I’m Really a Superstar

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"Wow, not bad!"

"What is good?"

"What is Zhang Xiao's cross talk?"

"You really look at it? Isn't it boring?"

"Just just opening, still the taste of the past! Laughing all the way!"

"Really? Rely, let me go and see!"

"Look, I was almost cheated by the blacks! Who said it is not good?"

"It’s still familiar Zhang Huan, just see how they say it!"

Some people in the comic field are scoffing.

There is a disciple of Tang Dazhang commenting: "The evening meeting, the jargon is difficult to say on the 'fan', is to see the artistry and integrity, not to see whether one or two bags are shaking, even if you are all Baggage and jokes, there is nothing that makes people reflect on the whole, it is also called failure!"

A comic actor replied, "Yeah, so the party talks are not good!"

Another apprentice of Master Xu who had been smashed by Zhang: "Zhang Wei is selling his little smart now. When it comes to testing the art of cross talk, he will not be able to do it. If you don't believe it, look down. The cross-talking works that are spelled out will only become more and more scattered, without a theme of performance."

Professionals are still very accurate. In the past, the theme of Zhang Huan’s cross talks was actually a monk, or a line of singer-sounding circles, or a refutation of the anti-three popular topics. Although people in the cross-talking world don’t like to hear, let’s be honest, this The works are still established. At least the line is clear. It is a complete work. But if it is just a thing that is pieced together by the east and the west, can it be called cross talk, let alone a higher party comic dialogue?

......

Beijing Spring Festival Evening scene.

The cross talk continues.

Yao Jiancai: "I have to be very ten thousand? I am too much! You praise me?"

Zhang Wei: "I mean, this is not a room for improvement."

Yao Jiancai: "You have to take a break. You will start to step on me when you are over the age. Before you go to the stage, people can say that they are saying, "All is good," how do you say the farther and farther?"

Zhang Wei looked around. "Who is all right?"

Yao Jiancai: "Oh! Audience!"

Zhang snorted. "That is everything you are doing, I am not good!"

The audience is happy, Teacher Zhang is stunned?

Yao Jiancai cares: "Hey, what happened to the New Year? Is this all the time?"

Zhang Yiyi scored, "You see that you are holding me today, in fact, I can't do it before."

Yao Jiancai: "Hey, this is not the time when anyone can't."

Zhang Wei: "Before I talked to the host, I didn't even have a stable job."

Yao Jiancai: "Is it?"

Zhang Weidao: "I just graduated from college and went out to find a job."

Yao Jiancai: "All the same."

Zhang Wei: "I have a dream since I was a child. I want to be a football player."

Yao Jiancai looked at him, "Yes."

Zhang Wei: "I went to sign up at the time. As a result, the coach of the team saw me like this. He said that I was more than 14 thousand times stronger than last year's world footballer Paang!"

Yao Jiancai was surprised: "Hey, that is a genius!"

Zhang Wei: "Then he said, there are only two things that hinder my development."

Yao Jiancai said strangely: "Which two?"

Zhang Wei: "Left and right legs."

When the audience heard this, they all laughed crazy!

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Left and right legs?"

"Hey, let me go!"

"This is too **** your mother!"

"What did Zhang Lan think? Hahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai vomits blood, "Hey, then you are not doing this!"

Zhang Wei said: "I hate it too. I didn't play football. I went to a private company to apply. I voted for a resume and went to the interview. The examiner was not looking at me, saying, 'Give you a minute. Time reminds me of you."

Yao Jiancai smiled and said: "Yes, a lot of interviews say so."

Zhang Wei: "I thought about it. I walked over and gave him a big mouth when I was rounded! Then I turned and ran!" </>

Yao Jiancai was shocked. "Hey, that's really remembering you!"

Big mouth? ?

The audience on the scene has already turned forward!

Zhang Wei: "The result was that my interview was passed. My forefoot was just out of the company. The phone call came from the back foot. The man said, 'Please be sure to come to the company right now.'"

Yao Jiancai: "Hey."

Zhang Wei: "I thought for a long time, didn't dare to go!"

Yao Jiancai smiled and said: "You should not go."

Audience: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Zhang Wei gasped and said: "I hate, I went into the toilet on the side of the road. I washed my face and said to me in the mirror." Zhang Hao, you have to be strong, you can’t beat you so hard, come on. ,adhere to'!"

Yao Jiancai nodded. "You can't be discouraged."

Zhang Wei: "After I cheered on myself, I felt a little calmer. I came out from the toilet. I saw a man coming out of the toilet door."

Having said that, Zhang Hao looked back in horror.

Yao Jiancai stunned, "Ah? You stayed with the women's toilet for a long time?"

Some viewers have burst into tears!

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"babble!!"

"Laughter is dead!"

The host of the Spring Festival Evening in the other side is also laughing!

Dong Shanshan’s mouth is full of joy!

Zhang Wei busy said: "I rushed!"

Yao Jiancai: "I have to run."

Zhang Wei: "There are a bunch of big old ladies in the toilet chasing me. The one who is heading also shouted ‘catch him, and he, with the women’s toilet, scared me to dare to come out!’

Yao Jian was happy: "You are unlucky enough."

Zhang Wei said: "I don't think I can do this. I have to work. I have to make money. What do I want to make money? You have to spend money first."

Yao Jiancai shook his head: "Hey, give a gift?"

Zhang Wei: "A lot of money was spent. I finally became an official state-owned enterprise employee and went to work in Beijing."

Yao Jiancai: "Yes?"

Zhang Hao said with joy: "We have a good job, and we don't have to work every day. The head of the gift that I gave gifts often takes us out to eat. Seven or eight people, each time is a big table."

Yao Jiancai: "What kind of food?"

Zhang Wei: "Yes, steamed lamb steamed bear palm steamed deer tail burned flowers duck burned chicken roast goose oven pig duck sauce chicken bacon pine flower small belly meat sausage sausage assorted crispy smoked chicken white face steamed eight treasures pig Jiangmi Stuffed duck pot pheasant pot 鹌鹑 什 儿 卤 卤 卤 卤 卤 卤 卤 卤 卤 鹅 鹅 鹅 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈Abalone pot roast squid smashed soft-shelled turtle caught squid squid stir-fried prawn soft fried tenderloin soft fried chicken assorted set of intestines boiled cold crows spicy oil rolls 熘 fresh mushrooms squid squid belly squid slices vinegar simmered meat... ..."

This large section of the traditional "Delivery Name" is a stupid audience, all the audience are stupid!

The comic actors who watched the TV in front of the TV were also facing each other and took a breath!

Many people will say, especially the "Reporting Name", which is a basic skill for their comic actor. Many actors who hold the singer can come to the previous paragraph. However, they are shocked because they say that they are really Fucking can't say it, Zhang Yu's speech rate can be described as crazy, from beginning to end, that is, his "sound voice" as the host said the ad language at that time amazing speed!

No one has imitated it!

That's the way to say, everyone is seeing for the first time!

Tang Dazhang also sinks in his heart. He did not expect Zhang Wei to subtly blend the traditional comic dialogue into the program. He also shocked the speed of the people of the whole country in "Good Voice"!

The applause thunder!

Hey!

"it is good!"

"well said!"

"Too cow!"

"This speed is that his mother is going to take off!"

The audience also heard that the goose bumps are all up, because it is too fast! This speed is three times or even four times that of other comic actors who say it!

This mouth is too scary!

Zhang Wei on the stage finished.

Yao Jiancai was shocked: "Why do you want so many dishes? How much does it cost?"

Zhang Yiyi’s hand, “public money!”

Yao Jiancai is amazed, "Hey!"

I heard a lot of comic actors once again, this is a satirical public money to eat and drink?

Yao Jiancai: "Now the country is fighting this! Is it against the wind?"

Zhang Weidao: "Not only eat, but our section chief often takes us on a tour, Shanghai, Guilin, Suzhou, wherever."

Yao Jiancai: "You are also burning money."

Zhang Wei looked at Lao Yao. "But in the process of tourism, I discovered some uncivilized phenomena."

Yao Jiancai asked: "What is the phenomenon?"

Zhang Wei: "Some monuments, scenic spots, even someone wrote on it, what is going to swim here, what XX I love you, there are people who have carved their names, what Yao Jiancai..."

Yao Jiancai quickly stopped, "No me! I can't do this!"

The audience laughed and said: "Ha ha ha ha!"

Zhang Wei: "That is an example."

Yao Jiancai said: "There is such an uncivilized phenomenon!"

Zhang Wei: "I have a strong sense of justice. I am angry when I look at this. I am so angry that I can't do it. I have to talk about them! It's awful!"

Yao Jiancai has a big head. "Yes, you have to talk about them!"

Zhang Yiyi sinks, picks up the fan on the table as a pen, and writes in the void. "This comrade, I want to criticize you! How can you doodle here? Do you still have some qualities? Do you still have it? A little public morality? How did your father teach you? How did your mother teach you? How did your grandfather teach you? How did your grandmother teach you? How did your aunt teach you? How is your gossip grandma? Teach you?"

Yao Jiancai is all stunned.

The audience laughed early and swayed!

"I can not make it!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"The tears are coming out!"

Zhang Yijie said: "In any case, I smashed him over a thousand words on the wall! It's too irritating!"

Yao Jiancai blinked: "More than a thousand words?"

Zhang Wei: "That's yeah, they are too uncivilized!"

Yao Jiancai said: "There are four words at the end of a ‘have a tour’, and you write more than a thousand words? You are not civilized than you!”

Zhang Wei rolled his eyes: "How can I not be civilized? Our section chief praised me after seeing it. He said that Xiao Zhang is doing very well. When you see this uncivilized behavior, you must resolutely criticize and correct it!"

Audience: "Ha ha ha ha!"

Yao Jiancai fainted: "What kind of section chief are you, get things sooner or later!"

Zhang Hao suddenly screamed and said: "I still let you talk about it. Isn't this just a few days?"

Yao Jiancai: "What happened?"

Zhang Wei: "I traveled abroad that day... No, we called the country to inspect, and we met the sea--the Pirates in the Canadian-Lebanon."

Yao Jiancai was shocked, "Hey!"

Zhang Wei: "The pirates got out of the boat and took out the gun. It costs five million!"

Yao Jiancai: "What should I do?"

Zhang Wei: "Or our chief of the department has gone through hundreds of battles. He directly found the leader of the pirates and said, 'You want five million, but you have to open a one hundred million invoice for me!"

Yao Jiancai: "Ah?"

Zhang Wei: "The pirates are crying, or are you making money!"

Yao Jiancai: "Hey!"

The scene has been drowned once by laughter!

"Ha ha ha!"

“Opening a billion invoice? Hey!”

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Hearing here, the people in the comic world have been silent.

The few comic actors who have just questioned on Weibo have not had any movements at this time.

The audience is excited about each other!

Gift relationship?

Satire public money to eat and drink?

Irony tourism uncivilized phenomenon?

Is it straightforward to reimburse public funds?

This is the most basic means of crosstalk. This is a very advanced art expression!

Nowadays, many people know that Zhang Wei’s cross talk today is based on his deductive work experience. He uses a funny baggage to satirize some of the unhealthy phenomena in today’s society! Plus the amazing mouth that no one has imitated...

Who the mother said that Zhang Wei will not say the party cross talk?

Who the mother said that Zhang Wei can't talk about traditional works? ?

Pull you 姥-姥- the egg! !