My Navy Seal II: Undeniable Attraction

NICK

As we get closer to my dad's house I start to feel angrier. If I think about the things that he has done throughout my childhood and now this, Kim might have been right when she said that I might not be able to control myself. I feel myself starting to shake from all the anger and then I feel her hand on my leg again.

I do not know how she gets it right but just her touch alone calms me down.

"What is going on in that mind of yours?"

KIM

I knew that this will happen the closer we get to his house. I know that he wants to be in control but I know from experience that you can not always control how you will be when you are around your family. And what his father did is unforgivable. I wish I knew what he did that Nick would even think he is capable of doing what that doctor said.

I can see him shake and I know that usually means he is either completely turned on or very angry and in this case, I will go with very angry.

"Nothing"

"Come on, Nick, nothing? You have to give me a bit more than that?"

"I guess I am just angry. I am just angry at him. How can any man do something like what he did?"

"I do not know, Nick. I do not know. But what I do know is that you are not that man"

NICK

Then she says the words that I have been wondering about almost my entire life. I was wondering whether I am going to be like my father one day and it was like a ghost that chased me all my life. Everything that I did and does, I make sure that it is not what he would do. And now, I hear my fiance say that I am not like my father.

I hear what she is saying but sometimes I wonder. He is my father and I have his genes. But to hear her say that makes me feel much better and so I put my hand on her leg assuring her that I will be able to control myself.

Then I pull up into his driveway and I begin to wonder if it was a good idea. But then I remember that my mother is in the hospital and the doctor just told us what he did. I turn to look at Kim.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Yes, I know"

"I just think that maybe you should not come in with me..."

"Why?"

"I am afraid that I might turn into a man that I do not want you to see"

"You know that there is nothing that you can do that would chase me away from you, right?"

"I know that you love me but I just think I should do this alone"

I feel her kissing me on my cheek and then look deep into my eyes.

"Okay, Nick, if that is what you want. But if you need anything...anything at all. You know where I am"

"Yes, I know and I love you for that"

I then get out of the car and close the door. I look at his house and I remember how I was here once. He was so sincere that he wanted to make things right between us and I was a fool to think that he would make things right but it was not long when he was back to his old ways.

This is the main reason why I am not falling into his trap again with his letters that he sends me. He does not say a lot in his letters as he is not a man that says a lot but all that he says is he wants me to come and visit him.

Well, I guess today is his lucky day as I am here to give him a visit but I think that it is not the visit that he would expect. I walk onto the porch and then knock on the door. It is not long after the knock when the door opens.

The man that I see before me is not the man that I remember. This man is old and frail. I do not know this man to be the man that used to give us so much drama in our house. But I also see a look on his face that I am not familiar with. It is a look of happiness.

"Nick!"

He wants to come closer and give me a hug but I step away from his embrace. I am not about to make peace with this man after what I know he has done.

"Why don't you just step away from me?"

"Oh, okay. Why are you here then?"

I can see that shock has now replaced his happiness as I guess he did not expect me to react like that.

"Why don't we just cut to the chase. Why did you drug mom?"

Now the shock that was on his face has turned to horror.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think you know. We had a visit with Dr. Carson"

Then he stumbles backward and turns around trying to run. I can not believe that he is running away but I quickly follow him and then tackle him to the ground.

"Why did you drug mom!! Tell me now"

I can not believe that I am holding my dad in the same grip I would hold an enemy but on the other hand, at this moment he is my enemy. I can feel how angry I am between the breathes that I take. I want to tighten the grip that I have around his neck but then I remember Kim's words.

"...I...I can not breathe..."

I hear him saying it but I just can not release my grip. Then I get off him and give him a little bit of space.

"Okay, now you can breathe so why did you drug mom?!"

I hear him cough from the grip that I had him in and suddenly his familiar face has surfaced. It is the same angry face that I looked at almost all my life.

"Fuck you!"

And then he spits right past me at the ground. I feel that anger growing even more inside me but when I look at him I see an old man and I know if I just touch him I might break him and he will get killed.

Then I put my hands on his shoulders and hold them tight while shaking him.

"Tell me!! Tell me now!!"

"Why do you care you little brat?! You never cared about her?! Why now?!"

He should not have said that because now my anger is replaced by rage but instead of putting him in a death grip I scream at him.

"I did not care about mom?? I?? It was you!!! You did not give a fuck about us!! You never gave a fuck!! How dare you tell me that I did not care about mom?! I was the one that stayed and picked up the pieces after the mess you made!! You fuck!!"

"What do you know?! What do you know?! You were just a little boy?! "

"This little boy has grown up and now I know what a piece of fuck you are!! "

"You know nothing!! "

I thought that I needed some sort of approval in his eyes. I suddenly realize that this man, my so-called father, is just a drunken piece of crap. I need nothing from him and I am nothing like him. He does not care about anyone but himself.

I know now exactly what I need to do.

"You will get what is coming to you!"

I turn around and start to walk away. For some reason, I have peace in my heart. I will not waste my time or energy on him. He is not worth being around me or my mom. I will see to it that he pays for what he did.

"Who do you think you are?! Walking away from me?!"

I do not even answer him as he means nothing to me from this moment on. The only person that has any kind of hold on me will be Kim. This man means nothing. I can not help but feel proud of myself and I know that Kim would be too.

I walk out of his house and close the door behind me as a symbol that I closed off my past with him. I will never turn back again and I will never think of him again.

As I walk to the car and I see my beautiful fiance sitting in the car just waiting for me, I know that this is where I need to be. This is my future. I need to be the best husband that I can be for her and maybe even the best father one day. I might not have a father to look up to but I do know what a father is supposed to be.

I open the door to the car and get into the driver's seat.

"Is it finished? Did you find what you were looking for?"

I turn and look into those beautiful blue eyes of hers and then I can not stop myself as I give her a kiss. I let the kiss linger for a while and then I only move an inch away and say.

"I found everything I was looking for"