deep in time

Chapter 26 (3)
Dang Guoguo lowered his eyes, and the evaluation of "the teacher is gentle and beautiful" suddenly evolved into "I really hate that I want to tear that smiling face."

"Teacher, doesn't her mother want her?" asked innocently.

"Hey, don't say that." The teacher smiled and patted Guoguo's head, "Everyone should help Guoguo more in the future, you know?"

What I got was a tidy answer: "Okay——"

Even though everyone doesn't understand why Guoguo's mother doesn't want her anymore, it doesn't hinder everyone's determination to listen to the teacher's words, so on the first, second, and third day, Guoguo's desk sometimes has an extra A bright red apple, sometimes a stationery box, a brand new homework book and a few pencils.

One day, Guoguo’s deskmate, a girl with small eyes and a few small freckles on her nose, brought a nearly new skirt to school and said to Guoguo seriously: “I told my mother about you. , she said you are a poor child. Guoguo, didn't you say you liked my dress last time? Give it to you. "

The little girl's eyes glowed with a noble brilliance because she helped others.

Dang Guoguo looked at the beautiful lace skirt and smiled sweetly: "You are so kind, thank you and your mother."

Back to the orphanage after school that afternoon, Guoguo cried and shredded the skirt with scissors. She looked at the broken lace scattered on the floor with contempt, her face was frighteningly cold.

—I am not pitiful!I don't need handouts!You help me just to prove that you are happier than me, possess more than me, and be nobler than me. I don't want to be such a reference, never in my life!
Therefore, for Dang Guoguo, the sentence that broke her down the most when she was in school was——

This is for you.

[seven]
The Sun Welfare Institute has a history of 12 years.

In this remote suburb of the city, the dilapidated buses that take them every day are unwilling to drive to the door, and they always leave the children returning from school to the orphanage on the long road.

There is still a long way to go to the orphanage.

In the hot summer, the sun is a bit harsh, and this small dirt road is full of dust, which is so choking that people can't open their eyes.

If it's raining, you have to hold an umbrella to shelter from the rain while walking carefully on the muddy road. When you step down, there will be a muddy water hole, and the mud will be poured into the shoes at once.

Seven-year-old Guoguo and seven-year-old Yuanyuan walked this section of the road holding hands.

Guoguo is very beautiful, with long red phoenix eyes and a beauty mole under the right eye. Although her nose is not straight enough, her mouth is not curved enough, and her face is slightly round, she is still a pretty girl.

In comparison, Yuanyuan looks much ordinary, but she has a pair of clear and lively eyes, most of the time she doesn't smile, but when she smiles, it's as bright as the dark clouds in the sky are being pushed away in an instant.

It was a cloudy and cold day, and the two children walked toward the orphanage tremblingly, talking while walking.

"Yuanyuan, do you think we will stay in the orphanage for the rest of our lives?"

"No. Someone will come and take us soon."

"You say that every time." Guoguo pouted and counted on her fingers, "I am seven years old this year, and you are also seven years old. I heard from the dean that after the age of eight, almost no one is willing to adopt us. What's more, this orphanage is so remote, it's rare to see a few parents who want to adopt children all year round."

"Yeah." Yuanyuan looked at the sky and sighed melancholy.

Guoguo also sighed.Neither of them spoke again.

After walking in silence for a while, the gate of the orphanage gradually appeared in sight.

Guoguo stopped suddenly, was stunned for a long time, and then said: "Today I saw the mother at the same table came to pick her up, and the two of them were still holding hands. Yuanyuan, tell me, what is it like to be walked by your mother's hand?" How do you feel?"

It was from that day——

I hate the look of my deskmate happily yelling "Go home" after school.

I hate talking about "the family went to the park on Sunday" and "look, these are the new shoes my mom bought me" in front of me.

Those unintentional words, those natural expressions and movements, all turned into sharp thorns, nailing to death the beating heart that was still beating just a moment ago!

[Eight]
There are many bad habits.

For example, when I see snacks in the supermarket, I can't control my desire to buy them all.

Even after many years, I often feel very hungry. Although I am full, I still desperately want to eat more full. I am driven by a strange idea of ​​​​"I don't know where the next meal is". Don't worry until you fill your throat with food.

The lingering memories that are engraved in my mind.

Compared with other people who say "I have to wash twenty children's clothes today", "Hands are red from the cold when I wipe the glass in winter", "I was bitten by a poisonous snake, my head is as heavy as rusty iron, and I still feel the wound is very painful after being discharged from the hospital". What seems to be a serious matter, but what makes her unbearable is——

"You did something wrong, so you don't have any fruit this week", "You're fined for skipping breakfast and dinner for two days", "You've never been full".

So, until now, she has had a lot of pocket money and can eat enough at any time, but the fear of "empty stomach" has been hiding in her subconscious mind, and she would jump out from time to time and stab her hard .

[Nine]
The last time I was with Yuanyuan was a long, long time ago.

It was a Friday, but none of the children in the orphanage went to school. Everyone sat in a circle in a small room, taking turns to perform in the middle, or sing, dance, or tell stories.

When Guoguo came out of the toilet and walked gently through the corridor, she stopped vigilantly.

Through the window, I heard the dean talking with a pair of parents who were no longer young and came to adopt their children.

"What kind of child do Mr. Liu and Mrs. Liu want, boy or girl?"

"Boys and girls are fine, but I'm sorry, our husband and wife don't want to adopt children with physical disabilities." The honest and magnetic male voice was silent for a while, and then said, "It is difficult for my wife and I to have children. I had artificial insemination, and there was a girl who was born with a bad heart and passed away at the age of five, which made my wife very sad and couldn’t keep her spirits up.”

And a gentle female voice said: "We want a healthy baby."

Guoguo, who was lying under the window and eavesdropping, was beating her heart. She bit her lip and heard Mrs. Liu melancholy mentioning that her first child was very smart, loved to wear white clothes, and called her mother very loudly. Sweet, always tilts her head when she smiles, and can sing "Dandelion"... This is a mother who is immersed in the pain of losing her child and cannot get out.

Guoguo's hands tightened involuntarily. Today, in order to make herself look more energetic, she put on the only brightly colored T-shirt. Almost instantly, the seven-year-old girl made a decision. He hurried back to the dormitory, put on Yuanyuan's white shirt, and quickly ran back to the classroom surrounded by many children, but he didn't immediately open the door to enter, but stood at the door and pressed his chest, waiting for his breathing to calm down, Only then showed a sweet smile.

However, a sound as crisp as golden autumn leaves suddenly came from the room.

Yuanyuan stood in the middle of the circle where the children were sitting, tilted her head, and sang "Dandelion".

"Little dandelion, where are you going to fly...

Wind, blow, blow,

White dandelions, fly, fly,
Where is your home..."

The door opened a crack, and the elegant Mrs. Liu was looking at Yuanyuan intently, her eyes seemed to have water.

Guoguo's nails dug into her palm, but she didn't feel any pain.

Yuanyuan sings so beautifully. When two good friends are together, they think about what it is like to be a mother and what it is like to be homesick. When they are sad or hungry, they will sing this song "Dandelion".However, at this time, Yuanyuan's devoted expression and the sweet smile on her lips were so dazzling.

What if the couple chose Yuanyuan?
Yuanyuan is my good friend, Yuanyuan has a family, it's like having a family herself - such self-deception, even I don't believe it.

Guoguo seemed to have made up her mind, with a sweet smile on her face again, and then walked to the middle of the circle step by step, took Yuanyuan's hand, smiled with her head tilted, and sang softly with Yuanyuan .

"Little Dandelion, your home is here...

The sky is your home, the earth is your home.

White dandelion, you travel with dreams..."

Wearing a white shirt, her eyes are big and round, and her smile is as fresh as a gardenia.

After singing, before Mrs. Liu came over, Guoguo dragged Yuanyuan's hand to the small chair, carefully let Yuanyuan sit down, then ran to the big desk, filled a glass with water and came back Pass it to Yuanyuan.

"Yuanyuan, you are tired, drink some water first to catch your breath."

Mrs. Liu stood beside her, frowned imperceptibly: "I only sang one song, how could you be tired?"

Before Yuanyuan could answer, Guoguo raised her face and said obediently, "Auntie, the weather has been bad recently and Yuanyuan often catches a cold. I'm her good friend, so I must take good care of her."

"Good boy." Mrs. Liu stretched out her hand and patted Guoguo's head.

Guoguo smiled, leaned obediently beside Mrs. Liu, looked at the girl who was sitting in a small chair and looked up at her in a daze, and said softly, "Yuanyuan, you can't drink the water when it's cold." Her The hand inadvertently caressed the place that had been bitten by the poisonous snake before.

Yuanyuan followed her movements, saw the wound that had become an invisible tooth mark, and silently took the water glass.

"...Do you often catch a cold?" Mrs. Liu knelt down and asked Yuanyuan with concern.

Yuanyuan lowered her eyes and gave a soft "hmm".

Mrs. Liu hesitated for a moment, probably thinking of the tears she shed for the child who died of poor health, her heart trembled, and she finally concluded with "Yuanyuan is a good child, but—"

——I really want to say loudly: "Guoguo lied! My health is fine!"

——I really want to hug this kind and elegant woman in front of me, and bury my face in her chest: "My imagined mother is just like you."

A person sat there quietly, his body was stiff, and the smile on his face was as stiff as a line that could not be folded.

A drop of tear fell into the glass of water, causing a little ripple, and then disappeared quickly.

——I'm sorry, other people's happiness is like a flower in water, you can see it, but you can't touch it.If I can't touch it with my own hands, I will never believe that it is happiness.

If I'm selfish, it's because I crave love too much.

(End of this chapter)