Calm women are the most elegant

Chapter 19 You think the world is cold, it's not because others bully you, it's because you are not considerate enough (3)
6.Don't take career too seriously, let yourself relax
On that April day four years ago, Yu Juan, a young teacher at Fudan University who moved thousands of people with her "Cancer Diary", quietly left.In her diary, she once shouted such words as "overtime work, high salary, buying a car, and buying a house are all floating clouds, and living is the kingly way."Afterwards, "This Life Is Unfinished", which was published as a collection of her "Anti-Cancer Diaries", left the world with a modern version of "Awakening Words".Almost at the same time, Pan Jie, a 25-year-old beauty master from PricewaterhouseCoopers, died suddenly.This is suspected of death from overwork, which once again stimulated people's sensitive nerves.Everyone called for a re-examination of life, emphasizing that living is more important than living.However, the tragedy did not stop. Next, Ai Weiwei, the deputy general manager of Julong Film and Television Media and a 22-year-old beautiful model, died suddenly due to overwork...

When young and beautiful women die from overwork, and when families fall into the abyss of grief because of the loss of young lives, we have to face the cruel reality: many people are still working day after day. Overdrawing your life during work or overtime, you are still drifting away from the road of "spending the first half of your life to earn money for health, and the second half to earn money for health", and you don't even realize it... "Death from overwork" - this is so cold. Words that people can't face up to, suddenly lie in people's hearts.And women are the most worrying and important group among them. Women staying up late is tantamount to slow suicide.

Although the truth that "health is 1, career, wealth, fame and fortune are all followed by 0" has long been recognized, in reality, many women are still working hard. Some women said on Weibo: "I only want career! Career! Work Work!" Obviously, in most cases, it is not forced by the boss, but your initiative.People have been educated since childhood to encourage people to surpass others, pursue success, and chase wealth, but they did not teach people how to cherish their bodies.In our culture, working hard and "not going to the line of fire" have always been praised virtues.Of course, the most fundamental reason comes from people’s sense of panic: housing, prices, seeing a doctor, children going to school... A series of problems make people anxious, so many women unconsciously regard endless overtime as the inevitable way to happiness way.

Women who are immersed in it should wake up. You might as well read Yu Juan's "Life Diary". How about a big house, and being with the person you love, living in a small house is also warm.” A woman’s happiness and success do not lie in the so-called career to a large extent, but in the family.This is true whether you admit it or not.Just imagine, what kind of woman can be more successful and happier than a woman who manages her family in an orderly, warm and harmonious way, healthy and happy?A workaholic woman not only loses family responsibilities, more importantly, if you are exhausted, it will be a disaster for the whole family!

In addition, women's status is not maintained solely by their careers.A simple fact: the advancement of women's status in human history is not due to the success of women's own careers, but precisely the progress of material civilization has brought about a new round of changes. For example, the appearance of washing machines and dishwashers is the result of technology. The progress of the Chinese Communist Party liberated women and let women out of the family. This is how women later "lead the way" and "women do not give way to men" in all walks of life.Similarly, women's status in the family does not depend on their careers, and "strong women" often pay a huge price in family and family relationships.A harmonious society depends on a harmonious family, and a harmonious family largely depends on the hostess. Therefore, the happiness of society and the family are often closely related to women. What a great mission this is for us female compatriots !
Women, think about it, re-examine your life, throw away overtime, high salary, mortgage, etc., and give special love to your special self.

In daily life, the simplest and must pay attention to, there are the following simple items:

[-]. Try not to get angry
If you want to be healthy, your mood is very important. It is best not to get angry, because all diseases come from anger, and you have to learn to let go of unhappy things.Participate in social welfare activities and maintain a good mood.

Two, stay up late
Frequent staying up late will lead to lack of energy and will also reduce the body's immunity.If you really have work to do, the time to fall asleep should not be later than eleven o'clock.

[-]. Eat less sweets

Women who often eat sweets can easily lead to the occurrence of breast cancer, and the probability of suffering from gallstones will also increase.

[-]. Drink less coffee

White-collar women generally like to drink coffee, but coffee will increase the estrogen in the body. Once the estrogen level is too high, the risk of breast cancer and endometrial cancer will be greatly increased, and it will aggravate endometriosis and breast pain.

Of course, there are still many things that women need to pay attention to to maintain their health. It is important that all female friends pay attention.

7.In the face of pain, be a strong and peaceful woman

In the face of pain, be a strong and quiet woman.

This is the philosophy of life I summed up after overcoming dysmenorrhea.

Many women experience dysmenorrhea.I have it too.And it is very serious, and the pain needs to be injected with painkillers.

Later, my friend told me that taking painkillers and taking painkiller injections all the time would damage my kidneys, so I decided to quit relying on painkiller injections.

Once when my aunt visited, I rolled and cried in pain. The roommates I live with now don’t sympathize with me as much as my former roommates. She was indifferent and just said lightly: “Pain is just a feeling. , Just accept it."

At that time, I really wanted to slap her, because I felt that she was cold and heartless, without any sympathy.Those roommates used to be so scared that they stayed with me by the bed, bought me food and medicine, and were as anxious as my mother, but this guy ignored my pain.

But after a few minutes, her words started to work on me.

My thoughts began to change, and I thought: screaming is also painful, and not screaming is also painful, so let me try not screaming.

So I gave up struggling, endured the pain, let the tears swirl in my eyes, and lay there like a dead person.Miraculously, the pain really subsided.Yes, pain is also a feeling, just like happiness, it is just a physical reaction.

Gradually, dysmenorrhea became acceptable.

Since then, I have been off pain medication.

Although it was a long time ago.But when I think about it again, I feel that the shock in my heart is stronger than before, and it is even enough to move me for the rest of my life.

I remember a passage in the novel "Spirit Mountain": "Through the great joy, great sorrow, and thrilling things in the world, don't hurt yourself, don't be ashamed, don't be ashamed, and don't provoke madness. If you don't want to be mad, you must have something to put, and you don't want to lose it." What I said is exactly this truth. If you have something in your heart, don't lose it.

Lin Huiyin also wrote another essay with a similar reason, teaching us to be strong in a quiet and unhurried manner.

"There are so many setbacks in life that we don't have time to digest them. They come silently. Maybe they are in the quiet, maybe in the noise. They are not like mosquito nets, they stay there quietly, and we can grasp them at any time. The way it moves, it doesn't spoil, it doesn't suddenly turn into a mat. But setbacks do, maybe we're in the middle of excitement, maybe we're cheering and the next second it hits us like we're celebrating At the end of the college entrance examination, as everyone knows, we are about to leave the campus, and we will go to our own world in the future, and how we will get together in the future. It is also frustrating. What we have to do is to calm down, or to be strong in a calm manner, and to know that there is nothing wrong in the world. Banquet. If there is a fate, we will get together. If there is no fate, we are destined to miss it.

We must be strong in silence and without haste. "

Yes, in the face of misfortune and tribulations, we must quietly endure, dissolve, accumulate strength, and seek solutions.If you are restless and manic, the more you struggle, the worse it will be.Don't be in a hurry, don't be in a hurry, the more urgent the more you can't be.The following example illustrates this point.

In 1965, U.S. Admiral Stockdale was captured during the Vietnam War and held at the Hilton POW camp in Hanoi.As the highest-ranking general captured, Stockdale received no preferential treatment and was tortured more than 20 times.He once doubted whether he could get out alive, until he was released and returned to China eight years later.

After hearing about Stockdale's deeds, Jim, a management scientist, asked: "In 8 years, many of your companions died unfortunately. Why did you survive?"

Stockdale thought about it: "I have always wanted to get out alive to see my family, and this desire has always supported me."

But those who died should also be eager to see their relatives, right?Jim asked puzzledly, "Then who among your companions died first?"

Stockdale replied regretfully: "It's those people who are too optimistic. They always look forward to being pardoned at Christmas, but they can't get their wish after the holiday, so they think it will be possible at Easter, but they haven't been released yet... so Disappointment after disappointment, and soon after, I died of depression."

After a short pause, Stockdale sighed and talked about what happened in the prison: "Because they were locked in different cells, the compatriots could not see each other, so they invented a way to secretly transmit information, and agreed Knock each other on the wall and replace English letters with the rhythm of knocking. At the beginning, everyone used knocking on the wall to encourage each other, and the rhythm was strictly in accordance with the agreement. But after a while, some people broke the rules and often used rapid knocking around festivals. Beating to vent their emotions, the rhythm is very different from usual. More and more people are knocking irritably, the prison is full of noise, and more and more people have died since then...

"Knocking on the wall rhythmically is actually a way for everyone to express their desire to live out. If you knock on the wall chaotically, it will be counterproductive." Finally, Stockdale said earnestly, "This is a very profound lesson. In the unsatisfactory Under the circumstances, the more messy and manic a person is, the more things will backfire."

Therefore, "We must be strong in silence and without rushing."Quietness is a means, the purpose is to accumulate knowledge, expect transformation, and reap success.

8.Just looking for a solution, not a reason for complaining
Life is really about creating problems and solving them.When encountering trouble, do you find excuses to complain, or focus on solving the problem.When a woman focuses on how to solve the problem, your energy will be pooled and you will become happier.When you read inspirational books like "Chicken Soup for the Soul", you will find that the most touching stories are those who have turned from victims to winners, stood up from suffering and regained their lives.

Aria is a nurse in a hospital.One day, on the way home from get off work, her eyes suddenly hurt.So she went to a small pharmacy around the corner and bought a box of over-the-counter eye drops.But as soon as the eyedrops were put into her eyes, she immediately felt a burning pain, and she could hardly see.

Nurse Aria was still in her white uniform when she was taken to the emergency room.Doctors did everything they could, but to no avail.It turned out that the eye drops contained lye, and after an hour of dripping into the eyes, she lost her eyesight.

A 34-year-old woman suddenly became a "child" who had to rely on others for everything.For the next few months, Aria spent most of her time in bed, intermittently lethargic.The eye damage gave her frequent migraines and left her exhausted.The phone rang, but she rarely answered it.She doesn't want to see people.Her self-pity surrounded her like a wall, separating her from the outside world.She couldn't listen to the comfort of her husband and friends.

Before she lost her eyesight, Aria, like everyone else, had many friends and many interests and hobbies besides work.Besides being a nurse, she paints, makes jewelry, loves photography and flying.

But these things she liked to do became completely impossible after she lost her sight.

A year passed like this.One day, Aria was lying in bed, and suddenly she asked herself: What is the quality of my life?I'm swallowing my misery every day, getting deeper and deeper, it's worse than blindness!10 years, 20 years, 30 years with no bright future... Is this what I want?

She woke up suddenly.Do not!I can't live like this!She suddenly felt strength for the first time since she was blind, and the desire for life recurred in her heart, and she wanted to get her life back.

For the first time, Aria did not complain about the misfortune that happened to her, and she set a new goal and direction for herself.Call a guide dog organization for help.When she wanted to do this, her heart beat faster, where is the phone?Can I get through?will i dial?She felt great and couldn't be more excited.

She got in touch with Guide Dogs for the Blind, took a training session, and felt energized again.

In the six weeks that followed, Aria completed the training feeling a sense of dynamism and passion inside her for the first time since she went blind.

Gradually, with the help of a guide dog, Aria can go anywhere, and everything around her becomes easier again.She even started climbing again.If her husband spots a bird, she asks what color it is, what it looks like, and guess what it is.Her love of birds has taken on new forms.

Aria also found a new job in the hospital's X-ray room.She was able to live on her own, and soon she signed up as a volunteer with Guide Dogs for the Blind, and later worked for Guide Dogs full-time.

Aria said that she is very satisfied and peaceful now. Although she lost her eyesight, she has a clearer view of life in her heart.

Although everyone may not have experienced the extreme misfortune of Aria, everyone has many disappointments, betrayals and various hardships in their lives.Complaining can make you very heavy, very unhappy.

Life needs confidence, courage and faith, instead of complaining, depressed and crying, it is better to find a solution to the problem.An optimistic attitude can help you discover your own potential and creativity.

A woman who has the confidence to solve a problem infects others while benefiting herself.An optimistic attitude also includes open-mindedness and tenacity, making people feel that difficulties are never an obstacle to life, but a foil to courage. Being with optimistic people makes one feel happy.

Many people only know how to complain about the difficult situation, but never pay attention to solving the problem, and the consequences are often worse.Complaining is not only unnerving, it can also cost you friends.No one likes people who are full of complaints, and they are afraid that they will be entangled in this kind of unhappiness.

In the United States, it is common to see people wearing purple plastic bracelets on their wrists.In school, teachers sometimes use this to reward students as well.There was a pastor in Kansas who started a stop-complaining campaign.In his church, everyone is given a purple bracelet and asked to change the bracelet from one hand to the other every time they complain, with the goal of not changing hands for 21 consecutive days.The no-complaint movement quickly spread, and now many people around the world wear the purple bracelets, trying to create a complain-free world like this pastor.

Aria's transformation also came when she stopped complaining and despairing and started looking for solutions to her problems.

A career counselor has teamed up with a physicist to write a book on focusing attention on problem solving.Although this book is for vocational training, this concept is also applicable to women looking for and creating their own happiness.

If you have the opportunity to look at the vocational training websites in the United States, you will find that they attach great importance to the character of employees and their ability to solve problems.For example, during interviews, there are often such questions: "Tell me about the two worst situations in your last job." Then from the applicant's answers, we can see whether they are optimists or pessimists.

In the training of leaders and managers, they require these people to adhere to two points in any situation: [-]. Help the company grow and develop, and have clear goals; [-]. Whenever a problem occurs, immediately think about the problem, and Complaints about any employee are not permitted.When someone complains or complains, the leader needs to stop it immediately and say to him: "I know you are unhappy, but please tell me how to solve this problem." He must prompt employees to propose solutions and stop them from chattering about the problem to complain.

Therefore, we have to focus on solving the problem.This is not only conducive to the happiness of women, but also to professional success.

When you feel that your married life is not ideal, first think about why you are still together and what makes you happy, so that you will feel hopeful.Then think about what needs to be changed and how to change, and you will not be so pessimistic.

We must focus on the good aspects of life, stop complaining, and focus on the problems that need to be solved, only find solutions for solutions, not find reasons for complaints, so as to create a happier life.

(End of this chapter)