He/Heroine And My Villainess

HE/HEROINE AND MY VILLAINESS

(THIS QUESTION IS FOR YOU AND ME) 

She was holding a bed tray table with a light snack and jasmine tea. 

"Mary, are you done with your errands?" Yerre welcomes her inside as they go over to the guest room inside Lady Vendia's chambers.

Mary put down the food she brought one by one to the table, arranging everything first on the table before she replied to Yerre. After that, she then stood straight on the floor and replied with a smile. 

"Yes, miss." 

Yerre nodded and went to sit on the couch. She invited Mary to sit down on the other side of the couch, and together they had a relaxing time in the guest room. 

"Ever since Sir Aloit left the Marquis residence, you and I haven't spent lots of time together," Yerre mentions, which made Mary look at the floor as she wore an inspirited expression. 

"Your right miss. I'm sorry, I just don't like to see other people replace the job that Sir Aloit should have had. I'm not used to it, "Mary replied. 

Ever since Sir Aloit left for the Astrod kingdom, Mary had been absent from her side. She always made herself busy with lots of work at the mansion and she only had a few minutes to spend with Yerre. But all of this has a reason. She kept herself away from her because she did not want to see the new knight who replaced Sir Aloit. It made her uncomfortable and angry with herself. 

She still blames herself for the mistake she made, even though everyone had already told her that it was fine and it was okay. But for her, it is still not okay and fine. Mary sighed and continued talking. 

"To tell you the truth, miss, I still blame myself for the mistake I made. If only I did the job better, Sir Aloit would be still here with us, tailing you wherever you go and protecting you. " Mary said, confessing all the feelings she had felt for the past few days. Yerre sipped the tea into her cup and put it back on the table as she looked at Mary with a warm smile. 

"It is good that you finally opened up your feelings to me. To be honest, I also wanted to consult you the other day, but then I stopped myself upon thinking that maybe you just need some time alone to yourself. " Yerre replied as she continued speaking out her side to Mary.

"To tell you the truth, I am having a hard time adjusting to this new arrangement in our lives too. But I must accept it and must still continue striving to live even if things change sometimes, because in life, things are not always in order. You have to experience some changes that might change the way you see things. To see what new things have opened up for you, " 

Mary looked at her perplexed. She did not understand what Yerre had just said. So she asks for clarity. 

"What do you mean by that, miss?" 

Yerre took her cup of jasmine tea to the table and replied without looking at her. 

"It means that everything in life sometimes needs changing. No matter how scary and unfair it was, you have to embrace it. Because you will never know, this might be the thing you are waiting for to answer all your questions and find what you have long lost, "Yerre sighed, sipping her tea and once again speaking out her thoughts to Mary. 

"I'm becoming a philosophic person as months pass by here. It's cool, "she mentions, which made Mary smile.

"Thank you miss. I will find a way to adjust, but for now, I need to find a way to forgive myself first, "Mary replied. 

"Don't worry, I will wait for you to come out of that shell. Take things slowly, don't rush it okay? " Yerre responded and she nodded. Mary stayed in Lady Vendia's room for thirty minutes when she heard Sir Lay's voice outside calling for Yerre. She then bid her good bye. 

"I must go now, miss. Have a great day, " 

Yerre nods and escorts Mary out to the guest room. Sir Lay opens the door and Mary leaves the room in haste, passing through Sir Lay as if she had never seen a person in front of her. Yerre saw that Sir Lay looked at Mary when she went out and wanted to greet her, but she just passed through him like he was never there. Sir Lay couldn't help but think if he had done something wrong, and this made Yerre sigh in distress. 

"Sir Lay, come join me having tea in my guest room," 

Sir Lay looked at her, jolted awake from his thoughts, and nodded.

The two of them then stride towards the guest room and sat in separate chairs facing each other. They continue having a silent and comfortable time together while sipping tea in their respective cups until evening comes. Sir Lay excused himself after a while and went to a place that no one knew about. 

After Sir Lay left, Yerre went over to her art studio and opened the painting she got from the Prince Albert store. When she opened it, Yerre saw Vendia's face. Prince Albert painted her. Yerre caresses the painting into the canvas. Prince Albert painted Vendia perfectly. She was wearing a summer dress while smiling brightly and surrounded by many violet flowers. She was so beautiful. Inside the painting, she was like an innocent girl who had not experienced hardships in life. 

Yerre felt happy for Vendia and jealous. She was happy because finally someone cherished Vendia as a person, and she was jealous because she was not the girl in the painting. It was Vendia. She felt complicated again inside her heart. She knows that she is inside Vendia's body and that Vendia has already given this body to her, but why can't she feel satisfied and happy about it?

Sometimes the thought of it will go away, but when months pass, she will again be reminded that this was not her body, that this image she saw everyday in the mirror was not her but Vendia. Yerre looked at the painting again and said. 

"This is me, but then this is not me. Vendia gave this body to me, but I can't help but still feel something wrong about it. I don't see myself in it. All I see is Vendia and my soul inside of it. But I don't see my reflection outside of it, "but I don't see my reflection outside of it," but I don't see my reflection outside of it, "but I don't see my reflection outside of it, "but I don't see my reflection outside of it, "but I don't see my reflection outside of it, "but I don't see my reflection outside of it, "but I don't see my reflection outside of it, "

Yerre put the painting to the side and sat on the ground hugging herself as she felt a surprise of emotions rushing into her body. Her heart started to feel heavy and her confused emotions started to enter. Her eyes started to mist and her body started to shiver, not from fever or anger, but from fear. A fear that someday she will lose the image of herself, that she will forget all that she has learned from their world and that she will forget the people who love her back to their world. 

Tears started to conquer her eyes and the fear started to eat her emotions. Yerre bawled on the floor, feeling afraid and confused. Then a sudden realization comes to her. 

"I didn't want this. I didn't want to be inside this book. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to be inside someone's body. I didn't want all of this. I want to go home. I want to go back home with my girlfriend. I want to visit my mother's grave. I want to see my cousin and my mother's older sister. I want to go back home with Alda. I want to go back. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home. I want to go back home," 

Anxiety, fear and distress continue to eat up all her emotions as she keeps crying and saying words. 'I want to go back home,' all over again, like she wants someone to hear her and bring her back to their world immediately. Yerre doesn't know what happened, why she felt such emotions out of the blue.

Was it because of the painting that Prince Albert made for her? Or was it because of Mary? Or was it because Sir Aloit was not here to accompany her anymore? Or was she just feeling lonely all this time and that she just kept avoiding it because she did not want the people around her to be affected by the heavy loneliness she felt?

Yerre continued bawling on the floor and finally admitted it. 

"I'm lonely. I'm afraid and I miss all the people I used to know before I ended up here. I miss the scenery and I miss everything. I just... I just want to go back home with Alda, " 

She says those words wholeheartedly, but she can't say them out loud to Alda because she is afraid that if she says those words out loud, Alda will do something dangerous again to find a way for them to get back to their world. But, she knew it was already impossible because she was certain that their bodies had already been planted on the ground and had become part of the soil. 

To be continued.