Calm women are the most elegant

Chapter 27 Fighting in the workplace, I'm afraid I won't be calm (1)
In the workplace, you are not afraid of your poor family, your education, your experience, your cuteness, or your calmness.

A woman whose emotional intelligence is too low and can lose control of her emotions at any time is like a ticking time bomb in the workplace, turning the workplace into a battlefield or a garbage dump at any time.

Remember, the aristocratic temperament in the workplace can be cultivated, as long as you can mature and calm down.

1.In the mixed workplace, you can only hold if you are calm

In a mixed workplace, IQ is important, qualifications are important, ability is important, but emotional intelligence is more important.If you can keep calm when the situation is out of control, if you can hold the bottom line when your emotions are out of control, if you can not show your dissatisfaction on your face when you are upset, you will not be shocked by honor or disgrace, and look at the situation with a smile.With this kind of you, even if you don't climb high, you can still be a celebrity.

However, women are very prone to mood swings due to physiological reasons, and it is not easy to restrain themselves.The external environment can easily affect their emotions, and if the environment changes slightly, they will collapse emotionally.Emotional women are like the weather in July. The sun was shining brightly just now, but in the next minute there may be violent storms accompanied by lightning and thunder.A woman who is out of control often speaks unscrupulously, thereby irritating others and causing accidents for herself.

Take a look at the career misfortunes of these two women with low EQ.

One day, the woman didn't know what medicine she had taken wrongly, and she yelled at her immediate boss: "Why haven't you promoted me yet?" list.At that moment, she was so angry that she just wanted to seek justice for herself.

However, when she questioned her boss loudly, the boss also confirmed her opinion: "You are too impulsive, and dare to slap my desk. This kind of subordinate will never be promoted, and it is impossible to become a qualified manager."

Once this concept is "taken root" in the mind, it is difficult to change.After a while, the company needed personnel adjustments in various departments due to the economic downturn.The boss took this opportunity to politely "invite" the woman out of the company.

Lin is the secretary of the deputy general manager of a certain company. She has a stylish appearance and a straightforward personality. She is usually careless. Although she is more careful in her work, her impulsive personality is one of her weaknesses.

Once, when assisting her boss to deal with a customer complaint, she said something she shouldn't have said: "Why are you so unreasonable? Our company will compensate you according to your actual situation. You can't make such a rude statement." requirements." After finishing speaking, she angrily hung up the customer's call.

That afternoon, the customer who had received "special treatment" came to their company angrily and asked to see the general manager to complain about Lin.The other female colleagues saw it, and they also talked about Lin: "She usually speaks without thinking about it, and doesn't look at the object. Does this offend the client? Impulse is really a devil."

Analyzing the commonalities of the above two people, it is not difficult to find that they both suffer from losing control of their emotions, speaking indiscriminately, and irritating others.This wakes us up: To be a calm person in the workplace, you need to be calm especially at critical moments, which is also a manifestation of high emotional intelligence.

Calmness, in short, means that when the situation is out of control, you can remain calm, calmly analyze and properly handle abnormal events; when others are out of control, you can still stabilize yourself, understand and appease the other party's negative emotions.

In the workplace, people who are too emotional can never find real friends and partners, nor can they be valued by leaders. This is the inevitable result of bad emotions.So how do women with low EQ control their emotions?

Women with impulsive personality should consciously train their emotional self-control ability in normal times.The so-called "a good word is warm in winter, and bad words hurt people in June" don't lose your mind because of the other party's provocation, and avoid attacking the other party with hurtful words. Some managers will test your emotional intelligence and test your self-control ability in these situations , so we must pay attention to restraint.

If you find that you can't calm down and face the people and things that cause your negative emotions calmly, then you can choose to leave the scene temporarily, or divert your attention to other people and things.Of course, the best way to deal with it is to actively improve the relationship with the other party and properly handle abnormal events. This is a mature performance, and repression and escape cannot solve the problem.As for impulsivity, it is the "devil" in people's hearts, so stay away from it.Also, you must always keep in mind: it is better to be angry than to be angry, and do not make any decisions when you are impulsive.

Of course, the calm attitude will gradually improve with the accumulation of life experience and social experience.

Right now, in the workplace, there are many examples of impulsive offending others that lead to the deterioration of interpersonal relationships. I hope that young women in the workplace can learn a lesson.In the workplace, control your anger and face all kinds of people and things calmly.

2.Dress for work, don't be too flamboyant

A woman's wardrobe will always lack one piece of clothing, and this mentality was brought to the extreme when she first entered the workplace.What to wear to be glamorous, add points to your beauty, and attract the attention of leaders?sweater?No, too casual!Ruffles?No, it's too gorgeous!Jeans, no, too informal!Just when you are crazy about your wardrobe, do you know that your dressing philosophy has gone into a misunderstanding.

This misunderstanding may directly affect your career destiny, and this misunderstanding is to shock the audience.Every woman has a dream of being a princess—I hope to make everyone breathless and amazed when they enter the venue.As a result, more and more women bite the bullet and go shopping in shopping malls to buy international famous brands to support themselves before entering the workforce.

If you are a female president, it is definitely okay to do this, because it can increase your aura.But if you are a rookie in the workplace or an ordinary employee, if you dress too ostentatiously, it will dissatisfy the "envious and jealous" female colleagues, and make the boring and frivolous male colleagues harbor bad intentions.

Liangliang very much agrees with the saying "A person depends on clothes, a Buddha depends on gold clothes", so she rushed to the mall immediately when she received the notice of employment.But after walking around the mall, she was frustrated that the right clothes were too expensive.She thought of going to a small foreign trade store to buy some A goods, but her new company is a Fortune [-] company, so it would be embarrassing to be recognized by others.After deliberation, Liangliang thought of borrowing.Her college friend Annie is a "rich second generation" with countless brand-name clothes and their bodies are about the same size.Annie heard about Liangliang's intentions, so she gave her the clothes she hadn't worn yet.

On the day of joining the company, Liangliang was wearing a pink Prada coat and carrying a Hermès bag, and came to the unit confidently.At the beginning, everyone seemed to have a good impression of her, and even a middle-level female leader said: "Your coat is so beautiful, it is a new model from Prada." When they got off work, the two exchanged some opinions on Prada clothes. Reluctantly parted.

Liangliang is full of expectations for her career prospects. Unexpectedly, she was fired before the probationary period was over. After thinking about it, she couldn't figure out what the problem was. Later, she found out the news.When the middle-level female told other leaders that the beautiful coat was worth 4 yuan and the bag was as high as 5 yuan, the leader said without hesitation: We cannot afford such high-end employees.

Why was Liangliang eliminated?It is because she dresses too much in the workplace.

Some women are wronged and feel that modern society is a cruel society. If you don't show off, others may not have an impression of you at all.But what women don't know is that there is a primacy effect in psychology-the impression left in the first interaction will often form and occupy a dominant position in the mind of the other party.In other words, if you dress flamboyantly in order to attract others' attention when you first meet, then the flamboyant clothes will become a label that cannot be torn off, sticking to you tightly.

No impression is better than bad impression, this is the philosophy of vanity women.However, if you want to have a good impression, all roads lead to Rome, why use the most stupid means - publicity?

If you know how to dress, you will have a future in the workplace, and if you know how to dress yourself, you will win the favor of your colleagues and bosses.So how should you dress and match as a female white-collar worker in the workplace?Please keep in mind the following workplace dressing bibles, so that you can quickly transform into a low-key fashionista.

[-]. It is an out-and-out fact to pay attention to the texture of clothing. The so-called texture refers to whether the cloth used in clothing, the tailoring process, and the shape and outline are excellent or not.Professional women must not ignore it when choosing a suit.

[-]. Excessively sexy or revealing clothing must not appear in the office. This will cause unnecessary troubles, such as male colleagues or bosses' unreasonable thoughts. Little chance of promotion.If you value your career or career-minded women, you must pay attention to this.

[-]. Suits are indeed the most suitable clothing for women at present, but overly fancy and exaggerated styles must be avoided; for extremely conservative styles, you should master how to accessorize and embellish them to avoid rigidity. Wearing them together is not only a modern trend, but also economical.

[-]. The lifestyles of modern professional women are very active, and they need to spend a lot of time on changing clothes. Therefore, knowing how to use ingenious decoration to avoid the problem of changing clothes is a skill that modern professional women must understand.

[-]. It is very suitable for professional women to wear suits, but any clothing that can express the demeanor of professional women is worth a try. Under certain rules, you can enjoy the fun of wearing it, and this is also the right of modern professional women.

[-]. Dressing now is about etiquette, and dressing up properly at the right time, place and place is something that modern women cannot ignore.Professional women must also pay attention to the overall dress from head to toe should also pay attention to the "overall beauty".

3.Talking in the workplace, don't be too inconspicuous
As a woman, you don't have to look pretty, but you must speak beautifully!Appropriate speech, pleasant voice, ingenious communication, and wonderful expression can all help women shine in life, and they are exquisite, graceful, and glamorous in the workplace!
A calm woman first has a good voice that touches people's hearts.If a woman speaks with knowledge and interest, and can express it with rich expressions and beautiful voices, unexpected results will be received.

Psychological research shows that 80% of a person's perception and impression of external things rely on vision, and 20% of the remaining 14% ​​rely on hearing.This is still in the face-to-face situation. If you answer the phone, because the two parties are not together, the effect of communication is completely done by voice, not to mention the importance of voice.

A beautiful voice has a direct charm, smart women should know how to control their own voice.We often see some good-looking, stylishly dressed women speak, but make men shake their heads, but those ordinary-looking women who speak neither fast nor slow, with cadences and cadences, can give people a more comfortable impression.

So, as a smart woman, if you want to make yourself more attractive, in addition to all external conditions, please pay attention to your voice.In addition, you also need to master the following workplace conversation etiquette.

[-]. Give each other full respect

Don't think that you can bluff just because you are a beautiful woman.Just like there are no two identical leaves in the world, people have different views on things. Communicating with people with a learning attitude is the basis of respect.Respect can maintain your good posture in communication, make the other party feel your sincerity and respectability, and allow people to show you to the deepest level of your heart.

[-]. The tone is full of caring
Speaking with love as the foundation, and expressing one's point of view from the perspective of caring will give people strength.We often make jokes like this. When a child makes a mistake, the parent beats the child violently in a rage, and even euphemistically says: "I am not doing it for you!", you can be sure that your child will Can you interpret your actions as his?If an employee has a problem, the leader will criticize it fiercely, and will add a final sentence: "This is for you to remember, and it is also for your own good!" But as for how your employees understand, no one can say for sure.

[-]. Opinions are right or wrong without judgment
One of the most common mistakes we make when speaking is to judge the other person's point of view in our own mind.In fact, it is difficult to say who is right and who is wrong when everyone has different views on different things. The reason for judging is that in our own minds, we have our own set of values ​​and methodologies for dealing with things and distinguishing right from wrong, but it cannot represent others, let alone cannot represent the truth.If you judge while listening, you will freeze the speaker in your heart, and it is inevitable that you will have emotions in the conversation, which will cause bad performance in words.

[-]. Try not to use negative words
Psychologists have found that not using negative words in communication will have a better effect than using negative words.Because using negative words creates a sense of command or criticism that makes your point clearly, but is not easily accepted.For example: "I don't agree with your business trip today." This sentence, we put it another way: "I hope you reconsider your idea of ​​going on a business trip today." The listener's feelings will change after a while.

[-]. It is more acceptable to express from another angle

Chinese is one of the most complex languages ​​in the world. This complexity also shows its richness and diversity. The same viewpoint can be expressed in many ways.For example, we want to say that a woman is fat.One way to say it: "You're really fat and need to lose weight." Another way to say it: "You must have been very thin once upon a time." , Which statement do you like, of course it is the second one.Therefore, when we want to express our views, we might as well think for three seconds, and perhaps generate more exciting and pleasing language.

[-]. Use your body language well
Body language refers to the various movements that each part of the body cooperates to express its point of view.Words, intonation, and body movements constitute an expression system for human communication. Only when all parts are perfectly coordinated can the best results be produced.Studies have shown that words, intonation, and body movements have different effects during communication. Words account for 7%, intonation 38%, and body movements (language) 55%.

For example, if we only look at the text "This is 100 million yuan", it may be difficult for you to make a correct judgment and not know what it means, but if you add tone and expression, it will be easy to understand what it wants to express.For example: when we say "this is 100 million yuan", we add a surprised expression and tone of voice, which will make people feel very sudden. If we add a very angry expression and tone of voice, it will cause a catastrophe feelings, so we need to pay attention to using our body language when expressing.

[-]. Hope is more effective than orders

Don't be bossy just because you are a female executive.Command language can create feelings of discrimination, disrespect, which can be demotivating and sometimes offensive.For example, "You must complete this work within five days." into "According to your ability, I believe you will achieve our goal within five days." It will be significantly improved, and developing the habit of assigning tasks or work in this way will not only not reduce your authority, but will even increase your charm.

[-]. Teach others to discuss matters as they stand
Talking about the facts is the most basic requirement, but many times when people speak, they will expand and deepen the meaning.For example, if a child accidentally breaks the cup while pouring water, the parents will sometimes say: "You are born to be a prodigal." Think about it, breaking a cup will define a person as a prodigal, which is not the same as "cultural disobedience". What is the difference between the "Great Revolution".It's better to put it another way: "It's okay, pay attention in the future, if you can pour water by yourself, it means that you are growing, and we are very happy." Remember, don't draw conclusions and conclusions for anyone.Things change, and people change too. Everyone has a good side, and everything has positive factors. We should discuss the facts as they stand, and not magnify ordinary problems.

(End of this chapter)