Calm women are the most elegant

Chapter 12 You are troubled, not because the outside world is too noisy, but because you are not calm enough inside (3)
[-]. The pampered young lady has a temper and gets angry at every turn
He opened his mouth when he came for food, and stretched out his hands when he came for clothes. He grew up in a superior environment since he was a child.Faced with a little bit of dissatisfaction, he lost his temper, hoping to get the man's care, but he never expected that what he waited for was his departure.It is impossible for a man to be ordered by you all the time, because of your lady's temper, he can't stand it.Although women are rich, but in the process of waiting for love, they also slowly become phoenix girls.

[-]. My own conditions are not good, and I still pick and choose

Dreaming of Cinderella turning into Snow White, I hope to find a man who can take care of me for the rest of my life, who is rich and powerful, loves me, and looks very handsome.But when I find someone who suits me, I still hope to find someone better, and I feel that I am so superior, it is definitely possible.She never considered her own conditions, and slowly became a leftover woman because she disliked others.

[-]. Focus on reading sage books and forget about love

Studying in the book, studying one theory after another, took one diploma after another.Age is also slowly getting old.What is love?It never appeared in their minds, because they regard books as more important than their lives. Facing men's pursuit, they take a suspicious look and continue to bury their heads in books.With a high degree and an old age, she has become an out-and-out leftover woman.

How to solve the troubles of leftover women?Very simple, divided into two situations, "active surplus" and "passive surplus". Women who are "actively left" are not eager to get married. Their troubles are due to the urging of their family members and the pressure of the society.For these "leftover women", the way to get rid of the wounds of leftover women is to be more open-minded.

Active leftover women don't need to feel left over psychologically. The so-called "leftover" is just a relative concept, and it is purely a sense of pressure imposed on you by the outside world.What is "left over"?Of course there is no standard, its existence is just that people use the secular "best marriage age" standard to measure individuals.If you are young in mind, you will always be young, and there will be no so-called "leftover" problem.Besides, a woman can live a wonderful life without a man. Marriage has the trouble of getting married, and being single for a lifetime is not a way of life. You have to believe that your persistence will definitely be recognized and blessed by everyone.

If you are a passive leftover woman and really want to get married, but you just can't find a suitable person, then you should think about the reason.Despise it strategically and pay full attention to it tactically.There are a few areas where you need to improve:
[-]. Define your own standards for a good husband
Many people seem to be looking for a husband not for themselves but for others, which sounds strange.Of course, you don't think so, and you don't feel this way, but sometimes you fall into this misunderstanding unconsciously.People have a herd mentality and a mentality of following the crowd. Most of the leftover women are independent people, but in fact, it is still difficult to get rid of external influences in the subconscious. For example, when I saw a boy, I thought he was pretty good, but after seeing Husbands who are not as tall as friends or colleagues, or who have heard other people say something against them, change their minds.

Women should have their own opinions and their own unique standards for a good husband, instead of looking for a good husband from the public.What you are satisfied with is the best, regardless of how other people evaluate it (of course, you can also refer to other people's opinions appropriately), because the best is what suits you.

[-]. May wish to have a little self-forgetfulness

How do you say that?Leftover women are more likely to care about other people's views and opinions as they go to the back, and naturally they care more about themselves. In fact, sometimes you might as well forget some things, such as appearance and education, such as talent and wealth.In real life, the rest are either in poor conditions or in too good conditions.The conditions are too bad, so no one is interested in it; the conditions are too good, so no one dares to look at it.Based on this, you might as well learn to temporarily forget some things about yourself, and look for love with the spirituality in your heart.

[-]. Avoid going to two extremes: too realistic and too romantic
The reason why the leftover women are left is also a reason to be found from a spiritual perspective.Some women are too realistic, they worship materialism, they don’t marry unless they are rich, they don’t marry unless they have a house and a car, and they don’t marry unless they have a background in their family...Obviously, such realistic and snobbish things won’t be there waiting for you, If you look at others, others may not necessarily look at you, and it is not appropriate for marriage to pay too much attention to these things.

The other extreme is too illusory, too far away from reality, blindly emphasizing the so-called petty bourgeois sentiment and romantic complex, reading too many Qiong Yao-style novels and immersing in romantic fantasies all day long, always hoping that my boyfriend must be that kind of Prince Charming Or a hero who saves the beauty, but once he returns to reality, he finds that the men around him seem to be too ordinary or not heroic.Obviously, these two extremes of thinking and positioning will seriously hinder your emotional path and make you miss many opportunities.

Fourth, it is not necessary to lower the requirements, but it is necessary to adjust the mentality

Many people will say that even if they stay, they will not lower their requirements and standards for choosing a spouse, and think that it is because they cannot find a boy who meets their requirements, so they would rather stay.This is understandable, and there is no need to lower the requirements. Lowering the requirements is meaningless, and it seems to give people a feeling of cheap selling.But if you decide to live a life of two people, you must adjust your mentality as soon as possible and take the initiative in your own hands. Don’t wait until the boss is getting older, becoming more and more passive, and you don’t want to be single for the rest of your life, so you just find someone to settle down married.I originally wanted to pick a big watermelon, but I always looked down on medium-sized watermelons. When I reached the end of the melon field, I had no choice but to pick a small watermelon or even go home empty-handed. Why bother?

6.Don't compare, life is full of disappointments

On the Internet today, I accidentally saw a photo of a girlfriend's remarriage and wedding dress that I hadn't contacted for a long time.Just took a picture, so beautiful, so beautiful!Especially the few photos with her husband next to the BMW by the sea!Envious!Immediately, I felt that the wedding photos I took a few years ago were a little pale compared with theirs!Unbelievably sad for a long time.Later, I used Ah Q's spirit to relieve my anger and thought, theirs must be computer-generated.Think about how naive I am, and regret that I have not practiced enough.

So I looked through all my photos over the past few years again, thinking that I would definitely find better photos than them!After reading thousands of life records in the computer, I was also moved!The previously boring jealousy gradually melted away, and I laughed, danced, and mischievously followed the people in my photos!We live so enthusiastically and happily, we live so casually and happily!If I have such a heart, such a love, and such a family, why should I be sad!What else do you compare with others?I'm really ashamed of my involuntary comparisons before.

It suddenly occurred to me that many women around me, including mothers, like to compare and complain, complaining that others are living better than them, and that others are blessed but they are not!Seeing someone getting married, the car is like a dragon, the flowers are like a sea, majestic, dignified and magnificent.Thinking about how many catties of fruit and sugar I had in those days, and consummating the room with my man in a daze, I felt so wronged.Seeing that her husband has made progress in the evening, promoted in the morning, today's big restaurant, tomorrow's big restaurant, but my own house is always in place, nestled at home like a hibernating bear, and I feel sour when I think about it.Seeing his son becoming a dragon and his daughter becoming a phoenix, while my own boy is stubborn and hopeless, I feel resentful and jealous in my heart!

Make "comparing with others" a habit, and you will turn yourself into a devil!It will gradually hurt the people who love you!
The 26-year-old Xuanxuan has delicate features and is definitely a beautiful woman.Whenever she sees those ordinary-looking colleagues, she will compare herself with them, which creates a feeling of pride and pride, but it also makes her colleagues often "stay away" from her.However, when Xuanxuan moved to a big company, she found that the female colleagues there were not only beautiful but also good at dressing up.The most important thing is that they have a car to pick them up and go to and from get off work.

Xuanxuan felt that she was not as beautiful as them, and her husband was not as rich as them, so she couldn't help lamenting that the sky has no eyes and the sky is unfair!Severe sadness made Xuanxuan come to the company depressed every day, and get along with colleagues with an angry expression.When she got home, Xuanxuan often quarreled with her husband.Sometimes, Xuanxuan also feels that she is very happy, but as long as she compares herself with others, she feels extremely painful.

It is born from the heart, and the side effects of extremely bad mentality will be directly reflected on the woman's face.After two months of suffering, Xuanxuan's complexion became ugly, and the wrinkles around her eyes became more obvious.But Xuanxuan's husband soon fell in love with someone else and formally filed for divorce from her.

In fact, men leave not because women are no longer beautiful, but because women are too vain.Men feel that their wives are not becoming more and more noble, but more and more vulgar.

Knowing that "people compare people, people are pissed off", many women often regard comparison as "fun": comparing background, skin color, bust size, return rate, alma mater, position, income, sitting at a fashion conference No. of rank... A life that is obviously good, but it is hard to compare it to a woman.Comparing to the past, comparing the never-ending troubles.Serious comparison psychology makes women's ordinary life difficult, and they are under the shadow of not being as happy as others all day long.The result of comparison can only be mixed with grief and indignation, and jealousy will arise in the heart after "losing" in the comparison.What's even more frightening is that women's jealousy is often not the so-called "white jealousy" that inspires people, but the ugly and vicious "black jealousy" that "I'll call you better".The saddest or funny thing is that if a man cheats, many women will not complain the most to the selfish and irresponsible man, but the mostly innocent woman who will kill her with disheveled hair and gnashing her teeth.So we will see many farce and scandals in which the original partner beat up the mistress violently on the street.

The psychology of comparison will reduce the charm of women and pollute women's hearts.A woman with a noble temperament will definitely not be a woman who likes to compare with others.

But the difference in life is everywhere, and the heart of comparison is so hard to overcome, women, what should we do?

[-]. Acknowledging the diversity of nature

In fact, there are no two identical leaves in the world. Everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages. According to the difference between innate and acquired, everyone's ability is of course different.The benevolent sees benevolence, the wise sees wisdom, from different angles, people have different views on the same thing.Everyone chooses a different life path, and the angle of happiness will also be different.Women must understand that you have unparalleled charm and unparalleled happiness.When you are envious of others and envious of others, maybe someone is also envious of you!

[-]. Learn to find balance in comparison

Even if you compare, don't always compare your shortcomings with the advantages of others, and don't compare your misfortunes with the happiness of others.Don't pick your own weaknesses and disadvantages to compare with others' strengths and advantages, and compare yourself to nothing. How tiring is that?You should lower your eyes a little, learn to look down, and compare yourself more, and your life will be more joyful and satisfied.I remember reading a blog post saying that everyone is an apple that God took a bite out of. Those who have more flaws have a larger bite from God, which also shows that God favors him a little more, so God is fair .

[-]. Believe that there is no perfection

You have to believe that there is nothing perfect in the world.Take marriage as an example. Women’s marriages are either lacking in money, love, health, or harmony... In short, there are shortcomings. You envy others because you only see the brilliance on the surface, but the inner spots you can't see.you are not a fish, how to know the joy of fish?vice versa.

It is their ability to be rich, and the key is to be yourself.If you don't cherish the present woman, you will lose everything in the end.Including the little charm you once had, it will also disappear with the passage of time.

Women, please abandon those thoughts of comparison!Untie your heart, and don't let it suffer from unattainable jealousy.Don't compare yourself to anyone, just be your best self!

7.Go to your high school, live my down-to-earth air
Whether you are an official or a celebrity, the down-to-earth ones are more popular than the tall ones, after all, the masses have a solid foundation.

The same goes for being a woman.The domineering "Queen", the little lolita who doesn't stick to daily necessities, the nagging literary and artistic young women, and the delicate sister Lin, will not be popular no matter whether they are in the workplace or living at home.

I have known the editor-in-chief of a magazine for several years, and I have never seen her wear trousers and a skirt every day. It looks casual, but it is obviously carefully matched. Brooches, bracelets, and silk scarves are all extremely delicate.She is busy with work, but she never has a sad face, no matter how nervous she is, she always smiles, and inadvertently exudes a delicate and melancholy fragrance.She is kind and easy-going, and everyone is willing to get close to her, even the most intimate emotional problems will be told to her.During the topic selection meeting, she often took the lead to digress. From the topic selection, a certain shopping mall was on sale, and a certain brand had a new model, which drove the editorial staff to respond positively, and often inspired.Talk to her about work, but she often gives you life inspiration besides solving work problems, makes you calm, teaches you to work hard, and feels the beauty and hope of life.Such a female editor-in-chief was greatly admired by women of all sizes in the magazine. Everyone was vying to be friends with her, willing to work overtime for her, and never complained.Such a large magazine is flourishing under her leadership, and she is very satisfied with her work and life.

(End of this chapter)