FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 7 FBI Says: Everything Starts from the Heart (6)
Instructions for asking questions
So what kind of questioning method is ingenious and can win the other party's favor?
First, when asking questions, you must ensure that the questions you ask must be able to show your admiration for the other party's knowledge. This kind of respectful and humble attitude is very important.

McLaren is a world-renowned blacksmith, but he lost at least 20 jobs before achieving such an achievement.The reason for losing these jobs was not his ability, but his ignorance of the importance of humility.

When he was young, McClane was capable and conceited. It wasn't that he didn't like to ask questions, but the questions he asked were too profound and often made his boss unable to step down.In the eyes of his boss, he obviously "knew too much", so he kept losing his job.

When McClane discovered his problem, he immediately adjusted his thinking.Later, he tried asking a question that his boss was well versed in.When he saw the relaxed and happy expression on his boss's answer, he knew that he would never lose his job again.

The second thing to pay attention to is to make sure you are really interested in this question.

Once, a young woman asked Dr. Mike, the president of Princelington University, a question about moral philosophy.The question was very broad and insincere, and Dr. Mike immediately asked back: "Ma'am, do you just want to learn a little bit about this question, or do you want to focus on this topic?"

The young woman walked away in a self-deprecating manner. In fact, she was not sincere when she asked the question.

Third, it should be sure that the other party is willing to answer the question.

Ask yourself, do you also hate it when others ask you questions about privacy?For example: What is the internal price of a product you got?How much bonus did you pay in half a year?What about the club dues, how much do you have to pay?What gift did you give for XX's birthday, and how much is it worth?
Don't these questions make you want to answer and upset?While no one knows better than you, this is simply not an area of ​​expertise.This kind of thing is the same for other people. Questions that poach people's privacy often get resentment.

Some people may ask, when we face strangers, how do we know what others are good at?

It's very simple, you can ask him what he does in his spare time, ask him the most thrilling thing he has experienced... You must know that everyone likes to talk about things related to themselves, and they all like to express their opinions, even if you can't find it for a while. What he is good at, you can also ask him what he thinks about a recent hot news event.

Whether you are facing a leader-like big shot or those little-known little guys, there is a strategy that can quickly win your favor, that is, ask a question that the other side knows well, and ask him to talk about his views.

Accept other people's special habits

In the movie Julius Caesar, Pompey parades through the streets grandstanding.Caesar said to Crassus: "Look, that is Pompey's most special habit." Crassus turned to Caesar and said, "Don't you, Caesar, have some special habits? Using marriage to manipulate politics Isn’t it just your special habit?” Everyone has a different side from others and has some special habits. In the process of interacting with people, if you want to gain the favor and support of others, you must know how to respect other people’s special habits .

sell the bond to the bank president
Anthony Timok, the son of a poor priest, had just graduated from Phillips College at the age of 18 and had no family background.The motivated young man hopes to break into a world with his own ability and make his family live a good life.

But at the beginning, he could only work as a handyman, working for a businessman, doing some odd jobs, and his weekly salary was only one and a half yuan, barely enough to maintain food and clothing, but he worked harder than others.

The boss saw that he was a likable young man, so he asked him to sell railway bonds, hoping to help him improve his life.Anthony was very happy, and quickly found a sales target - Bank President Moses.

If you want to sell bonds to Moses, you must first get to know him.But Anthony is just a small wage earner, and has almost no intersection with the high-ranking bank president, what should he do?

After fighting for many times, Anthony finally got a chance to enter the governor's office and have a word with Moses.He confidently walked towards the office, while silently repeating the opening remarks that he had already thought about.

When he had just walked to the door of Moses' office, he suddenly heard Moses' extremely irritable, almost roaring voice: "Let's get to the point, let's get to the point."

However, the nervous and embarrassed person standing opposite Moses obviously couldn't find the main point. He stammered and repeated a sentence three times, and Moses, in a rage, directly drove this person out of the office.

Then, Moses nodded to Anthony, indicating that he could go over and talk about things.Anthony walked over, took out the bond from his pocket, put it on Moses' desk, and said, "97 dollars."

Moses was a little surprised, glanced at Anthony, and asked, "Who is your boss?"

"Mr. Thomas," Anthony replied.

"And what kickback is he giving you for selling those bonds?"

"0.25%, sir," Anthony replied.

"This rebate is too little. You go back and ask him for a 1% rebate. If he refuses to give you, then I will pay for him!"

In this way, Anthony sold the bonds in his hand almost in an incredible way.Not only that, but he also became a friend of Moses, the prominent bank president at that time, and received a lot of help from Moses in his future career.Three years later, Anthony became a millionaire through hard work.Obviously, in this matter, the accumulation of contacts is much more valuable than his simple sale of some public bonds.

see other people's habits

In the first meeting with Moses, with his keen observation ability, Anthony discovered in a short period of time that Moses is a person who really hates other people's chatter, like the kind of words that don't convey the meaning or talk for a long time without getting to the point The people on the scene will definitely make him irritable.Although this habit is small, it is very strong in Moses.

After realizing this, Anthony went straight up and quoted the price, saving all unnecessary red tape and even greetings.If it was put on others, Anthony might be considered impolite and annoying, but such brevity just catered to Moses' special habits. This young man who didn't waste his saliva won the bank president Moses in this way. goodwill.Since then, Moses has successively purchased many public bonds from Anthony and introduced many friends to him. This is one of the reasons why Anthony was able to succeed in a short period of time.

Different people have different habits, and some habits are even unbearable for you.Smart people know how to tolerate other people's habits that are different from their own, wise people know how to discover and accept them, and "slow" people will only act in accordance with their own habits.This is why some people can make others feel strongly liked, while others are annoying when they appear.

Do not expose short

Hit people without slapping them in the face, and expose others without revealing their shortcomings. In fact, everyone wants to save face. They like others to see their strengths and hide their weaknesses deeply.What others are desperately trying to hide, but you want to go against the will of others and expose it in public, then you have to be careful, the other party is likely to hold grudges.Even if you are best friends, you may become enemies.

need an official

Ming Taizu Zhu Yuanzhang was born in a humble family. He was a monk and asked for food. He also cooked some stolen food in crock pots with a group of poor friends in the field where reeds grew.Once, everyone was so hungry that they scrambled for the food before it was cooked. As a result, the earthen pot was broken and the soup spilled all over the floor.Everyone didn't care about these things, squatted down and picked up the green soybeans and red peppers scattered on the ground and ate them.

All the poor friends at the time knew about this matter, but after Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, he gradually began to avoid these things. He had suffered hardships and had a low life, and these became privacy that he could not touch.

A beggar friend of Zhu Yuanzhang's early years heard that he had become the emperor, so he wanted to come to Zhu Yuanzhang to see if he could get an official position.After thinking about it, the beggar went.

After seeing Zhu Yuanzhang, the beggar shouted long live three times and asked Zhu Yuanzhang directly for an official job.But because the time had passed so long, Zhu Yuanzhang couldn't remember who this person was, so he asked: "Who are you? Just ask me to be an official, so what are you capable of? You must know that our Ming Dynasty It’s not that easy to be an official.”

The beggar thought to himself, could it be that Zhu Yuanzhang did not recognize people after he became the emperor, and deliberately evaded?So he said: "Your Majesty, you don't remember me? Back then we had dinner together, and we gave cattle to others. At that time we did bad things together, but every time you escaped, you ran faster than me, and you were beaten. It’s always me. Once we went to steal beans together, but we had beans but no pot, so we had to use a crock pot to cook the beans. But the beans were not cooked after cooking for a long time. You were so hungry at that time, so you picked up the crock pot I want to eat beans. I don’t agree, so you snatched the earthen pot, and the earthen pot was smashed, and the beans were scattered all over the ground. You don’t dislike it, you squatted on the ground and picked it up to eat, but accidentally I ate all the red grass leaves, but the leaves got stuck in my throat and I couldn’t get them out or swallow them, which made you cry. In the end, it was my idea to the emperor, let you knead the green vegetable leaves in your hands Xiaotuan, swallowed it in one gulp, and took the red grass leaves down."

The officer did not succeed in anti-losing his life

Hearing this, Zhu Yuanzhang couldn't sit still any longer. In front of all the civil and military officials, this person actually talked about these non-existent things and used himself as the protagonist. This is really embarrassing.Zhu Yuanzhang yelled: "Enough, you are so bold that you dare to make up such stories to deceive me. How can I have a friend like you who sneaks around all day long? How can there be such disgraceful things?"

After scolding him, he still couldn't let go of his hatred, so Zhu Yuanzhang ordered the beggar to be dragged out and beheaded. He was charged with spreading rumors about the emperor!
The poor beggar didn't understand until his death how he offended Zhu Yuanzhang.

Zhu Yuanzhang was born in poverty, his parents and elder brothers all died of the plague, and he was really lonely when he was a child.Before he became emperor, he had engaged in many "occupations" and understood the sufferings of the people, which also laid the foundation for him to manage the world later.However, Zhu Yuanzhang gradually showed the extreme side of his character after he was firmly established: on the one hand, he very much hoped that his subordinates could endure hardships, and he took the hardships he suffered back then as a lesson and as a motivation to motivate people to make progress He said that he should educate everyone to be diligent and thrifty, and never forget the people in the world; but on the other hand, he is very taboo about people taking the initiative to bring up his past affairs, whether it is a meal or a monk, in short, he hopes that people will remember the harvest. , but want people to forget the facts.So at this time, the beggar who came to the door but didn't know how to speak naturally hit the muzzle of the gun, which pot was not opened and which pot was lifted. What Zhu Yuanzhang didn't like to hear the most was who said that he had been a beggar, but the beggar talked endlessly. , naturally took his life into it.

In the real world, we may know some secrets because of other people's trust in us, or we may accidentally see or hear things that others don't want to be known. Don't be complacent about it, let alone expose other people's secrets or shortcomings when you ask for others or because of personal grievances.As the saying goes, rabbits will bite people when they are in a hurry. When you really reveal the most private things of the other party, it may arouse the other party's great anger, and the consequences may be unimaginable.

give others proper compliments
If we are always so selfish and want to get something from others without considering their feelings at all, we will not give others a little happiness, a little sincere and proper praise.If we are particularly narrow-minded, then we will inevitably fail in the end.

compliment the maid
Mrs. Kent's old maid has returned home, and she is going to hire a new maid.After she found a good candidate, she called the maid's original employer to inquire about the situation, but the original employer's evaluation of the maid was more negative than positive.

On the day the maid came, Mrs. Kent said to her: "I called your previous employer, and she said that you are honest and reliable, and you can cook well. It will make the house dirty. But I think her words may not be credible, and I think you will be able to keep the house in order."

Of course, the result is that the master and the servant get along very happily. The maid really cleans the house and works very hard, not to mention the good food.

Just imagine if Mrs. Kent gave the new maid instead of affirmation and praise, but blamed first as the previous employer said, the maid's work attitude would definitely not be so serious, and the master and servant would definitely have troubles. It is impossible to get along like friends if you don't understand the knot in your heart.

In fact, Mrs. Kent's strategy is really clever. When you want to correct someone's shortcomings, you might as well praise his strengths in turn, so that he will be more willing to meet your expectations and correct himself.

In this world, no matter whether they are poor or rich, high-status or low-status, as long as they hear the praise of others, they will undoubtedly go all out to maintain this honor, for fear of letting others down and slandering themselves .

Appropriate compliments will not only make others feel proud and happy, but also allow you to gain goodwill, friendship, support and help from others.

Sincere compliments

Charles Schwab was a person whose annual salary exceeded US$20 million in the early 100th century. He was selected as the first president of the United States Steel Corporation in 1901 when the "Steel King" Andrew Carnegie selected talents. .At that time, Schwab was only 38 years old, which can be regarded as young and promising.

Why does the "Steel King" take a fancy to Schwab?Because Schwab is a genius?not like this.Is it because he has a special insight into the manufacture of steel or has very good technical ability?Actually not.By Schwab's own admission, many of his staff were far more knowledgeable about steel than he was.

So what is the reason why Schwab can get such a high salary?

The reason is that he has a set of skills to get along with others.He once said: "I think my ability to inspire people is the greatest asset I have. And the way to bring out the best in a person is to give them the best praise and encouragement. Nothing kills a person more than criticism I never criticize anyone, I praise and encourage others to work. To be honest, I like to praise and hate to find fault."

Schwab is such a person who is sincere in approbation and happy to praise.It is precisely because of this that the employees under him work very hard, and the friends around him also like him very much.His willingness to compliment others won him friendship as well as fortune.

Sincere and appropriate praise is also one of the secrets of "Oil King" Rockefeller's success.One year, his partner Bev was doing a business in South Africa, and the company lost $100 million due to misjudgment.This is a very serious matter, and it stands to reason that Rockefeller should be greatly criticized.But he knew that Bev had tried his best, not to mention that things had already happened, and accusations were useless.So Rockefeller chose another way, and he praised Bev: "Thank you for saving 60% of the investment for me. This is already great, at least we still have so much money to do the next business, Isn't it? I don't think we can be so lucky every time."

It was because of Rockefeller's praise that Bev got rid of the frustration of failure and threw himself into the new job in time.If Rockefeller hadn't understood this comforting tactic, and had lashed out at the $100 million loss, Bev would have walked away frustrated and remorseful.But what does leaving mean?It is impossible to get back the lost money, so why lose a good assistant even worse?
A charming smile in return for compliments

The young Vic also bought himself a moving smile because of his sincere praise. This kind of smile is full of friendship and beauty, and it is a positive force.

Once, Vic was queuing up at a post office on a certain street in New York, USA, and he wanted to send a registered letter.Vik found that the registered staff seemed impatient, not because of any annoying customers, but because of weighing packages, selling stamps, collecting money, giving change, issuing receipts... these actions day after day , Year after year, without the slightest change, the passion for work has been completely wiped out, leaving only impatience.

Vic said to himself: "I want to make this brother like me." Obviously, in such a job where thousands of faces are faced every day, it is difficult for the post office worker to like any strange customers. Well, Vic had to say something nice to win his favor.

So Vic asked himself, "Is there anything I admire about him?" Sometimes, that's not an easy question to answer, especially with strangers.But Vic quickly found something admirable in the other party.

So when it came to Vic, he enthusiastically said to the worker, "I wish I had your hair."

The other party raised his head, his expression was a little surprised, and then he showed a smile. "Well, actually, it's not as good-looking as it used to be." He replied modestly.

Vic told him that although his hair had lost some of its luster, it still looked good.This remark made the other party very happy, and they chatted happily throughout the process of sending the express mail.In the end, the staff member told Vic that quite a few people had complimented his hair.

(End of this chapter)