Hammer 40k: Far East Storm

Chapter 38 Roland's Fear (1/2)

You must choose a trustworthy person, and it is not easy to complete the job just relying on resumes and written documents.

Li read every resume carefully, not missing every word or character. He tried to understand those people through the words on the paper and the small black and white photos.

After reading the thick resumes, Li selected three people he thought were suitable. Of course, things couldn't be finished at this point. He had to find time to visit these three captains in person.

At this moment, the door was opened again. Li raised his head and saw Roland waddling into the hall. His clothes were messy and his blond hair was as messy as a bird's nest. Before Roland could get closer, , Li smelled the smell of alcohol coming towards him.

Li frowned: "Drunk?"

"No, hiccup..." Roland hiccupped, then took a long breath, and then he calmed down and said, "Drunk? How dare I."

"You're just going to leave your group leader and go drink alone?" Li was very dissatisfied with this: "You won't bring me some, either?"

"Don't you have to work? Even if I give it to you, you can't drink it."

"Alas..." Li sighed. He was very unwilling, but there was nothing he could do about it. There were too many things during this period. Jacob had a full schedule and wished he could miss every second. To use, in this case Li had no time to drink and enjoy.

In his previous life, Li had a wide range of hobbies, but as a citizen of a flower-growing empire, his favorite thing was "good wine and food". Few people living in the flower-growing empire could clearly feel this, but when he went abroad, this can be clearly reflected. To put it bluntly, the food culture of the "Flower Empire" is at least a hundred years ahead of the global culture of that world. People who are used to eating "Flower Empire" will find it difficult to get used to other diets. This is the case for Li. After waking up in this world, he has never eaten a decent meal. He has completely realized the truth that "eating is just for living, and living is for the emperor."

Moreover, focusing too much on pleasure will be regarded as a symbol of corruption. After all, Li's body was cursed by Slaanesh, the god of pleasure and corruption, and the Inquisition also showed great interest in him. Li had to be careful at times like this.

I hope that this situation will be better after leaving the center of the empire. At least I will have the opportunity to enjoy delicious food without worrying about being caught and burned to death by fanatics for having fun. Li thought this, and then he felt a deep sympathy for Roland in front of him, this poor young man. "The results of the genetic test have come out," Li said in an almost sad tone: "Your genes are basically consistent. It is expected that there will be no rejection reaction and you can undergo surgery."

"Really?" Roland jumped up in surprise, and then walked around excitedly in front of Li, "I can't believe that I was able to pass so smoothly, haha, I knew I could do it, this is amazing That’s great!”

"I couldn't believe it at first. After all, there are very few Space Marines who have ever belonged to the Young Master." Generally speaking, the sources of Space Marines come from the barbaric world, where the barbarians are more innocent in character. Due to the natural environment, their physiques are also stronger than ordinary people. "It's a miracle that you passed, but do you really want to do this? To be honest, I think becoming a Space Marine is a bit cruel for you."

"Cruel? How could it be?"

"How is that possible? You don't completely believe the empire's propaganda agency, do you? In their mouths, the Space Marines are angels descending from the sky, and the Imperial Guard are the most heroic warriors. Our warriors will always march on the golden road. We only get victory and honor. These are all bullshit. The Imperial Guard is pure cannon fodder. Their soldiers are at the bottom of the food chain in the universe, and none of our Space Marines are human. "

"All, all are not human?"

"Before you become a Space Marine, you need to swear an oath. In the oath, you will give up all your life as a 'human'. After the oath, you will fight to protect all mankind for the rest of your life. You will Of course you will become stronger after being transformed into a perfect warrior, but there are some aspects that they deliberately ignored. First of all, you will no longer feel fear after the transformation is completed. From a certain perspective, this kind of thing is very scary. , as one of the human emotions, your fear will be suppressed to a limit, and you will never feel that kind of thing in your lifetime, and your skin color, hair color, etc. will also be changed.”

"Fear can only make people weak. It's best to lose this kind of thing. And things like skin color and hair color are not a problem anymore."

"Idiot, every human emotion is very important, forget it, I can't explain it to you," Li shook his head and continued: "And one more thing, after the transformation is completed, you will no longer need a woman. "

"Hiccup!" Roland burped, then froze, staring at Li, as if he wanted to see if his commander was joking. After a long time, he asked in a slightly panic: "No, no. Need a woman again? They will take me..." He made a cutting gesture with his hand on his crotch.

"Don't worry, I won't castrate you." Li smiled: "But you will become less interested in that kind of thing. Of course, you can still want to do it, but it won't be as interesting as before."

"Becoming sexually frigid?"

"Although it is a little different from frigidity, the actual effect is not much different." Although he understood that it was inhumane to do so, Li also understood that there was actually nothing he could do about it. For any army, "How to properly solve the physiological problems of male soldiers?" This headache is something that officers need to face. In ancient Rome, military officers promoted love between men, so that soldiers could help each other solve physical problems and improve their combat effectiveness by fighting side by side with their lovers on the battlefield. It's disgusting, but it's a neat trick. In other places, officers procured military prostitutes for their soldiers, or simply allowed the rape of civilians in times of war.

Of course, you can also rely on discipline to suppress it, but as the ancient sages of the "Flower Planting Empire" said, food and sex are also factors. Appetite, as well as the physiological desire that men have for women, are just human nature. Relying on discipline can only suppress them for a while, but it is difficult to last long.

For the space warriors galloping between the stars, this problem becomes more complicated. The journey between the stars is often very long, and being in a cramped space for a long time is also a heavy burden on the human spirit. The tension before the war, the mental burden, and the repressed nature. All these things accumulate and ferment over a period of time, which often makes people lose their minds. Soldiers need a channel to vent. But you can’t take a woman into the universe, right?

Therefore, the easiest way is to weaken these soldiers' desire for women, so that there will be no problem.

"You have to abandon all normal human pleasures and life. How about that? Can you accept it?"

Roland gritted his teeth, nodded cruelly and said, "I can! I have decided that I want to become a member of the Space Marines, I want to leave here, and I want to fight."

"I really don't understand what you think. Instead of enjoying a good life, you want to abandon a comfortable life to fight." Li sighed, "You can't really do it to make your life more valuable, right? You are a son of a noble family."

Roland looked around drunkenly, as if he was guarding against something, then he leaned close to Li's ear and whispered: "I'm scared, I want to leave here, I'm scared."

Li frowned and leaned back. He was not used to a man being so close to him, "What are you afraid of?"

"I was scared, so I didn't dare to say it, but it doesn't matter now," Roland's voice was full of excitement, "But it's different now, I don't have to be afraid anymore, I want to become a member of the Star Wars, Star Wars Warriors are fearless. I want to leave this place, stay away from all kinds of creatures, say what I want to say freely, and finally die happily on the battlefield. I want to stand up straight, without fear of any fear. Become stronger!”

"Yes, Space Marines are fearless." Li nodded and said, "But what are you afraid of?"

"Everything, everything here." Roland made an exaggerated gesture and left Li's side. He retreated, fell on the sofa, and recited in a low voice: " Every breath of air is full of doubts, every look at you is full of inquiry, the streets and alleys are full of electronic eyes, and surveillance is everywhere, even if I drink, I don’t dare to drink. Drunk, because no one can believe that the world is full of informers and betrayers, just for the meager reward. It is an invisible pressure. They are like ghosts, you can't see or touch them, but they do exist. , they put pressure on their thoughts, and almost no one dares to tell the truth.”

"I don't quite understand, what are you talking about?"

"Thought police, people from the Church, people from the Inquisition, people from the Sisters, these people not only rule the country, they also try to rule people's thoughts. They are the thought police. Did you know that phone lines can be tapped? Thoughts No one knows how often the police pick up someone's route, or according to what arrangement. It is even conceivable that they are monitoring everyone from beginning to end, no matter what time it is. If they are happy, they can connect to your line. You can only live under this assumption. Starting from a habit that has become instinctive, you have already lived like this, and you have already been accustomed to being greeted by a pair of hostile eyes every moment. Staring, every word was recorded for later review.”

Li scratched his head. He had heard of this kind of thing in another world, but had never seen it before. "Is it so exaggerated?"

"Is it such an exaggeration? Ha," Roland sat up and said seriously: "Did you know? I have a friend, a guy from a remote galaxy. He is a good young man. His family is rich, he is generous, and he is energetic. It was like a ball of fire. Then one time when he was drunk, he said the wrong thing."

"Oh, what did he say?"

Roland shook for a moment and said in a voice that sounded like a horror story: "He said, 'The emperor created the universe, what the hell, those women are simply crazy.' Ha, he is simply crazy, and he dares to do it in public In this way, you can't imagine the scene at that time, it was simply terrible. The hot noise all stopped in an instant, the laughter of the laughing people stopped suddenly, the people who whispered stopped talking, and the friends who sang stopped. After stopping, all my friends were stunned, no one even dared to move, as if time had frozen at that moment, and then fear spread in this stagnant space. After that, everyone dispersed. I have been uneasy, I am scared, but I am also lucky, I hope those people don’t know about this, and I really hope my friend is okay.”

Roland stared at the floor blankly, seeming to recall his former friend. After a while, he continued: "But they knew. Three days later, my friend disappeared, and no one knew where he was. When he got there, no one knew what happened to him. He just disappeared from this world with a "swish", no, he didn't even make a sound. He just evaporated and no one mentioned him again, my friend. The gathering was still joyful, and everyone seemed to have forgotten this person, as if he had just disappeared without any trace. "

"Obviously, someone snitched, someone I called a friend, someone I could laugh and drink with openly, someone betrayed someone, someone betrayed a friend. But I don't know who he was. , everyone is suspected, anyone may be an informer, maybe the informer is not just one person, everyone may be an informer, maybe the informing itself is not a betrayal, but a kind of loyalty. Loyalty to the Empire, but I know deep down that this is betrayal, a shameless betrayal, and that there is a shameless man who deserves to be betrayed."

Li sighed and said nothing.

But Roland was not over. Li's news seemed to provide him with a kind of protection, and something that was weighing on his spirit just disappeared. He was filled with excitement and spoke freely: "There is no trial, no regulations, not even arrests. There is nothing, they don't tell you what you can and cannot say; they don't tell you what you can and cannot do. It's like there is a transparent wall in the air, there is something unexplainable. The power is standing there. You can't see or touch it, but you can clearly feel it. Yes, everyone can clearly feel the existence of that power. That transparent wall will not stop you, but When you cross over, the power will appear silently, and you will disappear from the world. "

It is the invisible terror that spreads in the air. This fear also exists in everyone's heart. It is a silent and hidden fear. Li understood that he didn't need words for this kind of thing, just listening.

"But, damn it, I know my friend is right. He's not just a rich and generous young man, he's also an excellent and rigorous historian. You know what? I've been dreaming about him lately. Dreams He said those meaningful and thought-provoking words to me. Only now, when I think about it carefully, do I realize what an excellent person he is. He never lies, and most of his words are the result of careful consideration. Even when he is drunk, he never talks nonsense. But even if he is nothing, we still know that the saying is not true, "When the emperor comes out, he will live in the world." Do you really think we are fools? "

When the emperor comes out, he gives birth to the world. This is a prayer commonly used by the Sisters. Its general meaning is that first there was an emperor in the universe, and then there was the universe. If there is no emperor, then there is nothing in the universe.

Of course, what he really means is that without the Emperor, this universe would be nothing to us. Only after having the emperor did humans own this universe. But missionaries in many places prefer to use its literal meaning. They like to describe the emperor as an omnipotent creator in front of believers. Even the entire galaxy was created by the emperor.

"On a certain level, they don't need to make up elaborate lies," Li sighed: "The truth is not important, because the bigger the lie, the greater their power and the greater the fear in people's hearts. But this is just a prayer, your reaction is a bit excessive. "

"Am I overreacting? No, not at all. Although this matter is not big, it just shows their intention. What is the purpose of them repeating the prayer again and again? In the countless repetitions, they first coaxed myself, and then try to trick others, different thoughts will be unified, opposing thoughts will disappear, and those with reactionary thoughts will be evaporated. I am afraid, I am really afraid! I don’t want to be unified, I don't want to be evaporated. Sometimes I wish I was really a fool so that I could think about nothing. But I can't stop thinking. My thoughts are like wild horses running wild because of fear. My thoughts have committed a big crime. , I actually secretly agreed with that guy’s statement. What’s even more frightening is that thought crimes cannot be hidden for a long time. You may be able to hide for a while, or even for a few years, but they will definitely catch you sooner or later.”

"You don't have to be afraid now. Astarte is fearless." Li patted Roland on the shoulder and said comfortingly: "Have a good sleep. Go to Jacob tomorrow. He will take you to perform preliminary rituals and operations."

Roland was stunned for a moment, then closed his eyes in relaxation, "Yes, Astarte is fearless. I am also a monk of Astarte." After a while, a slight snoring sound was heard on the sofa.

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