Calm women are the most elegant

Chapter 22 In the face of love, how to avoid chaos (3)
You have to admit that there is an energy exchange between men and women, which is invisible but felt.Why do we always be friends with the same kind of people?This is because the energy vibration frequency of each other is similar, which feels comfortable and forms a natural attraction.The energy of the man who "raises" the woman in front can blend with the woman, and he must be taller than the woman, and naturally flows from the high place to the low place, so that the woman can be nourished, and the person will naturally become more beautiful.

The question is, why do some people kill each other after falling in love and getting together?That's because of the relationship between the sexes, whether it's a happy or a bad relationship.Energy all attract each other, like a magnetic field.However, because they are energies that consume each other, they cannot be circulated, so Nie Yuan does not "raise" each other in the end.

For another example, after a woman marries a man, her body and mood gradually deteriorate because the man cannot nourish her.When the elders are looking for someone they like for their children, they will look at the horoscope to see if their fate is compatible.In fact, this is not entirely superstitious.Long-term love is not fate. From the perspective of physical harmony, it is because one party cannot "support" the other party due to "insufficient energy".

One of my relatives was in poor health before marriage and suffered from frequent minor disasters and illnesses. He had seen many famous doctors and tried many bitter medicines, but he could not be cured.After getting married, her body miraculously recovered.The explanation of traditional Chinese medicine is that the fire in the man's body just neutralizes the coldness of the woman, and one thing subsides the other.This explanation is really philosophical.

A woman was as beautiful as a flower before marriage, but the flower withered very quickly after marriage. Three years of marriage almost made her suffer from depression.This man didn't "raise" her, he was still consuming her. When they were together, she was always giving. This selfish man made her haggard day by day.She finally chose to divorce, and not long after she walked out, she felt that the gloom was swept away, and the withered flower gradually regained its vitality and bloomed brilliantly again.

A man who really "raises" a woman doesn't need to bother to understand the man's physical character, just look at the state of the woman.If a woman's eyes are stable and her face is bright, then she is married to the right person.As mentioned above, those women who don't look good before marriage but become more and more beautiful after marriage are married to the right man who "raised" them.

From this, I would like to draw the conclusion that the most important characteristic of a man who "raises" a woman is that his physical energy can make a woman feel at ease.When two people are in the same space, even if they don't speak, they will naturally and silently circulate each other's love energy between each other.If it is a person who is not compatible, if the other person walks in front of you, the sensitive person will feel the invisible pressure, how can it be possible to "raise" someone?
Can money buy health?Can money buy you what you want?Can money buy harmony?No, if you are not poor and white, don't try to marry your man with beauty, the man who "raises" you is the best.Of course, a man who is rich and nourishes you is excellent.But that is a small probability event, and it is very difficult for ordinary women!
Women who are in a hurry to get married, please be sure to figure out the issue of "raising" first.The best marriage is a combination of "supporting" each other in health and spirit, or to sublimate it, it is a marriage that is symmetrical in three aspects of body, mind and spirit.This kind of marriage is happy, harmonious, and positive, and it is also the easiest to achieve a century-old marriage.And such a century-old relationship is the most valuable.

7.Test it, is he right?
When a man meets a woman, from acquaintance to acquaintance, to falling in love, to finally becoming husband and wife, of course there will be accidental factors, but there are more inevitable factors. Difficult to pull."Therefore, to some extent, the acquaintance and love between a man and a woman is more of an accident, and whether they can get married depends more on internal inevitable factors.

There are many people in the world, and there are many people who love each other, but not all of them can hold hands and walk into the palace of marriage in the end.Some people are only suitable for love but not for marriage, because some basic requirements must be met to be suitable as a couple, otherwise even if they reluctantly form a couple, they will torture each other and eventually become resentful spouses.

To judge whether a man is suitable for you to marry, mainly consider the following aspects.

[-]. Is he a friend you can talk to?
As a husband and wife, the most basic relationship should be friends, and it should be a good friend or a close friend. Unless you are just a purely biological husband and wife who inherit the family, otherwise, even the relationship of friends will not reach the level of how to be a husband and wife, even if you barely become a husband and wife. won't last long.

[-]. Do you have roughly the same values ​​of life as you?
Birds of a feather flock together, and friends should have basically the same understanding of the outlook on life, the world and values, at least they can acquiesce in each other's life values, otherwise how can we be friends?Even so with friends, if a husband and wife want to live together for a long time, of course they need more mutually agreeable values ​​of life.If the husband and wife have inconsistent pursuit of life and life goals, and there are serious differences in their views on things, how can the marriage go on?

[-]. Whether we can fully understand and trust
"Knowing each other" is the basic premise of interpersonal communication, and if you want to be a husband and wife, understanding is of course the most basic thing to do.The other party's family background, education, temperament, personality traits, living habits, etc., should be fully understood.Of course, just understanding is not enough. After understanding, you have to accept and fully trust each other. Without trust, there will be no communication, especially for couples.

[-]. Are the two willing to communicate in conflicts?

It is inevitable that there will be some problems and conflicts between people, and the same is true for husbands and wives, and because they are together every day, the possibility of conflicts will be even greater.It is not terrible to have conflicts. What is terrible is that the inability to communicate with each other makes the conflicts intensify to the point of uncontrollable development. Therefore, a basic and important requirement for a husband and wife is to learn to communicate in time when encountering things.

[-]. Whether there is a basic spirit of "suffering" between each other

In many cases between husband and wife, what you get and what you give are not always in proportion.There is always one party who will give more and the other party less.Of course, as a husband and wife, you can't haggle over every detail, you must have a spirit of dedication and sacrifice.In marriage, no one owes anyone, and there is no distinction between high and low. Being willing to sacrifice and give is also one of the basic elements of being a husband and wife.

[-]. Can we be tolerant to each other?

Everyone makes mistakes. Since husband and wife are in close contact, it is easier to find each other's mistakes and shortcomings.Therefore, as a husband and wife, we should have a tolerant heart, be able to correctly and rationally look at each other's shortcomings and mistakes, and neither find fault with nor condone unprincipled.Tolerate small shortcomings and mistakes, and help the other party to correct big mistakes and shortcomings, so that the husband and wife can make progress together.

[-]. Are the like-minded people basically congenial?

Everyone has their own aspirations, but as a couple, they should maintain the basic consistency in their aspirations.In terms of interests, aspirations, and tastes, they can have roughly the same views and viewpoints. Only in this way can they be in step and not go further and further apart.Only those who have similar interests can live together for a long time, and a couple who seem to be in harmony with each other cannot be happy.

Eight, can stand the test, support each other

The important point that marriage is different from love is that marriage needs to face more pressure and problems in real life, so it will encounter many difficulties and problems.Whether it is a wife or a husband, whether in life or at work, they will encounter some unexpected difficulties. This is not terrible. The key lies in whether they can get the firm support of the other party.If your significant other shrinks back when encountering problems, it is not as good as an ordinary friend, and your married life will definitely not go on in the future.

Nine, can accept each other's relatives
Many young lovers tend to overlook this point easily, thinking that marriage is a matter between two people and has nothing to do with others.This is so naive.Marriage is as much a matter of two young people as it is a matter of two families.In addition to loving each other, husband and wife must be able to accept each other's family. If you can't bear some actions of the other's parents and family, and they can't do nothing about you, then your future married life will have endless troubles.

[-]. Is there a basic material economy as the basis?
Being suitable for dating does not mean being suitable for being a husband and wife, because apart from romance, marriage is more about real life, without a certain material and economic foundation, it is impossible to continue married life, so two people who are too artistic may Not suitable for couples, because they are likely to sink into the romantic art life and do not know how to live and earn money to support their families.

8.Are you mentally prepared for marriage?

Most women will still choose to marry.There are too many unreasonable fallacies about what needs to be prepared before marriage. If you get it wrong at the beginning, you are doomed to go further and further down the wrong path and miss happiness.

In order to help you not lose at the starting point of love, now, before you pray to heaven and earth, I will teach you to master the correct marriage mentality, surpass the sorrow of love, and let you be a happy woman who can manage marriage.Of course, I don't care about new houses, new clothes, furniture, and electrical appliances. Someone will take care of them for you.What I want to help you accomplish is mental preparation.Because in order to form a new family, it is not enough to prepare materially, but also to prepare a series of psychological preparations.Because it will directly affect the life of husband and wife in the future.

So, what necessary psychological preparations should you make before getting married?

[-]. Be mentally prepared that "marriage is actually not as perfect as you imagined"
No matter for marriage, married life or your lover, don't expect too much, and be mentally prepared that they are not as good as you imagined.

Since they have no marriage experience, women only know about marriage from TV, novels or descriptions from friends and relatives.Therefore, they tend to think of marriage too beautifully and romantically.But when a woman actually gets married, she will find that the marriage is not as good and sweet as she imagined, and her lover does not seem to be as perfect as before. question.

Therefore, it is very necessary to correct one's views and attitudes towards marriage and lover before marriage.We should understand that marriage is a common life where two people come together. A lover is also a person of flesh and blood, and there will be various contradictions and shortcomings. Since we came together because of love and decided to get married, we should adapt to his habits. For his shortcomings, tolerate each other and work with each other to achieve a better tacit understanding and create a more harmonious married life.

Moreover, two people should not only think of taking from each other, but should first dedicate to each other. Only by making selfless dedication to love and lover can the relationship between two people be more harmonious.Marriage is just a kind of life. Although it is established by love, it cannot escape the tediousness of life after all.Learn to face and solve problems together, respect and love each other, help each other, tolerate each other, and support each other.

[-]. Be prepared for "marriage is not about finding a man to support you and take care of you for the rest of your life"
Marriage is not about finding a man to take care of you for the rest of your life, but about the two of you supporting each other and living together as a partner.Now that the social pressure is so great, it is no longer realistic for a man to support his family alone.If you like such a man, other women also like it.He may adopt you for a while, and when the novelty wears off, or when the pressure hits him alone, the chances of cheating on you in front of money and women will increase greatly.After all, men are human beings, not gods, and they also need warmth and help.

[-]. Be prepared to adapt to a new pace of life that is different from the past

Maybe you don’t know how to work before marriage, but you have to share all the housework after marriage; maybe you can stay up all night to play with friends before marriage, but after marriage, there is another person waiting for your care.Of course, celibacy is relatively more free and easy, but after marriage, you have certain responsibilities to your lover and family, and you can't just do it as you used to.When two people come to live together, everything in life must be borne by two people together.

Many young people think of marriage too simply, thinking that two people who love each other will live a sweet and happy life when they get together, but they don't take other factors in life into consideration.Know that life is a complex experience that needs to be learned together.

Moreover, after you get married, you will suddenly have many relatives and friends, which will make you confused and don't know how to deal with it, so you should adapt to such a life as soon as possible.

[-]. Make sure the emotional foundation is solid and mature

There are some married men and women whose emotional foundation is not very stable, and they don't even know each other well enough. Such a marriage will definitely have various problems.Therefore, when facing unexpected problems due to lack of understanding, you must be mentally prepared.

[-]. Have a certain understanding of sex life
The topic of sex life has always been a forbidden area under the influence of traditional concepts in our country.Many young men and women don't understand it very well, which makes the couple's normal sex life after marriage take many detours.And sex life is a very important content in married life.Therefore, it is very necessary to learn more relevant knowledge and understand the psychology of the opposite sex before marriage.

(End of this chapter)