In your 20s, you must understand the wisdom of success

Chapter 16: Successful Relationships (5)
The crow was caught in the net, asked Apollo for help, and vowed to burn incense wood in return.But when it was out of danger, it forgot its promise.Not long after, it was caught again.This time it didn't dare to go to Apollo again, so it went to Hermes and promised that after being rescued, it would definitely offer a tribute.Hermes said to the crow: "You will not keep your promise. You have broken your promise to the Patronus. How can I trust you?"

Keeping promises is not only a noble quality and sentiment in life, but also respects oneself while reflecting respect for others.

Keeping promises means keeping promises, which is an external expression of loyalty.People cannot do without communication, and communication cannot do without credit. "Small trust makes great trust." Whether it is running a country, running a family or doing business, trustworthiness is essential.A trustworthy person can gain the trust of others if he is consistent, consistent in words and deeds, and consistent in appearance and inward.Because people can judge his behavior based on his remarks and carry out normal communication.

The so-called keeping faith means that promises must be fulfilled. "No one can stand without trust", if you promise something to others, the other party will naturally count on you; once others find out that you have written a "bad check" and your words don't count, they will have a strong resentment. "Blank check" not only adds unnecessary trouble to others, but also damages one's own reputation.Do your best to do the things entrusted by others, but don't promise things that you can't do at all.Washington once said: "You must keep your promises, and don't do things beyond your power." This sage warned others that they could not fulfill their promises because they undertook some work beyond their powers or for grandstanding. It is easy to lose credit.

A person who keeps his promise is a real gentleman and a grand general, while a person who breaks his promise must be a villain, at least a braggart.

As the saying goes: Silence is golden.You can keep silent, but if you speak, deliver on your words.This is the standard for measuring personality and quality.

Moderate commitment, earnest commitment

There was once a story between the Norwegian musician Edward Gligo and a little country girl.Once, the young Grigor went for a walk in the forest in the countryside, and happened to meet an 8-year-old girl Dagny who was carrying a small basket to collect flowers and wild fruits.They met quickly and became good friends.When he broke up with the little girl, Grigor said sorry to the little girl that he had no present to give her now, but he promised to give her a present, and said it would be a very good present, just He added that the gift would not be given to her until 10 years later.This makes the little girl Dagny perplexed and grateful. Ten years later, Dagny is already a slim 10-year-old girl.For the first time, the daughter of the beautiful forest ranger left her hometown and came to Oslo, the capital of the motherland, and walked into a park where an open-air concert was being held for the first time.Suddenly, she heard the beautiful melody that seemed to take her into the dreamlike forest of her hometown again.Then, she heard the announcer report to the audience: "The next program is the most proud work of our music master Edward Grigor. Peterson, when she turns 18." Suddenly, she felt her whole body boil, and she recalled the promise of the young man who walked in the forest of her hometown 18 years ago, the promise made by the young man. The best gift is this piece of music that will surely spread throughout Norway, and of course it will reach her ears sooner or later.What an unexpected way to promise!
If a person wants to "learn to be a man", he cannot ignore the important part of obtaining a good reputation-the art of life of moderate commitment and practical promise.This is an art that everyone needs to master, and it is an art that is especially indispensable to all those who strive to make a difference today.

Generally speaking, moderate commitment has rich connotations, and it varies from person to person and from situation to situation, so it is difficult to define it uniformly.However, it is not difficult to see from the real situation of most people that if the promise is lost, it will often make people fall into embarrassment, worry, and even a very embarrassing situation.Therefore, under normal circumstances, before deciding to commit, you should prevent emotional impulse, keep a cool head, and pay attention to the moderation of commitment.

Never giving up the overall strategy and ultimate goal of life is the general principle of grasping the appropriateness of commitment, which naturally does not exclude certain "tactical" commitments made in order to approach the goal of life in a roundabout way.In this regard, some people lack the ability to grasp and judge the cause and effect of some major commitments and the big goals of life as a whole. At this time, they may also wish to learn from some suggestions from relatives and friends, so as to reduce the factors of blindness and increase the risk when deciding whether to make a commitment. Beneficial discernment.

Never blindly committing to "manufacturing" an incapable, unchangeable, and increasingly heavy burden for yourself is the premise of grasping a moderate commitment.Because keeping promises can only be fulfilled satisfactorily if we do what we can, show mutual understanding, and leave some room.Note that making a commitment to state that certain circumstances may lead to flexibility does not diminish the seriousness of the commitment.Leaving room for promises is one of the difficulties in the art of life, and it is also a clear sign of the maturity of the way of dealing with interpersonal relationships. This requires people to make "appropriate" promises-to satisfy the other party and let themselves take the initiative.

Successful people pay attention to the details of commitment.He will not promise something easily, will not write "empty promises", even if he is sure, he will not promise easily.

Napoleon said: "I never promise easily, because the promise will become an inevitable mistake."

Fulfilling promises to others can be called promises.Commitment is an important link for a person to learn to shape his own image and improve his posture.Whether a person can keep his promise often clearly reflects and heralds his demeanor, spiritual taste and art of life, as well as his future life direction.Promised reputation is often the first prerequisite for the next cooperation or to attract more partners.Under the market economy and knowledge economy system, it can be said that it is the key to determine the success or failure of a person's survival and management. In the era of "information network", a person's good or bad reputation can be spread all over the world in an instant, thus becoming a hard indicator of whether people can live in dignity.

Keyword perception: promise
Promises require that one walks the talk.Consistency means that people feel that what you say is the same as what you do.Consistency between words and deeds is an attitude, a state of thought and behavior.People who match what they say and do are open-minded;

(Chapter 10 Competition - Find an "enemy" to love

Bless those who curse and hate you, give thanks to your enemies and rivals, for they are what make you strong.It will also enable you to live more fully and better immerse yourself in infinite love.

Find yourself an "enemy"

In a national forest park in Peru, there lives a young jaguar.Since the jaguar is an endangered and rare animal, in order to protect this rare tiger well, the Peruvians specially set aside a forest of nearly 20 square kilometers in the park as a tiger park, and also carefully designed and built luxurious buildings. Tiger house, so that it can live freely.In the Tiger Garden, there are dense forests, lush grass, criss-cross ravines, gurgling water, and groups of artificially raised cattle, sheep, deer, and rabbits for the tigers to enjoy.However, no one has ever seen it crisscrossing the majestic mountains and rivers, roaring proudly in the vast jungle, to catch the "live food" specially prepared for it.It just hangs its head, sleeps and eats, eats and sleeps, looking listless.Some people say that it is probably too lonely, if it has a companion, maybe it will be better.Therefore, the park management department rented a tigress from Colombia to keep it company, but the result remained the same.

One day, a zoologist visited the forest park and saw the jaguar's laziness. He told the administrator that the tiger is the king of the forest. They only know how to eat grass all day long, but don't know how to hunt and kill animals.A few wolves should be put in, and at least two jackals should be put in, otherwise, the jaguar will not be able to cheer up anyway.

The administrator followed the zoologist's advice and introduced several jaguars from other zoos into the tiger park.This trick really worked. Since the day the jaguar entered the tiger park, the jaguar could not lie down anymore.Every day, it either stands on the top of a high mountain and roars angrily, or swoops down the hill like a hurricane, or patrols and wanders vigilantly at the edge of the jungle.The fierce, domineering nature of the tiger is reawakened.It became a real tiger again, the real king of the forest in this vast tiger garden.

The Jaguars regained their lost glory because of an opponent like the Jaguars.With an opponent, there will be a sense of crisis and competitiveness.

Finding an "enemy" and setting up a competitor can stimulate your potential, set yourself a goal of catching up, and cultivate your own winning mentality.Of course, the purpose of establishing a competitor is not to prove that you are better than him, but to use his standards to improve yourself.

Finding an opponent for ourselves is not blindly looking for a "challenger". Here we need to be clear: we are looking for an "opponent" for ourselves instead of an "enemy". Knock down the opponent to the ground, and then panting to decide the winner and loser.

To find an opponent for myself, to put it bluntly, is to strengthen myself and temper myself.Let the weather-beaten heart continue to absorb the nutrients of growth in the ups and downs of the years.

Finding an opponent for yourself, in a sense, is it not testing your own spring called destiny, how much weight can it bear from life?
Your competitors can be co-workers, old classmates, best friends who play football, or the most high-profile and respected people.In short, as long as he has advantages that you don't have, he can be your competitor.The better your competitors, the faster you will improve.

One of the important reasons why Zhang Yang was able to improve his total score by 38 places in the whole grade in just over a month is that when he was still around 100 in the whole grade, he did not compete with the 99th place. Instead, he directly set the No. 1 in grade who was considered "invincible" by his classmates as his competitor.Zhang Yang not only learned the proven effective learning methods of his competitors, but also learned the successful experience of students from world-class universities such as Harvard.He is determined not only to get good grades in the "sprint" in middle and high school and to be admitted to his ideal university, but also to make himself the ultimate winner in the "marathon" race of life.

What if you are already so good that you have few competitors?Bill Gates believes that the battle flag of forward attack should always be held high. No matter how the external environment changes, no matter whether the opponent exists or not, he must continue to attack the field of interest, and he must not slack off at all.Even if there is no opponent, we must continue to surpass ourselves.

Learn to Love Your "Enemy"

In a person's life, he will definitely encounter all kinds of opponents. This is conceivable, but there is no need to worry.Because "enemy" is a double-edged sword, it may pose a threat to a person, but it may also become a motivation for a person to make progress.

We should be thankful that we have an "enemy" or a strong opponent, and thankful for the difficult situation we have encountered, because this is the opportunity for us to stand out.

The "enemy" can make you discover your own shortcomings more timely and deeply, so as to make yourself more perfect and achieve unexpected results.

The person who can be your opponent must have the ability and strength to rival you.Many of the people Lincoln appointed to high positions were political opponents who had criticized or humiliated him, yet Lincoln was able to unify the United States.This is the great effect of loving your "enemy".

However, if you treat your opponent with revenge and hatred, what kind of situation will it lead to?It will make your opponent stand firmer against you, obstruct and sabotage your actions, and destroy all the achievements you have created.And you, because your heart is full of vengeful anger, have no time to care about others. How can your ideals and goals be realized?

A man who was cheated out of a large sum of money by his friend, and whose loss had greatly affected his career, was angry and depressed, and often cursed the man in his heart with resentment.

But his mother said to him: "Son, don't live in resentment, bless your enemies!"

Although he was unwilling, he had no choice but to start blessing this person every day. As a result, within a year, this person actually appeared and repaid his debt.

Jesus once said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

When you learn to love your "enemy", you are a winner no matter how you look at it.When you get along with people in the future, you will be able to tolerate people and affairs in the world, come in and out without hindrance, and advance and retreat freely. All of these are the capital for your future success.

Keyword perception: competition
What the "enemy" gives us is not only crisis and struggle, but also a driving force that can stimulate our desire to survive and win.So, be kind to your opponents!Love your "enemies"!Because of his existence, you will always be a majestic "jaguar" and live a more exciting life.

(Chapter 11 Gratitude—with a grateful heart

Gratitude is a profound feeling, which can enhance personal charm, is the source of human happiness, can open the door of magical power, and discover infinite wisdom.Gratitude, like other desirable traits, is a habit and an attitude.You have to be genuinely grateful, not just fake.

Gratitude
A poor student sells products door to door in order to make up for his tuition.Since he wanted to make up for the tuition and didn't want to spend more money, he decided to bite the bullet and beg for some food.

He knocked on the door of a house, and it was a little girl who opened the door. He lost his courage when he saw it, and thought to himself: How can a big boy beg for food with a little girl in the world?So he just ordered a cup of boiled water to quench his thirst.

The little girl saw that he was very hungry, so she brought him a cup of boiling water and some pieces of bread.He quickly took the food and devoured it voraciously. Seeing him eating like this, she couldn't help secretly laughing.

After eating, he said gratefully: "Thank you, how much should I give you?"

She smiled silly and said, "No need, our family has a lot of these foods."

He felt very lucky to be cared for so warmly in a strange place.

Years later, the little girl contracted a rare disease, and many doctors were helpless.The girl's family heard that there was a doctor with excellent medical skills, and they asked him to see if there was a chance of a cure, so they hurriedly took her to receive treatment.Under the doctor's full treatment and long-term care, the girl finally recovered her former health.

On the day she was discharged from the hospital, the nurse handed her a bill for medical expenses. She hardly had the courage to open it to read it, knowing that she might have to work hard all her life to pay back the medical expenses.Finally she opened it, and saw the following passage written in the signature column:

"A cup of boiled water and a few pieces of bread are enough to pay off all medical expenses."

With tears in her eyes, she finally understood that the attending doctor was that poor student back then.

There is a "mutual reward interaction effect" between people, that is, how you treat others will be rewarded in the same way.

Gratitude is not only a good state of mind, but also a spirit of dedication.If you express your gratitude to others for their help, then the relationship between each other will change, the distance between each other will be shortened, and the feelings will echo and resonate.The other party will give you more care and better returns when they are excited and joyful, so that the communication atmosphere will be more friendly and harmonious.

People with strong self-esteem are truly humbled when they realize how much God has given them.They appreciate the contributions others make to their lives.

A graduate of a famous university applies for a job in a big company.The boss looked at his face and asked unexpectedly: "Have you ever bathed and wiped your parents?" "Never." The young man answered honestly. "So, have you ever beat your parents' back?" The young man thought for a while, "Yes, that was when I was in primary school, and my mother gave me 10 yuan back."

At the end of the conversation, the boss said to him: "At this time tomorrow, please come again. But there is one condition. Just now you said that you have never wiped your parents. Before you come here tomorrow, I hope you must wipe your parents once. Yes. Can you do it?" The young man thought it was a test, so he agreed.

Although the young man graduated from university, his family was poor.His father died shortly after he was born, and since then, his mother has worked as a servant to earn money.The child grew up gradually, with excellent academic performance, and was admitted to a prestigious university.Although the tuition fees are daunting, my mother has no complaints and continues to help him to go to school.To this day, the mother is still working as a servant. When the young man arrived home, the mother had not come back.His mother must have dirty feet when she was away from home, so he decided to wash her feet.

After the mother came back, she felt very strange when she saw her son washing her feet: "I can still wash my feet. I can do it myself." When the young man explained why he had to wash his mother's feet, the mother understood very well Sit down according to the son's request, wait for the son to bring the water basin, and put his feet into the water basin.

(End of this chapter)