In your 20s, you must understand the wisdom of success

Chapter 17: Successful Relationships (6)
The young man held the towel in his right hand and held his mother's feet with his left hand. Only then did he realize that his mother's feet were as stiff as wooden sticks. He couldn't help crying while holding his mother's feet.When he was studying, he spent the tuition and pocket money sent by his mother as scheduled with peace of mind. Only now did he know that the money was his mother's hard-earned money.

The next day, the young man went to the company as promised and said to the boss: "Now I know that my mother has suffered a lot for me. You made me understand the truth that I didn't learn in school. Thank you! If it weren't for you , I have never held my mother's foot, I only have my mother as a relative, I have to take good care of my mother, and I can't let her suffer anymore."

The boss nodded and said, "You can go to work at the company tomorrow."

Gratitude is the root of love and a necessary condition for happiness.If we can be grateful for everything we have in life, we will be able to experience the joy of life, the warmth of the world and the value of life.Benedict said: "It is not virtue to receive favors, but to repay them. Virtue arises when he is actively engaged in the work of gratitude."

Parents have given us life, the country has given us peace, and others have given us help... Have you ever been grateful for all of these?Only with a grateful heart can you appreciate the happiness in life.

A person who knows how to be grateful, when he realizes how rich God's gift is, he will be truly satisfied and happy.He appreciates what others have contributed to his life.Anyone who prides himself on his success should remember how much he has received from heaven and others.Then instead of dwelling on what he has lost, he will celebrate what he has.

In this world, there will be more and more things you are grateful for, and fewer and fewer things you take for granted.Let us develop an attitude of gratitude in all things.Thank you to everyone who has helped you, to everyone around you.

The more things you are grateful for, the more you get.

The greatest tragedy in the world is a person who says without shame: "No one gave me anything!" Whether such a person lives poor or rich, his soul must be poor.

words of gratitude to say
Bill has a blood problem and tires easily.One day he drove home feeling tired and wishing he could take a nap.At this time, a neighbor happily ran over and said that he helped Bill plant two vegetables in the garden.Bill said thank you casually and went to bed because he was feeling so sleepy.

Drowsiness came over Bill, but he never fell asleep.Bill sat up abruptly, realizing that his uneasiness was due to his failure to thank his neighbors heartily.Immediately he went out into the garden, apologized to his neighbor for his indifference, and renewed his sincere thanks.Bill said: "This neighbor knew that I had cardiovascular problems and knew that rest was important to me. When he knew that I interrupted my sleep to thank him, he was very moved and helped me grow two more vegetables. We Both benefited from another thank you."

"Being grateful and not saying it is like wrapping a present but not giving it," Bill said.

An attitude of gratitude helps build relationships.Conversely, people who don't know how to be grateful are often difficult to win the respect, favor and support of others.If you take the help of others for granted and don't need to be grateful, it will have negative effects unintentionally.

A grateful heart will bring us endless happiness.Being grateful for every possession in life can make us content and happy.Gratitude is not showing off, not stagnating, but seeing all possessions as a kind of honor and encouragement, and taking positive actions to repay in deep gratitude.The heart of gratitude makes people vigilant and active, loves life more, and their creativity is more active; the heart of gratitude makes people open their minds to the world and devote themselves to benevolent actions.People who are not grateful will never know how to love, and will never be loved by others.

Gratitude or not is a person's attitude towards life.If you learn to be grateful every day and face everything with a grateful attitude, even the unsatisfactory things will become nothing.When the wind comes, we are grateful, it blows away the fallen leaves; when the rain falls, we are grateful, it nourishes the land.I remember a song called "Grateful Heart", which was sung very well:
Thanksgiving heart, thank you,
Be with me for the rest of my life and give me the courage to be myself.

A grateful heart thanks fate,

I will cherish the flowers as they bloom and fall.

Gratitude and compassion are close relatives.Always be grateful, and you will become more humble, honorable and noble.Take a few minutes each day to be grateful for your good fortune.

"Thank you" and "I am very grateful", these words should always be on the lips.Showing your gratitude in a special way, giving of your time and effort, is worth more than material gifts.

In interpersonal communication, more gratitude means more love and understanding, and the relationship between people will become closer in mutual gratitude.Don't forget to thank others, tell your friends, your boss, your colleagues, your family, how grateful you are to them, and repay them with a good attitude, so that you can win more trust and support And help, this is something that is of great benefit to you, why not do it?

If there is gratitude in your heart, you have to pack it into a gift and send it out.

Keyword perception: gratitude
Be grateful to the person who hurt you, because he tempered your mentality; grateful to the person who deceived you, because he enhanced your knowledge; grateful to the person who whipped you, because he eliminated your inertia; grateful to the person who abandoned you, because he Teach you to be self-reliant.

If you want to have a good life, you should have a grateful heart.If you learn to be grateful, you will be generous and your life will be better.

(Chapter 12 Privacy - keeping a distance is to respect

If a person can be seen through at a glance, it will not only be difficult to be respected by others, but even put himself in a dangerous situation.Don't reveal your secrets to others easily. Keeping your secrets is a kind of respect for yourself and an act of being responsible for yourself.

Avoid walking into other people's "minefields"

After Qin Hui became the prime minister of the Song Dynasty, many people wanted to curry favor with him.There is a person who is very good at flattery, has always had a good relationship with Qin Hui, and has received countless benefits from Qin Hui's care.

In order to "take the relationship to a higher level", this person racked his brains and managed to obtain a very precious Persian carpet and gave it to Qin Hui.After the carpet was delivered, Qin Hui asked his family to spread it in the house, and it looked that the size was not too big or too small, and it was just right.Everyone praised the gift giver for his foresight and thoughtfulness, and that person was also complacent.But Qin Hui felt very uncomfortable in his heart.

It turned out that in order to win Qin Hui's favor, this person had carefully observed the size of the house and made visual inspections every time he went to Qin Hui's house.Therefore, the rugs he sent would fit perfectly.

However, not only was this person's actions not praised by Qin Hui, but Qin Hui found an excuse to kill him.Why is this so?Because Qin Hui felt that this man was too scheming, and he could calculate the size of his own house so accurately, so he must know other things about him like the back of his hand.Qin Hui felt that it was too dangerous to keep such a person by his side.

In fact, not only the treacherous and treacherous Qin Hui does not want others to know his privacy, but most people also have this mentality.

Some people think that caring about other people's private affairs is a cue of intimacy, or a path leading to intimacy.In fact, some things are inconvenient to share with others.

Everyone has things that they don't want everyone to know, that is to say, everyone has their own privacy. When getting along with others, try to avoid talking about other people's privacy, otherwise it will appear that you have low personality, lack of self-cultivation, and even destroy you. Amicable relationships with others.

Your friends, no matter how close they are to you, regardless of you or me, have the right to bury their privacy, not to reveal it to you, not to let you see it.If you respect your friends, you must avoid inquiring about their privacy.This is not indifference, but empathy.Knowing a friend's privacy is sometimes only harmful to the friend and to myself, but not beneficial. It not only increases the psychological burden on the friend, but also increases the sense of responsibility for keeping it secret.Some people like to inquire about other people's privacy, relish talking about it, and take pleasure in it. This is an unhealthy psychological reaction, a manifestation of low-level taste and vulgar style, which is despised and unacceptable by people with good conduct and noble sentiments .Some people like to rummage through their friends’ drawers, randomly open their friends’ letters, and browse through their friends’ diaries without authorization. They claim to be intimate with others, regardless of you and me.Doing so is not only annoying, but also exposes his bad behavior and lowers your personality.In addition, don't inquire about or disclose your immature ideas, unfinished papers, or reports from friends, so as not to damage his emotions, interfere with his thinking, and affect his work.

The bracken and an unknown flower not far from it are good friends.Every day at dawn, the bracken and the nameless flower greet each other at the top of their voices.As time went by, both of them regarded each other as their closest friends.At the same time, the two found that it was inconvenient to talk at the top of their voices every day due to the distance, so they decided to get closer to each other. They believed that the closer the distance between each other, the easier it was to communicate and the easier it was to deepen their relationship.

So, the bracken desperately expands its branches and leaves, it grows vigorously, the stretched branches and leaves are like a big umbrella, and the nameless flower tries to tilt its stems and branches towards the direction of the bracken, and the distance between them is getting closer up.

Unexpectedly: because the branches and leaves of the bracken are like a big open umbrella, it not only blocks the sunshine of the nameless flower, but also blocks its rain and dew.The nameless little flower that has lost the moisture of the sun and rain is withering day by day. It is sad and no longer shares friendship with Bracken. On the contrary, it thinks that Bracken has bad motives and deliberately murdered itself, so it hates Bracken in its heart.

As for the bracken, because the branches and leaves were too lush, after a violent storm, its branches and leaves were broken off, and there were not many leaves left, and its body was bare.Looking at herself covered in bruises, Bracken blamed the nameless flower for all the consequences. If there was no nameless flower, it would never let its branches and leaves grow wildly.

As a result, a pair of good friends turned against each other.

The so-called "keep a distance", in the final analysis, is not to be too close, inseparable all day long.Keeping a distance is a way of dealing with friends who are physically distant but who are closer in spirit.

"Keeping a distance" can create a kind of "ritual" between the two parties. With this "ritual", they will respect each other and avoid collisions that may cause harm.This kind of "ritual" is to avoid inquiring about other people's privacy as much as possible. Whether it is a friend or someone who is not close, privacy is a "minefield" for others.

Avoid talking about other people's privacy. First, you should not intrude on other people's privacy in a conversation, and second, you should not spread it everywhere if you know a little bit of other people's privacy.The universe is so big that there is everything to talk about, so why bother to use other people's privacy as talk-tops?

When dealing with other people's privacy, we must avoid copying what others say and spreading rumors.why would you said this?First of all, you have to understand that what you know about other people is not necessarily certain, and there may be many hidden things you don't know.If you spread the one-sided words you hear without thinking, you will inevitably turn right and wrong and confuse black and white.You can’t take it back when you say it, and you only regret it when you fully understand the truth afterwards, but by this time it has already caused a bad influence.

In fact, the relationship between people is quite complicated. If you don't know the inside story, you can't trust the lies, so as not to provoke right and wrong.In real life, there is a kind of person who is good at adding fuel to the flames, making up other people's privacy in a vivid way, exaggerating and talking about everyone.I don't know how many tragedies in the world have arisen from this.Although you are not such a person, if you occasionally talk about other people's privacy, you may inadvertently plant seeds of disaster for others, and the adverse consequences are not what you can expect.

If someone tells you about someone's privacy, the only way you can do it is to listen to it like you keep your own secret, don't be a mouthpiece, and don't believe in such one-sided words, let alone keep it in your heart.If you talk about the benefits of being a bad person, most people will think you are ignorant.Call a good person bad, and people will think you have bad intentions.

If a friend can tell you his secrets, it means that the friendship between you must be better than others, otherwise he will not tell you all his secrets.If he hears his secret being publicly revealed through other people's lips, it goes without saying that he will think you have betrayed him.The betrayed friend will definitely scold you more than a thousand times in their hearts, and regret the friendship and trust they have paid in the past.Therefore, not casually divulging your friends’ privacy is the basic requirement for strengthening friendship. If you fail to do this well, no friend will dare to confide in you.

If you know your friend's privacy, it's best to erase it from your memory, or at least keep your mouth shut and keep it tight so that it doesn't leak out.Tearing open the scars of a friend's healing and revealing a friend's hidden secrets will only embarrass, unhappiness, pain and shame, and provide materials for the villain to slander, attack, and spread gossip.Don't publicize or threaten your friends' privacy everywhere, otherwise it will be a hooligan act and a villain's trick.At this stage, the shadow of friendship has disappeared, and there is only a contest of hostility.

It is very reasonable for friends to have privacy in their hearts. We must respect them and let them keep a secret sky.Curiosity is also inevitable, but we must know how to restrain it.Invading a friend's private world is dangerous to oneself and to others.

Therefore, if you want to have a long-lasting friendship with your friends, without hurting each other, and without causing trouble or loss to each other, you should learn the lessons of bracken and nameless flower-good friends should also keep a proper distance!

Don't turn yourself into a "blank slate"

One year, in a middle school, a very sensational incident occurred in the local area: a female student committed suicide by taking poison.She is a three-good student, excellent in character and learning, respects teachers, and unites with classmates.For her death, teachers, classmates and their parents are all puzzled.Finally, a suicide note was found in her homework, and the mystery of the girl's suicide was revealed.

Once, on the way home after evening self-study, a little hooligan jumped out from the darkness by the side of the road and hugged her, trying to do something wrong.She was safe because she yelled and fought hard to scare off the little rascals.She has a friend from the same class, the two are very close and talk about everything.Afterwards, she couldn't help but tell her friends about it.

Soon, they had a conflict.Her friends then spread the word about her encounter.As a result, there were gossip and gossip, and when this rumor was passed back to her own ears, it turned into a vicious slander that she had been raped by a hooligan.

How could an innocent, pure and innocent girl bear such humiliation, she decided to prove her innocence at the cost of her life, and wash away the shame imposed on her by others.

After hearing this story, we can't help expressing infinite sympathy for this young girl, and feeling extremely resentful towards that "friend" who tells tales.But from another point of view, the tragedy of this girl is that she is too simple and too rash.If she hadn't told her friend her secret, even if the two turned against each other, such rumors would not have happened, and of course a suicide tragedy would have been avoided.

At the cost of her young life, she left a precious revelation to people: Don't reveal your secrets to others easily.

Secret, it is easy for us to interpret it correctly, nothing more than meaning that it is not suitable for publicity.A personal secret is something that should only be known to the individual and should not be told to others.Otherwise, it cannot be called a personal secret.People who overdisclose their secrets to others often suffer greatly from it.

The ancient Roman philosopher and dramatist Seneca said: "It is as wrong to trust no one as to trust no one." Not trusting anyone is undoubtedly a prison, self-enclosed, and will never gain friendship and trust.But trusting anyone is childish and ignorant, good and bad are irrelevant, and you will suffer and be fooled in the end.Neither is sufficient.

Gracian, a famous Spanish thinker in the 17th century, once warned people: "If you see through others, you can dominate others. If you are seen through by others, you will be dominated by others, and victory will change hands. If you are good at seeing through others, you can order the overall situation. If you are good at hiding yourself, you don't have to Worry about falling into a trap." "If you want to be respected by others, don't let anyone know everything about you. Once you are seen through the limitations of your talents, it will be difficult for you to gain the admiration and respect of others. Be cautious about your reputation , fame is guaranteed."

You must know that secrets can only be enjoyed by yourself, and cannot be given as gifts. No matter how good a friend is, once your relationship breaks down, your secret will be known to everyone, and the person who will be hurt is not only you, but also those involved in the secret. everyone.When getting along with others, don't let people know all about your past, especially those personal secrets that you don't want others to know, you must keep it.It is not uncommon for tomorrow to become an enemy.You tell others the secrets of your past completely. Once the relationship breaks down, enemies become enemies or he doesn't regard you as a true friend at all, will he keep your secrets for you?
Perhaps, not only does he not keep the secrets for you, but he also uses the secrets he knows as an excuse to attack and threaten you, making you notorious and devastated.At that time, it was too late for you to regret.Even if he doesn't mean to hurt you, but knowing too much, unintentional harm is sometimes inevitable.

If you confess yourself like a piece of paper, you will not be respected by others, but you may be trampled on by others.Protecting your privacy means more than pleasant camaraderie, it means respect and not bringing your private sphere into your relationship with your friends.

(End of this chapter)