Calm women are the most elegant

Chapter 30 In social situations, maintain a calm and elegant image (1)
The world is full of colorful colors and infinite vitality because of women.With the development and progress of society, the content and scope of women's activities have expanded a lot.They are no longer just delicate flowers in the greenhouse. They have their own careers and pursuits, and at the same time, they are more actively involved in interpersonal communication and social activities.This presents a huge challenge for the modern woman:
How to establish a good image of women in society?
How to handle the intricate interpersonal relationship in communication?

How to deal with various communication situations?

This chapter will tell you how to establish a calm and elegant female image.

1.Be a positive energy buddy

There is no doubt that this is an era of excess pressure, an era of impetuous indifference.Under such a social background, everyone yearns for positive energy. Looking at the popularity and countless imitations of "Jiangnan Style" and "Little Apple" all over the world, you can know the desire for heart-warming power in the hearts of the world.Under a lot of pressure, a little simple happiness can bring people great satisfaction.

According to my research in various circles, in social situations, goddesses, rich people, cute girls, and little fresh meats are not necessarily so popular.And the "pistachio" with positive energy can always become a favorite.

Everyone has positive energy and negative energy. When you are sober, open-minded, rational, and calm, what you release is positive energy; when you are obsessed, narrow-minded, ignorant, and anxious, what you release is negative energy.What energy you release in your life is what you receive back.When you release the sunshine, you will get yearning.On the contrary, when you release the coldness, you get disgust in return.

Maybe we will not encounter such extreme situations in life, but in any case, we need positive energy to help ourselves get rid of many small and trivial troubles in life.In fact, everyone subconsciously prefers happiness to complaints. If you want to have positive energy and be a person who can make yourself happy and spread happiness, just take a look at the positive energy tutorial below.

[-]. Do what makes you happy

In the UK, the famous psychologist Richard Wiseman explained the role and value of positive energy from a psychological point of view.What's more interesting is that he proposed a very interesting way to have positive energy, that is, to do things that make yourself happy.

To find these joys, take a moment to write down a list of nine activities that make you feel good.The following questions can help you:

Do you like traveling, painting, photography, swimming or visiting museums?

If you were free one night, would you rather go to the movies, read a book at home, go to a show, or go to the theatre?

As a child, what did you like to do?

Are you a benevolent person?Would you like to work for a nonprofit, or find a place to volunteer?

Can you see the bright and interesting side of everything?
Do you like to play silly games or hang around?

If you find activities that make you feel good, tear off another blank sheet of paper and fill in each blank with an activity that makes you happy.Then, tear it into nine pieces along the dotted line, crumpling each piece into a paper ball.Finally, put all those paper balls in a box or bag.At the beginning of each week, randomly draw a paper ball, and in the next seven days, be sure to complete the activities written on the paper, and several other activities are optional.

[-]. Be good at discovering beauty and conveying beauty
Beauty is everywhere in life, and beauty is a kind of positive energy. We find that the transmission of beauty is to obtain and transmit positive energy.Focus your attention and gaze on the sunlight, not wallow in the shadows.Isn't there such a saying: the hillside is full of flowers, but in the eyes of cattle and sheep, they are just fodder.This shows that different horizons determine different things seen.Therefore, we must be a person whose eyes are full of flowers.

[-]. Tolerant and magnanimous, know how to forget
People with positive energy don't care about gains and losses and don't care about grievances, but they choose to be tolerant between gains and losses, and choose to forget amidst grievances.When we forget those unhappy things with tolerance and generosity, what we get is happiness.A happy person is a person with positive energy. When your happiness infects the people around you, it is passing your positive energy.

[-]. Inappropriate "Xianglin Wife"

You will find this kind of people in your life, they are particularly restless, their lives are always unfortunate, their self-digestion ability is very poor, and they complain, complain, nag, and blame everyone they see.Seeing who treats whom as an emotional trash can, nagging endlessly, without considering the other person's feelings at all.Such a person is the unpopular "Sister Xianglin".We must never be such a person, and don't complain when we meet friends.Although it is said that friends should share joys and sorrows, share sorrows and solve difficulties, but you still need to grasp the frequency and intensity, and you can’t always complain to your friends. Friends will not refuse to listen because of face, but they must be unhappy in the bottom of their hearts. Your bad mood has already affected them. life.Besides, those difficult and worrying things can't really be solved by talking about them. People who really care about you will only worry about you, and people who don't care about you will just look at you as a joke.Therefore, my consistent proposition is to improve my ability to digest bad emotions and be less of a "Xianglin wife".If you don't believe me, think about it, have you been talking about your good friend?

[-]. Avoid making friends with people with negative energy

A person's life is an energy-consuming process. If we do not control it artificially, our energy field will only weaken rather than strengthen.So in addition to constantly adding positive energy to yourself, absorbing positive energy from others is also an important way to supplement.

Everyone is full of energy. Healthy, positive and optimistic people have positive energy. When you associate with such people, you can receive positive energy, and you will feel happy and uplifting. This makes you feel that "living is a It’s a worthwhile, comfortable, and fun thing to do.”

But pessimistic, extreme, and desperate people are just the opposite. They are like black holes that constantly dissipate the positive emotions of people around them.If you have too many friends with such negative energy around you, it will be difficult to keep replenishing positive energy in time.Therefore, you should interact with them less.This not only protects themselves, but also gives them a chance for self-improvement.

2.In the circle of friends, don't be an "iron cock"

In interpersonal communication, you can't blindly take advantage of others.If you are just a recipient with an upward palm and you are an "iron cock" to others, then no matter how good the relationship is, people will eventually avoid you and alienate you.When building and maintaining a network of relationships, it is important to understand the importance of "reciprocity".

A girl in her twenties once wrote on WeChat:
Why am I unpopular, and everyone doesn't say hello when they see me?Don't you smile at me?

Why do I feel that some people in my life seem to have prejudices against me and have bad intentions?
Why did I become a rose with thorns in the eyes of others without knowing it?

……

This WeChat message triggered my thinking: Some women have a lot of relatives and friends in their lives. During the holidays, colleagues and sisters are invited to get together. When there is something, everyone will help; , They have very few friends, almost no confidant, and the communication between colleagues is even more indifferent. When something happens, they can only bear it by themselves and walk alone.

Everything has a cause and effect. Those who are alone are usually selfish people who only know how to ask but are not willing to give.And those who have many friends must be warm and generous to their friends.

When I was in college, I had a very good friend.In our circle, Bobo is the prettiest, smartest girl with the best family conditions.

The best thing about her is that she has read more books than us, such as "A Dream of Red Mansions", "Sun Tzu's Art of War", "The Complete Works of Zeng Guofan"... She has read them many times, and it can be said that she has learned a lot.She has read many books and has many thoughts. She is smarter than us vulgar fans.

However, it was her "smartness" that separated us.

Because her family conditions are better than the few of us, her food and clothing are high-end.She can use our stuff all she wants, and her stuff hates us moving it.

Maybe it's because we are afraid that we will take advantage of her. In terms of money, she and us are very clear, and we can't be careless.

She is also very protective of herself. Whenever she has troubles, she will talk to everyone and ask us to accompany her. When we have any difficulties and need her company, she will hide away.

Later, we all left her one by one, and no one could stand her selfishness.

Including the very powerful Obama who chased her, was also scared away by her "iron cock" foreign policy.

Different behaviors determine different living conditions.Only by opening your heart and reciprocating courtesy can you get along well with others and your life will be colorful.

However, although girls in their twenties are young and beautiful, some of them lack the wisdom of life.As a result, in their interpersonal relationships, they always hit the wall and hit the wall everywhere.Let women have to complain like this: In the company, I am glamorous, and everyone praises me, but I have no real confidant; in the eyes of my classmates, I have a swan-like demeanor, but they always reject me. Thousands of miles away; in the eyes of my peers, I am outstanding, but I feel that everyone does not really want to date me... The interpersonal relationship test question makes women feel a little bit at a loss.

Interpersonal relationship seems to be a complex and cumbersome test question, but in fact, as long as you grasp the root cause and find the mainstream, you can manage it well, and the key to it is sincere intercourse and heart-to-heart comparison.

First of all, you have to keep in mind that no one takes your kindness for granted except your parents.

No relationship in the world is taken for granted, including the love of our parents, which also has a time limit.No friend has an obligation to be nice to you endlessly.The idea that you only want to get something without paying for it is unreasonable in itself.

Second, learn to compare your heart with your heart.

Jesus' "golden rule" said: "Treat others as you want people to treat you." Strangers pay.If you can only enter but not out, after a long time, others will not let you "enter".

Again, stay away from selfishness.

Mencius said: "Whoever loves others will always love them; whoever respects others will always respect them." Therefore, we must pay attention to heart-to-heart communication when getting along with others. If you always consider your own interests and never consider others' feelings, then what you get It may be mostly the indifference and hypocrisy of others.Only those who know how to care about others, understand others, respect others, and leave enough room for others when doing things can achieve greater success in life.

Comparing your heart with your heart, knowing is easier than doing it. In fact, as long as you have more respect for your friends, more understanding for your colleagues, and more concern for your sisters, you will have more tolerance and understanding between people, and less care and suspicion.

Some people say: "Exchanging people's hearts for people's hearts" is a kind of emotional investment. If this kind of investment can be exchanged for mutual trust and friendship, isn't it worth it?

Finally, don't draw too hard boundaries with your friends.

Although the ancestors taught us that "brothers, settle accounts clearly" and "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water", there is no need to always sort out small things, small money and small profits with friends.That will inevitably make you look stingy, just remember that your friends are kind to you, and find time to "repay" them in the future.Of course, this cannot be generalized, everything has to proceed from reality, from your communication pattern and friendship considerations, it is better to distinguish clearly, or to be a little confused; whether it is better immediately or afterwards.

In fact, as long as you recognize your own shortcomings, improve your own shortcomings, and don't be so selfish and narrow-minded, you can also become a "social butterfly" with a lot of connections.

3.It's not so much to talk, it's more important to surprise everyone with words
Many women often feel at a loss for words when they are with friends or talking to strangers.So I complained and lamented that I was not born with a good eloquence, or complained that I was too timid.In fact, this kind of thinking is very one-sided. Look at those elegant women, they usually don't speak much, but they can definitely surprise everyone.Because they have connotations, they can always get their words to the point and touch people's hearts, arousing enough sense of identity.

Good eloquence is not born, nor is it enough to be brave enough. Who has ever seen an illiterate woman who can spit out lotus flowers?Good eloquence is based on sufficient background.Writing articles pays attention to "reading through thousands of volumes, and writing like a god".Speaking is actually the same as writing articles. Only when you have read a lot can you be able to speak witty, insightful, and persuasive words.

In other words, good eloquence is based on profound knowledge. If it is separated from this foundation, speech will become "water without a source", tasteless, and how can it persuade others?
Xiaoxia is a third-year student. Her favorite thing to do is to go to the library. She likes to read all kinds of books and study various subjects.Although she is a woman, she will not let go of political and military books that boys love to read.These books have greatly broadened her horizons and taught her a lot of knowledge, so she always speaks clearly and convincingly.Later, she represented the whole school in the debate competition held in the city and won the first prize.It can be seen that there are "goods" in the stomach, and the words spoken can be convincing.

If you have a bucket of water, it's easy to give someone a glass, but if you don't have water in your bucket, how can you give it to others?The same is true for speaking. First of all, you must have knowledge and connotation. Only in this way can you speak wonderful words.Although speaking requires certain skills, what is more important is the degree of knowledge that a person has mastered. As the saying goes, "there is a poetic spirit in one's belly".If the knowledge is not broad enough, no matter how good the eloquence is and how many skills you have mastered, you will not be able to convince others.

Back then, Zhuge Liang studied hard behind closed doors in Longzhong, and once he came out of the mountain, he was able to compete with all Confucians with his tongue. I believe that Zhuge Liang did not specifically learn how to debate. All this relied on his decades of hard study.

Meticulous thinking, humorous and witty answers, and accurate expressions all undoubtedly come from the extensive knowledge in the mind, and that kind of extravagant rhetoric is just talk on paper.

So, how can women improve their connotation?For a woman to have connotation, she must first have a background, which is obtained through cultural accomplishment.Specifically, more efforts should be made in the following aspects:
[-]. Keep up with fashion and grasp the pulse of the times

Fashionably dressed women can always give people a sense of beauty, but if a woman is dressed in fashion but speaks words and topics from the last century, she can only be called a "old hat".Therefore, women should not only be fashion spokespersons in clothing, but also update their knowledge at any time and closely follow the development of the times.

[-]. Read more newspapers and news

It seems that most of the people who like to read newspapers and news are men, and as women, they cannot escape those political events that seem to have nothing to do with them.Unless you don't talk, people can see your superficiality when you open your mouth.

[-]. Pay attention to life and strengthen life accumulation
Many women fail to resonate with others when they talk to them.That's because she lacked the accumulation of life, and she said some ungrounded words.Therefore, if you want to have good eloquence, you need to strengthen your life accumulation.Knowledge, experience, emotion, and life can enrich a woman's heart. These "nutrients" are the source, infiltrating a woman's appearance through blood vessels and meridians, and improving her taste and connotation.

4.Speak beautiful language with an elegant mouth
It is not difficult to find beautiful women in life.They have exquisite makeup, graceful postures, looking forward to flying, walking on the street, people can't help but look back.Unexpectedly, whenever something went wrong, the beautiful woman began to complain, her mouth was full of vulgarity, and her voice was loud, which was very disappointing.And elegant women, they may not have a beautiful appearance, nor a graceful figure, but they have a gentle smile, a quiet temperament, a good conversation, and a beautiful quality, which makes people willing to get close to them and love them wide open.

(End of this chapter)