat bamboo flowers and seeds can live for more than 100 years. In order to prevent its seeds from being eaten, this kind of bamboo has learned to endure, and it is precisely because of this The miracle of life is achieved only by the patience with great resilience.

Li Yuan enters Guanzhong

"Small intolerance leads to chaos and big plans", this is a very famous ancient saying, and it is also the truth we need to learn in order to live in the world today.Many people take this sentence as their motto, and even hang the word "forbearance" high up in a prominent place, in order to remind themselves to know how to be patient.

People with ambition and ideals should not care about personal gains and losses, and should not be entangled in small things. They must know "endure the calm for a while, and take a step back to broaden the sea and the sky."

At the end of the Sui Dynasty, Li Yuan raised troops from Taiyuan, and shortly thereafter, he chose Guanzhong as his base for long-term development.After that, he led his army westward in the name of "going to Chang'an and supporting the acting king".However, Li Yuan faced three difficulties, or three dangers, if he wanted to go west and enter the customs.

First, the acting king in Chang'an did not believe that Li Yuan would really support the king, so he sent elite soldiers to resolutely prevent Li Yuan from entering the pass.

Second, the Wagang Army, which was making a lot of noise in the local area at that time, was a hindrance and entangled.

Third, the Wagang Army also used another main force to attack the important town of Jinyang, threatening Li Yuan's rear.

Judging from the above three aspects, the blocking of the Sui army had become a reality, but judging from the situation at the time, they did not send additional troops to fight, so the latter two threats became the main difficulties instead.Wagang's army outnumbered Li Yuan's army nearly ten times in number. As long as they moved one step forward, Li Yuan's plan to enter the Guanzhong would be aborted, and even the entire army would be wiped out.

In order to reverse the situation, Li Yuan had to contain the Wagang Army first.But head-to-head confrontation is totally unacceptable, so he decided to express his humility and sincerity to Li Mi, the leader of the Wagang Army.He wrote to Li Mi, stating in detail his situation of raising troops, and expressing his strong desire to get along with the Wagang Army.

Soon, a reply letter arrived, in which Li Mi persuaded Li Yuan to follow his own leadership, and asked Li Yuan to express his opinion immediately.

At that time, Li Mi had the important pass of Luokou, and there was an inexhaustible amount of grain in the granary near the army.It can be said that Li Mi has already controlled most of Henan. If he moves eastward, he can immediately overthrow Emperor Sui Yang in Yangzhou; and if he moves westward, he can win Li Yuan's favorite place in Guanzhong.This situation is very unfavorable to Li Yuan. If he can't bear to give in at this moment, but becomes an enemy of Li Mi, then Li Mi is likely to wipe out Li Yuan on the spot.

In the current situation, he can only pretend to give in first.So Li Yuan told his second son Li Shimin what he thought in his heart, "Li Mi is an arrogant person. It is basically impossible to win him over to help us. Now we can only pretend to be inferior to him and become friends with him first."

Li Yuan expressed his humility very clearly in his reply letter to Li Mi. He said in the letter: "The only one who can call the emperor today is actually you, Li Mi, and you are the only one who has the qualifications. As for me, I am over 50 years old. I don’t have the heart to think about these things at all. I just hope that when you become the emperor, you can make me a Tang Duke so that I can retire in peace. Peace, so I can't escape to join you for the time being, but my respect and admiration for you will not change."

Between words, Li Yuan cleverly concealed his real intentions, and the humble compliment made Li Mi feel at ease.Sure enough, Li Mi believed Li Yuan, stopped making things difficult, and devoted all his energy to fighting against the Sui army.

As soon as Li Mi turned around, Li Yuan got the chance and entered Guanzhong.After that, he used Li Mi's trust to hide behind him, and asked Li Mi to send people and efforts to attack the Sui army.In the end, the Sui Dynasty collapsed, and Li Mi also suffered heavy losses. Only now did Li Yuan show his true colors, reap the benefits and gain the world.

If there is no previous patience, if there is a head-to-head confrontation with Li Mi, there may not be the subsequent Tang Dynasty, and the history of China will also be rewritten.Temporary patience allowed Li Yuan to win Li Mi's trust, and he was impeccable, finally fulfilling his wish.

Make Han Xin King of Qi
When Chu and Han were fighting, Liu Bang often defeated Zhan because of his weak power.In 203 BC, he was defeated again and was besieged by Xiang Yu in Xingyang.And his general Han Xin led an army all the way north, with continuous success reports, he captured Wei, Zhao and Yan, and finally occupied the whole territory of Qi.

Not long after, Han Xin sent envoys to meet Liu Bang.The envoy conveyed Han Xin's intentions to Liu Bang. Han Xin said that the Qi people were cunning and repeated, and surrender may not be true. Moreover, Qi State is adjacent to the powerful Chu State. It is necessary to set up a king there as a deterrent. Now he asks Liu Bang to allow him to act temporarily. King Qi.

When Liu Bang heard this, he was furious, and cursed: "Now that the enemy is at hand, Han Xin, a brat, actually wants to take advantage of the fire to blackmail me and try to divide power. I hope he will help me day and night. Could it be that he wants to help me day and night? Are you thinking about how to plot against me all night?"

Liu Bangzheng was scolding vigorously, when he suddenly felt that someone stepped on his foot.He turned his head suspiciously, and found that Zhang Liang was winking at him.Liu Bang understood that Zhang Liang meant to stop him, so he stopped the topic.

Zhang Liang knew very well that Han Xin was a genius in the use of troops, and now he has a large number of soldiers in his hands. Moreover, Liu Bang is still waiting for his support. Then there may be two results, either Liu Bang, Han Xin and Xiang Yu act independently and form a tripartite confrontation, or Han Xin simply joins forces with Xiang Yu to destroy Liu Bang.These two results are not what Liu Bang and Zhang Liang expected, so it is better to be patient, first agree to Han Xin's request, and give him whatever he wants.

Zhang Liang expressed his opinion, and Liu Bang immediately accepted it.Liu Bang suppressed his anger, sent Zhang Liang to personally send Yinshou to Han Xin, directly made Han Xin the king of Qi, and recruited Han Xin's army to support him.

In the end, Liu Bang won.

A gentleman has some patience and some can't bear it.Knowing forbearance is a kind of wisdom on issues that are beneficial to the overall situation; knowing forbearance is a kind of open-mindedness when it comes to insignificant details.People who can tolerate will first free up their minds to judge the situation, and then make the best choice, instead of getting angry and forgetting other things.People who know how to tolerate will make the other party impeccable and unable to make things difficult, thus saving themselves a lot of trouble.

In life, many times we only see the success hiding behind when we hold back that moment.

Learn to refuse
In life, rejecting others is often the biggest reason we offend others. When others look at you expectantly, hoping that you will lend a helping hand, rejecting the other party coldly seems to be throwing the other party into an ice hole with your own hands. cruel.Just because I don't want to carry this psychological burden, it becomes difficult to reject people. Either I will not reject others at all, or I cannot master the appropriate method of rejection.How exactly should a refusal be done?

give a clear response

There is such a thing in the salesman's sales skills, try to ask some irrelevant questions, let your customers answer "yes", after getting a few affirmative answers, and then ask the other party to buy, the possibility of success will increase. bigger. (This is the threshold strategy. Let the other party agree to a small request first, and then make a big request. In order to maintain their consistency, the other party will not reject you even if they are not so willing.)
This strategy also just tells us the fact that if you feel that you can’t do something and want to refuse in your heart, don’t hesitate to cause trouble to the other party. Of course, you should not easily agree to anything, at least You should consider your own abilities first.

Shirley Lansing became the general manager of 30th Century Fox at the age of 20. She was the first woman in Hollywood to head a major studio.Shirley's success is not accidental. When her subordinates commented on her, they all said that she is a person who keeps her word and is decisive in her work, and she is very charismatic.

People who have worked with Shirley admire her very much. Hollywood manager Owen Paul once said that whenever Shirley was asked to read a movie script, she always read it immediately and then gave a reply in the shortest possible time .But most people in Hollywood do not do this. After they accept a script that others have worked hard to create, they often have to put it on for several weeks before reading it. Silly wait.They all like to use silence to reject others. This way often causes harm to others, because no one is sure how long the silence will be the last expression of despair.But Shirley will not be like this. Even if she refuses, she will speak very pertinently and make suggestions from the perspective of a friend, letting you know that she will not accept the script for the time being.This not only let the other party know the result, but also get a new direction of efforts. The important thing is that she will not make people wait until they are desperate.So for many years, the favorite person of Hollywood writers is her.

In fact, rejecting others is not a heinous thing, and we don't need to raise the seriousness of saying "no" to breaking with others.Everyone has their own point of view and difficulties. Sometimes they disagree with others, and sometimes they are very difficult and unable to help others. At this time, rejection is harmless. The key is to give a clear response like Shirley .

Let's talk about irrelevant topics first

In Japan, a young man named Akeko visited Soichiro Honda and wanted to sell a piece of land to Soichiro Honda.

The young Akeko said all the good things about this land, tried his best to impress Soichiro Honda, and hoped that the other party could buy the land. He even said that this was his most important business and a good start in life.

Soichiro Honda listened quietly to the young man, without expressing any point of view or attitude.Then, he picked up a fibrous thing on the table and showed it to Akeko, and asked, "Do you know what this is?"

Confused, Akechi shook his head.

"This is a new type of material that I plan to use for the outer shell of a Honda car. This material is very durable and resistant to impacts..."

In the next 15 minutes, Soichiro Honda vividly told the youth about the subtleties of the new material and his love for this material. The use of this material will bring his company to a higher level...

The content of these conversations made Akeko puzzled, but he had to admit that he was also deeply attracted, and even began to imagine in his mind that when this new type of material is really used on the car shell, what will the new car be like? what it looks like.

Finally, Soichiro Honda got up and sent Akeko out in person.When he walked to the door, he said lightly: "I'm sorry, I don't want to buy that piece of land yet."

Akeko, who was still immersed in the curiosity of the new field of knowledge, did not feel very frustrated with this rejection, let alone resented Soichiro Honda because of it. This is Soichiro Honda's brilliance.

Just imagine if he refused the other party from the beginning, then Akeko would definitely use the skills trained by the company on how to deal with rejection, and start questioning Soichiro Honda again. to an unpleasant situation.Soichiro Honda cleverly avoided this embarrassment, and his way of refusing was impeccable.

Decisively refuse when it is time to refuse

Rejecting others is something that will inevitably happen in life. If you don't know how to reject people skillfully, some embarrassing situations may arise.It is also possible that because you don't know how to refuse, you reluctantly promised others, but in the end you didn't do it well, which made others hope in vain and then ushered in disappointment.In this way, the other party will not only not understand your difficulties that you sincerely want to help but have more than enough energy, but will also complain that you have to agree when you obviously can’t do it, and finally messed up the matter.

There is also a situation where I didn't take the rejection because I didn't consider the actual situation and had illusions in my heart, so I didn't have any chance to refuse in the end.

The Japanese master of success told such a story: At the end of the 20s, during the student movement period, a university classroom was in class, and a group of activists from the student movement broke in and interrupted the professor's lecture. , obviously wanting to express their opinions in front of the whole class.The professor felt that they were all students and might as well listen to what they had to say, so he stopped the lecture and gave this group of activists a chance to speak.

As a result, the professor's kind behavior had the opposite effect. The group of students took advantage of the situation and asked him a lot of weird questions, which disrupted the class and made the class unable to go on.But this is not the worst. Since then, as long as it is the professor's class, radicals will appear in the classroom. They disrupt the classroom order and even make rude remarks. This professor has spent a year in this environment.

In the end, Duo Huhui summed up the matter: If we have no intention of accepting the other party, it is best not to send kind thoughts to persuade or influence the other party, because the voice of unwillingness to accept has already been expressed in the bottom of our heart, it is better to express our rejection.If the professor at that time did not allow those radicals to come in tolerantly, but told them not to disturb the class forcefully, maybe the classroom harassment that lasted for a year would not have happened.

It can be seen that in addition to learning how to reject the other party skillfully, we also need to realize that we must refuse when it is time to refuse. This is not only to leave a way for ourselves, but also to respect the other party.This respect may not be obvious at first, but it is important.

Some minor issues
In addition, regarding rejection, we should also pay attention to the following issues.

First, we should treat the people around us sincerely, and actively help others within our ability.You must know that if you usually help others, then even if you want to reject others, it will not be so difficult.Of course, such refusals apply to things that do go against our will.

(End of this chapter)