Payback

I still didn’t quite get why I was so surprised then. It’s only been a few weeks since we’ve met, and he wasn’t a particularly friendly person. A existence attached to the manager whom Yoohan used whenever he needed to; Hansoo was just that. But I was really surprised, it was like a blade in front of me that I didn’t notice because I was busy defending something else in the distance. 

In a way, it was only natural that Yoohan also messed with Hansoo, another actor under our manager.

‘Yoohan hyung was very annoyed about your sponsor. He’s going to crush them all before he gets bigger, he’s grinding his teeth now.’

7:30 p.m. I got on the train thinking of the manager and Hansoo who would be at the small theater right now because of the interview about the play. The rattle of the train was transmitted through the background, but the last words of the yellow-haired person resounded in my head.

‘Before coming here, Yoohan hyung was smiling when I met him. I asked if there was any good news and he said that he finally pulled out a thorn.’ 

After 40 minutes of traveling on the unusually slow subway, I was able to arrive at a small theater I had been to once. The manager’s old car was nowhere to be seen near the theater. Thinking that perhaps he wasn’t here, I opened the back door I had entered before. To enter the theater, you had to go through a dark and narrow hallway. But before I could go inside and look for him, I found Hansoo at the entrance stairs. Hansoo, who was sitting at the end of the stairs, raised his head at the sound of the door.

“Huh? W-what are you doing here?”

He tried to smile as usual, but the expression he created was nothing but a strange distortion.

It was thanks to his swollen, red eyes and a face that was messed up with tears all over.

Somehow, it felt like I suffered a punch from Myeongshin. Meanwhile, I felt I was relatively inferior myself. That feeling deepened when I saw Hansoo.

‘I’ve been ruined like a fool. Haha… T-there was a camera. I hadn’t heard of such a thing… As soon as I saw him holding a big camera and trying to film my acting…’

All the words he tried to explain with a forced smile did not come out.

But it was funny how the guy who couldn’t even wipe away all the flowing tears and runny nose was worried about the manager first. According to Hansoo, the manager probably went after the official. As soon as he saw the camera, Hansoo just froze, so he couldn’t even say a word on stage.

Of course, the hidden situation behind who set up the camera was apparent. Hansoo continued to call himself a fucking fool with his head bowed, and his tears were dripping down. The floor was so wet that it was amazing how many tears could come out of him. 

I looked at him for a moment, then turned around and came out. Standing in front of the closed iron gate, I stared at the darkened street. It was dinnertime, so it was a narrow alley, but occasionally people passed by me.

I didn’t know how long I stood there. A faint sound of music was heard from a store. When the songs I heard in the same order started repeating again, a familiar body type caught my eye. The manager was walking helplessly with his shoulders sagged and looking down at the ground. I had no choice but to pretend not to recognise him first. I was a little perplexed as I didn’t know how to treat the manager in a way that wasn’t my typical self. The manager, who noticed me only as I approached, opened his mouth first.

“Oh, it’s Taemin. When did you come?”

“A little while ago.” 

“I see. Did you do well in class?”

“Yes.”

After a short reply, he nodded his head, saying “I see” with a distorted smile. But soon the forced laughter disappeared. He looked down at the floor again and was silent, then opened his mouth with a sigh.

“Uh… I, Taemin, I’m sorry but we’ll have to do the daily script practice tomorrow instead.” 

“I’m curious about something.”

The manager blinked, asking, ‘What is it?’. Concentrating on his dark, barely visible face, Myeongshin’s name came out of my mouth.

“Is Song Yoohan’s sponsor a great person?”

“Why all of a sudden?” 

“Just because. You need to know if you want to fight back.”

I spoke lightly, as if it was nothing special. The manager wanted to furrow his eyebrows for a moment, then muttered.

“He’s a powerful old man. He can turn your minor supporting role into a lead role or make you become a regular on a famous variety show.”

“But why is Song Yoohan going after someone else?” 

“Someone else? Ah…”

As the manager recalled our conversation from before, he brought up someone’s name, mumbling.

“You mean Director Yoon. That’s because it’s Director Yoon.”

He lifted his eyes as I stared at him, asking for an explanation. 

“No matter how great the sponsor is, they’re nothing compared to Director Yoon. Probably the only one in this industry. Someone who doesn’t feel pressure. To the point of making so many enemies that he might even get kicked out of Dream.”

If Director Yoon was the monster the sharp-looking guy spoke of, the objective I had to approach became clear. What should I do now, when I’m empty-handed? The misery I felt when I saw Hansoo crying earlier made it clear that vowing to take revenge on Myeongshin was not enough.

I spent every day without a second thought, following the madman’s orders, but I arrived at a place where it might be the last time and organized what I had to do. I had to completely abandon my foolish pride.

“You have something to say to me?” 

The boss entered the office and looked up at me in front of his large mahogany desk.

“As I said before, lies don’t work for me, I have eyes sharper than a hawk.”

If it had been before, I would have laughed internally, but I just nodded seriously. He looked at me quietly, then lifted his back from his chair and placed his arms on the desk.

“Start.” 

“You’re right. I am trying to get revenge on Song Yoohan.”

“Why?”

“…”

“Glv tf gfjiis xlii sbeg ojwlis?” 

“Rb. Pa kjr rbwfbcf firf ktb xliifv ws ojwlis.”

Llr rilutais rdelcafv fsfr rffwfv ab jrx ktb la kjr. P bqfcfv ws wbeat ab jcrkfg, yea ws mjreji nblmf ofia ecojwliljg.

“Pa kjr wf ktb xliifv ws wbatfg jcv ws ygbatfg.”

Ktfs rjs alwf lr wfvlmlcf. Cr alwf qjrrfr, atf qjlc bo rbggbk jcv abgwfca vlrjqqfjg. Dea lo P vlvc’a offi rjvcfrr ogbw atf yfulcclcu, kbeiv alwf ralii yf j wfvlmlcf? P vlvc’a gfwfwyfg offilcu rjv. P vlvc’a atlcx atfgf kjr jcs qjlc bg reoofglcu mjerfv ys la. Pcrafjv, jr la kjr olnf sfjgr jub, atf ecvslcu tfjnlcfrr jikjsr qgfrrfv bc atf tfjga. 

Maybe it was because of this, that I confessed that I had killed my mother and younger brother.

What I was worried about was that after talking in the same voice as usual, perhaps the boss wouldn’t believe it.

For now, I had to keep coming to this place. The madman was here, but the real owner was the person in front of me, so I should have tried to look good in the first place but I had to spill the beans, even if it may sound like a lie. A little regret simply disappeared in the prolonged silence, but boredom took its place. The boss didn’t even gesture for me to explain further. I just stood still and stared back. After not avoiding his gaze and barely putting up with the boredom, as my patience ran out, he commanded me.

“Sit over there.”

He pointed to a chair as my legs were about to hurt, so I sat down on the soft sofa without hesitation. Then his question immediately followed. 

“When did they die?”

“Five years ago.”

“Both of them?”

Unlike the long silence, the boss’s voice was the same as usual, so I thought he was simply checking the facts. 

“Yes. My mother passed away two months after my brother died.”

“How did she die?”

“…”

“I know you were the cause of death, so please explain in more detail.” 

It was strange that he really seemed to believe what I’m saying. I looked at him and thought back to 5 years ago.

“My brother was murdered, and my mother died in the hospital.”

“Did your mother… have a chronic illness?”

“No. She collapsed suddenly and missed her treatment time.” 

“So it seems that she missed the treatment period because of you.”

“…”

“And that you’re the cause of your brother’s murder.”

Is it not? I took a moment to confirm the question and then nodded my head. 

“Yes. It’s because of me.”

“So what did you do?”

I didn’t quite understand his question, so he asked again. Meanwhile, he got up from his seat and walked over to the sofa where I was sitting.

“What have you been doing since your family died because of you?” 

“I paid my money back.”

“For five years?”

Yes, I answered and added that I paid all the money in case he misunderstood that I was asking for money. But strangely, he didn’t ask about what happened five years ago and why I said I was the cause.

“What did you do?” 

“Anything that can make me money normally.”

He gave a strange expression at my answer.

“‘Normal’, huh. That’s important.”

“…” 

“Hey, you.”

He asked softly, leaning his upper body from opposite me.

“How many days have you been off work for the past five years?”

“None.” 

His expression darkened again. His expression felt strange, but I couldn’t keep paying attention because I heard a question again.

“When your family died, did you cry?”

“No.”

At this point, I really wanted to stop being asked awkward questions. I answered lightly, and tried to answer straight-forwardly to what he wanted to know. But I couldn’t. A proper expression took over the boss’s face, which I thought was a little distorted since earlier. He was crying. 

It wasn’t until he realized that my expression was strange that the boss realized he was crying. He then got up and went out, saying that dust had gotten in his eyes. Of course I didn’t believe it, because no one would tear like that unless the dust was the size of a fist.

However, even after being left alone and looking back on the conversations I had with him, I couldn’t think of anything that would make him cry. Fortunately, the boss came back within minutes. He clarified as soon as he sat in front of me.

“Don’t get me wrong, I just shed some tears because I have a dust allergy.”

Staring at his bloodshot eyes and red nose from crying, I nodded, saying that I knew. Then another round of questions began against my wishes. 

“Now tell me about Song Yoohan. Why are you trying to get revenge on him?”

I hesitated a bit because it was something I really didn’t want to bring up, but then he put pressure on me by claiming he wouldn’t allow me to enter this place, so I had no choice but to briefly explain the situation at the time. However, as he listened to the story, his expression became strange again. His voice even trembled a bit.

“… Then, for 5 years, Lee Baekwon had atoned for his sins like that… Without crying, just paid back the money, euheuk… While working hard, the bad Song Yoohan, who gave information to the brother’s killer, enjoyed himself and succeeded in whatever dirty way he could? Have you ever seen a bastard like this in three generations?! Uuheuheuk… Lee Baekwon couldn’t even spend two hundred won for himself, and he had such a hard time for five years…”

I never really thought I had a hard time. Besides, I never wanted to do anything for myself, and I never saw the last five years as atonement, but I couldn’t stop him from talking. Because it seemed like he had to stop crying first. 

“Boss. Dust. I think your allergy is acting up again.”

“Song Yoohan, he will be punished… What? Ah, Allergy. Hmmm. Ah, my eyes are so sensitive.”

He turned his head and wiped the tears with his sleeve. I didn’t know if his eyes were sensitive, but his emotions definitely seemed to be sensitive. Suddenly, I remembered what the manager had said yesterday.

‘He is very sharp, but very affectionate.’ 

Not just ‘very’, more like ‘tremendously’. I slightly resented the manager for not giving accurate information, but his sniffing runny nose going ‘Kuhheuk~’ was heard. Suddenly he stopped crying and his eyes darkened.

“A bastard who lives shamelessly without knowing his sins should be taught a lesson! This is not the time to sit like that!”

I didn’t want to sit like this either. However, I couldn’t help but ask him as he was very agitated.

“Boss.” 

“What?!”

“Do you believe everything I say?”

The question I wanted to ask was, ‘Are you out of your mind?’, but I wanted to check the basics. He answered right away.

“Hm? You didn’t lie, did you?” 

Rather, he naively asked that and immediately changed the subject.

“So what are your plans for the future? Hm?”

“…”

“Oh right, since Song Yoohan’s sponsor is that annoying Chairman Kim you will need a more… Ah, right! Jay! You have Jay!” 

He got excited and brushed me off. His imagination, which he cultivated with his reasoning ability that he was proud of, filled in the lack of explanation I gave. Maybe in his mind I’ve been turned into a nice, respectable young man who atoned with sincerity for five years? I guessed so, but I got goosebumps.

But somehow, as if my guess was correct, the boss urged me.

“What are you doing? You should have made a move on Jay first!”

Rather than being startled, I was a little furious. Was this the time to reflect on the cause of this conversation? I tried to prepare myself and open my mouth, but a different sound brought the boss back to his senses. 

Click.

A familiar voice entered the room with the sound of the door.

“I suppose you’re talking about something interesting?”

The boss and I froze at the same time as we shook our heads. Perhaps it was because I was sitting and looking up, the unusually taller madman walked slowly through the open doorway. I hadn’t been committing a crime, but I suddenly stopped breathing. 

He stopped near the sofa, looked at me and the boss, and slowly twisted his lips and smiled. Unlike his dimpled smile, his eyes gleamed wildly. For a moment, the breath that had stopped froze. He caught my eye and added in a languid voice.

“I heard my name.”

Unlike my usual self, my mind turned blank. As much as I was caught off guard, I also felt somewhat unpleasant.

The problem was that the displeasure was not directed at the person who created this situation. It was towards me who froze and stiffened just because of this situation. There was silence as if cold water had been poured over us. There was just one thing that came to mind. 

This punk was certainly a guy I shouldn’t get involved with. The warning of instinct that I felt when I first saw him on the roof came to mind again. But I knew that I would ignore the warning again this time. If there is a difference from before, I was also influenced by someone else this time; the boss who wants me to get involved with him.

“Y-your name? W-w-what are you talking about?”

The self-proclaimed master of reasoning spat out a lie that anyone could see through. It was embarrassing to watch him from the side with a noticeably hardened face. His voice, raised an octave, was on the verge of breaking, so all his words and actions seemed unnatural.

“Ha. Ha. Ha~ You are overly conscious. We never talked about you. As you know, I don’t mind you much. Lee Baekwon, do you mind him?” 

Beeps exploded everywhere like landmines. At this point, the madman stared openly at me. Unable to hold his gaze, I glanced back and met a smiling face. It was like a warning that read, ‘then I will listen to you’, and a chill ran down my spine. The boss who made the situation like this and thought that his acting skills were perfect then called on me, forcing me to join him in his lies.

“Isn’t that right, Baekwon?”

“… Yes.”

The boss seemed relieved then, so he started speaking in a normal voice. 

“Look, we never talked about you.”

But it was too late. Now he looked like he was the only one talking about the madman. But the boss, having found confidence, stood up and put his hand on the other’s waist. The madman did not take his eyes off me, and answered in a voice mixed with laughter.

“Yes, I must have misunderstood.”

“Right. You heard wrong. We will never talk about you…” 

“Then what were you talking about?”

“… Hm?”

“What were you talking about?”

“That’s… We didn’t talk about much.” 

“If it’s not a big deal, I might as well listen to it.”

The boss turned his bewildered gaze to me. That movement was like an open confession to the madman that we had been talking about me. Unsurprisingly, the madman’s eyes looked down at me. Left without a choice, I reluctantly opened my mouth.

“We were talking about me.”

I had no reason to hide so I said frankly. Of course, it would be the most inconvenient if I told a lie and the other person noticed. 

“About you, huh. Now I’d like to know more.”

He still had a nice smile on his face. But the room was getting more and more suffocating. If my spirit had been a little weak, I might have confided everything I was talking about. Fortunately or unfortunately, no matter how strong the opponent, his disposition that I had faced before helped me not to lose my composure.

“It’s something you know. About my past, I was just explaining that I met Myeongshin while living like a thug five years ago, and that I am now trying to get revenge.”

“Why?” 

Why? While I frowned as I did not understand the question, the languid voice questioned again.

“Why are you talking about that? Or do you always go around talking about the past, when you were originally a ruffian?”

I thought about it for a while, even though I knew that there was no way I could avoid answering him. Was there any chance of winning if I punched that bastard here? As I stared back at his gaze, a genuine smile spread in his eyes. It felt like he was playing with me, so I tried to get up from my seat without realizing it. However, an innocent voice from the side broke the tension.

“No, Baekwon was a ruffian?” 

He looked me up and down with wide-open eyes.

“I thought you were just a rascal, but it turned out that you were a ruffian.”

I wanted to ask him who was admiring me, what the hell was the difference between the two? On the other hand, if I asked such a question in this situation, what would I explain to the madman? But to add insult to injury, he turned to the madman and asked.

“Can you believe it? Five years ago, Baekwon was a ruffian? I can’t even imagine what it is now. He looks so reticent and upright, how in the world could he be a ruffian? How long has he been running around like a dog…” 

The repeated word ‘dog’ was strangely annoying, but I couldn’t express my dissatisfaction. He forgot the current situation and quickly returned to his former sentiments.

“To be able to simply end the life of a ruffian who was drunk every day and beat anyone like a dog, and tormented his family and friends at every turn. To be so shocked to the extent that he made atonement for the past 5 years and lived life like a monk… keukheuk…”

He sucked in a runny nose and bit his trembling lower lip. Seeing this, I suddenly lost my energy and lost the will to correct him. Although I did drink and fooled around, I didn’t get drunk every day. I did fight, but my family and friends never visited even on holidays.

As I was at a loss for words, the boss got up from his seat and spoke about his dust allergy and hurriedly left. Maybe he was acting because he didn’t want to face this situation? It happened so quickly that I doubted it, so there was silence in the room where the two of us were left. I just took my eyes off the door and opened my mouth to the other person. 

“I wasn’t that much of a ruffian.”

At my excuse, he too looked away from the door and his expressionless face returned.

“I don’t care.”

“…” 

“Your past is none of my business. So the current situation is that the boss of this place was moved by your story… Was he the first to ask about it? Since he couldn’t sit back and watch you approach me, he told you that you had to tell him in order to keep coming to this place?”

As if he had seen everything beforehand, I nodded slightly when he asked the question. SInce you already know, why ask? While my expression soured, he asked more questions at intervals. No, it was a fact check disguised as a question.

“So if the boss heard about your past and was impressed… He must have said he would help you.”

He made an intimidating smile again. 

“Did he tell you to seduce me?”

Didn’t this jerk already see everything on the CCTV? My eyes turned to the ceiling, wondering if there is a camera in this room as well. Then I snapped at him, who seemed to be having fun.

“That’s right. He told me to seduce you. But don’t worry. Being involved with you this much is enough for now.”

There was no answer, so I looked at every corner of the ceiling and then lowered my eyes as he spoke expressionlessly. 

“Enough for now… Because your goal is Director Yoon?”

“That’s right. You’re not him, are you?”

It was a topic I didn’t want to bring up in front of him, so I wanted to end the conversation quickly. Thinking that it would be enough to respond lightly, I asked without thinking. But there was a strange silence. A question came up when I was about to feel weird.

“How can you be sure?” 

For some reason, he seemed ticked off that I had simply said that he wasn’t who I was aiming for. Hesitating at that feeling, he asked again in a light tone.

“I could be that person named Yoon?”