Calm women are the most elegant

Chapter 24
I think two people can work together in the same boat in career, but in the division of labor in the family, the two heads of a family will end up with no one being the master.The famous American psychologist Emerson Egrich pointed out: "A family cannot have two masters, otherwise the marriage can only end in failure. Two masters are also one of the most important reasons for the breakdown of many families today. In fact, these failures There is no one in the family who can make decisions. In a family, there must be someone who can stand up and speak up, so the Bible clearly states that the wife should hand over the responsibility of the family to the husband."

The fact that the husband is the head of the family does not mean that he is always on top and the wife needs to be humble to him.It means that he needs to take responsibility in the family. When a man has more power in the family, he is actually given more responsibilities. Power and obligations often complement each other.

Women want to find a strong man when choosing a mate, and no one wants to find a wimp or a weak person. If you take care of everything at home, but he has nothing to do, over time, he will only be alienated from the family.The wife is very strong, and she is the top leader inside and out, while the husband is obedient and obedient. Later, the husband can't get in the way of eating, drinking, and sleeping at home, and finally he just becomes a big shopkeeper who has nothing to do.Once a wife who worked day and night told me after she chose to divorce her husband: "It is better to have a dog than to raise a useless man!"

Everyone knows the truth that "water can carry a boat or overturn it", and it is usually only used to discuss current affairs and political opinions, but it is also quite reasonable to deal with the relationship between men and women.As a woman, it should be as warm and soothing as the hot spring we soak in. It seems invisible but it is tangible, and it has another power contained in it.On the contrary, if a woman appears to be too strong, people will only dare not look at her closely, and will always be kept in awe at a distance.I think that when the movie "King Kong" was staged back then, women were crying for the gorilla King Kong. Perhaps many women would imagine a man like King Kong in their hearts, but I haven't heard of any man who wants to snuggle up with a man next to his pillow. A woman comparable to King Kong!

It is said that women are made of water, let us keep the tenderness, kindness and tranquility of water.

4.Don't nag, you'll be fine

In life, why some women can make men never get bored, no matter how beautiful the outside scenery is, she can always make men linger around her, while some women make men want to run away when they see it, and hide as far away as possible the better?The reason for the difference between the two lies in whether your existence makes men feel comfortable.Among them, nagging is the biggest enemy that makes men unable to feel comfortable.

According to the survey, among the things men hate about women, "nagging" ranks first, and it is much higher than the second-ranked "don't like to dress up".It seems that men who have always been lustful would rather endure the quietness of ugly women than the nagging of beautiful women. You can imagine the seriousness of this situation.

Why do women nag?To sum up, firstly, women are the main person in charge of housework, men don’t care about things, and women take care of many and trivial things, so it is inevitable to say a few more words; secondly, because of women’s love and sense of responsibility, they have to worry about every aspect of the family. A member and every detail of family life; the third is that a woman expresses her joys and sorrows, what she sees and hears, and wants to confide to her husband, so as to gain comfort, consideration and trust in the communication...

In fact, most of the reasons show that women's nagging is good, out of love for men, concern for children, and responsibility for the family. Talk about making love more harmonious and making the family happier.

A woman's nagging is like a leaky faucet, exhausting her patience, making men feel restricted and stressed, and at the same time, there will be a feeling of distrust in the subconscious; a woman's nagging is like killing people. A bloody knife will make a man think that a woman is disciplining him, complaining about him, and urging him, so men will inevitably have a rebellious psychology, and gradually accumulate a kind of hatred, leading to family conflicts and even family breakdown.It is said that in the United States, 2000 wife murderers admit to killing their wives every year because their wives are too nagging.

In view of this, it is not an exaggeration to say that nagging is the grave of marriage.

Mr. Tian often complains to his friends: "I married a 'nagging queen', and endure her faultfinding and endless complaints every day. I really want to be relieved."

It turned out that every day from Mr. Tian's return home until he went to bed, his wife kept nagging.She accused him of forgetting to bring the keys when he went out in the morning, complained that a neighbor threw a leftover apple core in front of the door, and satirized her mother-in-law for not taking her seriously...Mr. , but his wife's nagging was like a curse, which made him more and more headache the more he listened.

If things go on like this, because he is afraid of her nagging, Mr. Tian starts to have a headache when it is time to get off work.So, he took the initiative to ask the boss to work overtime to waste time, or simply went to a friend's house to make do.

Carnegie said in "The Weakness of Human Nature": Nagging is the grave of love.Smart woman, if you really love him, want to be favored by him, and want to maintain a happy family life, stop nagging!

Tao Lesi Dix believes that whether a man's married life is happy or not is closely related to his wife's temper.If she is irascible and nagging and critical, all other virtues in the world are worth nothing.Socrates' wife Lanxibo is a famous shrew. To avoid her, Socrates spent most of his time contemplating philosophy under a tree in Athens; And he ran away from home on a snowy night and died at the train station; the reason why Caesar divorced his second wife was because he couldn't stand her nagging all day long.

If you are a nagging woman, how can you change yourself to save your marriage?
[-]. Communicate more, don't nag
After a busy day, it’s hard for two people to meet each other. Maybe you want to tell him what you saw today, but the man may be tired or worried about something. He just wants to read a newspaper quietly. If you If you don't know how to talk, you are asking for trouble.You might as well give him a quiet space first, wait until he is full and emotionally stable, and then have a good communication.

At the same time, when expressing your wishes and opinions, it is best to use a tactful and humorous way to avoid repeated orders and complaints.

[-]. Treat unpleasant things calmly
When some women encounter unpleasant things, they always talk about their unhappiness and depression tirelessly, and they don't see the expression of the man who is already bothered.Therefore, at this time, you should find a way to control your emotions, get rid of your bad emotions through other channels, and discuss it with your husband carefully when you calm down.You can come for a big cleaning, go to work to get rid of tomorrow's work, go to a beauty salon to wash your face, and invite friends out for entertainment.There are so many things to do in life, why do you have to nag?
[-]. Discuss the matter as it stands, stop nagging
For example, you nag him about throwing dirty clothes around, then you talk about the messy bookcase, and then you talk about him not helping you cook... This will make him at a loss, not knowing what is wrong with him, and instead blame you for being too nagging nagging.So you have to be on the facts and clearly indicate where the dirty laundry should be put.

[-]. Deliberate self-control

Consciously control your speaking speed and the total amount of speaking, try not to repeat one thing, and stick to the principle of saying one thing at most once.

[-]. Cultivate the habit of writing and nagging
If you really have the urge to nag, write what you want to nag about instead of saying it.

5.He treats you coldly after marriage, it's human nature

Almost every woman has been annoyed because her husband doesn't care about herself as much as before:

"You used to pester me every day, but now you don't call me all day long."

"I used to always send me flowers, but now I don't even bother to send them on Valentine's Day."

"You didn't fight back when I beat you before, but now you get annoyed if I nag you."

"In the past, you would coax me when I lost my temper, but now you don't bother to care about me when I'm in trouble."

I have heard too many complaints like this.

When replying to these emails, my first sentence is always: the past is the past, and the present is the present.

Yes, every marriage must be down-to-earth, otherwise it will not last long.A long time makes love, and likewise, a long time is also boring.This is just human nature.

No matter how fragrant the flowers are, if you always smell and always look at them, the sense of smell and vision will become dull and numb due to the long-term immutability.

There is an old saying: "Enter the house of orchids, and you will not smell its fragrance for a long time; enter the house of abalone, and you will not smell its stink for a long time." After marriage, they get along day and night, and their ears and temples rub each other. There are two kinds of results: one is that the tiredness grows day by day, getting along with each other becomes more and more reluctant, and the "tasteful" becomes "tasteless"; the other situation becomes more stable and tacit in the mutual attraction.But both results are very flat, completely different from the enthusiasm of love.

Of course, men's burnout is also related to women's negligence.

Some people say: Every woman has two versions: hardcover and paperback.The former is for others to see in the workplace and social occasions, with heavy makeup and radiance; the latter is for the people you love the most at home, changing into home clothes and pajamas, chattering and complaining.

Married husbands often only see the paperbacks of their wives and the hardcovers of other women.Two versions, two flavors, two attitudes.

In order to avoid men’s aesthetic fatigue and to keep their femininity fresh, women need to start with the second situation, because the first situation is a physiological law, and you can’t control it.The only thing you can do is to keep yourself fresh every day and change your "femininity" all the time.Just like a chef entertains his diners, he keeps changing tricks to make himself delicious and delicious.

There are also some women who are naturally beautiful, and they are full of "femininity" without deliberate carving.However, time is like a pair of rough hands. Under its rubbing, the beauty of a woman gradually loses its luster, gradually dims, and gradually wrinkles... This is also natural and cannot be avoided or reversed.So, even if you feel good about yourself, try to keep yourself fresh.You'd better not miss the following courses:

[-]. Relive love and keep it fresh
After many couples get married, they often regard each other as relatives, and it is difficult to return to the feeling of turbulence when they are in love. In fact, apart from sex, couples can occasionally add some "love".Like when you are in love, let him carefully prepare a romantic candlelight dinner for you, let him send you a bouquet of love roses, and take a short trip to the countryside together on Sunday... These are all good choices, it will Make you glow like a girl again, after all, women in love are always the most beautiful.

[-]. Keep slim

Don't forget to keep your charming charm in front of your man at any time.Women know how to dress up before marriage and in love, so as to be pleasing to those who please them.All husbands want his wife to be a curvy woman, if you are overweight, then you must take action immediately to get rid of those unwanted fats on your body, otherwise, I'm afraid you will not be popular anymore .

[-]. Create your own femininity
Maybe you don't have noble temperament, fair skin, and beautiful face, but women must have femininity, strong women are not cute, and little women cannot be loved.Whether you are a senior white-collar worker or an ordinary housewife, you must first be feminine, and you must be gentle, docile, virtuous, meticulous and considerate as a woman should be.Find a balance between tradition and modernity, pursue the beauty of sexy and hot fashion while not abandoning the elegance and gracefulness of traditional classics, and do not lose the small sentiment of a little woman when competing with men in career.

As long as you do yourself a good job, aesthetic fatigue can be completely avoided, and even if it occurs, it can be eliminated.The following example of a couple can confirm what I said.

A couple has been married for seven or eight years, and they once loved each other deeply.At the beginning of the newlyweds, the husband was absent-minded about work every day. What he looked forward to most was to get off work early and then run home.There, there is the beautiful smiling face of his newlywed wife who greets him. After he walks into the house, he will first have an affectionate hug and kiss, and then the two will cook dinner together.Such nights are often shrouded in tenderness and sweetness.

A year later, my husband started his own company, and his work became more and more busy. He began to come home very late, and even when he came home, he would fall asleep soundly.The wife still insisted on waiting for him to come back every day, but she couldn't wait for his hugs and passionate kisses.He began to be reluctant to get close to her, and his sex life more than twice a week became less than once in half a month.His temper became irritable and irritable, and sometimes when he came home, he just lay on the sofa watching TV, or smoked silently, and his heart began to close to her.

She is also very irritable. Every night when her husband comes back, she complains endlessly that he is not interested in her, and suspects that he has other thoughts.

Her complaints did not check his indifference.One day, he came home and asked her for a divorce. His reason was that he could no longer feel the passion in this relationship, he was tired, and he wanted to live again.Of course, he declared to her that it didn't mean he had someone out there.

After listening silently, she burst into tears, sprinkled for a while, and then ran away from home.She came back two days later, and she became extremely quiet. She agreed to his request and only made one request to him. She will formally discuss the divorce in a month. During this month, he must insist on going home early every day and returning home After returning home, give her a hug or a kiss—this is the only condition for her to agree to a divorce.

He didn't understand why, but he agreed anyway.

At first, he was a little uncomfortable because he hadn't hugged or kissed his wife for a long time.So when he went to complete this task, he even dodged a little, but when his wife closed her eyes, the familiar feeling came back little by little, and he remembered their first love. At that time, when he kissed her, she always He closed her big eyes habitually, and he even kissed the tears overflowing from his wife's eyes, which made his heart tremble.

He found that he still loved her, but this kind of love was covered by the busyness and self-righteousness in the dusty years. Now, when the mood became clear and clear, the dark cloud covering love dissipated instantly.Did not wait for a month, one night, he came home early one night, he who never cooks usually prepared a table of meals, when his wife came back, he opened the door for her, stepped forward to hug her, no need to say anything, everything was done In the words.

Do you know what this woman has been doing for almost a month?She is silently adjusting and beautifying herself. From her appearance to her soul, she has learned how to dress, and she is no longer as untidy as before when she comes home and only cares about being relaxed.She also returned to her old career and picked up the guqin, which she was passionate about before.Although I don't have much time, playing the piano for half an hour every day, the sound of the piano is soft, not only I am stable, but my husband is also relaxed.Therefore, the two have a tacit understanding as before.

6.Calmness is not swallowing

In the marriage, a calm woman manages her business with ease, but she has never swallowed her anger without principle.

The relationship between lifting weights lightly and swallowing one's breath can be compared to tolerance and connivance.

Tolerance and connivance are a pair of "twin sisters".Tolerance goes further is connivance, and connivance takes a step back is tolerance.Tolerance is to double understanding when the other party is not at fault, to make reasonable understanding on the premise that the other party is aware of their mistakes, and to leave room for others to correct their mistakes; connivance is to turn a blind eye when the other party refuses to admit their mistakes, making them deeply Falling into the quagmire of betrayal and unable to extricate themselves.

Tolerance is the glue of marriage, but connivance is not, connivance is a "termite" that eats away at marriage.

Therefore, a calm woman is tolerant to men, but never condones.They cherish, but do not commit themselves to.

She met him in a season of drizzle, and the rain flowers falling all over the sky are so charming. The encounter between her and him was purely by chance. Maybe many things in the world are inevitable after chance. She and him Walking on a rainy day, she watched the sea with him, and held hands and talked long-lasting love words together.

(End of this chapter)