Calm women are the most elegant

Chapter 26
[-]. Do not order your husband in front of your mother-in-law
This principle is actually very easy to understand. From another perspective, if your parents come to live at home and your husband keeps ordering you to do this and that, how will your parents feel?They will think that their daughter will easily get tired at home.Especially in a society like China where men are superior to women and women are inferior, the mother-in-law will definitely be upset when she sees that you have nothing to do with her husband. She will feel that her son can't be the master at home, and he is actually being ordered by a woman.So who wouldn't have resistance?After leaving the sight of mother-in-law, you can do whatever you like, as long as you don't let her see it.

[-]. Pay more attention to the daily life of mother-in-law

Whether you are sincere or false, superficial efforts must be done, and this will also make your husband look at you differently.When buying things for my mother, I thought about buying one for my mother-in-law.How carefully observe her daily life, hot or cold?What do you want to eat?What do you want to do?Take the time to fulfill her wish.Unless she's sick, she won't cost you much.Most mother-in-laws love their sons even more than their own lives. She also hopes that you will live happily and will not spend a lot of money on you. She is old and lonely, and a little care from you will be remembered in her heart.

[-]. Take some time to listen to her nagging
The way many daughters-in-law get along with their mother-in-law is to hide as much as possible, and rarely sit down and talk with their mother-in-law. They feel that they have nothing to say to their mother-in-law.But for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who live under the same roof, hiding is not always an option.Then just make up your mind and coax her if you have nothing to do, the elderly like to have someone to chat with her, and listen to her if you have time.She likes to nag, so let her nag, it's nothing more than my son's business.

Tell me about the difficulty of raising your son and the process of your son's growth. You listen and echo along: "Mom, it's really not easy for you. You must be filial to you." What are you afraid of when you say something nice?It is secondary to not being able to do it. When it comes to it, it is necessary. You have to make her feel that you and her are a family. With you, she has more daughters, rather than being robbed of sons.

[-]. Let the past be the past

Living together, there will always be small frictions between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Occasionally, an unpleasant word or something that makes you unhappy, let it go after it is over, and don’t always keep it in your heart.If your mother told you, you must have forgotten it in two days.The mother-in-law is the head of the family, and may sometimes like to educate you, there is no harm in listening to a few words and walking away.

It is definitely not a good way to put on a cold face after friction. If you make your husband embarrassed, your mother-in-law will think you are ignorant, and you will still be angry in your heart.It's not a major matter of principle, so don't worry too much about it.Of course, what I want to remind is that it is best not to let the parents-in-law live in, because many conflicts occur in small things in life. If there is no way to live in, then you must be mentally prepared. You can't just follow your own mood.

If you really can't get along, don't tear your face and quarrel. At this time, I suggest that the sisters think of a clever way to move out.

8.Marriage is all in business, and second-married women can also have a good relationship

In some places, people who have been divorced are called "second-marriage bosses". Isn't it hard to hear?Yes.It is full of discrimination and exclusion.

There are also several second-married women in my social circle. They always subconsciously feel inferior to their second-marriage experience.And those sisters who are still single after divorce are even more worried. They always feel that this is not the first time, it is not new, and they are afraid of being rejected by men.

At this time, I tell them, not to mention now, even in ancient times when feudal ideology strongly advocated single-mindedness, there were not a few women who married twice.In the collection of strange novels "Yi Jian Zhi", there are as many as 61 stories involving the remarriage of women in the Song Dynasty.Especially before the Song Dynasty, widowed women could remarry, and divorced women could remarry, and no one looked down on them.Moreover, as long as they work hard, second-married women can also have a good marriage.

According to my knowledge, among second-married women, Yang Xianrong is the most legendary and happiest married woman.

Yang Xianrong is the earliest second-married woman I know.

Ordinarily, if a woman can be a queen, it is a good thing that the ancestral grave smokes.But Yang Xianrong's role as queen is not so enviable, because her husband Jin Huidi is the emperor recognized as an "idiot" at all times.Once, a minister reported to Emperor Jin Hui on his work and said, "Your Majesty, the common people are so poor that they have nothing to eat!" Emperor Jin Hui didn't understand very much: "Ah? There is no food to eat, why don't you eat meat?" Until Jin Hui The emperor was poisoned to death by his political opponents, and Yang Xianrong lived a life of being imprisoned in disguise.

When Yang Xianrong was in his 30s, the former Zhao general Liu Yao broke into the palace, and everyone in the palace ran for their lives, only Yang Xianrong stood there fearlessly.Liu Yao fell in love with her at first sight on the spot!Liu Yao's conditions are very good. Not only is he handsome, he is good at calligraphy and writing, and he is also a marksman.The two hit it off, very affectionate.In the second year of Liu Yao's accession to the throne, he made Yang Xianrong the queen, and the two had three sons together.Later, Liu Yao made Yang Xianrong's son Liu Xi the crown prince.

Man is a possessive animal.Although Jin Huidi was an idiot, he had a daughter with Yang Xianrong after all.Once, Liu Yao jokingly asked: "How do I compare with your ex-husband?" Yang Xianrong is so smart, he immediately drew a line with his ex-husband: "What kind of man is he, he can't even protect his wife and children! I thought All the men in the world are like him, and since I followed you, I know that there are real men in this world!" After hearing this sonorous and forceful confession, Liu Yao was completely devoted to Yang Xianrong from then on, and even let her participate in the government.After Yang Xianrong's death, Liu Yao was distraught, drank heavily every day, and used countless manpower and material resources to build a luxurious mausoleum for his wife that was comparable to the Taj Mahal.

In the Jin Dynasty, there was also a happy second-married woman with a unique name——Zheng Achun.Like Yang Xianrong, she is also an older widow.The family is poor, and he takes his son to live with his uncle.Although she is dependent on others, she is smart and open-minded, neither humble nor overbearing.At that time, the wife of Sima Rui, the Prime Minister of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, died, and he planned to remarry Uncle Zheng Achun's daughter Wu Shi.

One day, Zheng Achun accompanied his cousin Wu to visit the garden, and taught her how to get along with each other while walking.Unexpectedly, this scene happened to be spotted by Sima Rui's envoy.The envoy was very enthusiastic, and turned around and said to Sima Rui: "Zheng Achun is more virtuous than Wu, you will be happier if you marry her!" So Sima Rui gave up the young and beautiful Wu and married Zheng Achun.After marriage, the relationship between the couple was very harmonious, and Zheng Achun, who was generous in handling things, was also respected by his stepson and stepdaughter.

Zhang Shi, the wife of Chen Ping, the famous Prime Minister of the Western Han Dynasty, married six times in total.Before marrying Chen Ping, Zhang's five husbands all died.Although Mrs. Zhang got the notoriety of "Kefu", she didn't complain about herself, let alone hang herself and wipe her neck. She embroidered flowers at home and waited for a good relationship.

Once, when Zhang's family was having a funeral, Chen Ping ran over to help.Grandpa Zhang knew a hero with his eyesight, and felt that this young man would be promising in the future, so he married his granddaughter Zhang.Not only was Chen Ping not "ke" to death, he later became a famous prime minister, and Mrs. Zhang also became the prime minister's wife.

There is also the wife of Nankang Deng Yuanyi in the later Han Dynasty, who has a wicked mother-in-law.When Deng Yuanyi went back to his hometown to work, the mother-in-law took the opportunity to abuse her daughter-in-law and locked her in a small dark room, almost starving her to death.In the end, even the father-in-law couldn't stand it, and sent Deng's wife back to her natal family crying. Deng's wife, who had "died" once, vowed not to be a doormat and remarried to Huazhong. The husband and wife lived in harmony, and the absurd things never happened again.

It can be seen that even in ancient times when men were superior to women and feudalism was serious, as long as you manage carefully, you can have a good marriage again in a second marriage.Modern women have no reason to feel inferior.

9.Always be a spiritual woman
The word "spirituality" is often used to describe people's intelligence and ability to feel and understand things.In the past, I always believed that words have spirituality, because words have spirituality, and articles have vitality.With a soul that is different from others, the mountains and rivers in the pen are murmuring, the family affection is moving, and the food is fragrant.Later I found out that the same is true for being a woman. I want to be a "spiritual" woman throughout my life.

A spiritual woman is like a transparent precious jade, absorbing the essence of the sun and the moon to moisten her body. Although she does not have hundreds of gorgeous clothes at every turn, she walks past you with a simple mix and match of pure-color clothes, and a smile is like a spring breeze. Generous and decent, passing lightly, your thinking pauses for three seconds, not knowing where this aura comes from.In terms of figure, appearance, and height, she is too ordinary, but what captured your heart in an instant?It is spirituality, which has endowed women with incomparable calmness and splendor.

A spiritual woman is a good hand at home.Her spirituality nourishes everything silently. Regardless of poverty or wealth, a spiritual woman will tidy up her small home neatly. Even if it is a rented shabby room, she will plant a few flowers and plants, fold a bunch of wind chimes skillfully, and buy them on the street. The cloth head of the same color is processed into beautiful curtains.Simple vegetables and radishes, she can create different patterns and flavors. Although poor but not poor, the family is full of warmth.

A spiritual woman must have her own small space, where does the spirituality come from?A good book, a good movie, even an inadvertent little detail in life, a spiritual woman will capture what she wants.Spirituality, in the carefully cut potato shreds in life, between the fingers where running water passes through when washing clothes, on the fragrant tea eggs on the breakfast table, in the bubbling braised pork, in various In this kind of interesting practice... a spiritual woman keeps learning and absorbs the essence from the world.

A spiritual woman must be positive. Her work may be ordinary, but her unique creativity often impresses her superiors. She is meticulous in thinking and meticulous.A spiritual woman is like a bay of living water, nourishing everything wherever she goes.You can say that she is passionate or capable, but she will never be tough and ask for credit.Happiness belongs to everyone, and results belong to the team. If you are a supervisor, you must not be able to refuse such an excellent woman.

It is a blessing for a man to marry a spiritual woman in this life. Even if a man has a hundred grievances, he will become soft in front of a spiritual woman.There is no way, her intelligence and spirituality have melted the man.A spiritual woman naturally has rules when facing a volcanic erupting man. She will not interrupt your outrageous accusations, but she will focus her eyes and listen carefully to your speech.At this time, men often find that half of the temper that was still furious just now has disappeared suddenly. It turns out that it is enough to talk about it once and someone listen to it once. In the atmosphere of relief, there is already a solution to the problem.

A spiritual woman is not afraid of the erosion of time.In addition to adding wrinkles to her cheeks, the years have enriched her experience and experience, making her honor and disgrace, and turning her into a nostalgic scenery.

Spirituality is like what Buddhism calls "the root of wisdom".It dissolves in a woman's bone marrow, flows in a woman's blood, cannot be imitated, cannot be copied, and can only be cultivated in meditation.

(End of this chapter)