A Wave Of Desire

~~

Ocean

~~

"I understood exactly what it all meant." Ben was not holding anything back now. He had opened the dam and it was all flooding out.

"No, you don't! You don't get it at all." Ryan was sounding angry again, just like last time. Only this time, it sounded like he was angry for a different reason.

"Then what, Ryan, what did you mean by all of that? If you don't hate the sight of me, if you're not appalled by me, then what? What kept you away from me all week? Why can't we even be friends anymore?"

Ben was huffing, his breathing heaving and irregular after he yelled at Ryan. I think that he needed to vent some of those feelings and get them off of his chest. He had been holding them all this entire time. If he didn't vent them some time, then he was likely to explode at the wrong time at the wrong person. At least the object of his frustrations was here right now so he could point them in the right direction while venting right now.

"If I misunderstood what all of that meant, then what did it all truly mean? Tell me Ryan! Tell me what I am supposed to think. What do you want me to believe here?"

"I want you to believe that I love you too, dammit!"

Well, now that was unexpected. After I had talked to Ryan on the beach things hadn't looked very hopeful for Ben. I hadn't expected that Ryan would come to this conclusion. I wonder what had actually happened?

Looking across the living room, I saw that both Ben and Makai had been thinking the same thing as me. Maybe not about the beach, but about Ryan.

"That is a nice little lie, Ryan, but I don't believe you." Ben crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You don't need to push yourself or lie to me. Just cut me out of your life, that is the best option that there is for us."

"NO!" Ryan yelled at him. "I don't want to cut you out of my life, Ben. I can't live without you. That is what I have been telling myself this entire week. The entire time that we have been apart I have been miserable. I didn't understand what it was that I was feeling at first, but it's true. I can't survive without seeing you every day."

"Stop it." Ben was shaking his head. "Stop giving me false hope." He took another step away when Ryan stepped toward him again.

"It's true." The pleading note in Ryan's voice already had me convinced. Though I can also understand what it was that Ben was feeling. He didn't think that Ryan was being serious. He thought he was just trying to get his friend back, not gain a lover.

"No. Stop it. Stop it, Ryan, please. I can't handle you saying that only to take it away from me later." Ben was clearly brokenhearted. He didn't want to hear what Ryan had to say because if it really wasn't true then he would be completely destroyed.

"Ben?"

With a suddenness that I had not expected, Ryan sped across the living room and backed Ben up against the wall. Ryan had placed his hands on the wall next to Ben's shoulders while Ben put his hands against Ryan's chest, intent to hold him off.

"Why won't you believe me?" There were tears in Ryan's eyes and his voice was shaking.

"Why should I believe you?" The expression on Ben's face looked nearly identical to the one on Ryan's, with tears in his eyes and even his voice shaking.

"I had to think, Ben. That was all. I needed to think things through and figure them out on my own. And what I discovered was that you mean more to mean than anyone or anything in my entire life. I can't live without you. It took being away from you to understand that I actually am in love with you. Not having you there with me every day, not seeing you first thing in the morning before school, not talking to you, all of that was torture to me. And it wasn't like I lost my best friend. It was like I lost my lover. I never saw you like that before but it's true. I am in love with you, Ben. I don't know how to be in love with you but I am. I don't want to spend another minute away from you. I don't want to fight with you anymore, I want you back. I need you. Please!"

There was pure shock on Ben's face. That had not been a speech he was prepared to hear. He hadn't known that this was going to happen, and he hadn't expected that Ryan to ever feel that way.

"I..I just don't know how I am supposed to trust you." I knew that Ben wanted to cry right now, but he was holding it in. "How can I believe this?"

"Will you believe this?"

Just as Ryan said that he moved his hand from the wall and placed it on Ben's chin. He tilted the shocked face of my friend back and angled him to be in the perfect position for a kiss. Both Makai and I gasped in shock when Ryan pressed his lips against Ben's.

Ben seemed to be in too much shock to move at the moment. He was just standing there, his hands clutching loosely at Ryan's shirt while he was kissed passionately and intensely. It was clear to me that none of us expected that Ryan would do that. I was glad that he did, though. I was glad that he came to terms with what he was feeling and how Ben felt. This was a positive step for them. This was definitely the best possible outcome in my mind.

"R..R..Ryan?" After the kiss had been broken and Ryan pulled away to look into Ben's eyes, Ben gasped and stuttered out that one word.

"Can you believe me now?" Ryan was smiling now, happy to have been reunited with Ben.

"I..I..I want to." It seemed like Ben still wasn't sure of what was going on.

"Please, Ben, please believe that I am serious. I love you. I really love you. And I am sorry that I was such an idiot. Please, give me another chance. Give me the chance to learn how to love you the way that you deserve. Please, Ben."

There were no words. Not from Ben, not from me, and not from Makai. All of us were stunned into silence.

"I..I..I-." While Ben was stuttering, the doorbell rang again.

"Ahem. I am sorry about that. It appears the pizza guy is here. Uh, uhm, R..Ryan, would you like to join us for dinner?" Even Makai was a bit of a stuttering mess now. That was cute to see.

"If Ben wants me to, then I would love to join him for dinner." I could see the happy smirk that was on Ryan's face. He wanted Ben to be the one to ask him.

"W..will you j..join me for d..d..dinner, Ryan?" He stuttered out the words as he blushed.

"Is this going to be considered our first date?" Ryan smiled even wider.

"WHAT?" Ben nearly shrieked right as Makai opened the front door.

"What the hell?" I heard the pizza guy exclaim in surprise.

"Sorry about that." Makai handed over some money and took the boxes. "Have a good night." He didn't even wait for him to respond before shutting the door. "Come on, let's eat."

"Great. I get to have a date with my new boyfriend." At that, Ryan took Ben's hand and dragged him toward the loveseat so that he could sit with Ben.

"What the hell is going on here?" Ben was confused but still very happy.

Well, it looked like things had finally worked out for them. I was happy for them, I really was. And now none of us had to hide anything from each other. Well, aside from the fact that Makai was a Merman and I was a Siren, that we still had to hide. But we didn't have to hide our relationships. That was a good thing at least. And a relief too.

The four of us ate together and talked about random things. Makai, Ben, and I grilled Ryan about what he had been thinking about and feeling that week. I admit that we also laughed a lot about the things that he said and did. And the shade of red that Ben and Ryan turned while we talked made me feel a little better. Usually, I was the one that ended up blushing all the time. It was good to see that others could blush just as easily.

When the night was winding down and it was getting late, Ryan asked if he could spend the night at our place with Ben. That made me raise a brow, I didn't think that he would be ready for something like that given that he had been 'straight' until just recently. Then again, he and Ben had been having sleepovers since they were five. It's not like they hadn't slept in the same bed dozens of times before. Though, based off the new shade of red that Ben's face had turned, I could tell that it would mean something different to the both of them now that they were 'dating'. I just hoped that they were both ready for what was to come. 

Regardless, Makai told them that it was fine and showed them to a guest room that they could use. I silently wished them luck just a moment before Makai took my hand and pulled me down the hall toward our room.. It was time for the two of us to be alone together too.