Living Life In Naruto Relaxed.

"What are you doing here?" Kai-La asked.

The Fertility/ Pandemonium God was standing in the clearing. He wore a white suit with a black tie. A crystal mask was on his face with tribal markings in black. No visible hair could be seen. His full height looked to be about 6'5 or so.

"Were you watching?" Kai-La asked. "Do you think I should have handled that better? What is your name by the way?"

"It is about time I give you a name. I go by the name Carn-La." Carn-La said slightly bowing. "It is good to see you are well. Yes, I have been watching. Only the key parts. Nothing like your physical work and activities. I am not a God of voyeurism."

"Alrighty then," Kai-La said walking forward.

"Good Job on not killing them both. I bet on you not doing that." Carn-La said lightly. "The wives did though. They thought you would give in to your base d.e.s.i.r.es. But then again there are no real absolutes."

"So what happens now?" Kai-La said taking a seat on a log. "Did I break some rules or something?"

"Not at all. You have met the conditions for me to tell you another thing about us. Well, the tribe anyway."

"Oh do tell," Kai-La said very interested now. 'This ought to be good. Wait what tribe?"

"An option is before you. You can create life if you turn into a sage of Snake Mountain. It will also put you at odds with Ryuichi cave." Carn-La said in a serious tone.

"Eh, how so?" Kai-La asked. 'I can't take them on in that world they stay in. Summoning will only work if I sealed them away afterward.'

"The moment you sign a blood pact with them the prophecy will change a little. They will also learn about you wanting to kill one of their own. Giving Orchimaru intel about your existence would not help you. Ya know spies are plenty and whatnot."

"Not gonna do that. Besides I just want to learn her techniques. The woman herself ticks me off slightly. Don't know why though. There is something unnerving about her." Kai-La said stroking his knee.

"That is because she is a Sage and you are Kryptonian. Don't think about it too much. It will make your head hurt." Carn-La moved his hand out and watched a little bird land on it.

Kai-La just shook his head. He became slightly worried about what that entailed but dismissed it. "Things have gotten weird lately. What's up? When I fought Pakura earlier her body had a weird chakra in it. Whats with Oreo to?"

"You caught that?" Carn-La said looking to the sky. Shaking his head he looked back at Kai-La. "One of my wives did that. They bolstered her making her stronger and increasing her d.e.s.i.r.es."

"Why the heck did they do that?" Kai-La asked standing up.

"It is because of my second Divinity. Pandemonium. Pakura....and Oreo both. They are people who should have died already. Someone who is supposed to be dead already touched by divinity, change if they are saved due to divinity. You are a result of divinity so .. you get the picture." Carn-La said watching Kai-La for any issues. 'He is calm this is good.'

"Because neither of them is dead a new place in history has started. You are right in your thoughts about her dying against that piece of Ten-Tails. She would have died from her injuries afterward with a fight with a Black Zetsu."

"Oh neat. Wait, I have not seen him around leaf village either Obito. Is something different happening?" Kai-La asked. 'I need to get those seals around the village protecting it from them. I should talk to Danzo and Hiruzen.'

"Yes, I won't say exactly. But your presence is a deterrent. As well as some other things. I enjoy what you did with Danzo. You completely changed his life. But be careful he can still turn back to his old ways. He needs a guiding light so to speak." Carn-La said more serious than he wanted. Looking at Kai-La thinking he took a seat. Forming a wooden chakra chair to sit in.

"Right. I understand. I will do that." Kai-La said looking up to the sky. 'The sun is so bright over here. What's with this clearing?'

'Heh if you would have noticed this earlier I would have told you. But no matter. There are other things to discuss.' "Good. Are you enjoying yourself so far? You look better than before." Carn-La said getting Kai-La's attention.

"Hmm yes. The twist and turns are exciting. Haven't had anything stress me out yet. Giving into my anger is way more fun than suppressing it. Quite relaxing." Kai-La said smiling. "Oh, wait. What happened when I kissed Anko? I didn't get that when I kissed Pakura."

"Pakura did not have a major qualitative change then. It was too small of an occurrence, however.... Anko. As a person, she changed greatly. Be careful with her. She is like glass right now. As time changes she will gain a stronger presence. So will the others." Carn-La said. He snapped his fingers when he thought about something else. "Be careful of your name. It has meaning."

"Right gotcha. Wait what meaning?"

"Your name. Well, the attachment means to shield from the sky. My name means to shield through bloodshed. My word beginning is abbreviated from Carnage. Your beginning part is a different shield good luck finding its deeper meaning."

"Ughh that seems troublesome," Kai-La said. "So meaningful kisses does things to people? That definitely sounds like something for a God of Fertility."

"If you think that is something wait till you kiss Hisa. That girl is damn near in love with you already. You changed way too much for to fast already. Good thing you didn't spend time with her like you did Anko. Think she would have killed Pakura and Oreo if she knew what happened. Then again Anko may help her."

"Hehehe" Kai-La laughed after remembering what happened earlier. "Wait she isn't like crazy? Is she crazy!?"

"Not at all, its devotion. Kryptonian physiology connects you with people. Combined with your chakra you are going to experience all kinds of different things. Word of caution. Hisa will die for the family outright be careful."

"Pakura will destroy the whole village if she thinks it will help the family."

"Anko and Oreo would do anything to escape with the family."

"Everything you involve yourself will have a touch of my divinity. The good news, it affects others mostly not you. Anyway, it is about time I get going. You should head back it is nightfall." Carn-La said rising from his chair. "You should marry them soon. At least the two before the year ends."

"Um. I will marry the lot of them before the year ends. I need to talk a little more to Oreo about something. I need the sealing techniques she has." Kai-La said to Carn-La.

"Hmm. What is your plan for the Tailed-Beast? Since they have this alternate story from what you know."

"I will learn a way to remove them from the hosts. Hopefully, with a sealing technique, I get from Oreo. So far I have a method. Using my cell abilities I will give them a body and see what happens. But that requires everyones cooperation. Using a better sealing technique I will take them out forcefully if I have to. Leaving a small amount of the chakra in the host to help stabilize them. The other majority of the chakra along with there personality I will place in the new body." Kai-La said seriously. "I still have some things to work out. I need to visit the Yamanakas as well as Danzo's vault of moves."

"What about the Sharingan? Or other Genjutsu users." Carn-La asked. 'I won't tell him his plan will succeed as is. Let's see how he handles this.

"Obviously, I will give them a way to protect against Genjutsu. That way I won't hear any whining about they were under someone's control later if I have to kill them. If they don't want the body I am gonna seal them away. Somewhere far from here." Kai-La said stretching. "Diplomacy.... ah."

"Heh. Goodbye. Oh here. This will allow you to start contract summons. You already have enough knowledge to work it." Carn-La said. He turned and opened a small dimensional gate.

"Well, thanks," Kai-La said catching the scroll. "But that mask. It looks like a hollow mask. Why?"

"Unlike you. I was sent to the Bleach World. No wishes. I earned an ability after my first death though. I was reincarnated the second time with Wolverine's mutant ability. That was awful. Without the adamantium poisoning me. I went crazy and was murdered by a firing squad." Carn-La said shuddering. "I still have nightmares every now and then. The third time was much better. Anyway bye."

With that, the portal closed behind him after he stepped inside.

"Well damn, that bites," Kai-La said looking at the scroll. He tucked it away into a pocket dimension. Looking around he used his vision and saw Pakura and Oreo had already cleaned the area and had left. "Time to head home now."

With that, he jumped into the air then flew to his house. Landing in the back yard he walked around to the front and opened the door. He was greeted to the sight of most of the family sleeping in the living room.

Hisa was asleep in a rocker with TenTen in her l.a.p. Naruto and Anko were laid out on something that looked like a bean bag chair. Pakura slept on the couch with Oreo on the other end.

The only one up was Shura aka Gemini.

"Hey, Shura are you alright?" Kai-La asked quietly. 'She has several small traps set up in the back. None that the children will trigger besides the net capture ones. She has done well. What should I award her with?'

"Yes, I am fine Leader. You arrived in the back yard but came to the front why?" Shura asked.

"Habit I suppose. You are doing a good job. What would you like for a reward? We have not discussed payment yet. " Kai-La said walking over to TenTen and Hisa. "Think about it while I put them to bed ok."

Lifting both into his arms Hisa woke up. Kai-La shushed her and continue to carry them both to Hisa's room. Laying the two on the bed he tucked TenTen and looked at Hisa.

"How are you faring? Those eyes are doing better yes?" Kai-La asked softly. He brushed Hisa faced causing her to turn red.

"We are doing fine. My eyes are great. I became dizzy earlier from overuse. I couldn't help it. Using the ability of the eyes I was able to remember full details of whatever I saw. It was so stimulating. It also has a little zoom in feature." Hisa said excitedly.

"Hisa," Kai-La said sternly. "I need you to take it easy. Understand? You basically had eye surgery. Technically I should have bandaged your whole head and put you in a dark room to rest for a few days. I didn't cause you were a ninja. I thought you had better control than that. I don't need you taking an unneeded risk like that."

"I know but... There are so many things to see and remember. I keep thinking everything will go away. That I will wake up in the Hyuga compound again." Hisa said tearing up a little. "I promise to be more careful."

"Umu Daddy don't bully mama Hisa, be nice not mean," TenTen said waking up. Balling her little fist she looked angrily at Kai-La. "I wanted to go everywhere today. She just went with me."

"Easy TenTen. I am not bullying her. I just want her to be careful. I am not mad just a little upset. Tell ya what. We will schedule a doctors appointment to get it checked out. Till then no more overuse of your eyes. Understand?" Kai-La said to them both. "Time for bed you to." After he kissed TenTen on the head and retucked her in.

"Ahh, ok," TenTen said laying back down. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow all the way.

"I understand. But I am not a kid. I am not even tired." Hisa said pouting.

"Oh, you are so cute," Kai-La said kissing her on the cheek. "I know you are not. But I would like for you to stay with her tonight. Just until she gets used to the family."

Hisa looked up face slightly redfaced.

"R.right I will. Goodnight husband." She said getting under the covers.

"Night Hisa," Kai-La said as he walked out the door closing it gently.

Oreo, Pakura, Anko were now awake.

"I will take Naruto to bed now. You should talk to them." Pakura said walking up the stairs past Kai-La.

Kai-La reached out his hand stopping her.

"What is wrong?" Pakura asked a little scared to hear the answer. 'He cant still be mad.'

"Nothing but are you ok? You didn't run into any trouble returning to the village did you?" Kai-La asked. He then checked over Naruto's condition which was fine. The whiskers were still receded. Changing a few more cells he looked back at Pakura.

"No, no trouble at all really. Well, a little argument with the Jonin guards. But nothing worthwhile." Pakura said with a little smile. 'His eyes look a little off. He is still mad.' She tightened her free hand on her belt a little.

"That's good. He is fine." Kai-La said looking at her. "Have a good night. Let's talk again in a few days about the sand child ok." Seeing Pakura nod her head a little Kai-La grabbed her face and kissed her lightly on her lips. "You come to find me if you hurt anywhere."

Blushing Pakura, kissed Kai-La's cheek and ran up the stairs. "Of course."

"So what seems to be the problem?" Kai-La asked Anko and Oreo.

"I am gonna grab something to eat," Shura said walking into the kitchen.

"She said you can teach me snake techniques but I don't trust her," Anko said getting to the point.

"Well, you are lacking. I can help you." Oreo said rolling her eyes. "I am a sealing expert and I can beat you. Don't you want to be stronger?"

Seeing they were going to fight Kai-La stopped them before it started.

"Anko it wouldn't hurt to learn the techniques from another snake clan. But I think it should wait till after you visit a medical ninja. Let them give you a checkup on your head and body." Kai-La said calmly to Anko. Looking over to Oreo he told her his piece. "If she doesn't want to. Don't force her. You need to learn some physical techniques. We will start your physical training soon."

"Tch, stop coddling her. I work just fine as a ninja. I don't want to become all muscle. Who the hell would marry a woman like that."Oreo said. She stretched out her arm to show her milky white skin. "Men like this super soft skin."

"Eh, I guess," Kai-La said shrugging his shoulders.

"What do you mean eh?!" Oreo looked mouth open. "That's what the book I found in the Hokages office said."

"I don't have a real physical preference. Well, I prefer them to be a.d.u.l.ts and alive. Hehe." Kai-La said laughing at her face. "But you should gain a little muscle. I think it will suit you better."

"See told you!" Anko said. "I need to go to bed I have to leave for a mission in the morning."

With that Anko got up from the table and started to walk away.

"Anko I will come to talk to you later. If you are already asleep wake me tomorrow." Kai-La said looking at her.

"Ok," Anko said yawning.

"So Oreo. I need something from you." Kai-La said looking at the woman.

Snapping out of it she looked at him. "Yes, what is it," Oreo said plainly. 'What could he possibly need from me?'

"I need you to teach me those Sealing Techniques and any Extraction Techniques," Kai-La said seriously.

"Um, I talked to them already. They haven't decided if I can be a wife. So I will not teach you." Seeing Kai-La eyes glint Oreo added something really quickly. "I will teach TenTen since she shows an affinity for it. I am part of your clan now so I don't mind teaching one of you."

Oreo got up to walk away. As soon as she got by Kai-La he smacked her on the a.s.s.

"Whack," she stifled an eep. She looked at Kai-La biting her lip. She was not angry more of a wanting look.

"You said to be a little more forceful. I will with you and a little with Anko. But I will be extremely heavy handed on you. You should probably get to a room soon. That chakra is about to hit the p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e spots in your body." Kai-La transmitted directly to her ears.

When he smacked her bum he channeled chakra with a single bit of cell programming to activate the p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e centers in her body as long as his chakra was inside her.

Oreo dispearered really quickly after that statement.

"Ah..." Shura said coming out of the kitchen.

"Yes, what is it?" Kai-La asked smiling.

"I know what I want," Shura said determined.