My Navy Seal II: Undeniable Attraction

KIM

I wake up in exactly the same position that I fell asleep. As I start to sit upright I can feel my body ache because I slept on just one side of my body. I must have been extremely exhausted and I know that I am emotionally exhausted too. I wish I could wake up and this all can just have been a nightmare.

But there is no way of that happening because he is not here and nobody knows where he is. It is just unfair how life has turned out to be. Finally, I get to the man of my dreams and now he could be dead. I do not want to stand up until he returns but I know that other soldiers are relying on me.

Then I see the photo of me and him lying next to me on the floor. I take the photo and look at him. I wish I can look into that eyes again and just tell him how much I love him. It makes me think that I have not told him enough. I have not let him know how much I love him.

"Dammit, Kim"

I need to get my head straight. I look on my watch and I see it is only five in the morning. I know that I do not have to be at the hospital until seven but maybe if I can get myself a cup of coffee. So, I put my hair up in a ponytail and put on new clothes. Just because I feel exhausted, I do not have to look that way.

I open the tent and then start to walk to the food tent. Everything is quiet around the camp except maybe for a soldier or two that had to stay awake for the night. The sun is slowly starting to rise and I can see the mist filling the forest. Then suddenly, I see someone coming from far away.

He is walking extremely slowly and I can not make out who it is. Suddenly the thought that it could be Nick attacks my mind and I start to run. Then the man falls to the ground and my heart wants to jump out of my rib cage. I run even faster as I will not lose him before I even got to see him.

I almost ski as I fall down to the ground next to him. Almost in an instant to soldiers is next to me and then we turn the man around.

"John?!"

I quickly put my fingers against their throat checking for a pulse. There is nothing.

"No!?! Fuck!! No!!"

He is not going to die on my watch as he is the only one that can tell me where Nick is and if Nick is alive and John is dead he will be extremely sad. I will save this man's life even if it is the last thing that I do.

"Come on, John!! You are not dying on me now!!"

I turn to the soldiers around me and I almost scream at them.

"Get me, Dr. Naidoo, now!!"

They turn around and start running back to the camp. I let John lay flat on his back and then start to do CPR.

"Don't give up, John! Don't you dare give up!"

I do compressions on his chest and then I blow air into his lungs. Then I stop to listen if he is breathing on his own but nothing. I do everything again and again I listen but again nothing. I carry on for I do not know how long but he keeps on not giving me a breath.

Finally, the soldiers return and Nita is with them. She brought a first aid kit and that is exactly what I need.

"We need to open him and massage his heart. There is nothing else that we can do. I need you to get the defibrillator. Quick"

She does not say a word and turns around running to the hospital. We both know that this is a matter of life and death. Soon some nurses come as well to help and we start to prep him right here and now to open his chest.

I will be damned if I lose him. There is no way that this will be happening. Finally, I got the gloves on and everything is ready. I take the scalpel that I have had so many times in my hands before and open his chest. I take the retractor and start to open his ribs.

I put my hand into his rib cage and take hold of his heart. I start to massage it and then sometimes I stop to see if it does it by itself but no luck.

"Come on, John! Do this for your wife!"

I start to massage it again and then Nita comes with the defibrillator. I leave the heart again and then take hold of the defibrillator putting it onto his heart.

"Clear!"

I shock him and his body is sent straight up in the air. When it falls down on the ground I watch the monitor closely. I want to see a rhythm. I need to see a heart rhythm. Still, nothing happens.

"Fuck! Give me a higher voltage and push one of epi"

I shock him again and I wait patiently for the monitor to move. It feels like almost hours waiting for it to give me a rhythm but then finally I see the rhythm. I breathe out a breath of relief and there is nothing to describe the feeling I feel.

I quickly retract the defibrillator and then start to close him up. We cannot afford that infection plays a part when he is trying to recover. As I am busy with the stitches I see his body as if I see it for the first time.

It looks like a gash of flesh has been ripped from his leg. His face looks like it's been cut up and there is dried blood on his arm. What the hell happened to him? What happened to Nick?

I can feel my mouth starting to dry again and my face is losing feeling. I know that if I do not get my emotions under control I might faint again and I can not afford to do that now. I need to look after John and make sure that he lives.

I want him to wake up and tell me where Nick is but I am afraid that his body is already telling me too much. The soldiers pick him up carefully and take him back to the hospital. He is still unconscious and he probably will be for a few hours.

The nurses want to patch him up and clean him up but I refuse that they touch him. I want to clean him up and make him feel better. It is as if it is Nick lying in this bed and I will be damned if something happens to him.

I start to wash off the dry blood trying to find all the wounds on his body. The cuts on his face are superficial but the one on his leg is almost unrepairable. If the infection has taken its place in his leg he might lose it. I have to keep a close eye on this infection because it could spread through his entire body.

I get to his arm and I can see that his arm is broken. I quickly do what I need to do to get his arm steady while he is still unconscious. I do not know how much time I have spent on him and then I feel the hand on my shoulder.

"Kim, do you maybe need to get something to eat?"

"No!!"

I pull my shoulder from her touch. I do not want to leave. Then Nita walks to the other side of the bed where she can see my face and then she says.

"Kim, if you are not going to eat something you might faint again. I will-"

"No! Nita! Go away!"

I feel extremely angry and I do not know why.

"Kim...just listen to me for a second"

"No! Goddammit!"

Now I am screaming and still, I have no idea why. Then she takes hold of both my shoulders and lets me look into her eyes. Then she says.

"Honey, this is not Nick..."

I feel a tear starting to roll down my cheeks. I look at the man lying on the bed and I see it is John but I could have sworn that it was Nick. I then realized that there is something seriously wrong with me. How could I have ever even thought it was him?

"What is wrong with me?"

I look at Nita with pleading eyes. Then she starts to rub my shoulders and say.

"Honey, you just need to eat something and rest a little bit. I promise you that then you will feel better. Nothing is wrong with you. You just miss Nick"

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