Fall in love with school, no longer tire of learning

Chapter 13 The disease and coping behind the weariness of learning (3)
(4) "Live on par with the lowest classmate" and "study on par with the highest classmate", when you are on par with the lowest classmate in life, you will feel at ease; When you are on par with the highest, most fulfilling people in your daily life, you will have the motivation to live.This is the reason why people's mentality will also change when the reference object of comparison changes.In the modern market economy society, the days are getting better and better, Lei Feng's words still have great significance.

(5) When comparing with those around you, patients with physical and mental illnesses should have a healthy attitude.The body itself is poor, and the patient can easily cause the deterioration of the condition.

Relief of Anger and Violence

A classmate, male, 17 years old, currently a sophomore in high school, has lost confidence in his studies, has a cynical attitude towards life and the future, likes to make bad friends, does not listen to any form of advice from teachers and parents, no matter what Go its own way, regardless of the consequences.Once I had a quarrel with my father and got into a fight...

Anger is an emotion that happens to everyone.Anger is what happens when people experience something intense, not in their favor, or unsatisfying.

Specific performance:

(1) Some people are prone to inappropriate anger, for example, they will get angry when they only encounter a little or slight inconsistency;
(2) As long as I think about what happened many years ago, I will get angry, angry, and even chatter for most of the day;
(3) Originally, I made a mistake, but as long as others pointed it out, I would get angry.

Consequences of anger:

1. Mental state

The reason for this situation may be a personality problem or a cognitive problem.However, regardless of the reason, a person often has prolonged and excessive anger, and even makes anger the emotional mainstream in life, which will have a bad impact on mental health.

2. Physical state

When in constant, prolonged anger, the contraction of the heart continues to accelerate and strengthen.People will feel rapid pulse and heartbeat, and the load on the heart and blood vessels will increase for a long time.When the compensatory ability of the person is not exceeded, the probability and risk of suffering from cardiovascular disease will increase; when the compensatory ability of the person is exceeded, cardiovascular disease will occur.

Especially when excessive excitement or sudden anger, that is, rage, the heart is overloaded, and acute myocardial infarction often occurs, or the cardiovascular condition suddenly deteriorates, and even crushed death occurs.

3. Interpersonal relationship
Excessive anger can also easily lead to behavioral impulses, such as beating and scolding others, deteriorating interpersonal relationships, and the phenomenon of "venting anger". After some people suffer setbacks, they vent their anger to someone who has nothing to do with the incident and is often weaker than themselves.In fact, instead of alleviating anger, the anger of the person who "exposes anger" will intensify; the person who has been "exposed" will counterattack the person who "exposed anger" when the opportunity is right, and further intensify the anger.

It would be better to do:

(1) Carefully analyze the reasons for each person's anger. In fact, most of them are caused by small and trivial things in life.Therefore, it is very important to learn to solve the small and trivial things in life.

(2) Take appropriate methods to vent anger reasonably, such as crying in a place where no one is around, pouring out your feelings to relatives and friends, taking walks, singing, etc. are also very important.

(3) They should also be good at dealing with interpersonal conflicts, and improve their personality and cognitive models.

Less anger is not only necessary for mental health, but also for increasing physical health.When you encounter problems in study and life, you should calm down and discuss them. Passivity, weariness, anger and violence are harmful to others and yourself.

Psychological avoidance: this matter has nothing to do with me

Xiao Li suffers from generalized anxiety disorder. He was already overly worried and upset, but hearing his parents quarreling from time to time made his condition worse, and he didn't want to go to school at all.He is a junior and has no way to interfere with his parents' affairs.Xiao Li told the psychiatrist about his troubles.

The psychiatrist told Xiao Li: "You will handle your own affairs, and their parents' affairs will be handled by themselves. I believe they will solve their own affairs. Let them argue. You just need to avoid it. Being a child is a big deal. You don’t have to worry so much.” From then on, whenever his parents quarreled, Xiao Li would go back to his room and do his own business, and he would not hear the quarrel between his parents, so he would not be so troubled.

As the saying goes, "out of sight, out of mind", it means that people can feel the things around them through their eyes, ears and other senses, which in turn affect their thoughts and emotions.In the environment, there are some things that the patient can handle; there are some things that the patient cannot handle.But when you encounter things that you cannot handle, such as when your parents are always arguing, you may wish to avoid them.This is not to escape, but to reduce the interference of some adverse influences from the outside world on the patient during the treatment and rehabilitation of psychological disorders.

But patients should know that the "avoidance method" is not a panacea, and they should not avoid everything when they encounter difficulties. For example, the disease has been relieved, and when they encounter difficulties in study and work, patients want to avoid going home and refuse to go to school, which is wrong.

Turn your eyes: look at the problem from another angle
At the end of the final exam, the teacher was not very satisfied with Wang's assessment results.Mr. Wang himself suffers from depression, but he is still a strong person. He feels very useless because of the test results, and he doesn't like to talk for a long time.Although she continued to take medication, the effect of the medication seemed to have lost its effect on her, and her condition worsened.When the psychiatrist understood her recent distress, he helped her patiently and encouraged her to adopt the "sight-changing method".

Student Wang finally realized: Although I did not pass the exam this time, after careful analysis, I did not pass the English exam well, and other subjects were okay. This exam is just a reminder to me to work harder in English in the future...

The aversion method tells us that in our lives, many things appear to be serious problems from this side; looking at them from another angle, it may be a good thing.Learn to look at problems from multiple angles and comprehensively in everything, which will make the patient's mind clear and happy.When you encounter difficulties and feel depressed, you might as well learn from Wang, change your perspective, and look at the problem from many aspects, and you may feel better in your heart.

Self-comfort: I am fine now

Xiao Li is a middle school student and has depression.The thing is like this, a classmate of Xiao Li’s family is good, he always buys this and that, while eating snacks, he brags to Xiao Li: “I don’t need to study hard, the family has enough money, my father sold one or two cars A car is enough for me for the rest of my life!" Xiao Li knew that his family's financial situation was not good, not only did he have no pocket money, but he also had no car to sell.In contrast, I am envious of the other party economically, but also feel very inferior in my heart, which adds to my depression.

Xiao Li was very straightforward. When he went to see a doctor, he shared his troubles with a psychologist. The psychologist first advised Xiao Li's parents: "You can't just satisfy the student's pocket money just because he has such thoughts, because it is a bottomless pit." Xiao Li took self-comfort.Xiao Li understands this truth: "If you follow that student, you will not save money when you have money in hand, and you will brag about yourself, and you will indulge your bad habit of spending money indiscriminately. Not to mention delaying your studies, you will be useless when you grow up. I don’t have pocket money to buy this and that, and I don’t have bad habits, it’s better to have no pocket money.” Thinking of this, Xiao Li felt more balanced.

Sometimes, like Xiao Li, you can calmly think about it, what is the disadvantage when you have money but can't control it; what good is it if you don't have money for a while.With such an analysis, I actually comforted myself and stopped worrying.Many patients with depression encounter things that they cannot do, achieve, or change for a while, so they might as well learn from the smart Xiao Li.

However, patients can’t comfort themselves when they encounter problems without analysis. If things are really positive, they should work hard to do what they can do through hard work.Some patients are not seriously ill, and they always emphasize that they are ill, instead of studying or working hard; they blindly comfort themselves: "Study and work performance is poor, but it saves energy and makes them easy." It is the wrong application of "masturbation method". "Are.

Humor: Learning from the Masters

Classmate Zhao suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. When sitting in the classroom, he can't help thinking about miscellaneous things and is very depressed.While he was being treated, under the inspiration of the doctor, he used the "humor method" to alleviate his distress.When he was lying in bed at night, he thought: "Don't always be downcast when encountering difficulties, think about something happy! Yes, think about the movie that I saw Chaplin before. The hero in the movie saw something like a screw nut. Just use a wrench to screw the same thing, screw the screws on the assembly line, and screw the buttons of the ladies’ coats after get off work.” When Mr. Zhao thought of the serious and humorous performance of the humorist, he couldn’t help laughing, and his mood improved. got better.

As the saying goes: "Smile, you will be young in ten years." When you encounter something that is not going your way, be humorous and smile, and your mood may improve a lot.Sometimes humor is also a way to overcome difficulties. The ancient story "Yan Zi Envoys Chu" is an example of applying the "humor method" to overcome difficulties.It is said that during the Warring States Period, Yan Zi was sent as an envoy to Chu State on behalf of Qi State. In order to insult the envoy of Qi State, the King of Chu made it difficult for Yan Zi. .At this time, Yanzi can use the following methods when he sees this situation:
(1) He returned home in a rage, and did not go to Chu to negotiate;
(2) Go to complain to the king of Qi, and return home to mobilize the army to attack Chu;

(3) Use his own way to counter him, standing at the gate of the city and cursing the king of Chu as a dog.

But these methods are not good. If you go back to the country in anger, if you don’t go to Chu, you will not complete the task and you will not be able to pay the account; when you return to send troops to attack Chu, it will waste the people’s money, and the water will not quench your thirst; standing at the gate of the city and cursing the king of Chu is too dangerous Lost the identity of the messenger.Yanzi only used a "humorous" method to defeat King Chu.If you want to know the details, just read the story itself.

"Humor" is the lubricant of life and the resilience to overcome complex problems wittily. It is the process of analyzing and solving people's bad emotions and psychological problems comically, enabling people to overcome learning difficulties with laughter.Patients and families learn to apply this great method.

Low key: I'm just an ordinary person
Classmate Wang suffers from panic disorder, and the illness for several years made her very painful.When she saw that her former classmates and children were happy, she looked back at herself sickly, thinking that she was inferior to others in everything, and felt very useless.After patient enlightenment by a psychiatrist, she finally realized: "In this world, everyone has their own joys and pains, and everyone has their own hard-to-recite sutras, but no one told you. I am an ordinary person. Naturally, she will also suffer from psychological disorders, so just work hard to treat it.” Thinking of this, she felt better, and she was no longer discouraged, but accelerated the pace of treatment for anxiety disorders, and strived to go to school happily every day.

There is a lyric that sings: "Without the fragrance of flowers, without the height of trees, I am an unknown grass." handicap or physical illness.If you are pessimistic when you have a psychological barrier, not only will it not help, but it will also aggravate the condition. You have to work hard to fight the disease. This is the "low-key method". The "low-key method" is not inferiority, let alone self-defeating. It is wrong to regard the "low-key method" as inferiority and live with peace of mind.Inferiority and self-abandonment are self-denial, thinking that one is incapable of overcoming difficulties; the "low-key method" is to admit the reality, not to be too high or too perfect, to adjust the mentality on this basis, and to overcome the disease.

Catharsis: Who am I afraid of when I cry and laugh?

Xiao Li has an introverted personality, and he doesn't want to say anything, and keeps it to himself when he is unhappy.Once a few good friends saw that he was always frowning, so they persuaded him to tell the unpleasant things.Xiao Li, who held back for a long time, finally said: "I always can't think about it, and I am afraid that I will not have a good life in the future." For a while, he cried and said.Several good friends persuaded him patiently for a while.After talking and persuading everyone, Xiao Li vented his unhappiness again, and felt much happier.

As the saying goes, "after the heavy rain, there is a clear sky".When you feel unhappy, you can find a place to let it out, crying and laughing; you can also talk about your thoughts with a few friends, and you will feel much happier.This is the "catharsis method".

Patients who are good at using moderate catharsis can often treat psychological disorders more smoothly; patients who are not good at using moderate catharsis often cannot get smooth treatment when they suffer from psychological disorders. This is actually the so-called "alexythymia".According to the "General Psychiatry Literature" report, talk therapy has positive effects in the treatment of depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc., and patients should actively participate.

However, when using the "catharsis method", we must also pay attention to moderation, timing, and the target of catharsis.Be careful not to vent excessively and cry regardless of the occasion, so as not to hurt the body and cause adverse effects; and don't hurt others. It is inappropriate to vent your anger on your good friends, spouse, and parents; It’s not good for Mrs. Wan to tell others about her unhappiness. They will get bored and become the “Xianglin Sister” described by Lu Xun who is ignored. You will be rejected by others, and you will also hurt your own heart.

Compensation: While God closes a door

Since Xiao Zhou suffered from depression, he always felt that he had lost something and was depressed all day long.According to the doctor's instructions, Mr. Zhou arranged his daily life very tightly and increased his daily physical exercise.In this way, not only his life became more meaningful, but his body also became better.

Xiao Zhou finally realized that "suffering from depression is really not a good thing. But I increased my daily physical exercise, and my body and mood became better."This experience made Mr. Zhou feel much happier and increased his confidence in overcoming depression.

As the saying goes, "The loss inside the dike is made up for outside the dike", which means: "The loss at this time can be compensated at another time." There is a famous saying: "God is fair. When he closes a door, he also opens it." Another window."

Every friend believes that suffering from depression will lose a lot, but when you add activities that you are interested in, such as physical exercise, singing and dancing, to make up for the lost pleasure, you are using the "compensation method" to adjust your mentality.

When a person thinks of getting better compensation for what he has lost, he will feel comfortable. This is the principle of "compensation method" to mediate mentality, and patients and family members can apply it appropriately.

Sublimation: Be a person who is out of vulgar taste

Yu has been suffering from depression for a long time and is trapped in a psychological crisis. He always thinks that he cannot get rid of the torment of the psychological disorder, feels unhappy, and seems to be three points short when seeing friends and acquaintances.

The psychiatrist communicated with her and asked her to talk about "what I do and when I feel better in my heart".After some consideration, Yu said, "When you put all your energy into work, study or chatting with friends, you can feel relieved and feel better in your heart."

So, the psychologist encouraged her to do more work, read more good books, and chat with friends more.In this way, Yu participated in more social activities, felt that he could still do useful work and make more contributions to the society, and gradually became happier.

As the saying goes: "Turning anger into striving" or "turning pressure into motivation" means that when you are frustrated, you can do something meaningful to sublimate your mentality, so as to overcome diseases, setbacks and pains. "Sublimation Law".When Russia's Ostrovsky was physically and mentally injured and became a disabled person who could not see or move, he turned his energy to writing the novel "How the Steel Was Tempered".When the novel was welcomed by the readers, Ostrovsky also forgot the pain and sublimated his mind.

Mao Zedong wrote in "Remembrance of Bethune": "A person's ability may be great or small, but as long as he has this spirit, he is a noble person, a pure person, a moral person, a person who is free from vulgar interests, and a People who benefit the people." Therefore, we should not be too small-minded and delay our future by some frivolous things.

(End of this chapter)